A Truer Version of Ourselves

I had the pleasure this last weekend to volunteer my time serving at a women’s conference put on by Deepwater Women. Deepwater Women is an impressive organization run by Donna Beverly, Patti Gordon, and Amy Consoli, covering our deeper identity with Christ, growing a deeper intimacy with Him, and creating a more profound impact because of Him. Amy made a statement that grabbed me. “We are being remade into a truer image ourselves.” That sentence screamed at me. It summed up my struggle. As I move from who I made myself into being, toward what God made me, I am transforming into the actual person that God has always wanted me to be. What an incredible thought.

Jeremiah 31:3 “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

We struggle for our identity, and yet it is already within us, we need to find it. Years ago, I wanted to hike the Estelle Mine Train trail in northeast Georgia. I wanted to travel it because it followed the route of an old narrow gauge mine train that when from Pigeon Mountain, through seven tunnels, to what was once Estelle Georgia. I thought it would be neat to hike the tunnels. Once on the trail, I started to realize that this “right of way” hadn’t been used since 1924. The tunnels shrouded by time had their entrances partially covered by rock slides and overgrowth. Finding the tunnels took some effort and determination. I had a map, and I had the stories from the internet of the hike. Even with all of that, some were almost impossible to find.

God gives us the map, and He gives us the stories in the Bible, but finding our true self is still hard to achieve. In my case, I try too hard. I feel that God’s actual plan for me is massive and mysterious. It is the grand puzzle that must be solved. To get the prize, I must endure, overcome, remain steadfast, all the superlatives we hear in church. Finding my one true self is the ultimate goal of being a Christian and following Christ. Without sacrifice, it has no value. That’s crazy talk.

Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”

The tough part is to be calm. To be immersed in scripture and in prayer, to listen for God’s voice. It is a whisper in the night. It is the nudge that will not go away and the itch that needs to be scratched. There is a variation of a great quote from CS Lewis that I love: “give me the longing the scent of a flower I have not found, the echo of a tune I have not heard, and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” CS Lewis’ quote ended with “and news from a country I have not yet visited” in place of “and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” The quote I use here came from a Christian work of fiction that I no longer remember and can’t find a reference . I see in my mind a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch as supernatural radiation of pure white light that illuminates everything upon which it falls.

Think of the imagery: the scent of a flower I have not found… the echo of a tune I have not heard…. the struggle we feel finding our true self. The struggle is in the unquenchable desire to be that person. Every fiber of our being longs for it. It is what God made us before we existed. And yet we know it not.

Part of finding and living our purpose is quieting our minds so that we can hear God speak. He gives us all bread crumbs through passion, skills, opportunity, and resources. But to apply all of this to His kingdom takes direction. That direction comes from God through scripture, prayer, and council.

Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

You don’t have to reinvent yourself. It is not a monumental task that takes years to achieve. God has made you to be that person. He has instilled greatness in each of us. But it must be His greatness not ours.

Gratification Deferred

Romans 11:29 “for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” God’s will in your life is a sweeping tide.

In 1912, medical missionary Dr. William Leslie went to live and minister to tribal people in a remote corner of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. After 17 years he returned to the U.S. a discouraged man – believing he failed to make an impact for Christ. He died nine years after his return.

But in 2010, a team led by Eric Ramsey with Tom Cox World Ministries made a shocking and sensational discovery. They found a network of reproducing churches hidden like glittering diamonds in the dense jungle across the Kwilu River from Vanga, where Dr. Leslie was stationed. – Missionary died thinking he was a failure; 84 years later thriving churches found hidden in the jungle

2 Peter 3:8 “But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” 

I start this thought with the realization that God’s plan for me isn’t about me. That seems conflicted, or reversed, somehow. I know me. I have lived with me all my life. I have heard all the intimate details of my thoughts. I know the things that make me happy and the things that bring me shame. With all of this detailed knowledge, I can’t figure out me. I love what Paul said about this, it is so revealing. The fact it comes from Paul is comforting in a dysfunctional way.

Romans 7:15-20 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

If I can’t figure out what I want, how can I possibly figure out what God wants of me for others? Dr. Leslie never understood (this side of heaven) God’s plans for the tribal people. He only had an idea of what he thought was God’s plan for himself. Because of that, he lived a life of disappointment and discouragement. 

