Category: Stones

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Being Our Best

These are historic times. We, as Christians, have an opportunity to lead by example. When others spread discord and rumors, we can spread calm and truth. When others feel anxiety and fear, we can spread hope and courage.

John 14:1, “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.”

As Christians, everything we do either draws others closer to Christ or drives them away. If Christ is Lord over your life, He must be Lord over your everyday relationships. It is at times like this that everyone is watching to see how we react. Do we believe what we believe or is it all a show?

1 John 3:18, “Little children, let us not love with words or with tongue, but with deed and truth.”

One of my challenges is to spend more time looking inward rather than outward. I need to focus on my footprint, not the footprint of others. God commands us to love with deeds. In this time of social distancing that may be more challenging, but not impossible.

Ephesians 4:30, “and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk. Instead be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you”

We are going to spend some time in close quarters. We are going to experience financial pressure from our livelihoods and from our supplier. Toilet paper is now worth more than gold and far scarcer. Hours have been shortened or eliminated altogether. All kids are being home schooled. We are adapting to new ways of communicating. All of this creates stress, stress creates friction, friction creates heat. Sooner or later everyone reaches a boiling point. We have a God that both understands and forgives.

Through His understanding He gives us an inner voice of calm. He constantly reminds us that He and He alone is in control of all things. He will not give us more than we can handle. He will not set us up for failure. Tough times are the exact crucible needed to test our beliefs. It is in tough times we either lean into God or push away. We have been given the perfect situation to prove what we believe and that we know we have a God that can deliver. The moment you are living right now is not a surprise to Him. Plus, He wrote the ending.

1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

But when we do falter, when we do not lean into God as hard as we should, what should we do? One Christian can have a profound negative impact on God’s Kingdom on earth. All of us can inadvertently do this in small ways almost every day. We can join in on the local gossip, or we can speak negatively about others. We do not do our best when given an assignment. We cannot turn our beliefs on and off like a light switch. Every time we do this, a non-believer is listening and watching. It may not even be someone directly involved. It might be someone casually observing from a distance. As professing Christians, we have accepted the obligation to be light and salt in the world.

Psalm 39: 1, “I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.”

We cannot expect ourselves to be perfect; that would be insane. What we should expect of ourselves is to be mindful. When we transgress, recognize it and rectify it. Go back to those whom we harmed, make it right, if possible, and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is not to be back in the injured parties’ good graces; it is to be back into God’s good blessings. After all that God has done for us, should we not be sensitive to how we portray Him to others? We need to show remorse and humility when we do falter as a sign of repentance.

As professing Christians, we have shown a light on who we are and what we believe. Everything we do has an eternal impact on someone. Be mindful. When required, be remorseful and humble, knowing we, too, will meet God’s judgment. Not for our sin, but for what we have done for Christ since we met Him.

2 Timothy 2:15, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

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Success is a Fickle Master

“Every poet and musician and artist, but for grace, is drawn away from the love of the thing he tells to the love of telling it…” – CS Lewis

I was reading CS Lewis’ book, The Great Divorce. This book is a retort to William Blake’s book “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell,” in which Blake expounds on the convergence of good and evil. This passage above pricked my interest. 

The target of this particular statement is a ghost who upon hearing that all artists are equal in Heaven gave in to the sin of vanity because he would not stand out as a well know artist in Heaven. It demonstrates that we can get so caught up in our ability to tell a story or encourage or lend a helping hand, that we forget the intent of doing it in the first place. I have been part of an organization that I eventually had to step back from because it soon became about me and not the organization. I had this belief that I, and only I, had the God-given ability to achieve greatness. I grew to believe that the performance was solely the result of my vision, my ideas, and my tenacity. I started to associate the organization with my self esteem. In my head I became the brand, not the organization. This is a virus that will kill the enthusiasm of every living thing it touches.

Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Success is a fickle master. It will drive us to accomplish great things and, at the same time, takes away that which matters most. As we sprint through life, we forget our destination. God uses our need for validation to keep us on track. Without validation, we feel lost, wandering, burning valuable resources in a lost cause. But God’s validation keeps us on course.

John 5:31, “If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true.”

The Encounter

One of the more surprising rocks in my life came from an encounter over a decade ago. I was volunteering with a prison ministry, Bill Glass’ Champions for Life. It was time-consuming because a weekend event required leaving on a Thursday night. After driving several hours, or even flying to a destination, I checked into a hotel, I would serve through the weekend, and then reverse the process. Many times, as I left home, I wondered if this was the best use of my time. Working with the inmates was tremendous; the journey was arduous. The challenge was that I didn’t know if I was creating lasting change.

