Tag: Christian Purpose

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The Essential Steps to Achieve Purpose and Meaning

There are three essential steps to achievement. No one can achieve anything without these three steps. We must achieve them in this order. Either most of us don’t believe in this list, or they don’t believe they can achieve it. You must embrace these three elements to become the person God made you.

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.” Muhammad Ali’s “The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life’s Journey.”

It is incredible how many people I meet at every stage of life still don’t feel fulfilled. They struggle to find meaning and purpose. Some are very successful; some are not. They started down a path and couldn’t or wouldn’t change directions. They somehow believe they are on the right path; the actual destination is around the next bend.

Romans 9:21, "Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?"

I Conceive

“Without God, life has no purpose; without purpose, life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope.” Rick Warren

The first step is accepting that you are unique and perfectly made for what God has planned for you. This step allows you to perceive yourself as invincible to failure. Things will not always go as you have in mind and prefer, but they will always lead you to where God has planned for you to go. The challenge is to find the right path. Trying to be like someone else because they have something you want is not the same as living as you are designed.

Proverbs 19:21, "Many plans are in a man's heart, But the counsel of the Lord will stand."

Most of us are under the influence of social media, well-meaning parents and friends, or cultural norms that push us toward artificial purpose and meaning. We get there to discover it wasn’t a destination but a milepost. God will use every experience, relationship, opportunity, and roadblock to hone your ultimate path. Many of the setbacks and disappointments are nudges from God to get you moving in the right direction.

2 Timothy 1:9, "Who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity."

The first step to lifelong achievement is to recognize who God made you to be. Your vocation, skills, and aptitudes are tools to achieve that purpose.

I Believe

Probably the most challenging part of becoming a Godly person, living within God’s plan, is commitment. We all want that safety net. Our society has created alternatives to failure, so we don’t have to commit fully. One of the most important decisions you can make in life, who you will marry, allows for no-fault divorce. There is a back door to almost any decision.

Job 42:2, "I know that You can do all things and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted."

Our brain has the reticular activating system designed to move us from discomfort to comfort by recognizing patterns around us that mimic our expectations. We do not like uncertainty; we gravitate to what we know. There is risk in committing to being a Godly person. The world will not support your decision. It wants you to conform to expectations. You must believe God created you for a specific purpose, which will not fail regardless of public opinion.

You can not achieve your full potential without an iron-clad commitment to that path.

I Achieve

“God has a purpose behind every problem. He uses circumstances to develop our character. In fact, he depends more on circumstances to make us like Jesus than he depends on our reading the Bible.” Rick Warren

Finally, you must do it. God can not steer a stationary ship. Movement is required. My experience dictates that God is not a straight-line kind of guy. He doesn’t find the quickest path from A to B. Just as Paul went to Rome via Asia Minor, Greece, Antioch, Ephesus, Corinth, and then Jerusalem didn’t have a well laid out straight path, neither will we. But each stop along the way has meaning.

God does not waste effort. It is up to us to search out the meaning and use it as we move forward.

Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Living with Christ is a person’s highest and most satisfying achievement. It is not the trophies accumulated along the way; it is the destination. It is not measured as people would measure it. We can not see the eternal impact of our efforts, but God can. First, you must understand that God loves you and has an incredible plan for your life, then you must believe it to the point of commitment, and finally, you must do. No other process will bring the joy that only God can bring.

 1 Corinthians 10:31, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

 

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Understanding Myself.

Understanding myself; evolving from information to wisdom. Like many Christians, I struggle with obedience. I have gotten to a place where I don’t struggle with the big decisions, but I struggle with the everyday reactions to meaningless situations. I become emotionally highjacked by simple events. Things that I can stand back and say to myself, this is meaningless; it has no bearing on my life or my salvation; it’s just wrong; the wrongness is a value judgment on my behalf.

I go back to Paul’s passage in Romans 7:15-20, one of the most grammatically challenging passages in the Bible, but its message is something we all can relate to.