The trap is bailing out because you do not see the results you expect. This is very common is most endeavors. For entrepreneurs, it’s called “The Entrepreneurs Trap”, not willing to make that final investment that would project you over the top because of all the investments have already made. You lose everything because you are not willing to go the extra step. 

Chasing the Lord’s vision for your life is a lot trickier. The business world has a lot of scoreboards, life doesn’t. Many times, our impact isn’t going to be for decades. There is a domino effect through eternity that we cannot see. God’s goal for your life might be to affect just one person. That person “infects” a multitude. Without you, they fail. You’re the catalyst that starts the process. So how do you proceed?

The risk is both not doing something, because you don’t see progress and doing something you have no calling for, because you think you are seeing results. It’s a two-edged sword. It is easy to rationalize both ways. In John 7:17 it says “If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself.” Comforting to know that God says we will know the difference between our own will and the will of God. Did Dr. Leslie?

There are a couple of things I use as milestones, neither are a burning bush. They are more of the whispering variety. It all starts with prayer. Nothing will happen without prayer. First, I get a “nagging”. That quiet voice that just keeps saying something over and over. It usually lasts for days. It manifests itself in bible verses, sermons, conversations with others. It is a recurring theme. This could be to do, or not do something. It works both ways with me. Finding our true calling is much like building a business from scratch. It is not one big thing; it is a cacophony of small activities leading you to a go-no-go decision each step of the way.

The second thing, either places obstacles that keep slowing me down and putting off my expectations, or provides unexpected help in moving forward. Keep in mind Romans 11:29 “for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” God will use every means at His disposal to clarify your skills, passion, resources, and direction. He will not leave you hanging. He will not get bored, lose attention or be distracted. He will keep on task even when you have grown weary.

I mentioned 2 Peter 3:8 above. God’s timing is not our timing. We need to take heart throughout this process. We need to balance the need to move forward with the patience to wait on the Lord. At times it seems like a razor’s edge from which to fall. Move too fast we make mistakes, move too slow and we may miss an opportunity. God is in charge. He always was and always will be. Lean on Him. 

2 Thessalonians 1:11 “To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power,”

PATRICK DAY

Who was Patrick and why do you care?

Patrick Day was a 27-year-old boxer who died of a brain injury in a boxing match on October 14th of this year. “Patrick Day didn’t need to box,”…. “He came from a good family, he was smart, educated, had good values and had other avenues available to him to earn a living.” … “It’s how he inspired people and it was something that made him feel alive.” That is who he was, now why do you care? “Many people live much longer than Patrick’s 27 years, wondering if they made a difference or positively affected their world. This was not the case for Patrick Day when he left us.”

Can people say that about you? Can they say that about me?

I have another short story about one of my stones. I think I may have mentioned that in my early years I was somewhat driven. Actually, I was bullet proof and invisible. I did everything in excess. One of my excesses was running 10 miles a day rain, sleet or shine. It was an endorphin high and an obsession. In the spring of my 30th year I started getting tunnel vision around 4 to 5 miles. I would walk a few steps; it would go away and I would continue running. As it was spring and I wanted to ramp up my running, I went to the doctor to see if I could take something to get rid of this inconvenience.

The inconvenience put me in the hospital for a few days as they ran a complete battery of test to determine the problem. All they knew for sure was that it had something to do with my heart and from the initial signs it was much more dangerous than tunnel vision. They couldn’t find the source. I was told to back off on all exercise. Basically, I was told to sit in a rocking chair and find a good book. As a 30-year-old I needed to act like I was 90. As I mentioned, I was bullet proof and invisible. This is a minor setback. It will go away. They’ll give me a pill and poof, back to normal. …. But, not so much….

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and no real progress. The problem was getting worse. More tests, maybe this, maybe that… no real answer. I started out with a partial heart block that was slowly turning into something worse.

Then one day

I’m living alone in my apartment watching TV when it happened. Prolonged tunnel vision. The protocol was to call my cardiologist for instructions. Dr. Wickliffe (Charles) was a friend before he was my doctor.

Me “Charles, tunnel vision, kind of long this time.”

Charles “stop doing what you are doing and relax.”

