We only get one life, and time flows in only one direction. Every moment is unique and irreplaceable, never to be repeated. Yet, we often fail to grasp the true value of our time. Time is one of the most precious resources in life—finite and irreplaceable. It’s easy to overlook its importance, to pretend that tomorrow will always be there. But tomorrow never truly arrives; all we have is today, this present moment. Do we honor it as we should?
James 4:13-14, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.”
Most of us spend our entire lives reliving moments that will never come. We fill our heads with thoughts of tomorrow, conversations that will never happen, and events that will never come to fruition. We are so busy playing what-ifs with our future that we do not cherish the present. The very thing we have the most control over is the last thing we think of.
Proverbs 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.”
We spend a tremendous amount of time worrying about what we can accomplish in the future, creating regrets about the past. We fret over lost opportunities and missing relationships. We forget all the time we spend building scenarios that never came to fruition.
Why do We Live in the Past
Isaiah 43:18, “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past.”
Humans are naturally inclined to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. Regret often arises from situations that feel incomplete or unresolved. Without a sense of closure, the mind repeatedly revisits these moments, searching for a satisfying conclusion or attempting to rewrite the past. When our actions or decisions conflict with our values or self-image, it creates cognitive dissonance—a psychological discomfort. To alleviate this discomfort, the mind frequently replays the regretful event to find a resolution or make sense of it. Regret is often tied to unresolved emotions like guilt, shame, or sadness. These powerful and persistent feelings can lead to dwelling on what went wrong and what could have been done differently
Ecclesiastes 3:14-15, “I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; God will call the past to account.”
The past is not malleable; it is unchangeable. Our best approach to overcoming regret is to spend more time in the present moment, where our regretful actions have their genesis. God has given us this moment, right now, to do that which will resolve many of the regrets we may have in the future.
Living in the Present
Time is the brush of God as he paints his masterpiece on the heart of humanity. – Ravi Zacharias
That is not the life God has intended. God created us to glorify Him, but we cannot do that if we live in the future or regret the past. The greatest glory we can bring before God is to live the life He has planned for us. That life is not a life of worry and anxiety but a life of achieving, excelling, and joy. But if we do not take the time to experience it in the moment, then why experience it?
Galatians 6:10, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
You have one life to live. It is the only life God has given you.
Being a Good Steward of Time
Proverbs 3:6,” In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
The future is yet to come. Millions of decisions, made by millions of people from millions of places, have yet to determine it. We must be mindful of the future but not live in it. Be a good steward of what God has given you. Protect it, nourish it, and help it grow. Be mindful of the sustainability of your mission, but not at the expense of today. Otherwise, you will create a vast catalog of lifelong regrets. That future you worked so hard to create will remain elusive.
Job 8:7, “Though your beginning was insignificant, yet your end will increase greatly.”
Everyone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and listen.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“
Everyone’s Story
I have traveled worldwide and met people of many diverse cultures. What I have learned is that we all share the same DNA when it comes to life stories. It starts in tragedy, then crescendos to the impossible, and ends with great overcoming. The crescendo’s amplitude varies based on the environment, but the storyline remains intact.
I have found that the root cause of much of the conflict we experience in life is a lack of understanding about our commonality. We focus too much on our differences and not enough on our similarities.
Hebrews 3:4, “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”
Everyone has a personal story of overcoming challenges, and these stories are profoundly individual yet universally relatable. These stories showcase resilience, growth, and the human capacity to adapt and thrive in adversity. Listening to these stories can inspire us, foster empathy, and build connections by highlighting everyday experiences and struggles. Each story is a testament to the strength and determination inherent in the human spirit, reminding us that we can overcome even the most daunting obstacles.
“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” — Dean Jackson.
EARNING THE RIGHT TO SPEAK
Mark 12:31, “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
How do you earn the right to speak? Most of us enter a conversation assuming we have the right to speak our minds. While this is conventional wisdom, it should not be the default attitude. A better way to position yourselves is to earn this right to speak.
Be Attentive: Eliminate distractions and concentrate fully on the speaker. Maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and adopt an open posture to show you are actively engaged in the conversation. You are not listening until it is your turn to talk; you are listening to understand their point of view.
