Surviving the Act of Caring

Surviving the act of caring is exhausting. The Bible teaches us to care for those around us, but at what cost? Most of us tabulate the cost in time or money; what must I give of myself to advance the well-being of another? My experience is that the long-term cost is emotional. It is living with the knowledge that the world is not a fair place. It is coping with the knowledge that we are only making a small dent in an enormous injustice.

Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

Surviving the act of caring requires us to rationalize suffering. I struggle with staying awake at night and replaying my conversations with people in need. I try to understand the genesis of their environment. Where did this dystopia start? Why does it still exist? How can we, as caring, feeling people, allow this to continue? I engage with individuals living in the 21st century who lack access to basic utilities like running water in their homes. In their environment, criminal groups operate with impunity, free from the constraints of law enforcement, leaving the population vulnerable to government abuses and the influence of power-hungry individuals.

I am Only One

“I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”. ― Edward Everett Hale

I am but one person. I ponder these questions in the dark of the night when my mind will not rest. Am I doing enough? Is what I’m doing even significant?

We learn from the Bible that we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. There is no magic number of who we weep or rejoice with. God does not set a specific quota for us to fulfill; our sole responsibility is obedience, which comes with a cost. It also has a reward.

Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

The reward is knowing we have done what God has placed before us. We have set aside our comfort to embrace those less fortunate. God requires that believers reflect His glory toward others. Christ suffered and died for us; what are we willing to do for others? The time I spend with these people is a great joy; it gives me hope for the future of humanity. In their present situation, they praise God for all they have. Most of my neighbors don’t see God in anything they claim as theirs. Who is worse off, the impoverished who rely on God or the wealthy with pride in their accomplishments?

Matthew 13:49, "So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous."

I am not God.

I lose sleep because I am not God, I can’t speak righteousness into existence. Because I am not God, I can not command the earth to provide for its poor. I must trust that all that is and will be is the providence of the creator of the universe. My place is to be obedient to His call. And in that obedience, I will be protected.

Psalm 91:11, "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."

I am debating a “Gap Year.” The emotional drain of knowing is exhausting. I have ghosts of people in desperate situations swirling in my head day and night. With limited resources and unlimited opportunities, I question my impact. I am Sisyphus pushing that rock up a hill only to have it roll back again.

I am not Alone

As I reflect on Esther, who was orphaned, forced into exile in a distant land, and compelled to enter a pagan king’s harem, I’m reminded of the life-or-death choice she had to make in order to aid her people. Mordecai’s words resonate: “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Perhaps, you and I were also destined for a purpose during this very moment. It’s possible that we’ve been placed here and now to fulfill precisely what God has commanded. Mordecai added:

Esther 4:14, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place."

And if we don’t, God will raise another in our place. How do you survive the act of caring? Obedience and perspective. We do what we do because God has allowed us into His plan for another. It is a gift, not an obligation. We must understand that everything is under God’s purview. God leaves nothing to chance. Every action has meaning.

Ephesians 1:11, "In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will."

Surviving the act of caring, we must have a great counselor, therapist, and guide. The good news is we do.

Splagchnizomai

Greek: Splagchnizomai (splangkh-nid’-zom-ahee), To have the bowels yearn, be moved with compassion, have compassion (the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of all affections).

In Luke, compassion is described using the Greek word splagchnizomai. Luke is describing Jesus’ compassion for the sinners around Him. It is more than a pragmatic need to help; it is an emotional connection to their condition. Christ didn’t just have compassion for their lives but more profound compassion for their eternal existence.

Matthew 9:36, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

Compassion is the root of God’s purpose for your life. It is through compassion we learn to love. It is through compassion that we act. The challenge is to move compassion from your head to your heart. Many good causes evoke compassion. Who can look away when a small child is hungry? Scenes of poverty elicit a strong sense of compassion and the need to do something.  

James 1:27, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

I want to delve deeper beyond the intellectual understanding of caring for others. God loves us with an indescribable passion not because we deserve it but because He knows we don’t. His love for us is driven by compassion for who we are, not admiration for who we are. He understands that we can never repay Him for His investment in us. His heart is moved by our suffering and wondering.

He needs nothing. It is His very nature to love us altruistically. He is the model for what we should aspire to when we engage others. Our reaction to others shouldn’t be rules-based or environmentally conditioned but a visceral swell from deep within us. It should be a reaction too intense to control.

1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

That is a lot to ask in this chaotic, busy world. We are constantly influenced by people whose agenda requires more time to decipher than we have. We go along to get along, to make it through the day. It is hard enough to show compassion for the ones we love; how do we extend that? How do we slow down our heads so that we can engage others, not just roll over them on our way to the next thing?

“Compassion costs. It is easy enough to argue, criticize, and condemn, but redemption is costly, and comfort draws from the deep. Brains can argue, but it takes heart to comfort.” – Samuel Chadwick.

First, we don’t eat the elephant in one bite. We have to decide who we want to be. The account of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) has two storylines. The first one is the big one we all think about. It is how the father showed compassion for his son upon his return; it is easy to recognize and relate to. The second is subtle and closer to home (v. 28-30). The good son has little compassion for his brother because he feels he has stayed behind and supported his father after the prodigal son left. The good son has this sense of righteous indignation that overshadows compassion. The father’s compassion was splagchnizomai, while the good son’s compassion was rules-based and pragmatic.

Are we the father or the good son? Can we show compassion even when we have been taken advantage of, or do we have rules that we feel are reasonable and correct? To truly love those God has put in front of us is to scrap the rules. We all have a lot of rules. Many of those rules were taught to us by well-meaning individuals who didn’t want to see others take advantage of us. The good son has a plausible argument, but his position lacks genuine compassion.

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

To love the way God intended us to love, we need first to have compassion for those God has sent our way. Like Christ, it can’t be compassion just for their current situation, but compassion for their eternity. Once we start to see people as an extension of their eternal existence, we can start to look past who they are now. We start to see them as God sees them.  Loving someone you will spend in the presence of God for eternity is a lot easier than loving the person who can irritate you with just a look.

In life, it is the journey, not the destination. The destination is a gift through grace. The journey is all the beautiful things God has in store for us as He helps us help others.

Galatians 5:14, “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”