This particular weekend I was getting PC work done by a small firm behind Georgia Tech. If you were from Atlanta, you would understand the Inside-Perimeter verse Outside-Perimeter paradox. I’m an outside guy who seldom ventures inside. The business wasn’t in the worst part of town, but it’s not the best either. It was a bleak industrial park close to the old Atlantic Steel Mill property. That property was under construction, producing what now is Atlantic Station, a multi-use commercial-residential-retail community. Getting my PC fixed would take some time, so I went to the corner to a McDonald’s. After parking my car, a man approached me. He was a construction worker from the Atlantic Station project.

First, he apologized for the inconvenience. Then he explained that he had just been hired to work construction next door. He confessed that buying work boots, a hard hat, and other stuff required for the job left him without bus fare until payday. Payday was tomorrow, but that didn’t help today. He only needed a couple of dollars. I had been to the ATM and only had twenty-dollar bills. I was about to give him one when he blurted out that he had been in prison. He wanted full disclosure of the person he had been.

Curious, I asked him what prison. He said Parchman Mississippi, remember we are in downtown Atlanta Georgia. I said I had been in Parchman Farm. “Farm” always seemed an oddity as Parchman Farm was the common name for Mississippi State, the oldest maximum security prison in the Mississippi Correctional System. He looked at me perplexed and asked why? I responded with my story of Champions for Life. He beamed. “Wait, wait,” he said as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet. Out of this worn and cherished piece of cowhide came the Bill Glass Four Spiritual Laws. He was radiant over the discovery that we had a common bond. He regaled me with the story of his conversion and the change it had made in his life. He was animated, happy, almost giddy over it.

I was stunned. I came downtown to get a PC repaired and ran into an encounter with God. I was dumbfounded. The odds were so incredible that they were inconceivable, except for the hand of God. God used this moment to validated my work. He knew what I needed and erased my doubt.

A sidebar on this event was that when I was leaving for home, I saw this same man taking a homeless woman into McDonald’s. He saw me and yelled, “I only needed a couple of dollars, so I am spending the rest on her.” The ripple effect through eternity is breathtaking. 

The Moral

God validates our good works. The risk comes from taking that validation too far. We start thinking that we have some supreme power that makes us indispensable to Christ. That is where CS Lewis’s warning comes in. When we forget who we serve, forget from whence of gifts come, start keeping score, we lose our real sense of purpose. It is always about the people you are sent to serve.

Proverbs 22:4 “The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.”

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Sharing the Richness of our Lives

Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

This is the time of the year when we become introspective. Thanksgiving allows us to think of all of the things for which we are thankful. Christmas is the backdrop for showing love and appreciation. For all who have touched our lives and those we do not know but feel compassion for their plight. New Year’s follows Christmas, a time of renewal. We commit to being a better version of ourselves. We are thankful, appreciative, and fortunate — not all of us.

This rejuvenation brings to light one of my rocks. It is a story bringing my attention to the importance of dwelling on the richness of my life. It reminds me of how important it was sharing that richness with others.

Atlanta has a spring art festival in Piedmont Park. It is a spectacular event both for its content and its setting. The Dogwood Art Festival is in the spring when the dogwoods are in full bloom. Although it runs the entire weekend, I go down early Friday. I like that time; I can talk with the artist as they set up their booths before the crowds arrive. These folks are incredibly skilled. They have an absolute passion for what they do. This passion is reflected both in the quality of their work and the prices they charge. The Dogwood Art Festival is not a mom and pop affair.

This particular year the weather was incredible. Azure blue skies, cumulus clouds that remind you of cotton candy. The gorgeous white and pink dogwoods in full bloom. The temperature was almost non-existent, feeling neither cold or warm, absolutely picturesque. The vendors were excited to show their creations. It was a joy to be alive.

After I had spent some time walking around, I settled comfortably on a picnic bench, not far from vendor row, to watch people. I like watching people. It fills me with curiosity. I was also growing hungry and trying to decide what cardiac inducing meal I was going to eat. It is apparently in the by-laws of art festivals management that healthy food was taboo.

A woman sat down on the bench across that table from me. She was late middle age, conservatively dressed, unremarkable in many ways. The kind of person you might see in a crowd without ever really seeing her, that perfect blend of human camouflage. She said, “I could live a year on the price of one of these things.” Without looking, I agreed.

Psalm 9:1, “I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.”