Me “I’m lying on the couch doing nothing, the only thing I can stop doing is breathing.”

Charles “I have a full schedule tomorrow come see me before the office opens, say around 7:30.”

Waiting is not my strong suit, so I decided to go to bed, get up early and see Charles in the morning. What I am going to tell you next is real. I can still see it in my minds eye. It still scares me today. I woke up in the middle of the night looking at myself lying in bed. I was on the ceiling looking down. That was me in the bed. I was awake. My body slowly slid down the wall and onto the bed. I was now looking at a blank ceiling. I laid there drenched with sweat, my heart was jumping out of my chest and I was terrified. I had never experienced anything even close to this in my life and I had no idea what it meant.

Options, what are my options? Stay here alone and maybe die in the night? Not good. I could go to the hospital across the street from Charles’ office and wait for him. Better idea, but how. It’s only a few blocks away (I was living in mid-town at the time), I could walk. Not good, most of it is up hill and would put a strain on my heart. Then I would die in the middle of the street alone and at night. I know, I could drive, but that would put other motorist in potential danger. Idiot, it is the middle of the night, what other motorist? Drive it is.

I walked into the emergency room at Piedmont Hospital around 2 A.M. I really don’t know what I am doing other than I want to be around other people. I don’t want to be alone. This whole thing had become rather confusing. I found a chair and made myself comfortable until Dr. Wickliffe shows up at 7:30. Well as it would turn out, they don’t allow people to “hang out” in the emergency room. The night nurse said “Hey, you’re in or you’re out, choose” … I’m in.

They put me in a small observation room, hooked up an EKG and watched for a while. All’s cool, I’m safe and in good hands. I had a male nurse; he left the room for a few minutes and comes back with a defibrator. For those of you who don’t know what a defibrator is, it’s a heart shock devise. I worked my way through undergraduate in surgery at a hospital. I’ve seen a lot of defibrators and I know what they do.

Me “curiosity, whatcha got that for?”……

nurse “well your heart has stopped three times since you got here. Don’t worry Dr. Wickliffe is on the way.”… que dramatic music….

At this point my brain didn’t have thoughts, it only had half sentences. I think it was oscillating between my natural positive attitude and outright panic. Thank goodness Charles showed up to stabilize my attention. He assured me that everything was going to be fine. I did the right thing…. Yada, yada, yada… I don’t think I was listening. My brain was still having its own convoluted dialog.

Job 33:4 “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life”

BAM… I hit my head…. Bright lights…. What…. A man in a white mask says, “it’s going to be alright”. My heart had stopped in mid-sentence in the emergency room and they took me directly to surgery. I hit my head as a reaction to them starting my heart back. It was an emergency, they didn’t follow standard protocol, there was no time. In post-op I sat there looking at this big box taped to my arm. It had a blinking red light. Charles said it was my temporary pacemaker. Because of my age they had to order a special pacemaker and it would be here the next day. I had to go back to surgery to have it implanted. But I was and will be fine.

What does all this have to do with Patrick Day? God was extremely compassionate with me. He gave me another chance to be the man he wanted me to be. Patrick was already that man.

The rest of the night I watched that blinking red light. That was my life, it was my future, it was everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t…yet. It took me over a year to get used to the fact I was dependent on an electrical devise implanted in my chest. I was no longer bullet proof or invisible. I was human. It made me look at the past and project it forward. I didn’t like the picture. For the first time in decades I picked up a bible and started to read.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

I wasn’t there yet, but the search had begun. I missed my chance at being Patrick Day, but I could find a way of becoming Tomme Stevenson.

2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

What if I Don’t like the Destination?

Isaiah 43:19 “Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

I love the outdoors. I hike as often as I can, which is normally a couple times a week. So, I love the visual of Isaiah. “I’m about to do something new” …. “Even now it is coming” …. “Do you see it?” … “Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness” …. It seems colossal, grand, breathtaking.   It is like hearing the rush of a great waterfall just up the trail. The winding path and the canopy of the trees hiding it from view, but the ever increasing crescendo of the falling water unmistakable.   My steps quicken with anticipation. I can’t wait to get a glimpse of one of God’s creations. That is how I should feel about the fulfillment of God’s plan for me. Breathless anticipation.