Proverbs 18:13, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”
Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker finish their thoughts without interjecting. Pause before replying to ensure the speaker has finished their point. Keep your emotions in check and avoid reacting impulsively. Allow the conversation to flow naturally without rushing. We almost always find something to respond to in the middle of their monologue. There is a natural inclination to stop the speaker while your thoughts are fresh. If you let them continue, you show respect, and you might learn something that changes your response.
Show Empathy: Try to grasp the speaker’s emotions and perspectives. Acknowledge their feelings and experiences. This action shows that you understand and care. You can’t fake this. You care, or you don’t care. If you don’t care, why are you even having this conversation?
Ask Questions: Ask open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding. Questions should encourage the speaker to elaborate and share more details. The advice given to me is to convert every statement into a question. Instead of saying, “That won’t work.”, say, “How do you see that working?
Avoid Judgments: Listen without forming immediate opinions or assumptions. Respect the speaker’s viewpoint, even if it differs from your own.
Benefits of Listening
Proverbs 1:5, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”
When we become so wrapped up in our own story that we can not see or choose to disregard the story of others, we miss an incredible opportunity for grace. Rather than launching into a defense of our story, stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the story of the person in front of you. Here is what you might Learn:
Value of Empathy: Listening to someone’s story is a way to walk in their shoes, to see the world through their eyes. It fosters empathy and deepens your understanding of human experiences, creating meaningful connections. People do not create positions contrary to their experiences. There is a reason they think what they think. Discover it.
Personal Growth: Every story you hear can teach you something new. It can challenge your perspectives, broaden your horizons, and contribute to personal growth. We are all a product of our environment, and so are they. Try to understand the worldly forces molding their experience.
Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
The Power of Validation: When you listen to someone’s story, you validate their experiences. This acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful and healing for the storyteller, reminding them that their voice matters. Stories remind us of our shared humanity. In a world that can often feel divided, listening to others can bring us closer together and highlight the common threads that unite us all.
Inspiration: Consider when someone’s story has inspired you, changed your perspective, or motivated you. By listening to others, you allow yourself to experience these moments regularly. We all love overcoming that moment when the impossible becomes possible. We need to hear more of these.
This Week’s Final Thought
Listening to others’ stories isn’t just about them—it’s also about you. It’s a reciprocal act where the listener and the storyteller gain something valuable. A person’s emotional state is derived from their previous experiences. We sometimes misunderstand a current situation because we do not know its story. Ask them their story when you sense something greater is going on. This moment could be the moment when another great story begins.
Proverbs 27:19, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”
Watch one, Do One, Teach One. One of the things I have learned in life is that original ideas come about once every one hundred years. Almost every new and innovative idea is a remake of a previous idea. Ányos Jedlik invented the electric car in 1928. We take something other people have already thought of, add our spin, and call it new. The idea behind watch one, do one, teach one is not new. It is biblical in that Jesus used this process to mature His disciples.
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin.
Watch One
Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Jesus was the consummate teacher. Reading, listening, and praying are the signs of a lifelong Christian learner. Jesus spent much time teaching the disciples the wisdom He wanted them to use when He sent them into the world. It was not learning for the sake of learning. He did not want them to be great Tanakh scholars; He wanted them equipped for the work ahead of them.
Do One
Matthew 10:5-8, “These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, and drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.”
Then Jesus asked them to do. He sent them out into the world to mimic what they had learned. They returned to Him to get instruction and advice. Jesus wanted them fully prepared to advance His Kingdom once He was gone.
Teach One
Matthew 28:18-20: “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'”
Then Jesus commanded them to teach others what they had learned. Jesus watched His teaching go viral through His disciples. The best and fastest way to expand your message is to engage others in spreading that message.
What About Us
“I hear, and I forget. I see, and I remember. I do, and I understand.” – Confucius
As of 2024, there are approximately 2.6 billion Christians worldwide. That is quite a multiplier; twelve have grown into 2.6 billion. I don’t think I am going to have that impact. But I believe I will have an impact if I follow Jesus’ formula. It doesn’t make a difference what plan God has for your life; this formula applies. Wherever your passion, gifting, resources, or experience leads you, be a constant learner, do what you have learned, and then teach others.
