I leave for Kyrgyzstan today. This is one of the great joys of my life. These are incredible people.
In August of 2021, I wrote the post My Last day in Tokmok. This was a lament. I had worked with three amazing women that had uncertain futures. My last sentence was this, “My selfish prayer is that God’s plan for them will be revealed in a way that brings us both joy.”
God answers prayer in stunning, beautiful, and astonishing ways. One of the women has found the love of her life and gotten married. I get to meet her new husband. Lest you worry, they crossed all the T’s and dotted the I’s. They pursued and received the church’s blessing and, more importantly, her uncle’s blessing. Her uncle is a man of strong faith who takes his guardianship of her seriously.
I head to 22 hours in an airplane looking forward to the journey.
Psalm 149:4, “For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation”
In his book “The Heart of Christ,” Thomas Goodwin states, “Christ’s joy, comfort, happiness, and glory are increased and enlarged by His showing grace and mercy, in pardoning, relieving and comforting His members on earth.”
Aside from the question of how can a God who is holy, eternal, almighty, and self-sufficient can increase in anything? How can this God that suffers no lack, knows no limitation, and experiences no deficiency be enlarged? Aside from that, we know that God delights in us asking Him for anything. The very act of asking means we have brought Him into the equation; we have thought of Him.
Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
‘I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.’ From “The Rose Garden” (circa 1259) written by the Persian poet Sa’di.
I need to do what I can, and He will do what I can’t; I need to prioritize my requests. Some problems and needs are just too small for a mighty God. I should not whine and snivel; others have it worse than me. I need to get away from the concept that God is limited in His ability to answer prayer.
We are conditioned to optimize resources, and we see God as one of those resources, thus making God into our image. When we put constraints on God, we do not constrain Him but constrain what we ask of Him. We limit His impact on our lives by limiting His involvement.
God has unlimited wealth; we, the global eternal Christian community, can not exhaust His resources. His world works in infinite parallel processes that are not limited by the volume of requests; we don’t wait in line or queue up for help. He has no supply chain issues.
FOUR REASONS WE DON’T APPROACH GOD
Believing sadness disappoints God
Our Sin Leaves Us Feeling Unworthy
The need to be in control
Hard seasons disqualify us from God’s promises
Believing Sadness Disappoints God
Hebrews uses the word “sunpathesai,” which means cosuffer. The implication is that once we are God’s children, he sympathizes with what we are going through. He is not disappointed in the muck and mire of our lives; He is sympathetic. I have said this more times than I care to count; we live in a fallen world, God knows this. God is compassionate that there are days when we feel we are drowning. What brings Him joy is when we turn to Him during those times. It is when we get comfort from laying our head on His chest to listen to His heartbeat; those are the moments He cherishes.
Our Sin Leaves Us Feeling Unworthy
John Piper made this statement, “The power by which you daily strive to overcome the imperfections in your life is the confidence that you are already perfect.” Because of Christ, we believe in Him and what He did on the cross and His perfect life. We believe in Him, and by faith, God unites us to Christ. His perfection is counted as ours. It is the devil who wants you to feel inadequate, not God.
We ask God from the desires of our hearts, and He gives us what we need. What we need may not be what we desire. You are the source of His joy, comfort, happiness, and glory. He created you to have communion with Him. So don’t start believing that just because you didn’t get what you prayed for, God treated you as unworthy. No, He gave you something better, and you didn’t recognize it.
John 6:37, “Whoever comes to me I will not cast out.”
Talk to God about everything. He loves to hear the sound of your voice. You can not exhaust Him or bore Him.
The Need to Be in Control
Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Whether you are willing to accept it or not, you are not and never have been in control. Even if you do not believe in Christ, you still are not in control. Believing is not a condition put on the creator of the universe.
We are His body, His body which He is concerned over; its health and wellbeing. He does not want His body to suffer needlessly. Pain is an indicator in the human body; we immediately want to understand it and relieve it when we feel pain. Sin indicates to the Spirit that something wrong in the Christian body that needs to be understood and fixed. That is God’s domain which no human can control.
1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
Hard Seasons Disqualify Us From God’s Promises
Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines relationship as “the quality or state of being related, a continuing attachment or association between persons.”
