Apathy Archives - Tomme Stevenson

Invisible, the opposite of Love is Apathy I sometimes feel invisible. By nature, I’m a worker bee. I prefer to stay in the background. When the spotlight is on me, I’m uncomfortable. I find it hard to accept a compliment. To me, it’s not about humility; it’s about being truthful. It’s not about lacking self-confidence; it’s about being realistic. I am who I am: nothing extraordinary. I can do what God created me to do.

Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Life

So for a guy who likes to live in the shadows, why is invisibility a problem? I struggle with that question. I don’t want fame or recognition for greatness. A couple of decades ago, I changed my life significantly. Up to that point, my life was about me. Not in a selfish way, but in a determined one. I wanted to be the best version of me I could be. I would outwork anyone to achieve that goal. It wasn’t about money, position, or fame; it was about self-respect.

Philippians 2:4: “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Then one day, God said, “Stop.” He wanted me to realize that life was never about me. It has always been about the people God puts in my path. I was to use all the resources God gave me — intelligence, relationships, experiences, and knowledge — to help others. That lifted an immense weight off my shoulders. I was no longer responsible for results, only for obedience. It was freeing beyond words.

Living in the Shadows

I stepped into the background and have lived there ever since. I like it here. I can do my thing unnoticed. I can create my own version of self-actualization by living vicariously through others’ achievements. The greatest joy of my life is watching others bloom. Every day, I have the joy and privilege of watching people younger than me begin the journey toward becoming the person God always intended them to be. Some of these people are in their twenties.

I think this is the turning point for me. At the same time, I get to see young people experimenting with life, the excitement of discovery, and the joy of becoming. On the other hand, I know they must learn from disappointment and loss.

1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.”

In the middle of this, I get lost. I fade so far into the background that even the shadows forget I’m there. Most of my life, this is OK, even preferred. But not always.

Apathy verse Silence

I don’t know how to present this without sounding at some level arrogant or egotistical. It is not that at all. I have lived an incredible life, with all its ups and downs, knowing how difficult it is to juggle family, work, and community. I understand why I am not the center of anyone’s universe. We are all planets, part of our own solar systems, spinning through one of many galaxies. Life is complex.

1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

My downward spiral begins when I forget that silence is not apathy. Many people trying to survive in the chaos of everyday life are silent, not because they don’t care, but because they are distracted. There is a lot to do when becoming something. Figuring out who you should be and how to achieve that goal is time-consuming. Background noise is drowned out by the cacophony of sounds coming from the moment.

Being Seen Again

We all go through moments of feeling lost. It is part of the rhythm of life. As you grow older, you experience this more often. What these people are accomplishing in their lives is something I envy. It took me forty years to learn what they already know. I want to be part of their orbit. When I am not, I feel invisible.

That is, until we meet face-to-face. Then we see each other for who we are and rejoice in that knowledge. The cloak of invisibility falls away, and I am me again. We talk about lives lived, victories won, and the scars left by learning.

Silence is seldom apathy. Sometimes it’s just life being life.

Proverbs 12:25: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

The Sound of Silence

Silence is rarely silent. Often, it is louder than the surrounding voices. When we sit back and allow contrary and even destructive voices to drown out the voices of compassion, our silence becomes a statement. It reflects who we are and who we choose to be: apathetic.

Zechariah 7:9: “Show kindness and compassion to one another.”

When we turn away from someone in need and ignore those struggling to survive or be recognized, our inaction resonates louder than words. It suggests that their lives are less significant than ours. We proclaim that our chaotic, confusing, and busy existence is more valuable than compassion or grace, as if their stories matter less than ours.

“Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise.” ― Aaron Ben-Ze’ev

The Sound of Apathy

Silence is rarely silent. Not offering a kind word or an act of compassion often does more harm than harsh words. It leaves the other person feeling invisible and without value. Some argue that anger is better than apathy because at least anger still involves feeling. Apathy, however, is a void; it’s the absence of love, empathy, and connection.

Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”

The powerful aspect of compassion is that it transforms us. When we choose to see others and enter their lives, we begin to perceive a richer, more understanding world. We come alive by helping others feel alive. That’s not a burden—it’s a gift. Silence eats away at the core of who God made us. It degrades the essence of who we are, created in His image.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia.

The Sound of God’s Whisper

Silence drowns out the whisper of God’s love calling us to action. God doesn’t force us to care; He doesn’t demand action. He gently whispers through love, inviting us to respond not out of obligation but out of gratitude. Loving others isn’t a requirement for earning God’s love—it’s a result of receiving it.

Proverbs 11:17. “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”

Yes, life is demanding. We have schedules to keep, responsibilities to manage, and our wounds to heal. But the challenge isn’t whether we’ll face obstacles; it’s whether we’ll rise above them. Whether we’ll choose the path of love, even when it’s inconvenient. Life will offer you the rationalization needed to move on in silence. But is that God’s nature? God never chose silence when we were in need. He gave His son that we may live. And if we want to reflect His heart, neither can we.

Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Tag: Apathy

I Sometimes Feel Invisible. Silence Verse Apathy