James 1:22, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
The idea behind Watch One, Do One, Teach One is pragmatic. Requiring the learner to do before they are allowed to teach means that the learner must have experienced life lessons from the learning before passing the knowledge to others. Do not skip over this phase. Doing infuses credibility into the audience when teaching. The teaching goes from theoretical to real life. Many spend their lives learning and trying to pass it on as teaching when we have never lived it. That is the definition of a hypocrite. To have an impact, you must live what you teach.
Romans 2:20-24, “An instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”
Getting in the way of God, what does that mean? This idea is a concept that I struggle with constantly. It started with a passage in Mark.
Mark 8:31–33, “He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
Jesus strongly rebukes Peter. What did Peter do to deserve this type of treatment? Peter put his desire and the world’s desires before God’s desire. He thought he had a better plan for saving his Jewish people. The problem was that Peter didn’t understand the right question. It was not saving the Israelites from the Romans but saving all humanity from destruction.
That took me back to the early 2000’s. We had a men’s retreat at my church. A recession was in progress, and some men were looking for jobs. After one man stood before the assembled men and asked for help in his job search, Leo Wells of Wells Real Estate Investment Trust, a relatively wealthy man, said not to get so involved in good works that you get in the way of God’s plans.
At the time, it struck me as a very unChrist-like statement. Should we not always do as much as we can with what we have to help another Christian?
1 John 3:17 ~ “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”
Getting in the Way
1 Corinthians 2:11, “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”
It took time and perspective to understand what Leo was saying. I looked at the crisis in my life for direction. How many times did God use a crisis to get my attention? How often have I walked away from a crisis with a greater appreciation for the experience?
We hate crises, uncertainty, and vulnerability. For me, it was mainly about how it affected others. People depended on me, and I was vulnerable. I didn’t know how long this situation would last, how bad it would get, or how I would keep my commitments.
It is in these moments that we cling to Christ. Many times, it is the crisis that causes us to rest in Christ’s promise never to desert us. A crisis is the ultimate litmus test of our faith. It is not the blessings and good times; it is when we are weakest and most vulnerable.
Had well-meaning Christians interfered with what God was trying to accomplish with me during a crisis, I may not have learned the lesson He had for me. I can’t say I looked at it that way during my dark hours; I wanted help, relief, and certainty. I wanted to get as far from my problem as humanly possible; I didn’t care what that looked like.
How Do We Know
Jeremiah 32:19, “Great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.”
I find that there are times when we experience the downside to wisdom. Ignorance is bliss. God opens our eyes to His wisdom, and our limited human existence freezes. We don’t know how to deal with it. God knows everything, and we know so little about our impact on the future. What is our response when presented with an opportunity to help someone out of a crisis?
There is only one viable response: PRAYER. Every situation is unique. Every path forward has its own story. There are times when we should step in and help. But we must be aware that there are times when we need to trust God a little bit more. There may be a purpose behind the situation that we do not see. The best worldly advice I can give is to see if God is not holding open another door that does not include us. Prayer is the only way you can decern this.
Job 42:2, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”
Constantly, others present me with opportunities to help. It seems the opportunities are endless. I have tried to learn not to be impulsive. My kneejerk reaction is to do something. The correct answer is to pray about it. Let God do His thing. I hate to see people in pain, but sometimes, a little pain is precisely what God intends. I think about the long-term consequences of my help. Will it promote independence and growth, or will it foster dependency?
Leo’s Echo
It has been almost a quarter of a century, and that one statement by Leo haunts me. When do I play, and when do I sit on the sidelines? When am I helping with God’s plan for another, and when am I getting in the way? I have gained the wisdom to ask the question but not the wisdom to answer it. That is troubling.
1 John 2:6, “The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.”
What is your art? That was the question Charlie Paparelli posed this morning. Charlie is what I would call a distant friend. He is one of the great minds in the Atlanta entrepreneurial ecosystem. We often met through High Tech Ministries, but I always considered him a rung above me; Charlie drew me in through his directness. He would ask the crucial, tricky question without sugarcoating it.