God has this incredible way of introducing me to the exact person with whom He wants me to engage. One thing led to another, and we started talking. I bought her lunch. One great lady, she was living in a half-way house after being released from prison. Life had been long and hard and disappointing. That once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that could have taken her life in a different direction was always just outside her reach. The hurdle in her life was guys. They came into her life at the wrong time with mischievous intent.

There was a determination and grit in her outlook. She had a vision, but no plan to get there. It wasn’t a grand vision. It was a vision to become normal. You know, 40-hour workweek, home, friends and maybe family. Everyone has a unicorn; this was hers. If anything, I am a guy with a plan. Our meeting wasn’t serendipity or coincidence; it was part of God’s plan for her.

We started talking about God’s plan for her life. God’s plan was for her to prosper. But she had to be willing to surrender her plan for His. He would be faithful in His promise if she would. The first step was to find a church that had good scripture-based teaching. Then she needed to join an accountability group within that church that she could trust. We talked for about 90 minutes. She was positive, engaged, and asked questions.

The transformation I saw was that she sat more upright. Her face softened. Her eyes were brighter, more focused. She stated that she knew her plan didn’t work. She had heard the message of Christ in prison. It was something she felt she needed to look into further, but she always put it off. She knew of a church that had members she knew. They came by the half-way house. She liked them; they weren’t pushy.

Others plowed the field and planted the seeds in her life; I was fertilizer (be nice; it’s a metaphor). The harvest will come.

1 Corinthians 9:10 “Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest.”

Did she find her unicorn? I don’t know. I do know that God wants me to not only be obedient for the sake of others, but to share the bounty of His love for me with them.

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It may seem Strange, but it is Quite Amazing

Every once in awhile, I think about how I got here. Not the incredible odds of being born in one of the most abundant countries on the face of the earth. How did I get here, where I am sitting right now? It may seem a strange thought, but it is quite amazing.

 In 1966 I was a sixteen-year-old high school student living in Marseilles, a very small Midwest town. I was not extraordinary in any sense of the word. I spent very little time thinking about my future, that is the future after high school. I had a lot of thoughts about high school. I knew about jobs; I had already had a few of those. The concept of a career was foreign. So how did that kid, end up here?

 If you had told me that I not only would graduate from college, but I would do it more than once. I would have told you I’m not bright enough for that. How about travel? Not only will you leave Marseilles and the state, but you will also leave the country. You will log over 3 million miles on airlines alone, covering six continents. Before it is over, you will have hundreds of people reporting to you. You will work for big companies and even start some of your own.

You will never live in Marseilles again. I would have been terrified and sadden, that last part especially. It was my world, and to this day, my home. To even write it forty years later, saddens me. 

 God sent me on a journey. Although I felt in control most of my life, I wasn’t. Oh, I could make decisions. I could choose not to do what was best for me, and believe me; I did at times. But interestingly, all that wandering in the wilderness still brought me to right here.

Job 12:24, “He deprives of intelligence the chiefs of the earth’s people And makes them wander in a pathless waste.”

Volume One: “The Pagan Era”

There are three volumes to the book of my life. The first is “The Pagan Era.” Although I was baptized around nine years old at the Marseilles Baptist Church, I don’t think it took. The first third of my life was covered by doing the thing in front of me. It got me through adolescence into young adulthood. God was there, someone had to have created all of this, but after He finished, he was done. He wasn’t a micromanager. He put it all in play and then sat back and watched. How else could you explain all the dysfunctionality in the world?

 Volume Two: “The Age of Enlightenment”

1 Corinthians 1:27, “but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,”

Volume One ended with a divorce and a pacemaker, a stone in my memorial. We experience the natural repercussion of our actions. Now is the start of Volume Two, I call “The Age of Enlightenment.” I turned back to my roots. I started to read the Bible. I didn’t go to church at this time. Church people seemed hypocritical in their approach to others outside the church. They always seemed to know what was best for everyone else.

 The revelation was that the Bible made sense at a very practical level. God created us to function in a given way. The Bible laid that out nicely. I started to see that if I could be a perfect version of myself, my life would improve. It might not improve materially, because my life was pretty good materially, I would improve emotionally. My life was an emotional desert. With all of my worldly success, I felt alone and anxious. There still was a void where my passion should have been. I wasn’t living for anything in particular. I just was. 

 The image I have of my life at this point comes from a science fiction movie. The astronaut escapes from his rapidly disintegrating ship. His capsule is thrust out into the vast black void of outer space; it is endless and ominous. He is alive with limited life support and no destination. Drifting aimlessly until it all ends. 