Second only to the fear of what God may ask me to do, is the fear of where He might ask me to go.  Ezekiel 1:12 says “And each went straight forward; wherever the spirit was about to go, they would go, without turning as they went.” This is a direct imperative to move forward without questioning. To go…straight… without turning. That’s intimidating. And it brings about a couple concerns.

What if I don’t like the destination

The Lord says in Psalm 32:8 “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” There is this element of trust that we must overcome if we are to ever have a fulfilling life through Christ.  God doesn’t say He will guide us along a path, but along the best path. And furthermore, once we start down that path, He will watch over us. This all begins with trusting that He is telling us the truth.

A weird story about destinations. I would guess for most of my adult Christian life people fretted about God sending them to Africa. This was kind of the epitome of going where you didn’t want to go. It was as if Africa was the place that God sends hard core, give your life to Christ, missionaries. Surrender everything, live in a grass hut and dine with the natives, kind of evangelism. Not for the weak at heart, or spirit. None of my upper middle-class folks wanted to go there. Fast forward to this year.

It was not my plan to go to Africa. Even when I agreed to start working with IMED (International Micro-Enterprise Development) I really didn’t think about the destination. But guess what…. This year alone I have gone to Africa three times and I already have a plane ticket for a fourth. But it was never about the destination. It was always about using my God given talents to serve His kingdom. I just ended up in Africa.

I would suggest that we should spend more time on what He wants and let the where take care of itself. If we have passion for the what, we won’t care about the where.

Worse, what if I’m not sure of the destination

In Psalms 73 David says “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny”. Yes, a glorious destiny. Not some off-the-beaten-track swamp land destination, but a glorious one. As the saying goes “if you don’t know where you are going, any path will take you there.”

Once I come to grips with the idea that what God wants for me is better than anything I could want for myself, I am left with finding out what He really wants of me. That can be hard. I gravitate to what I want for me because I understand that. We live in a land of opportunity. Virtually every day I hear of a new opportunity to serve God in a special way.  The needs are overwhelming. Add to that the sheer joy experienced by the people serving and everything seems attractive. Everything seems critical and needed. How do I figure out which is best for me?

Again, I have to say there is no single answer to figuring that out. There were several years between when I first heard of IMED and when I actually looked into it. Roswell Day of Hope (RDH) was much the opposite.  We were looking for some activity to put our effort behind and RDH just came together. It was a struggle, but pieces kept falling in place. It seemed predestine to happen. The prison ministry was a road I would not have traveled except to help a friend.

I keep going back to this because I think it is critical to understand “Each current season using the last season to build toward the next season.”. God does not waste time or effort. Everything we experience, if we are willing, God will use to move us closer to His ultimate purpose for us here on earth. The destination you see in front of you might just be the next mile maker on your journey to our ultimate destination.

For my money I would concentrate on the what and not the where. If I am in the sweet spot of my passion, where I serve doesn’t matter that much.

Psalm 48:14

“For That Is What God Is Like. He Is Our God Forever And Ever, And He Will Guide Us Until We Die.”

What if I’m not Equipped for God’s Plan for Me

James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves”

Timothy says in 2 Timothy 3:17 “That the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” We have mentioned “Each current season using the last season to build toward the next season.” a couple of times. God will equip us for what He has in store for us. It may be through our own efforts, or the efforts of those He sends with us. But we will be equipped.

In some aspects this is easy. God has ingrained in us a natural passion for the work he has planned for us. But if you are like me, there is an army of voices in my head. Each one is trying to make a point. How do I ferret out the one true voice I should be listening to? There are as many answers to this as there are people on the earth. In my case there are a number of “checks” I need to make to validate my decision.

Part of our equipping might be going. We sometimes need experience to understand the lesson. We step out in faith in order to experience God’s presence. Through that experience, we gain understanding. The more we trust God, the easier it is to do again. I think back to the start of my experience with Champions for Life. I certainly did not feel equipped to share the gospel. And I certainly didn’t feel equipped to talk with inmates. But the more I went, the easier it became. The “going” was part of the “equipping”. Champions for Life prepared me for the next season.