This question is one of those critical, challenging questions. What do you care so much about that you don’t care if other people find it acceptable? Charlie gave the example of his sister, who became a well-known artist in South Florida. Early on, when her art was still unpopular, Charlie asked why she didn’t paint more pictures that people liked as opposed to what she liked. Her answer was that she was an artist, not a commercial painter. What she did was deeply personal and important to her.
Proverbs 22:29 “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.”
This concept got me thinking about my art. Now, pragmatic solutions and logic are my entire world. That is how God wired my brain. That type of personality doesn’t lend itself to natural creativity as one would traditionally think of creativity. Things like music, art, or poetry are not in my wheelhouse. So, what is my art?
Philippians 2:13, “For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”
MY ART
For me, I would guess it is human potential. In my lifetime, I have met some extraordinary people. People who soar above me on eddies that I find unreachable. When I listen to great music, it brings me to tears at the beauty that one person can create. The emotion is so unfiltered I don’t know how they channel it. Sometimes, I find an artisan who created such an extraordinary piece that I want to gently slide my hand across the surface to feel the texture; the love that went into it is tactual. The greatness that humans are capable of is beyond my understanding. It reminds me that God put people on this earth to use their gifts to glorify Him, and that glorification takes us all to deeper meaning.
All the passion, talent, skills, and drive to create great things are gifts from God that we can use to honor Him or ourselves. The flaw I find in people who are never satisfied is that they are living for themselves, not their maker. They will never achieve their true potential until they use their God-given gifts to honor Him.
Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
I can’t say I care if self-absorbed people believe this or not. My reaction is the same as not believing in gravity; it doesn’t mean you can fly. You can go through life denying this and wander in an emotional desert, or readjust your thinking and have joy and contentment. It’s your choice.
True purpose and meaning do not come from the gifts God gave you but from the application of those gifts.
Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”
YOUR ART
So, what is your art? What are you so passionate about that you will not allow it to be diluted by those who disagree? Now, I realize that internal needs drive many of our passions. The need to be accepted or liked is a prime example. When we feel isolated, we become vulnerable to fake passions. These are passions driven by emotional needs, not God-given gifts.
Ephesians 4:12 “Christ gave these gifts to prepare God’s holy people for the work of serving, to make the body of Christ stronger.”
I want you to think about what you would continue to do even if all your friends thought you were crazy. It is quite the opposite of emotional codependence; you do it for yourself, not for anyone else. It is the thing that makes you quirky or illogical at times. Your art is also the one that brings you the most joy.
“Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” –Daniel Goleman
1 Corinthians 4:20, “For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.”
THE WRAP UP
We can wrap this back around to your calling. What is God driving you toward? I would suggest that your art is part of your calling.
Even small actions driven by passion can have a significant impact. Teaching, sharing, or simply being enthusiastic about what you love can create ripples that influence and benefit others in ways you might not immediately see.
“On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn of decision, sat down to wait, and waiting died”- George W. Cecil.
Do not allow the world to dampen your art, your passion. Do and be; don’t wait for others to come beside you.
Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Having a calling: do we have a calling, and if so, how would we know? I often think about this and talk with others about it because I spent most of my life chasing the wrong dream. I felt that God’s natural and spiritual gifts were the same or at least variations of the same. My passion for my vocation was the same as my passion for Christ. I believed He made me chase what I chased for a God-given reason. Regi Cambell, in his Book “Radical Wisdom” made this statement:
“A secular endeavor approached from a spiritual perspective is spiritual.
A spiritual endeavor, approached from a secular perspective, is secular.”
Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”
Over half a century of getting knocked down to my knees, then getting back up only to be knocked down again, have taught me that I am not good at creating my calling. God created it in me; I needed to stop fighting it and grow with it.
John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
Calling is that umbrella that sits over all things in your universe. It not only includes the tools that God has given you: skills, passion, relationships, vocation, experience, and knowledge, but also spiritual gifts. This transformation of worldly traits into spiritual realms is what powers you to a higher purpose and meaning.
THE LIST
Here is a simple list of “thoughts” that might help inspire you to think more deeply about your calling.
Give Freely: The accurate measure of your life lies in what you give away—not just money, but your time, attention, and compassion.
Beyond Accumulation: What you accumulate in life loses its value once you’re gone. Yet, it often defines the worth of our lives.