I came  to the understanding that God loved me intimately. So much so, that He died on the cross for my sins. He wanted a personal relationship with me. But to what end?

 After reading the Bible through every year for several years, I decided I needed another point of view. I started going to church. I went to several of them until I found a Bible teaching, non-denominational church that I enjoyed. They taught directly out of the Bible, no condemnation, just truth. Some of that truth was hard to swallow, but I was here to learn. September 11 put a temporary end to my travels, so I joined a local Bible study geared to the technology industry.

Volume Three “The Age of Truth”

 1 John 3:17, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”

Interaction with other Christians breathed life into my existence. This started Volume Three, “The Age of Truth”. Henri Poincare said, “Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house, and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.” This idea is my spiritual revelation. My head was full of facts, but that didn’t make me a Christian. It made me a good guy with good intentions. 

 For the very first time in my life, I understood it was never about me. Everything I had, have, or will have, is to be shared with others. My job, my time, my money all belonged to God for His use. I could never be good enough to earn my reward. I should then spend the rest of my life rewarding others.

 Serving others was insanely freeing. There was a purpose. It was surprising how quickly I embraced this idea. There was an explosion in my consciousness. All of a sudden, I got it. 

 At one point, I gave away everything, and I do mean everything. It became one of the stones in my memorial. I would not recommend it without intense prayer and competent counsel. It is a big ask, and God reserves it for the most important of assignments. I just happen to have one. God rewarded me with a sense of incredible peace. He has also done a great job of restoring me. It wasn’t just a stone; it has become my Gibraltar. 

We are all on a journey. The question is, “Where are you going?” God knows the answer if you will allow Him to direct your steps. My experience is; that it is freeing at a level that few experience. To be “Christ Like” is our purpose, our passion is how we live our purpose.

Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

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My Father’s Passing

This post is off topic but important to me.

Last night one of the most influential people in my life passed away. It was my father, he was 93, and he was an absolutely incredible man — one of those once in a century type people. To his last days, he still charmed those to whom he talked, even when his dementia clouded the memory of who they were from his mind.

I don’t want to bore you with my complete admiration of who he was.  I do want to reveal some of his lessons to me. He taught me the most important lesson you should learn about commitment was not keeping it; this was absolute, but when and how to make it in the first place.  If one makes the right commitment, maintaining it is easy. Once you commit, you keep it no matter how high the cost. That is why making it is more important than keeping it. It is in the making that you set the stage for keeping.

He taught me that life was not meant to be fair or just, but there is still a joy to be found. Finding joy in life requires you to look past the pain and disappointment to see the learning and the progress. Falling and failing were part of the process and didn’t define who you are.

Work was a life long endeavor. Finding your passion was critical for sustaining this effort. Passion changed work into joy. It was something in which you took pride. You cannot sustain satisfaction in an endeavor without a passion for it.

I learned that the most crucial thing in life is love. He was not a man to hug or kiss or even say I love you. He was a man who showed it and lived it every day. Actions were the foundation of character, not words. From this man married to my mother for 72 years, I learned a love that was profound and indescribable. That love brings me great pain today. He was my rock and my castle on a hill; he was all that I hoped to be. He made me proud to be his son.

He rode the rails as a migrant worker at 15. He lied about his age and went to war at 17. Without a high school diploma, he passed his college boards and soon graduated a civil engineer. Throughout college, he studied, worked full time as a bartender at night, and supported three kids and a wife — all of this he did with a sense of passion, purpose, and obligation.

He will be greatly missed by me.

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PATRICK DAY

Who was Patrick and why do you care?

Patrick Day was a 27-year-old boxer who died of a brain injury in a boxing match on October 14th of this year. “Patrick Day didn’t need to box,”…. “He came from a good family, he was smart, educated, had good values and had other avenues available to him to earn a living.” … “It’s how he inspired people and it was something that made him feel alive.” That is who he was, now why do you care? “Many people live much longer than Patrick’s 27 years, wondering if they made a difference or positively affected their world. This was not the case for Patrick Day when he left us.”

Can people say that about you? Can they say that about me?

I have another short story about one of my stones. I think I may have mentioned that in my early years I was somewhat driven. Actually, I was bullet proof and invisible. I did everything in excess. One of my excesses was running 10 miles a day rain, sleet or shine. It was an endorphin high and an obsession. In the spring of my 30th year I started getting tunnel vision around 4 to 5 miles. I would walk a few steps; it would go away and I would continue running. As it was spring and I wanted to ramp up my running, I went to the doctor to see if I could take something to get rid of this inconvenience.