Paul says, “I do not understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I do not do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. When I do the thing I do not want to do, it shows me that the Law is right and good. So, I am not doing it. Sin living in me is doing it. I know there is nothing good in me, that is, in my flesh. For I want to do good but I do not. I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I am always doing the sinful things I do not want to do. If I am always doing the very thing I do not want to do, it means I am no longer the one who does it. It is a sin that lives in me.”

Struggling with Repetitive Sin

We all struggle with sin. It is inherent within us to stray from God. The lure of the world is ever-present. That lure is not always selfish in origin; sometimes, it disguises itself as righteous indignation. We internalize our behavior as a way of making it more palatable. Sin finds a way of making us think that being right is better than doing right. Once being right is more important, we fail. We fail repeatedly, always wanting to improve but never quite getting there.

1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

The genesis of this thinking comes from a new project a friend and I are undertaking. As we grow older and watch our parents grow older, we want to avoid the pitfalls of aging. I don’t want to become that grumpy older man that people avoid. I want to be light in the darkness. As the saying goes, growing old is not for sissies. As we age past sixty, we realize we are slowly losing control of our everyday life. This loss of control can be frustrating.

So, my friend and I came up with a list of attributes that older people need to become aware of as they age. This list isn’t about how to live healthier or happier; it is about how to interact more positively with younger people who may not realize what you are going through. We then applied Biblical teaching to each attribute. This project was a self-improvement project, not an educational project aimed at others.

Understanding: Converting Information to Knowledge

Proverbs 17:27 – “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.”

The problem that came to light is that even knowing the issues, I still fall short. I struggle to convert information into knowledge, expecting it to become wisdom someday. I live my life like it is just information. Converting information to knowledge requires contextualization, evaluation, application, and reflection. We can not accomplish this in the rearview mirror; it must be forward-thinking.

I do not know myself; I don’t want to move my sin underground away from prying eyes, thinking sinful thoughts while responding with “Bless you.”  I want to turn away from sin altogether. Paul and I have a common problem. We know what to do; we don’t always do it.

The first step is engaging actively with Biblical concepts through discussions, teaching, or hands-on practice. Converting information to knowledge is active, not passive. Knowing something doesn’t mean you understand it and can apply it. In my case, I need to put our list of attributes into action and reinforce that action with discussions and introspection. We can not accomplish this in a vacuum.

Understanding: Converting Knowledge to Wisdom

Ecclesiastes 7:19 – “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.”

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”- Charles Spurgeon.

It gets trickier to change knowledge into wisdom. Wisdom requires time and experience. Wisdom comes from the repetitive practice of trial and error. It is about getting knocked down and getting back up repeatedly. We need to use each opportunity to teach us something new. You start to get a deeper understanding and recognize patterns. There becomes this interconnectedness between the existing state and the desired state of our being. We develop more empathy and emotional intelligence, not just for our being but the being of others. We can’t change others without first changing ourselves.

Final Thought

Paul was more extraordinary than I could ever hope to be, and he still struggled. I can not expect to experience anything different. What Paul did was constantly push back against worldly traits. He never conquered his sin, but he didn’t give in either. He battled it every day. I can not ask myself anything more than that.

James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”
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Wise, Foolish, and Evil

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, there are three types of people: wise, foolish, and evil. Every morning, I read from Regi Campell’s Radial Wisdom. It is radical mainly because it draws life lessons from scripture and provides a pragmatic application that creates action that day. On several days, Regi writes about Dr. Henry Cloud and his book, Necessary Endings. The fact that Regi hits this subject more than once made it stick.

Proverbs 9:10-12, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding, for through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."

Wise

Wise people evaluate their experiences, learn lessons, and apply them. As learners, they regularly humble themselves, own their mistakes, and look for ways to do better next time.

One of my favorite sayings from my dad is; If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. You can only learn from people who know more than you do. Life has never been about you; it is about those God puts in your path. Being wise means you slow down and use what God has given you to reach out to others. Much of what God gives us comes from our association with the people He connects us to.

Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

You can tell if a person possesses wisdom by how they present information.