But what makes for a genuine, long-lasting friendship? If you’re fortunate, it is a mix of shared interests, shared values, commitment, loyalty, and kindred spirits. Would you consider a friend, indeed a friend, if they disappeared every time you found yourself in a bind? Would you abandon your friends in their time of need?
Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Hard seasons are the very aspect of life that God most wants to share with you. The hard times are God’s forte. Therefore, we need to condition ourselves that when we feel insufficient, unworthy, or out of control, that is the best time to chat with God. He will surprise you with what He knows.
Jeremiah 9:24, “but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.”
Always remember this:
1 John 3:1-3, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure?”
Mark 16: 17-18, “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”
Does our expectations put a fence around answered prayer?
PRAYER
Let me start with a short story on the power of answered prayer. On the very first visit to a prison, God helped me better understand answered prayer. I went with Champions for Life, and I was in Broad River Correctional, Columbia, SC. I was standing next to the rail overlooking the cellblock below me. I was in this particular location to avoid speaking to the inmates. I was uncomfortable because it was my first visit, and I didn’t feel I had anything to share. So, I was hiding in plain sight. I was there without really being there.
My thoughts were on a hundred things without landing on anything, fleeting moments of clarity that dissipated like the fog in the morning sun. I know they were there, without knowing what they were. Then I heard, “I have been praying for weeks that my lawyer would find a way to get me out of here.” This inmate had settled next to me, without making eye contact with me, and started talking to me. You see, he wasn’t a Christian, but he thought he would try out prayer. He didn’t expect anything, but he had hope. I was a Christian; maybe I knew the answer.
Jeremiah 29:12, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
The good news was that this was a conversation that didn’t require scripture memorization. This inmate didn’t know scripture. He had no preconceived theology. He didn’t even know if he had the right to expect a result. He just made a statement. New evidence came to light that proved his innocence. But getting released was a process, not an event. A lawyer had taken his case and was working on his release. For two months, the inmate hadn’t heard a thing. That had to be incredibly depressing; to know you are innocent and shouldn’t be in prison, the release would come from outside the walls, and you were stuck inside.
I can’t remember the exact conversation as none of the words were mine. It went something like this; there was evidence to be reviewed, docket to be cleared, maybe hearts to be softened, liability to be assessed; God’s time is not our time. I remember his response; “Thank you, I prayed for encouragement, and He sent it through you.” That floored me. I couldn’t remember what I said; how could it have been encouraging.
1 John 5:15, “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”
What I took away from that weekend was to wait upon the Lord. I’m impatient, get it done, execution is everything type of guy. Ideas are a dime-a-dozen; success comes from following through. With my first visit to a prison, my challenge was that I wanted to be a great success the first time out. I wanted God to provide me with immediate fulfillment. I didn’t see this first visit as a step toward a new destination; it was the new destination. I fall into this trap all the time. I’m impatient about God’s plan for my life. Everything is significant, and I want to know why. I want instant feedback to confirm I am on the right path.
How do these seemingly false starts keep me on the right path? Why hasn’t this person or that person responded the way I thought they should? Why has nothing happened when I have worked so hard? I am waiting on the evidence that God is with me.
Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
FIG TREE
The second I ask, God answers. When Jesus saw the fig tree without fruit, he cursed it. But it did not die right away.
Mark 11:12-14, “The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.”
Mark 11:20, “In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots.”
The fig tree died from the root. It started dying the second it was cursed, but the evidence wasn’t clear until the following day. God answers prayer the second we ask, but it may be some time before we see the fruit of that blessing. My impatience saps the joy out of that blessing. Sometimes when I don’t get what I want, when I want it, I stop looking and miss the gift altogether.
All of us have had situations that we have prayed about for years. We may not have prayed for a specific resolution, just that one happens. We want God’s will to be done. It ebbs and flows like the tide crashing over the shore; good days followed by bad days followed by good days—every fiber of our being screams out to give up. Finally, we’re tired of it all. But a small, meek voice always cautions us to be patient; one day, God will reveal His plan. One day.
God may send someone to encourage you, He may not, but the blessing is already happening. Know that it is happening and know that God is faithful in all things.
Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Matthew 6:31-33, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
WORRY, WORRY, WORRY
We all have worries; we all have concerns for the future. Uncertainty is the killer. It is the one thing that we, as humans, have the most trouble dealing with. Some of us are more risk-averse than others, but we all hate uncertainty.