The inconvenience put me in the hospital for a few days as they ran a complete battery of test to determine the problem. All they knew for sure was that it had something to do with my heart and from the initial signs it was much more dangerous than tunnel vision. They couldn’t find the source. I was told to back off on all exercise. Basically, I was told to sit in a rocking chair and find a good book. As a 30-year-old I needed to act like I was 90. As I mentioned, I was bullet proof and invisible. This is a minor setback. It will go away. They’ll give me a pill and poof, back to normal. …. But, not so much….

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and no real progress. The problem was getting worse. More tests, maybe this, maybe that… no real answer. I started out with a partial heart block that was slowly turning into something worse.

Then one day

I’m living alone in my apartment watching TV when it happened. Prolonged tunnel vision. The protocol was to call my cardiologist for instructions. Dr. Wickliffe (Charles) was a friend before he was my doctor.

Me “Charles, tunnel vision, kind of long this time.”

Charles “stop doing what you are doing and relax.”

Me “I’m lying on the couch doing nothing, the only thing I can stop doing is breathing.”

Charles “I have a full schedule tomorrow come see me before the office opens, say around 7:30.”

Waiting is not my strong suit, so I decided to go to bed, get up early and see Charles in the morning. What I am going to tell you next is real. I can still see it in my minds eye. It still scares me today. I woke up in the middle of the night looking at myself lying in bed. I was on the ceiling looking down. That was me in the bed. I was awake. My body slowly slid down the wall and onto the bed. I was now looking at a blank ceiling. I laid there drenched with sweat, my heart was jumping out of my chest and I was terrified. I had never experienced anything even close to this in my life and I had no idea what it meant.

Options, what are my options? Stay here alone and maybe die in the night? Not good. I could go to the hospital across the street from Charles’ office and wait for him. Better idea, but how. It’s only a few blocks away (I was living in mid-town at the time), I could walk. Not good, most of it is up hill and would put a strain on my heart. Then I would die in the middle of the street alone and at night. I know, I could drive, but that would put other motorist in potential danger. Idiot, it is the middle of the night, what other motorist? Drive it is.

I walked into the emergency room at Piedmont Hospital around 2 A.M. I really don’t know what I am doing other than I want to be around other people. I don’t want to be alone. This whole thing had become rather confusing. I found a chair and made myself comfortable until Dr. Wickliffe shows up at 7:30. Well as it would turn out, they don’t allow people to “hang out” in the emergency room. The night nurse said “Hey, you’re in or you’re out, choose” … I’m in.

They put me in a small observation room, hooked up an EKG and watched for a while. All’s cool, I’m safe and in good hands. I had a male nurse; he left the room for a few minutes and comes back with a defibrator. For those of you who don’t know what a defibrator is, it’s a heart shock devise. I worked my way through undergraduate in surgery at a hospital. I’ve seen a lot of defibrators and I know what they do.

Me “curiosity, whatcha got that for?”……

nurse “well your heart has stopped three times since you got here. Don’t worry Dr. Wickliffe is on the way.”… que dramatic music….

At this point my brain didn’t have thoughts, it only had half sentences. I think it was oscillating between my natural positive attitude and outright panic. Thank goodness Charles showed up to stabilize my attention. He assured me that everything was going to be fine. I did the right thing…. Yada, yada, yada… I don’t think I was listening. My brain was still having its own convoluted dialog.

Job 33:4 “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life”

BAM… I hit my head…. Bright lights…. What…. A man in a white mask says, “it’s going to be alright”. My heart had stopped in mid-sentence in the emergency room and they took me directly to surgery. I hit my head as a reaction to them starting my heart back. It was an emergency, they didn’t follow standard protocol, there was no time. In post-op I sat there looking at this big box taped to my arm. It had a blinking red light. Charles said it was my temporary pacemaker. Because of my age they had to order a special pacemaker and it would be here the next day. I had to go back to surgery to have it implanted. But I was and will be fine.

What does all this have to do with Patrick Day? God was extremely compassionate with me. He gave me another chance to be the man he wanted me to be. Patrick was already that man.

The rest of the night I watched that blinking red light. That was my life, it was my future, it was everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t…yet. It took me over a year to get used to the fact I was dependent on an electrical devise implanted in my chest. I was no longer bullet proof or invisible. I was human. It made me look at the past and project it forward. I didn’t like the picture. For the first time in decades I picked up a bible and started to read.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

I wasn’t there yet, but the search had begun. I missed my chance at being Patrick Day, but I could find a way of becoming Tomme Stevenson.

2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

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