Characteristics:

Sound Judgment: They make well-considered decisions and exhibit good judgment. They weigh the potential consequences of their actions and choose paths that align with long-term benefits rather than short-term gains.

Empathy and Compassion: Wisdom involves a high degree of empathy. Wise people understand and share the feelings of others, showing compassion and kindness in their interactions.

Humility: Wise individuals are humble, recognizing the limits of their knowledge and remaining open to new ideas and perspectives. They do not boast about their wisdom or look down on others.

High Emotional IQ: They manage their emotions effectively, staying calm and composed even in challenging situations. This emotional stability allows them to think clearly and act rationally.

Adaptability: They are adaptable and flexible, able to adjust their thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances. This ability helps them navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience.

Curiosity and Lifelong Learning: They maintain a curious and open mind, continually seeking knowledge and understanding. They recognize that learning is a lifelong journey.

These are the people you spend time with and learn from. They generally don’t suggest solutions but ask questions about pathways to solutions.

Proverbs 17:10, “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”

Foolish

A fool does almost the opposite of a wise person in every situation. Fools don’t take feedback or learn from their mistakes. They are full of blame and excuses.

Proverbs 26:1-11, "Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool.
Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.
Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.
Sending a message by the hands of a fool is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison.
Like the useless legs of one who is lame is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool.
Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
Like an archer who wounds at random is one who hires a fool or any passer-by.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."

The definition of a foolish person is one who does not evaluate their experiences and doesn’t learn from their mistakes. My dad used to say that a mistake is a bad thing that happened to you that you didn’t learn from. It is not a mistake if you learn something important. Foolish people don’t learn from mistakes and are generally defensive when discussing them. They place blame on others and make excuses. They don’t listen, take responsibility for their actions, and see themselves as the victim of their environment. Their life is riddled with mistakes.

Few people are one hundred percent foolish. All of us have our blind spots. We are partially foolish in that we deal wisely with some issues and foolishly with others. Dr. Cloud would advise us to take wisdom from their strength, but in areas of weakness, stop talking. It is always good to help illuminate consequences and set boundaries, but don’t expect change.

Characteristics:

Impulsiveness: Foolish people tend to act on impulse rather than reason. They may rush into actions without thinking them through, driven by immediate desires or emotions.

Stubbornness: They can be rigid and inflexible, unwilling to consider new information or alternative perspectives. This stubbornness can prevent them from learning and growing.

Narrow-Mindedness: They might have a limited perspective, failing to see the bigger picture or consider the interconnectedness of various aspects of life.

Overconfidence: Foolish individuals may have an inflated sense of their knowledge and abilities. They often overestimate their competence and underestimate risks.

Emotional Instability: Foolish people might be prone to emotional outbursts and poor emotional regulation. This emotional instability can result in erratic behavior and strained relationships.

Irresponsibility: Foolish individuals may avoid taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. They might blame others for their mistakes and fail to learn from their experiences.

Short-Term Focus: They often prioritize immediate gratification over long-term benefits. This shortsightedness can lead to decisions that are detrimental in the long run.

Stop talking to foolish people about problems because they aren’t listening anyway.

Proverbs 23:9, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.”

Evil

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that are just plain evil. They have dark hearts. Evil people want to hurt and destroy you, your family, your business, and your church. Your goal with evil people is protection. You can not talk them into or out of anything; they are entirely internally focused. God wants them redeemed, some may be, but leave that to God. Be careful how and when you interact with them until you feel a direct calling from God, not of your own volition.

1 Corinthians 5:11, “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”

Characteristics:

Lack of Empathy: They exhibit a profound inability to empathize with others. They are indifferent to the feelings and suffering of those around them and may even derive pleasure from others’ pain.

Deception: They are frequently deceitful, engaging in lies, manipulation, and betrayal. They use dishonesty as a tool to achieve their evil goals.

Exploitation: They exploit others for personal gain without regard for the well-being of those they exploit. This exploitation can be financial, emotional, or physical.

Narcissism: Many evil people exhibit extreme narcissism, believing they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for others’ rights and feelings.