The first Is “Is what I am thinking I need to do, consistence with scripture? “ This is the foundation of all Christian reasoning. But it can be deceptive. My “want” can be to do good, but it may not be consistent with God’s plan for my life. For example: I see someone else bringing a lot of souls to Christ and I want to feel the same joy as them. But their path is not necessarily my path. Scriptural consistency is the foundation, but not the whole answer.  We can try to accomplish many things that are consistent with God’s plans for humanity, but not necessarily within our wheelhouse. We can do it, but not achieve the true joy that accompanies doing God’s will for our life.

The second question I ask myself is “Do the Christians who know me the best think that the plans I am pursuing make sense for me”? Again, this alone is not a good indicator. People with very good hearts will validate my ideas in an effort to motivate me into action. So, it is important to me to question their answers. God will speak through them. But He will not tell them something He hasn’t already told me.

I love this word picture from Isaiah 30:21 “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  And your ears will hear a word behind you… It is like God is standing behind you listening to the advice you are being given and instructing you in what is good and right. The “word behind you” can be a remembrance of scripture as in Romans 10:17 “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” Or it can be a thought or actual voice (John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”) God does not have a tendency to ambush us. There is no bait and switch. There is no misdirection. If He wants something from us, He just tells us. If we don’t listen, He will tell us again through other means.

Godly council from trusted friends is one of God’s best tools, use it wisely.

The third important question I ask myself is “Is it a natural extension of who God has made me to be?” Is it a one off? The prison ministry was somewhat of a one off, except I was fully committed to doing it. I was committed, not to going into prisons, but in supporting a friend. I had done this in the past and it was a natural extension to our relationship. God used that relationship to get me the experience He knew I needed. Almost everything God has put in front of me has been an extension of who I already was, with a little stretch into something I wasn’t…. yet… If my focus had been sharing the gospel with inmates it would have been a resounding NO. But the focus was on being a good friend, and to that end I was committed.

If these three questions create a consistent answer, then I step out in faith. There may be further refining along the way, but at this point I need to be obedient. There will always be forks in the road. Each fork will require the same process to proceed.

I love what it says in Hebrews 13:20-21 “Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. “. The God of Peace will equip me with everything good that I might do His will. What more can I ask for?

What you can be, you must be

Maslow concluded: “What you can be, you must be.”

Maslow stumbled on one of the most elegant, simple and complete descriptions of God’s plan for our lives. This seven-word statement tells us all we need to know of both the uniqueness of our person and the uniqueness of our purpose. It simply tells us that we must be who God made us to be. As simple as that.

In Jeremiah 1:5 God said “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Furthermore we learn from Psalms 139:15-16 “My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

I read the last part again “the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” So God knew my every step before I came into existence. But what about my free will to choose? If my every step in known why is finding my purpose so hard? I should just be able to get up in the morning and automatically do what God had planned for me to do… makes sense right…. But my experience tells me it ain’t so.

The word I am looking for is “antinomy”. Definition: Greek antinomía a contradiction between laws. Both being simultaneously true. Somehow God has this plan laid out for me, but I still have to choose to take part in it. I have an image in my head of how this might work. The problem with my image is that it is based on my limited knowledge and therefore is inaccurate almost by definition. Great help huh….

We take a Rabbit trail for a bit

Boetheus had a view of how free will/fore-ordination works such that since God is outside of time, he can look at all of history at once — and thus knows every decision beforehand. Kind of a chicken or egg sort of thing. The real answer is: I don’t know how it works, but I know somehow it does. I know this from scripture and from my own experience. There are tons of references to God’s plan for us, that’s the biblical part. My experience is that that there is real evil in the world and that evil is from free will, not fore-ordination. God would not create us for evil, we have to choose it. From a Biblical sense I think of evil as the absence of doing good. Choosing not to choose is not a “no decision”, it is a decision to do nothing.

In Isaiah 45:7 (KJV) it says “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.” The word evil used here is from the Hebrew word RAH which means affliction, trouble, calamity, grievous, or misery. The bigger context of this verse is that it refers to natural disasters (verses 5-7). A more accurate translation is “The One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these,”

Sorry I wanted to make sure we didn’t confuse this discussion with a discussion of free will and evil. That is a different subject for another time.

