He died of a Broken Heart.

1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

My dad passed away a year ago at the age of 92. My mother proceeded him by just a few months. Dad and Mom had been married 72 years. My father didn’t die of illness or accident; he just stopped eating. Without my mom at his side, there was no reason to go on.

This isn’t a new story. We hear it quite often. Love is such a powerful force that it can cause one to die from a broken heart. By the will of God that, I should go the same way.

Dane Ortlund, in his book Gentle and Lowly, describes the death of Christ on the cross as not physical death but one of a broken heart. He talks about Christ taking on the sum-total penalty for every lustful thought and deed coming from the heart of God’s people over eternity. He asks what physical torture is compared to the total weight of centuries of cumulative wrath absorbed? He goes on to talk about how it was the withdrawal of God’s love from His heart, not the withdrawal of oxygen from His lungs, that killed Him.

1 John 4:16, “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

This is a thought that is hard for me to comprehend. I know the anxiety and fear that follows every sin. It is either the remorse of my doing or fear of being found out. No sin goes unpunished or unnoticed. Every sin carries its price. We, as mere humans, begin to rationalize that it is the cost of being alive. No person is without sin or escapes their sin’s consequences.

 “No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.” – C.S. Lewis

What if I had to carry the weight and consequences of not only my sin but the sin of my family; or my town. What if it was only my country? If I lose sleep over my actions, how much more sleep do I lose if I know and accept the burden of the sins of others.

I have often thought of Christ’s death for me as a transaction. My sin sat upon a table; God, through Christ, dished out currency and took my sin away. The currency was Christ’s death on the cross. When I read about the horrors of Christ’s suffering before the crucifixion, I thought it described how high that price was. My focus was on physical death. That was an enormous price for someone to pay for an undeserving soul like me.

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. “

Dane Ortlund painted a different picture. It was a picture not of physical pain but emotional pain. When I think of losing someone dear to me, it is a deep throbbing pain that no prescription will erase. People turn to medication, drugs, and alcohol to deaden it. Like my dad, we can lose our desire to live.

Christ did that not just for you but for all of His people for all time.

John 13:1, “Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.”

Doing it for just one person takes more emotional strength than I can imagine. What was it like to feel all the fear and anxiety for everyone who lived? To do this freely because of His enormous love for those people. Every anguished cry across the millennia was being recapitulated and fulfilled through Christ. The voices in His head, the cries, the wailing, and their remorse all descending on Him to snuff out His light.

Christ did this without wavering. He looked directly into the very depths of Hell and did not wince. He saw the horde of evil descending on Him, and He marched on. My heart cries out for that level of love.

Today, we look within ourselves to see if Christ’s sacrifice was in vain. He died of a broken heart because of us. Can we say that the lives we are living are worth it?

1 John 4:11, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another?”

The Fixer

Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I’m in my home town visiting my family. I spent my “formative” years here. Although I have been away for the better part of half a century, I still call this home. The kids I went to high school with are still kids to me. The images of them hanging out is still fresh in my mind.

THE PAST

One of my schoolmates just passed away. When she was in high school with me, she was a sweet, fun-loving girl with her whole life in front of her. Over time, disappointment and drugs took that away from her. I’m a guy, and being a guy; I want to fix things. I’m also an engineer, so double that. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in life is that there are certain things that I can’t fix. No amount of trying and praying and working was going to improve it. Some things are the exclusive purview of God.

Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

I love the striving. I love overcoming. I love the against-all-odds victories. I relish the emotional high of seeing someone rise above their circumstances to achieve the improbable. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes we make choices that are hard to undo. We go in directions that are hard to reverse. We pick a life that doesn’t end well. I hate that. I hate that terrible endings are even possible.  

The truth is that God gave us free will. That free will allowed us to demonstrate our love for Him by freely choosing Him. It also means that we are free not to choose Him. We can not make that decision for anyone but ourselves. The guy side of me has a problem with that concept. Even though I make bad decisions for myself, I still want to help others make good decisions. It is most apparent when it’s too late. It is with regret and remorse that I look back.