Selfless Living: Those who dedicate the latter part of their lives to selfless service rarely wish to trade it for hobbies like fishing, traveling, or golfing.
Act Now: It’s wise to engage in meaningful actions while you have the time, health, energy, and resources. We never know how long these will last.
Time Awareness: Many of us realize that time is running out, and it’s the one thing we cannot save for a rainy day.
Meaning Over Measure: A calling is more about its intrinsic meaning than measurable outcomes. Focus on your intent, not just the impact.
Fear of Significance: Our fear of making a significant impact can prevent us from making the most meaningful contributions.
Emotional Burden: A calling is driven by your emotional burdens, soft skills, and feelings rather than your background or hard skills.
Embrace Your Burdens: Reflect on what keeps you up at night. Don’t suppress these feelings—let them guide you and allow God to work through them.
Learn by Helping: A calling often starts by assisting others. Learn from them, and let their passion ignite yours.
Focus on People: Your calling is about the people God places in your path, not necessarily the specific tasks or destinations.
Disobedience Indicator: You can recognize your calling if not pursuing it feels like disobedience.
Success Redefined: Measure success by your actions, not by what you achieve. Ask yourself, “Did I do what was asked of me?”
Outcome Independence: Your responsibility is to fulfill what God asked you to do, regardless of the outcome.
2 Thessalonians 2:14, “He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
THE CHALLENGE
The challenge for most overachievers is that they want to be the next great tsunami. They want to be that transformable wave that changes destinies and lifts lives. They want what they do to ripple through eternity like rolling thunder. Me too. But that is not the path before most of us. The path is a path of obedience to small things that will someday lead to great things, mostly after we have left his spinning globe.
Do not fail to do what you can while waiting to do something significant. What is significant to God is a life lived as a reflection of His love and care for all humankind. Calling isn’t a mountain to climb but a step out the front door. It is a decision to focus on people, not tasks or destinations. It uses the personality and traits God created in you at inception to serve the people God puts before you.
2 Peter 1:10-11, “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
Randomness seems so random. Simple concepts sometimes catch my attention. One of them is randomness. Did you know you cannot prove randomness; you can only disprove it? Just because you can not find the pattern in a sequence does not mean it doesn’t exist. But if you find a pattern, you know it is not random.
Interestingly, this also applies to a lie. If I had said that I was at home last night by myself, then the only way to prove I lied was to prove where I was. If you can’t prove the truth, the lie stands. Just because someone did not see me doesn’t mean I wasn’t out somewhere.
INCIDENTAL ME
Psalm 139:13-14,"You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this."
Let’s start with the most random event in my life: being born a white male in the United States during the 1950’s. The answer is incredibly small, 0.065%. That is sixty-five one thousand of one percent. Each of us has a number like that in our existence. For example, the probability of a male being born in Zaire in the 1970s is 0.14%. That means it was twice as likely to be born male in Zaire in the 1970s than in the US in the 1950s. My dad had a college degree, making him among the only 6.2% of people in the United States with a degree. That means only 43 out of every million people born in the US in 1950 shared my start in life. There were only 3 million births in the United States that year. In the world, as a whole, there are less than 140 people who started life with what I had. Why is this important?
Isaiah 64:8,"Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay; you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
God is not random. The odds of my existence, 0.004304%, are not random. I take for granted that I am who I am. I do not question my heritage. But my existence, although seemingly random, is specific. God planted me here and when for His purpose. What I have experienced in my life is not the product of random behavior. It is part of a carefully crafted plan for all of creation. Do you believe that about yourself?
ARBITRARY YOU
Jeremiah 1:4-5, "The Lord gave me this message: "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."
I get the incredible opportunity to meet people from all over the world who God created in a much different environment. Sometimes, it is hard for me to understand the context of their existence. Those are fancy words: “I don’t get how you can accept who you are and where you are.” I find insane potential with limited opportunity. But, just as I am a carefully crafted person, designed for a specific plan in God’s kingdom, so are they. So are you.
Every Christian is born great. Greatness is inside every new creation. This greatness is what makes you unique and distinguishes you from others. – Justice Kojo Bentil
When we spend too much time trying to be someone else or somewhere else, we are disputing the sovereignty of God’s wisdom. God created our purpose and meaning before we became aware of it. The country, ethnic group, economic status, gender, education, and even our disabilities are part of the careful crafting. In our weakness, we are made strong.