Back to the Main trail

So, if you look at verses like Jeremiah and Psalms and think you can just sit back and it will all work out, I don’t think you will like the outcome.  Max Lucado in “Ten Men of the Bible” said “Behind every avalanche is a snowflake, behind every rock slide is a pebble”. God’s plan is the avalanche and the rock slide. Our decisions are the snowflakes and the pebbles.  

Finding the purpose that God created us for is more than a good idea. It is the essence of why we are here. Finding it and living in it, completes us. It makes us whole as human beings and it makes us whole with the relationship we have with our creator.

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”

I am not Billy Graham

Overcoming the Old Me in Finding Purpose

Discovering and chasing our purpose can be daunting. We not only have to deal with the uncertainty of what it is, we also have to struggle with why God would choose us in the first place.  I cannot think of a single thing more damaging than a person thinking they are not worthy of their assignment. We need to stop believing that God would never choose us for great things. This is especially true if we have never stepped out in faith.

To a Christian, being worthy is kind of a contradiction. “We are saved by grace not by work so that none may boast” (Ephesians 2:9) There is an unworthiness about us that we cannot deny. It is our sin nature that caused God to come to earth in the image of a man to be humiliated and hung on a cross for our sins. For that we are truly and totally unworthy.

The unworthiness I am talking about here is that small voice in your head that tells you, because of your old sin you will never accomplish anything great for His kingdom. Never. People will always see the old you, the sinner and say “underneath, deep down inside, you are that person”.

David laments in Ecclesiastes 7:20 “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” Paul goes on to say in Romans 7:19 “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice” We are broken. We start to believe the great Christians who have led hundreds of thousands to Christ are somehow better. More theologically educated, more morally upright, more indwelt by the Spirit.

But 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come”. I am not that old me. I still struggle with the ghost of my old sin. It is not so much a fear of going back, as it is a haunting of being there in the first place. I am washed clean by Christ’s blood, but I can’t forget. This living in the past is what can stop me from moving forward.

One of the problems I have with writing this blog is “how can someone with my background have the audacity to publish articles on how to find your true passion in Christ.“. If you follow my lead, it is going to take you about forty years and a there will be lot of collateral damage.

How Do I Move Forward?

Here is how I do it. I do it by admitting I am not Billy Graham. I (me, not you) will never foster a worldwide movement or start a theological seminary. There is a good chance no one will remember my name. Ah but one will…. God will always know my name and my heart… I do it because God sees us in a way that we can never see ourselves. King David, wow, he and Bathsheba… and Bathsheba’s husband…. Paul, attacking the early church, attacking?… persecuting the early church…  Moses, killed a man and had to go into hiding. Everyone has a past.

Earlier I have talked about “Each current season using the last season to build toward the next season”. God does not waste anything. He will use who we were to make us who He wants us to be.  It is the trials, failures and frustration that gives us compassion and empathy for the lost. It is what we went through to find grace that causes us to pursue others. We are seasoned warriors on the battle field of life. Without our scars we would lack credibility.

When I was in the prison yard, I was surrounded by a couple thousand inmates. They were atheists, agnostics, Wiccans, Muslims, and some Christians. I realized that it was my past that gave me credibility to talk about their future. Many felt their sins were beyond redemption. It was because I had sinned and continued to struggle with sin that gave them hope for redemption. My redemption is the story of their redemption.

Writing this makes me think of this quote:

Now, every time I witness a strong person I want to know: “what darkness did you conquer in your story? “, mountains do not rise without earthquakes. – Katherine MacKenett

God is our earthquake. He and He alone can rise us up above who we were to become a movement for Him. We may only be a movement of one, but the ripple effect through eternity will make God jump with joy.

If you have not seen “The Bema”, by Tim Stevenson, you should. Here is the link The Bema . It is a fictional reenactment of 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.” For a Christian the judgement here is not about our sin, but about what we have done for Christ since we knew Him.  It refers to the Crowns given by Christ to those who have done His will (2 Timothy 4:7-8, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, 1 Thessalonians 2:19, 20, James 1:12). It does a great job of demonstrating the many ways we can further God’s kingdom here on earth.

We do not have to be Billy Graham; we just need to be the person God made us to be.

1 Corinthians 10:13

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Regarding Purpose what is one of our Greatest Fears?