John 6:40, “For this is the will of my Father that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

THE PRESENT

We all have people in our lives that we want to see for eternity. We want them to share the beauty and majesty of eternity with our Maker. But we believe there is time. There is time to share the gospel. There is time to have that difficult conversation. There is time to save a life for eternity. One day we find out there isn’t any more time.

Psalms 27:4, “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”

Don’t get me wrong; you can’t fix it any more than I can. We each have to choose. But do we choose with full knowledge? It is easy to feel responsible somehow. You knew them. You knew a little about what they were going through, but you’re a thousand miles away. Your orbits crossed sometimes but never synched up. What could you have done? Nothing in some cases. But there are a lot of cases you could do something. Would you? You know people who need to hear full disclosure concerning their decisions.

Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

Their soul gets pushed down into the mire of their lives and suffocates. They live the only life that they know. Unconditional love and redemption are not topics they believe in. Mostly these are not bad people; they do good for others and are positive examples to those around them. Their focus is worldly. Their actions are self-supporting. They believe when life is over, it is over; there is nothing else. I am sometimes surprised at how many activists don’t have an eternal view. These are people who fight against evil but don’t believe in it.

1 Peter 2:15, “For this is the will of God that by doing good, you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.”

THE FUTURE

Where most great intentions fail is in the implementation. It is in the execution that we trip and fall. No, we can’t fix certain things, but we can create an environment that attracts curiosity. We can build relationships that expose full knowledge. We can take a minute to step into the lives of those around us to draw them in. In the end, it is they that must accept or reject Christ. It is up to us to lay the groundwork for that decision. That groundwork is not just words but actions; the way we live our lives. Then we let God take over.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

“That Guy”

James 2:14-17, “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

THE PRICE OF PRAYER

I have prayed for someone for over 40 years and still don’t know where God is taking her. I know her story, and it’s a bad one. She has endured almost every type of dysfunction imaginable, yet she still stands.  When I met her, I wanted to be that guy; you know the type, part star quarterback and part cheerleader. He knows when to step in to help and when to stand back to cheer. I never got there for her.

I get into these dilemmas where I want to be the Savior of humankind. I want to be “that guy.” The combination of Superman and Mother Teressa.  I want to be strong when strength is required and quiet and understanding when strength isn’t needed. I want to be the rock, the light on the hill, and the warm embrace. My therapist says I have a white knight syndrome, what does she know? As for me, I don’t know if “that guy” is a stereotype or a figment.

Romans 15:1, “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.”

This got me thinking about a lady I met in the park a few years ago. It was early spring, and the Dogwoods trees were starting to bloom. Every spring, Atlanta has the Dogwood festival. It is an event that brings some of the most incredible artisans in the country to Piedmont Park. I go down early Friday to talk with them as they build their booths. This year was no different, or I thought it wouldn’t be.

Romans 12:13, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

THE PRICE OF ART

As I sat on a picnic bench deciding what to eat for lunch, a lady sat across for me. She casually said that the price of just one piece of art would feed her for a year. I laughed and said I agreed. Then she mentioned that she had just gotten out of prison. God has done this to me enough that I have started to pick up on the tale tail signs of His hand in action. I had to ask the dreaded question, “Tell me about it.” God had a plan, and I was in the midst of it.

Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

She told a story about a girl who somehow grew up to be a tired middle-aged woman. This girl always picked the wrong man. Her heart leads her brain to the same place every time; women’s prison. You see, these guys are always into something, something the law doesn’t appreciate. She loves them anyway. Eventually, both of them part ways in shackles and jumpsuits. She gets out and starts the process all over again. One day she looks in the mirror, and the girl has turned into a middle-aged woman going nowhere.