Psalm 139:16, "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
What we choose to do with that craftmanship differentiates who we become. Do we see ourselves as a victim of randomness or part of a glorious plan to save all of humankind? Are the events of our lives the random results of living in a broken world? Is God crafting us to be unique within His kingdom, or is He accepting what life makes us?
THE GREAT PLAN
Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
I apologize; I had an unequaled head start in most of the world. I did not recognize it for what it was and squandered the first half of my life, thinking it was normal and random; 0.004304% had to be random. Now I know that you, me, and every other person on this planet are specifically created to achieve a purpose designed within us at birth. It is not random; the creator of the universe intentionally crafts it. We, and we alone, get to choose.
Psalm 139:2-4, "You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord."
According to Dr. Henry Cloud, there are three types of people: wise, foolish, and evil. Every morning, I read from Regi Campell’s Radial Wisdom. It is radical mainly because it draws life lessons from scripture and provides a pragmatic application that creates action that day. On several days, Regi writes about Dr. Henry Cloud and his book, Necessary Endings. The fact that Regi hits this subject more than once made it stick.
Proverbs 9:10-12, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding, for through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."
Wise
Wise people evaluate their experiences, learn lessons, and apply them. As learners, they regularly humble themselves, own their mistakes, and look for ways to do better next time.
One of my favorite sayings from my dad is; If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. You can only learn from people who know more than you do. Life has never been about you; it is about those God puts in your path. Being wise means you slow down and use what God has given you to reach out to others. Much of what God gives us comes from our association with the people He connects us to.
Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
You can tell if a person possesses wisdom by how they present information.
Characteristics:
Sound Judgment: They make well-considered decisions and exhibit good judgment. They weigh the potential consequences of their actions and choose paths that align with long-term benefits rather than short-term gains.
Empathy and Compassion: Wisdom involves a high degree of empathy. Wise people understand and share the feelings of others, showing compassion and kindness in their interactions.
Humility: Wise individuals are humble, recognizing the limits of their knowledge and remaining open to new ideas and perspectives. They do not boast about their wisdom or look down on others.
High Emotional IQ: They manage their emotions effectively, staying calm and composed even in challenging situations. This emotional stability allows them to think clearly and act rationally.
Adaptability: They are adaptable and flexible, able to adjust their thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances. This ability helps them navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience.
Curiosity and Lifelong Learning: They maintain a curious and open mind, continually seeking knowledge and understanding. They recognize that learning is a lifelong journey.
These are the people you spend time with and learn from. They generally don’t suggest solutions but ask questions about pathways to solutions.
Proverbs 17:10, “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”
Foolish
A fool does almost the opposite of a wise person in every situation. Fools don’t take feedback or learn from their mistakes. They are full of blame and excuses.
Proverbs 26:1-11, "Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool. Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest. A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. Sending a message by the hands of a fool is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison. Like the useless legs of one who is lame is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool. Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. Like an archer who wounds at random is one who hires a fool or any passer-by. As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."
The definition of a foolish person is one who does not evaluate their experiences and doesn’t learn from their mistakes. My dad used to say that a mistake is a bad thing that happened to you that you didn’t learn from. It is not a mistake if you learn something important. Foolish people don’t learn from mistakes and are generally defensive when discussing them. They place blame on others and make excuses. They don’t listen, take responsibility for their actions, and see themselves as the victim of their environment. Their life is riddled with mistakes.
Few people are one hundred percent foolish. All of us have our blind spots. We are partially foolish in that we deal wisely with some issues and foolishly with others. Dr. Cloud would advise us to take wisdom from their strength, but in areas of weakness, stop talking. It is always good to help illuminate consequences and set boundaries, but don’t expect change.
Characteristics:
Impulsiveness: Foolish people tend to act on impulse rather than reason. They may rush into actions without thinking them through, driven by immediate desires or emotions.
Stubbornness: They can be rigid and inflexible, unwilling to consider new information or alternative perspectives. This stubbornness can prevent them from learning and growing.