Most Christians want to serve Christ. Once we admit that to ourselves, we immediately say… but…. We want to serve in our way, to the people we choose, within our timetable, using our disposable resources. We do not want to serve an ungrateful people, in some awful environment, using up our hard-earned vacation time. Thinking it is not the same as saying it, …. so we’re good…. Right?

How often do we try to fit the Gospel into our situation rather than fit our situation into the Gospel?

In Romans 8:28 Paul writes “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” To the Ephesians he says in Ephesians 1:11 “Also, we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will”

I have a purpose. I was created as a unique creature, with specific skills and afforded specific resources to accomplish a unique task. But I have free will in choosing both if and how I will respond. I can accept the fact that I have this unique purpose without actually working to advance it.

Tom Shuler wrote a great book entitled “Metaporphyx”. In it he tries to clarify the process of both understanding and fulfilling God’s purpose in our lives. It looks at this purpose as not a thing, or a single event, but a continuous process that repeats itself. Each cycle building on the last. Each cycle, or season, is punctuated by a pivot point. A pivot point is a critical event that causes us to both reassess and redefine our direction. The redefinition of our direction does not alter our purpose. The purpose remains the same, but the direction constantly changes based on the seasons of our lives.

 So again… what is our purpose?

Here is a hint.

John 15:1-27 says “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. “

Our purpose has to do with bearing fruit.  So, what does the Bible say about fruit?

James 2:14-26 says“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. …”

First of all, the fruit we are looking for comes from the Spirit. Not every good work qualifies. Just those that are created out of an abiding love and obedience to the Spirit. Second, it is active and not passive. We must actually do something. We can not just say “God loves you, go in peace”. We must minister to their actual needs. “So also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead”. Dead, as in completely worthless.

So, to summarize this point…. I have a unique and specific purpose for which I was created and that purpose requires that I do something material.

We also know that God will assure our success when we chase His purpose. He says in Philippians 1:6 “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

I end this thought knowing that whatever my purpose, if I abide in Christ and diligently search, I will be successful. I’m still working the whole purpose thing out, but God has assured me that I will eventually succeed.

Matthew 6:19-21

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Discernment… in a loud world

Knowing Where to Turn

There is a great struggle in my life as I look to the future. It confronts me from many directions. Am I financially prepared, do I know my true passion, am I gifted to follow that passion, is there an opportunity that I am both qualified for and that wants me? I have people in my life, good and close friends, that perplex me. They are dealing with the same problems but in different ways. Are any of these ways, right?

Proverbs 16:9 says “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” It comes down to knowing God’s will for my future. This is the crux of the problem. I have a very sketchy records for understanding God’s will in my life. I am going to use the word “failure” here as the antithesis of my perception of success. My vision for the future is clouded by a lack of knowledge. So, my view of success and failure share this same shortsightedness.

In 1 Corinthians 2:14 the bible says “The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” It also says in Acts “And he said, ‘The God of our fathers appointed you to know his will, to see the Righteous One and to hear a voice from his mouth”  The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit, but God appoints us to know his will, to hear His voice. The challenge seems to be moving from the natural world we are used to, into the Spiritual world in which God speaks.

I could point out many instances where I worked diligently through prayer and council to understand and follow God’s will only to face failure (see above). Now I could assume that because of my attempted faithfulness they were not a failure, I just didn’t see the win. I am afraid that that is a massive assumption that may only serve the purpose of making me feel better concerning my “failure”.  They could, in truth, be a failure. Or… it could have been the will of God that these opportunities were to plant a seed for future success in someone else’s life. I would guess this was communicated to me in Proverbs when the Lord said “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” Not my purpose but his. I am not forwarding my plans on earth, but His plans.

So, my quandary, my consternation, my confusion, lies in understanding the unknown. I fall back on Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  That future may be eternity with Him, not necessarily to prosper here on earth.

I have to avoid falling back on my understanding of success and rely on God’s even when I don’t know what His is. John 6:63 tells me “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.”

I struggle with this a great deal. In the shadows of my mind I know that God will not allow me to fail if I am faithful. That I do not have to know implicitly what he wants me to do. I just need to be obedient to the task before me.

That will have to be enough for now….

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established