Manipulativeness: They are skilled at manipulating others to achieve their ends. They may use charm, flattery, or intimidation to control and dominate those around them.

Parasitic Behavior: They often live off the efforts and resources of others, contributing little or nothing and taking advantage of others’ hard work and generosity.

Moral Disregard: Evil individuals often blatantly disregard moral and ethical standards. They do not adhere to societal norms of right and wrong and act according to their self-serving principles.

Aggressiveness: They are often aggressive and prone to violence. Their aggression can be physical, verbal, or psychological, and they use it to dominate and intimidate others.

Lack of Remorse: They do not feel guilt or remorse for their harmful actions. No matter how destructive, they may rationalize their behavior or feel justified.

Psalm 14:1, “They are corrupt, their deeds are vile, there is no one who does good,”

Don’t walk away from these people; run, for these people will rain evil upon you.

The Key

Surround yourself with wise people who can help you achieve God’s purpose in your life. Don’t spend time with the foolish. They will waste your time and divert you from a meaningful pursuit of God’s plan. Foolish people are time consumers. Evil people will always exist. Be quick to identify them and move them out of your life.

Most importantly, pray for everyone. You have no idea how God works in their lives and what plans God has for them.

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I AM THE STORM

Fate whispered to the warrior, “You can not withstand the storm. ” The warrior whispered back, “I am the storm.” This quote is from an unknown author, considered Genghis Khan around 300 BC. I wear this on my wrist to remind myself that I am the storm. If I live within God’s will for my life, I am an unstoppable force. No force in this universe can stop God from achieving His will in your life but you.

There’s good news for those who are besieged. Jesus Christ can give us the strength not only to stand but also to soar above the storm.

If you have God’s blessing upon your actions, you are the raging storm. Any problem in your life must be faced by the army God has put at your disposal. What stops us from being that storm is uncertainty. We struggle to believe we have the correct answer to one or both of these questions: Am I genuinely living within God’s will, and does God care about what I am going through?

Fate’s Storm
Genesis 1:26-28, "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."

We live in a broken world. We know that but forget that God has not relinquished control. He allows certain things because He has given man dominion, and He will not go back on His word. This commitment by God seems counterintuitive at times. Man creates so many problems for himself. If God can solve all problems, why doesn’t He? We have a lot of biblical theories about that; along with these theories, we must realize that no one knows God’s mind.

Romans 11:34, "For who among us can know the mind of the Lord? Who knows enough to be his counselor and guide?"

With our dominion, God also keeps control. He did not condemn us to a world out of control. God allows us to choose, and some choose unwisely. If we continue to seek Him, He will save us. See the story of Job. God made a wager with Satan when God stacked the deck in His favor, and He could not lose. Satan still doesn’t get that.

Matthew 28:18, "Jesus drew near and said to them, 'I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.'"

The fall of Adam and Eve has opened the doors to sin and evil. Sin and evil do not always visit us because of our actions but because of the fall. We experience turmoil and uncertainty every day. No one has been protected from calamity. We have all suffered.

Jeremiah 25:32, "Thus says the Lord of hosts, "Behold, evil is going forth from nation to nation, and a great storm is being stirred up from the remotest parts of the earth."
God’s Storm
Ezekiel 38:9, "You will go up, you will come like a storm; you will be like a cloud covering the land, you and all your troops, and many peoples with you."

We are the storm. With the power of God, it is we that fate must withstand. We rage against all things, not of God. God gives us stamina, discernment, patience, wisdom, and power to overcome the world. When we see the tsunami of life building on the distant horizon, we should turn to God. What will hit our shore may be a gentle wave or a rough sea, but never a tsunami.

James 1:6, "But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind."

We must calm ourselves, look fate directly in the eyes, and whisper, “I AM THE STORM.” I am God’s chosen. I am unstoppable. There is no need to blare and bluster. 

Job 30:22, "You lift me up to the wind and cause me to ride, And You dissolve me in a storm."

Fear not, for God is with you.