That woman is now sitting next to me. She knows she can’t repeat what she has done in the past, but she doesn’t see an alternative future. You know that guy I told you about a few paragraphs ago? Well, he’s an idiot. He can’t let a thing go; compassion for baby kittens and stray dogs overwhelms him. So, that guy buys her lunch, and we start to talk.

Proverbs 19:17, “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will reward them for what they have done.”

THE PRICE OF SIN

As we talk, I want to cry for this woman. God has made her an incredible creature with almost limitless potential, but it has been highjacked. She gravitates to the wrong people. She is the right raw material, just in the hands of the wrong sculpturer. Lucky for us, this is God’s plan, not ours. Trust me; you don’t want to take advice from me. But God, that’s another story.

Matthew 25:44-45, “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.’”

I asked her if she ever thought of going to church? My thought was that she might meet a better class of men. Better yet, she would find a better class of female companionship that would help her steer clear of a particular class of men. Sorry, this is all God gave me to go on. It was enough. She mentioned that group of women from the neighborhood church stop by the halfway house each week. That was her new plan to create an alternate future. She would go to church with them. God planted the seed that could grow into a better life.

THE RETURN ON THAT INVESTMENT

It was now late afternoon, and I had to return home. I didn’t get to talk to many artisans, but I watched God work. My friend from the first paragraph will always be in my heart. I always think I could have done more or been more, but that wasn’t God’s plan for us. God does remind me through these interactions that He is at work answering prayer. He has not forgotten her or me. He has planted the seed.

Hebrews 6:10 “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.”

That is enough for now. It is enough to know that God never gives up and never quits. God will use a stranger to plant a seed of hope that will grow into a beautiful garden. It might not be part of His plan for us to see that particular garden, so He lets us walk through gardens that others have prepared beforehand.

Stay faithful in prayer and obedient to His call.

Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Whispered Moments

John 15:16 “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

I don’t know about you, but I tend to travel fast through life. I have this insatiable desire to get to tomorrow. Today is great, and I love living it, but tomorrow is where it’s at. Everything I do builds to a crescendo. Today is not complete; I am not all I can be, but tomorrow, yes, tomorrow. That is the promise of my life.

Proverbs 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”

I believe that God has this great adventure waiting just around the corner. What corner, I’m not sure. Maybe it is the next corner or the next. I keep moving forward, convinced that my drive is obedience. Obedience becomes a destination, not a journey.

Let me tell you about a rock in my life; I may have told it before. Rocks are the little stories that sometimes go unremembered. I remember this one because it was late fall. I remember it was cold because it was dark early, and I bundled up as I walked from the train station to my destination; not the crisp northern cold, but a Georgia winter wet cold. The type that crawls under your jacket and digs into your bones. I was late meeting a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while. Walking head down against the wind, I walked across the courtyard exiting the station and just vaguely remember seeing a shadow of a man. The voice in my head said, “stop.” It seemed loud and natural enough that I came to a halt.

Romans 13:11, “And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.”

I now looked at the man standing in the cold. He had on a trench coat, but it didn’t look warm. He stood looking into the air, moving left, then right. He seemed uncertain as to what he needed to do next. I’m late, I said to myself and started to move on. All I heard was “To the least of these…” nothing more.

God doesn’t yell or intimidate; He reminds us of the great privilege of knowing Him and the great joy we can receive by obeying Him. It wasn’t a command or even a request. It was just a quiet voice of truth.

John 9:4, “As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. The night is coming, when no one can work.”

I looked at the man’s face. This was the first time I saw him. His eyes were sad and painful. There were a lot of years in those young eyes. He knew disappointment; they were traveling buddies. He had lost something important and was at a loss as to what to do. I knew to speak to him was to take on his burden. Once I knew, I couldn’t turn back. Reluctantly I asked, “Can I help you?”

God is an incredibly loving God. He is amazing. This man’s need was everything to him. It was insurmountable in his circumstances. But to him, it was just another hard day on earth. To me, it was simple. I gave him what I had, and it was more than enough. He stood erect and shook my hand with thanks and a nod. But his eye gave it away. Relief and surrender. I started to walk away, but I stopped. I turned and said, “You know, God loves you; that is why I am here now.” He smiled and said, “Yes, sir, I truly know that.”