Narrow-Mindedness: They might have a limited perspective, failing to see the bigger picture or consider the interconnectedness of various aspects of life.
Overconfidence: Foolish individuals may have an inflated sense of their knowledge and abilities. They often overestimate their competence and underestimate risks.
Emotional Instability: Foolish people might be prone to emotional outbursts and poor emotional regulation. This emotional instability can result in erratic behavior and strained relationships.
Irresponsibility: Foolish individuals may avoid taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. They might blame others for their mistakes and fail to learn from their experiences.
Short-Term Focus: They often prioritize immediate gratification over long-term benefits. This shortsightedness can lead to decisions that are detrimental in the long run.
Stop talking to foolish people about problems because they aren’t listening anyway.
Proverbs 23:9, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.”
Evil
Unfortunately, there are people in this world that are just plain evil. They have dark hearts. Evil people want to hurt and destroy you, your family, your business, and your church. Your goal with evil people is protection. You can not talk them into or out of anything; they are entirely internally focused. God wants them redeemed, some may be, but leave that to God. Be careful how and when you interact with them until you feel a direct calling from God, not of your own volition.
1 Corinthians 5:11, “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”
Characteristics:
Lack of Empathy: They exhibit a profound inability to empathize with others. They are indifferent to the feelings and suffering of those around them and may even derive pleasure from others’ pain.
Deception: They are frequently deceitful, engaging in lies, manipulation, and betrayal. They use dishonesty as a tool to achieve their evil goals.
Exploitation: They exploit others for personal gain without regard for the well-being of those they exploit. This exploitation can be financial, emotional, or physical.
Narcissism: Many evil people exhibit extreme narcissism, believing they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for others’ rights and feelings.
Manipulativeness: They are skilled at manipulating others to achieve their ends. They may use charm, flattery, or intimidation to control and dominate those around them.
Parasitic Behavior: They often live off the efforts and resources of others, contributing little or nothing and taking advantage of others’ hard work and generosity.
Moral Disregard: Evil individuals often blatantly disregard moral and ethical standards. They do not adhere to societal norms of right and wrong and act according to their self-serving principles.
Aggressiveness: They are often aggressive and prone to violence. Their aggression can be physical, verbal, or psychological, and they use it to dominate and intimidate others.
Lack of Remorse: They do not feel guilt or remorse for their harmful actions. No matter how destructive, they may rationalize their behavior or feel justified.
Psalm 14:1, “They are corrupt, their deeds are vile, there is no one who does good,”
Don’t walk away from these people; run, for these people will rain evil upon you.
The Key
Surround yourself with wise people who can help you achieve God’s purpose in your life. Don’t spend time with the foolish. They will waste your time and divert you from a meaningful pursuit of God’s plan. Foolish people are time consumers. Evil people will always exist. Be quick to identify them and move them out of your life.
Most importantly, pray for everyone. You have no idea how God works in their lives and what plans God has for them.
I’ve never heard anyone regret praying. I certainly haven’t. While some may be hesitant to pray or feel like some people are still waiting for answers, no one ever regrets turning to prayer.
Prayer can be challenging. We ask for what we want, yet acknowledge that God acts within His will. When asked, “Does God answer prayer?” the typical response is that He does so with a yes, no, or not now. This response, while accurate, can feel unsatisfying.
James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” Understanding this, we realize that while we may not always get what we want when we want it, God’s blessings still come. I’ve prayed for the same person’s salvation for thirty years without seeing it happen. Does this mean they never will? Not necessarily. Free will play a role. Do I regret those prayers? Never.
When Does God Hear Our Prayers?
How attuned is God to us when we pray? How quickly does He hear us?
Isaiah 65:24 assures us, “It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.”
God, who created everything effortlessly, knows the plan He has for each of us. He is aware of every detail of our lives. The balance between God’s predestination and our free will is a mystery we must accept.
Colossians 1:16 reminds us, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”
God knows our hearts and our prayers before we speak them. We pray because God yearns to hear our voices. He longs for us to come to Him willingly, rejoicing when we acknowledge our need for Him. By turning to Him in prayer, we honor Him.
1 John 5:14 states, “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
When Does God Answer Our Prayers?
