Ephesians 4: 29-32, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
THE PROBLEM
This last year has been a year in which people seem to have lost the ability to have a civil conversation with those with whom they disagree. We have become a culture in which saying what is on our mind is more important than understanding why others think differently. Our culture is starting to take this divisiveness to a new level; it has become visceral for some. It is no longer a philosophical difference; it has taken on a emotional repulsion that others would dare think the way they do. We have lost our guiding light.
Judges 21:28, “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”
In Ephesians, Paul points out that we sometimes forget that in everything we do, do it as if we were talking directly to God. When our emotions start to take over our common sense and our brain disconnects from our mouth, would we dare speak to God how we are talking to each other?
Ephesians 6:6-7, “And do this not only to please them while they are watching, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve with good will, as to the Lord and not to men”
There is a lot of craziness going around. Some of the ideas are unbelievable. Christians, which should be looking to Christ first, are now following their favorite Social Media Influencer. Years ago, we used to laugh at the comment “If it is on the internet it must be true.” It was a joke. There are now people who believe if their favorite internet personality said something, that person exhaustively researched it, and facts back it up. Most of the time, these influencers are doing nothing more than feeding their followers. Growing followers is how they make money. The more controversy they stimulate, the more advertising dollars they earn. Loyal followers are their cash cows. They engage their audience emotionally first, intellectually second. If I can hook you emotionally, you are less likely to question my intellectual logic; you want my argument to be valid.
APPROACHING OTHERS
Galatians 5:22-23, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
As a Christian, who should always speak the truth, how do I approach these discussions? First of all, what you say or do reflects who you are, not who they are. They can be as crazy as they like, but you must stay true to your beliefs. It is having that level of integrity that will ultimately win the day. We are responsible for our actions, not the actions of others. So, I would suggest you approach this delicately. Try to avoid flashpoints that will ramp up emotions. Try not to challenge their beliefs, but ground your comments on spiritual truth. Never make the conversation a personal attack.
Proverbs 11:3, ” The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”
We should have a grace like rain falling from an empty sky on a hot summer day; unexpected and refreshing.
Ephesians 4: 2-3 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
I have to be honest with you; I find most of these conversations to have no earthly or spiritual value. Someone is either proposing a future action that they have little, if any, control over or speculating on a past story that cannot be proven; It is an opinion, nothing more. God will lead the outcome regardless of our opinion. At the end of the day, what you or I think of the future has little actual meaning. God knows the future; we do not.
Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
We should approach these conversations with compassion. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, what is God’s play in all of this? Will this conversation bring both parties closer to or farther away from God? Other than the sinful by-products like anger, bitterness, or rage, how does this discussion impact their salvation? Most do not. The real risk is in the sinful by-products. Those are the sins that will make it harder to have a genuine relationship with God. Those are the sins we should help avoid.
APPROACHING OURSELVES
Although I firmly believe that we have an obligation to others to help ramp down the level of angry discourse, I also think that we need to look inward. How many times are we emotionally hijacked by what someone else believes? How many times do we walk away from a conversation angry or upset? How long does that conversation echo through your brain until it starts to affect other conversations you have that day?
Ephesians 4:14, “Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.”
The foundation of all thought must be a faith that God uses all things for His good. That we can have peace in all situations because God is in control. God’s plan may not be our plan, His plan is better than our plan. I may believe that something is evil and should never be allowed to exist. Its very existence upsets me. God knows this and has a plan to deal with it; His timing may not be our timing. His actions may not be our actions. But God will prevail.
Don’t let other people write your narrative. Remember who you signed up to serve.
2 Timothy 2:4 “No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer.”