Answer God’s call, folks. Be that person. I don’t have words that can accurately paint the picture of how it will change your life forever.

1 John 2:17, “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”

There are big things that God will nag us over. He will plant the seed. He’ll water and fertilize it. He will come back over and over to prune it. He just won’t let it go. Those things we eventually come around to acknowledging. They’re BHAGs (Big Hairy Aggressive Goals). They take time, energy, and planning, but they are worth it.

Isaiah 59:1, “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short that it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear.”

What I love and crave are the whispered moments when God has a single opportunity to share. God says, “Tomme, see what I have for you?” “Look, it’s over there.” And when I turn, it takes my breath away. I stand in awe. These are the rocks in my memorial. I pick each one up and remember a time when He loved me so much he asked me to be in His plan for someone else. The stones are the BHAGs that I could have never accomplished without Him. The rocks are his way of telling me how much He loves me for the little thing that makes life worth living.

When Elijah was on Mt. Horeb, God was not in the wind, He was not in the fire, God was not in the earthquake; God was in the whisper.

1 Kings 19: 1112, “The Lord said, “Go out. Stand on the mountain in front of me. I am going to pass by.” As the Lord approached, a very powerful wind tore the mountains apart. It broke up the rocks. But the Lord wasn’t in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake. But the Lord wasn’t in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire came. But the Lord wasn’t in the fire. And after the fire there was only a gentle whisper.”

Be that person; listen for the whisper. Be still and make room in your life to stand in God’s presence and listen for His whispers across your heart.

Ephesians 5:15-17, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

The Conundrum of Intentional Obedience

“I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do” – Edward Everett Hale, American author, historian, civil war spy, and Unitarian minister, 1822-1909

Intentionality and Obedience

I sometimes feel like I am one of the Israelites in the desert. God provides, and I grumble. Every time, absolutely every time, I am intentional in my obedience; good things happen. But still, I falter. You see, I want something I should never have. I should never have them because they are not good for me. No matter how much I covet them, I will be disappointed. I know this, and still, I want. God does His best to protect me, except for this “free will” thing. If He took that away, decisions would be easier.

1 Peter 1:14, “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance.”

At night, clarity came over me about what I needed to do. Intentionality and obedience go hand-in-hand. We can’t plan to be obedient; we have to execute. Much of the value in obedience comes from our dogged desire to see it through with urgency.

1 Timothy 1:5, “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”

I am at that point in life where my bucket list has only one last item, obedience to God’s call. It’s somewhat revealing that this is the last thing on my bucket list; shouldn’t it have been the first? In a long life, shouldn’t I have experienced this yet? There are two challenges; first, there is the constant nature of obedience, and second, there is the intentionality of obedience. Mostly I’m obedient when I can see the why. I can follow when what I want is synchronized with what I think God wants. In hindsight, I see that this synchronicity is mostly a false rationalization. I see what I want and assume God sees the same thing.  But His view is greater than mine.

1 Corinthians 2:9, “However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who love him.”

The core issue concerns my genuine desire to be obedient. Am I only obedient when it looks to be to my benefit; when I see God’s desire for my life to be in concert with mine? Am I on God’s side, or do I expect Him to be on mine? Do I expect God to agree with me?

“Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.” – Abraham Lincoln.

Over the last few weeks, I have started to perceive a new view of God that is somewhat different than my previous view. I have always read and heard about God’s emotional attributes; you know his mercy, love, and compassion. I’ve balanced God’s good side with His judgment, wrath, and condemnation. I have built up this image of a God not much different than myself. He is perfect, and I am not, but we share the same challenges. God is much better at taking the right path; His path is correct by definition. This leaves me in the position of trying to empathize with His decisions. I try to put His decision in perspective of what I am experiencing.