If God knows our prayers before we speak, when does He answer? He begins to act immediately. The complexity of answered prayer is beyond our comprehension, considering the ripple effects across billions of lives.
E. M. Bounds said, “I think Christians fail so often to get answers to their prayers because they do not wait long enough on God.”
In Daniel Chapter 10, an angel sent to answer Daniel’s prayer was delayed by evil forces and needed the Archangel Michael’s help. Satan opposes answered prayer, but God always prevails.
Revelation 20:10 assures us, “And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.”
God works on our behalf even in our frustration, disillusionment, or shortage of faith. We might not always see it, but He is there. The answers we receive may not always align with our desires, as our perspective on eternity is limited. However, no one ever regrets praying. Being in the presence of God and sharing our frustrations has intrinsic value. God loves us, understands our struggles, and longs to hear our voices.
Ephesians 6:18 encourages us, “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.”
The Unending Value of Prayer
No one ever regrets prayer. Praying and reaching out to God is a profound expression of faith and trust. In prayer, we find comfort, strength, and the assurance that God is always listening and working for our good.
“If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.” – Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres
Recognizing Facts and Moving Forward
Understanding that some issues are beyond resolution can be liberating. Consider the example of a parent who may not have provided the ideal level of support during your upbringing. This might have impacted your self-esteem or emotional growth. While this situation is unfortunate, it’s a fact of your past that cannot be altered. Instead of dwelling on the unchangeable, we can focus on how to move forward positively.
The Power of Perspective
How we handle problems differs significantly from how we accept facts. Problems can be dissected, analyzed, and tackled step-by-step. The future is open to influence and transformation. Conversely, some life circumstances are immutable, whether they stem from the past or exist in the present beyond our control.
1 Peter 3:9, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
Problem-solving is part art and part skill. Some tried and true approaches help minimize the impact of problems. There are strategies for breaking a problem into manageable parts and solving each at a time. Sometimes, solving a problem requires playing a hunch or rolling the dice but in a predictable manner. The art must be grounded in skill. But how do we deal with a problem without a solution?
Navigating Unsolvable Problems
An insightful lesson from my college days comes to mind. I had a calculus professor who always put one problem on the test that did not have a solution. Although his responsibility was to teach us math, he also felt compelled to teach us about life. A student would flunk the test if they didn’t concede that some problems are unsolvable. They would spend all their time working on one equation that had no answer, leaving the other, solvable problems, unattended. Once students understood this, they were more careful about how they spent their time during the test. Now, the question is to decide which problems are complicated or unsolvable.
James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”
Accepting and Adapting to Facts
Many of us struggle to accept unpleasant facts, which can lead to frustration and wasted effort. Embracing reality allows us to redirect our energy towards meaningful pursuits. Acceptance paves the way for peace and purpose, freeing us from the burden of trying to change the unchangeable.
Romans 8:31, “What shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Creating a Positive Path Forward
A problem without a solution becomes a fact, and accepting it is the first step towards progress. We must forgive past transgressions, whether ours or others’, and focus on what we can influence. For instance, dealing with different personality types isn’t about changing others but adjusting our approach to create productive interactions.
1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
Living with Compassion and Faith
Compassion can transform relationships and situations. Slowing down, being humble, and accepting solutions beyond our control can lead to extraordinary outcomes. Trusting in Christ and embodying His love helps alleviate stress and anxiety, leading to smoother paths in life.
Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Trusting in Divine Guidance
Recognizing that God’s love can overcome all obstacles is empowering. Many of life’s challenges are, in fact, unchangeable, and we must turn these over to God. Instead of struggling against the inevitable, we can seek guidance, patience, and a way forward through faith.
John 8:36, “So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”
By embracing facts and focusing on what we can influence, we open ourselves to a life filled with peace, purpose, and the transformative power of faith.
We only get one life, and time flows in only one direction. Every moment is unique and irreplaceable, never to be repeated. Yet, we often fail to grasp the true value of our time. Time is one of the most precious resources in life—finite and irreplaceable. It’s easy to overlook its importance, to pretend that tomorrow will always be there. But tomorrow never truly arrives; all we have is today, this present moment. Do we honor it as we should?
Everyone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and listen.