Most of us save for retirement. If we have children, we save for education and weddings. If we are prudent savers, we have savings for household emergencies, vacations, and medical problems. We are concerned about our health, our jobs, and our loved ones. As humans, we are constantly trying to look into the future to anticipate uncertainty.
It is tough for us to put our futures in the hands of the One who created us; the same entity that predestined our future. Yet, he is the same superpower that sees all things, knows all things, and loves us unconditionally.
John 14:1, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs tells us that we need these things: Physiological, Safety, Love and Being, Esteem, and Self-Actualization. First, we needed to take care of our physical being with air, food, and water; then, we needed to protect ourselves from danger, including clothes, sleep, and warmth. After we are feed and safe, we turn to love and being loved, including friendship, intimacy, and acceptance by others. Only then did we care about our emotional well-being. Only then do we care about growing as a person and improving ourselves. The lower-level needs, when unmet, prove to be dissatisfiers; in that, we satisfy them to avoid unpleasantness. The higher-level needs stem from a desire to grow and become more. Some people can become unbalanced in that their hierarchy changes order; for example, someone may need esteem more than love. There are many cases where some cultures put much more weight on the higher levels over the lower levels. For example, they would sacrifice food and safety to be seen as valuable or improve their social position. Whatever the case, when life becomes uncertain, we struggle.
When we don’t know where the next meal will come from or have a safe place to sleep, life becomes stressful. In first-world nations, we seldom worry about existence levels of food and safety and worry more about our positional existence. We worry about our place in society, how nutritious our food is, how good our neighborhood is, and how secure our job is. Many a marriage has broken up because one party or the other wasn’t pulling their weight, providing for the basic level needs of the other; physiological and safety trumps love.
Luke 12:22b-23, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.”
Interestingly, most people are more concerned about what other people think of them than what they feel about themselves; their self-view is a derivative of their worldview. They need to sense that they are valued by others more than it is to have personal growth. Only when they are secure in their view of how others see them, do they turn to personal growth. True satisfaction in life can only begin once we believe we are valuable and start to grow as a person.
HOW DO WE FLIP THE SCRIPT?
Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I’m not much of a prosperity gospel kind of guy. I’m a guy who believes that God sometimes gets involved with tough love. Faith that our prayers will be answered is more about seeing God’s results than obtaining our results. Sometimes the outcome of prayer is not what we ask for but what we need. And as my dad might say, “sometimes that is a swift kick in the pants.” I believe certainty comes from knowing that God has your best interest in mind, not from getting everything you think you need.
Matthew 13:22, “The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.”
I get caught in this trap; I tell God exactly what I need to solve the problem the way I see it. Fortunately, God’s view is much greater than my view. Most of the time, the immediate crisis has long-term implications that I cannot begin to understand. So I try to remember that there is a ripple effect through eternity in all things.
Luke 12:24, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!”
Flipping the script on uncertainty is not believing that God loves you; it is knowing that He does. Overcoming uncertainty is knowing that it is only uncertain to you, not God. The book “When Helping Hurts” talks about rescuing someone relieves a temporary situation but robs the person of valuable skills needed to survive long term. Helping a person use their available resources to help themselves, builds the person up and creates confidence to survive. Sometimes we want to be rescued when what we need is to be helped.
EVERYDAY MIRACLES
My comfort does not rest so much in believing as it does in knowing. How the problem will be solved is not as important as knowing that God will solve it; in His time and in His way. I will see the solution only if I know that He always answers prayer. I have seen and experienced miracles disguised as everyday activities. I have seen problems solved by people finding things they thought were long lost. I’ve seen and heard of overdue promotions and pay raises coming when the person needed it most. I know people who got a short-term gig when they were unemployed, that got them through until they found a permanent job. I had seen disenfranchised family members come together when the need arose; I have seen fear erased with a hug, a kind word, or a knowing glance. I have seen broken hearts mended by a new puppy. None of this looked like manna from heaven; it wasn’t the parting of the Red Sea. But, all of this, by the grace of God, is answered prayer.
1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The One who fears is not made perfect in love.”
The cure for uncertainty is not having a crystal ball that shows us the future; it is living with the knowledge that God cares. God is not capricious or arbitrary; He is constant, unchangeable, and passionately in love with you.