Numbers 28:19, “God is not man that He should lie, or son of man that He should change His mind. Has He said and will He not do it? Or has He spoken and will not fulfil it?”

Unchanging and Perfect

Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.”

What if God was constant and our perception of Him changes? What if He is always perfect and absolute, but we perceive Him differently based on the decision’s impact on us? What if there is an innate purity to all of God’s decisions that supersede emotional attributes?  He is everything we perceive Him to be, but it is not what drives Him. It is not that God doesn’t love us unconditionally. It is not that He is not merciful, kind, compassionate, and long-suffering. It is not that God hates sin. Because of these innate attributes of His character, He does not become emotionally highjacked when making decisions. He always does what’s best.

Isaiah 14:24, “Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned so shall it be, and as I have proposed, so shall it stand.”

What would that mean to our obedience? God does not decide based on human emotions like compassion or wrath but absolute truth. We judge the impact of His decision based on how we see it affecting us; did He bless or curse us? Job’s friends had a big issue with this. They tried to tie Job’s predicament to God’s emotional state. They felt Job must have angered God somehow.

Job 34:36, “Job ought to be tried to the limit because he answers like wicked men.”

Once our need to be obedient rises above the emotional attributes assigned to God, it becomes more intentional. We know God’s truth is innately super-eminent and pure so we can follow. Not because we can rationalize some benefit to our world or His kingdom, but because it is by design perfect. And because it is always perfect, we know He is working with our best interest in mind, even when we don’t see it.

I’m not sure about this idea. It resonates with me. It helps me rationalize why I stray when the path is clear, just undesirable. The concept explains why our human-size brain doesn’t always understand answered prayer. Like most people seeing answered prayer motivates us to be more intentional. Our goal should be intentionally obedient, not just reluctantly obedient. We should want to pursue His desire for our life, not just accept the inevitable outcome of His power. Being obedient is moving in the direction of perfection.

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Be Audacious and Bodacious

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

When John Lennon became famous, he built a house for his mother near the cliffs of Dover. Over the mantel of the fireplace, he had a brass plaque made with the inscription of something his mother had told him numerous times “Playing the guitar and singing is just fine, John, but you will never be able to make a living at it.” Do you believe that living the life God has planned for you is just fine, but you can’t make a living at it?

I just got back from Honduras. If you haven’t gone to a developing country, I suggest you should. Stay away from the tourist traps and the Michelin Guide and meet the people. They are incredible. I never leave a visit without being inspired by some of the locals. This time I met the teenage twin daughters of our sponsor. Their drive, passion, and understanding of the need to forward the gospel were amazing. Kudos to the parents for raising such courageous and inspiring children, although calling them children is a disservice to these titans of adolescence. They have a lordly vision of who they could be.

One of my childhood’s great quotes was from George Bernard Shaw, given by John F. Kennedy at his inauguration to the Presidency, “Some people see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and ask why not?” Think of the reverse thinking presented by Shaw; why not? Do you look at the challenges to greatness in your life and see them as impediments, roadblocks, and obstacles, or are they stepping stones to the person God made you?

Psalm 127:1, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain.”

In his book Leadership Essentials, George Ogden states, “Godly vision depicts an outcome that may seem outrageous given present reality.” The Bible contains instances when God called ordinary people to do outrageous things. There is nothing wrong with being ordinary, as the world would define it. Being ordinary is the clay used to create greatness in God’s eyes. Noah was not a renowned shipbuilder. Joseph was the youngest and most obnoxious of his siblings. He spent time in jail before he bloomed. Moses even told God he could not lead because he wasn’t good at public speaking. Nehemiah rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem. Mary was the greatest and most ordinary of all.

1 Peter 1:3-4, “He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.”

Becoming the person God has created is not just about your satisfaction but about worshiping God. It is the most profound expression of your faith. It is the crowning glory of God’s creation. Be audacious, energize not only your ambition but the Godly ambition of those around you. Create a tsunami of Godliness.

You can create any life you want for yourself. The God-given talents and resources are yours to use. Wealth, prestige, and status are yours to obtain. But living the life God had planned for you is not about the elevation of individuals and institutions but the exaltation of Christ. Divine vision is an expression of the God of the universe, not man’s attempt to better himself. You can do it your way and achieve some notoriety or worldly success, but it will be buried with you at the end of your time here on earth.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.”

One of the great testimonies of living a life dedicated to God is that you become living proof of the spoken truth that Jesus changes lives. You become a light in the darkness. People are drawn to your example.

There is a Japanese proverb that says vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. Are you living a nightmare? Does your existence lack purpose? Are you achieving some level of success without the reward of meaning? Do you feel you have no reason to be dissatisfied, but you are not satisfied; you’re existing. Clinical psychologist Fredrick Herzberg defines satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Dissatisfiers are hygiene factors like the quality of your environment. Satisfiers are the motivational elements of your life. You can have all the bobbles and trinkets but still not feel motivated. You look at your life and see the trappings of success, but you don’t feel you have made an impact.

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

We long for eternity. It is the hidden drive within us. Only when we look at our accomplishments through the lens of eternity, do we start to understand what satisfies us. What satisfies us is to have a deep relationship with the one who created us. It is to be loved and forgiven and welcomed into His family.

Pray for God’s vision in your life. Think God-sized. Question your decisions. Redefine your future.

John 16:24, “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be complete. “

What three goals have you identified that you can accomplish within the next six months to move you closer to a Godly vision for your existence?

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Moral Insincerity

Proverbs 3:26, “For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.”

I am not your typical reader. I very seldom take information at face value. Typically, I would not pass on an opinion unless I emphasized it was not mine or researched it to assure myself I could defend it. That is why I found this piece of research interesting. Zoe Chance, associate professor of marketing at Yale University, did a study on self-deception. This study showed how ingrained self-deception was.

Romans 12:3, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”

In the study, Ms. Chance first gave two groups of subjects an IQ test. One group was given the test without an answer key; the other had the answer key at the bottom of the test. The group with the answer key did better. The deception comes in when they were asked to retake the test without the answer key and predict their outcome. The second group predicted that the outcome would be the same. They fooled themselves into believing that they had known the answers. Of course, it wasn’t the same; they all did more poorly. Even when the subject group was given a financial incentive for predicting the outcome, they still guessed wrong. The lure of financial gain did not deter them from overstating their performance. In reality, even money could not puncture their inflated self-belief.

There have been several studies on the concept of moral insincerity. They all demonstrate that if we lie to ourselves enough, we begin to see it as a truth. Self-deception allows us to overlook the repercussions on others so that we can believe we are generally acting morally.

“Self-deception means that we can continue to see ourselves as good people” – Uri Gneezy.

I came face to face with this in my life. About a decade ago, I realized that I had inflated my self-worth.  Over the years, I have slowly and methodically enhanced my past. They were all baby steps, no out-and-out lies, just little exaggerations. I was taking historical license to my own story. I crafted the narrative to fit the circumstances. My experience proved that if you do this long enough, you create a person who never existed.  Ah, to be that person.

Hebrews 10:35-36, “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

I am still struggling with undoing the narrative and rediscovering the truth. I try to avoid discussing personal accomplishments so that I may get back to the truth and not confuse people with what I have said in the past; I don’t want to present a false humility. I had to go back into my past documents to rediscover the truth. It had been molded, bent, and compromised to the point I didn’t know it, and it was my life; I lived it.

I don’t think I am alone in wanting to matter. We all want the life we’ve lived to mean something. Earlier in life, I didn’t know what that phrase meant. I thought living a life that meant something was to accomplish material gain or status. Now I understand that the world that God created consists of relationships, not accomplishments. To matter is to have changed a life for the better. It is to allow someone else to stand on your shoulders to reach higher than you could. To be something is to drive an eternal emotion of gratitude from someone else.

I say this as both a confession and an encouragement. God has made us incredible creatures. What we can accomplish seems endless. The beauty, artistry, and creativity He embedded within us is amazing. When we focus on worldly temporal goals and achievements, we limit our true potential. When we focus on changing a life for eternity, we realize our potential.

2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

To accomplish that potential in God’s Kingdom doesn’t require you to be anything more than who you are. The bumps and bruises are the battle ribbons of being human. Falling short yet standing firm is a better story than succeeding. The character of a Godly person accepts failure as a learning experience. The side roads and the rabbit trails are the cautions we pass on that make the next generation stronger.

Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

We spend too much time watching videos of other people’s perfect days and aspiring to live them. Influencers dictate self-view and drive moral insincerity. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among children and adolescents aged 10–14 and adults aged 25–34 years.  In 2020, men died by suicide 3.88x more than women. 

2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

When we start lying to ourselves, we start the destructive process of elevating expectations in others. When we only present the positive side of our life experiences, we subtly teach others that negative experiences are taboos. We don’t deceive ourselves to harm others, we do it to embellish ourselves, but the harm still happens. It creates a slowly eroding sense of worth, of not keeping up.  

Be good to yourself. Love who you are and who God made you. Encourage others that imperfections are what makes us unique. See that when you lie to yourself about who you are, you not only harm your self-perception, you create a false expectation in others.

1 Corinthians 2:3-5, “And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”

Splagchnizomai

Greek: Splagchnizomai (splangkh-nid’-zom-ahee), To have the bowels yearn, be moved with compassion, have compassion (the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of all affections).

In Luke, compassion is described using the Greek word splagchnizomai. Luke is describing Jesus’ compassion for the sinners around Him. It is more than a pragmatic need to help; it is an emotional connection to their condition. Christ didn’t just have compassion for their lives but more profound compassion for their eternal existence.

Matthew 9:36, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

Compassion is the root of God’s purpose for your life. It is through compassion we learn to love. It is through compassion that we act. The challenge is to move compassion from your head to your heart. Many good causes evoke compassion. Who can look away when a small child is hungry? Scenes of poverty elicit a strong sense of compassion and the need to do something.  

James 1:27, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

I want to delve deeper beyond the intellectual understanding of caring for others. God loves us with an indescribable passion not because we deserve it but because He knows we don’t. His love for us is driven by compassion for who we are, not admiration for who we are. He understands that we can never repay Him for His investment in us. His heart is moved by our suffering and wondering.

He needs nothing. It is His very nature to love us altruistically. He is the model for what we should aspire to when we engage others. Our reaction to others shouldn’t be rules-based or environmentally conditioned but a visceral swell from deep within us. It should be a reaction too intense to control.

1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

That is a lot to ask in this chaotic, busy world. We are constantly influenced by people whose agenda requires more time to decipher than we have. We go along to get along, to make it through the day. It is hard enough to show compassion for the ones we love; how do we extend that? How do we slow down our heads so that we can engage others, not just roll over them on our way to the next thing?

“Compassion costs. It is easy enough to argue, criticize, and condemn, but redemption is costly, and comfort draws from the deep. Brains can argue, but it takes heart to comfort.” – Samuel Chadwick.

First, we don’t eat the elephant in one bite. We have to decide who we want to be. The account of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) has two storylines. The first one is the big one we all think about. It is how the father showed compassion for his son upon his return; it is easy to recognize and relate to. The second is subtle and closer to home (v. 28-30). The good son has little compassion for his brother because he feels he has stayed behind and supported his father after the prodigal son left. The good son has this sense of righteous indignation that overshadows compassion. The father’s compassion was splagchnizomai, while the good son’s compassion was rules-based and pragmatic.

Are we the father or the good son? Can we show compassion even when we have been taken advantage of, or do we have rules that we feel are reasonable and correct? To truly love those God has put in front of us is to scrap the rules. We all have a lot of rules. Many of those rules were taught to us by well-meaning individuals who didn’t want to see others take advantage of us. The good son has a plausible argument, but his position lacks genuine compassion.

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

To love the way God intended us to love, we need first to have compassion for those God has sent our way. Like Christ, it can’t be compassion just for their current situation, but compassion for their eternity. Once we start to see people as an extension of their eternal existence, we can start to look past who they are now. We start to see them as God sees them.  Loving someone you will spend in the presence of God for eternity is a lot easier than loving the person who can irritate you with just a look.

In life, it is the journey, not the destination. The destination is a gift through grace. The journey is all the beautiful things God has in store for us as He helps us help others.

Galatians 5:14, “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Standing in the Gap

Ezekiel 22:30, “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one.”

When I read this statement, I couldn’t help but feel sad. Imagine a point in time when you, and only you, stood between total destruction and life for a fellow human being. Think of what is going on in Ukraine, the destruction of property, families, and the destruction of cultures. Think of the lives of unbelievers who desperately need hope and salvation. Think of the most disreputable people in your life who don’t know Christ and imagine them existing for an eternity separated from Christ. Are you the person for which God is looking? Can you stand in the gap?

1 Peter 3:9, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

We live our lives thinking that there will always be another day. We see risk around us, but it doesn’t deter us. We believe we will go on until someday in the distant future when we don’t. If we are honest with ourselves, we live a relative laissez-faire existence. We are so wrapped up in our issues and opportunities that we live a life of non-interference in the affairs of others. We pop in and pop out as time allows.

Romans 5:19, “For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.”

We do good and provide aid when it’s part of our plan. But, even when the moment is spontaneous, the decision to help is deterministic. We weigh the cost-benefit and decide how to spend our time. Time is precious, not to be spent on the undeserving or those who can help themselves but don’t.

2 John 1:6, “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.”

We all have people in our lives that need salvation. Those we love we take on as “projects for their good.” We don’t always recognize that God may be telling us not now or not us. We stand in the gap for someone we love, even when the gap doesn’t exist at the moment. I want to address the person we don’t like because of their demeanor or lifestyle. The person we know is separated from God, but it is their decision, and frankly, we don’t care. We don’t have a personal relationship and don’t want one.

Colossians 4:5-6, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

What I am asking is, if this was your moment to change eternity for someone, even an enemy, would you step into the gap? It kind of sounds like a Jonah question, doesn’t it. Jonah understood who God was and what He could do, but it was the wrong people for him. So he would not stand in the gap for the Ninevites.

One of the lessons I remember from the story of Esther was not just all that she went through as God prepared her for her moment to step into the gap, but when the time arose for her to act, God reminded her that His plan would prevail even if she didn’t do her part. Therefore, even if she does not choose to stand in the gap for those God puts in front of her, God will act. But God will act to her detriment.

Esther 4:14, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” – Thomas S. Monson

We need to live our spiritual lives with a sense of urgency. It is God who saves, not us. But we should want to be part of His plan for others, even those we don’t want in our worldly sphere. They are God’s children, not yours. If you do your part, He will always do His, and even if you don’t, He will.

Stand firm in the gap.

Romans 2:6-8, “God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good, seek glory, honor, and immortality, he will give eternal life.”

The Incredible Answer to Prayer

I leave for Kyrgyzstan today. This is one of the great joys of my life. These are incredible people.

In August of 2021, I wrote the post My Last day in Tokmok. This was a lament. I had worked with three amazing women that had uncertain futures. My last sentence was this, “My selfish prayer is that God’s plan for them will be revealed in a way that brings us both joy.”

God answers prayer in stunning, beautiful, and astonishing ways. One of the women has found the love of her life and gotten married. I get to meet her new husband. Lest you worry, they crossed all the T’s and dotted the I’s. They pursued and received the church’s blessing and, more importantly, her uncle’s blessing. Her uncle is a man of strong faith who takes his guardianship of her seriously.

I head to 22 hours in an airplane looking forward to the journey.