Psalm 18:30, "What a God he is! How perfect in every way! All his promises prove true. He is a shield for everyone who hides behind him."
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The Dopamine Experience

The dopamine experience, the runner’s high; gambling, extreme sports, or even drugs like cocaine and methamphetamines provide an emotional thrill. They all give us a sense of being bulletproof and invisible. It is like learning to fly without learning to land. The takeoff is exhilarating, but the ground is somewhat unforgiving, as are the consequences of unbridled emotions.

Ethereal Experience

The easiest approach to life is to let go, abandon all pretense, and allow your emotions to take over. There is something ethereal about not overanalyzing the moment. It can be momentarily euphoric to stop fighting the urge. It is a thrill-seeking behavior where anger triggers dopamine reward receptors in the brain. One of our great struggles is to build a wall between the person we are and the person God made us to be. At the moment, the person we are seems much more attractive than the person God wants.

James 1:20, "for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

Early in my adolescence, I didn’t understand the addictive nature of anger. I was a dopamine addict. Anger became its reward; the final consequences were always destructive, yet I followed the impulses in the moment without regard for them. Weirdly, I perceived the consequences as a result of the other person’s reaction, not my action. I was the victim.

The best revenge is to be unlike the one who performed the injustice. –  Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

We understand the implications of rage, but I think we underestimate its destructive characteristics. Anger is more subtle and less evil. It ebbs and flows with the circumstances of the day. Saint Augustine stated, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Anger is a slow-acting poison; the changes are driven from within, and it is hard for the angry person to notice.

Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry, and yet do not sin."

We all get angry; it is a visceral reaction to what we perceive as injustice. It is that instantaneous impulse to react, to do something. In that dopamine rush, the question is, what? It is tough to overcome our instincts. We are not rational; we are emotional. How do we change that momentum into positive change? It does not happen by resisting the urge but by redirecting it.

Proverbs 19:11, "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression."

Redirecting

We are become a more unforgiving society. We have our truth, and you have yours, but yours is wrong. I am less and less amazed by people who will stand their ground in light of the onslaught of facts to the contrary. We become so emotionally invested in a position we can not fathom an opposing view. Any fact that disagrees with my position is a lie, a fabrication, and fake news. There is only one truth.

Psalm 8:6, "You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet."

Redirecting our emotions is about reevaluating our perception of that truth. God oversees all things. That truth has the power to overcome any obstacle. I do not have to defend my position or even be right concerning my opinion. God has the final decision. If my position contradicts God, it will fail, even if I prevail in my argument. If my position is consistent with God’s will, it will happen whether others agree.

Read Acts 5:34-39, where Gamaliel says, “For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”


The way to redirect anger is to believe that God is behind everything that happens. You do not have to protect yourself from injustice; God will in his time. The timing may not be to our wants, but we don’t have control over it. The underlying feelings of weakness, insecurity, and lack of control are our perceptions, not reality. We can walk away knowing that the God we worship has this. It is not about being right or wrong but about accepting God’s dominion.

Final Decision

That is not to say that we shouldn’t speak to injustice; it is to say that it is not ours to achieve. God’s plan for us may intersect with a particular injustice, but the timing and outcome are still His. Your part is to mirror Christ; His part is to bring about changed hearts and souls.

Ephesians 4:31-32, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
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The Man in the Mirror or the Man Behind it

My thoughts today began with deciding whether I was the man in the mirror or the man behind it. We have all seen the detective TV shows where the suspect is in the interrogation room, and there is always a mirror on one wall. Both the suspect and the investigator know this is a two-way mirror. The suspects can only see themselves, but on the other side is a mysterious someone watching them. The man in front of the mirror is introspective, the man behind the mirror is judgmental. As I think about the arduous task of loving the unlovable, I realize I must stop being the man behind the mirror and become the man in front of it. I must stop thinking I am the mysterious stranger judging others when I am the suspect seeing myself.

Matthew 7:12, "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

I can only manage myself. It is God who manages others. It is He who changes hearts and mends broken souls. To many of the people I interact with, I am the arduous task they must perform. So, the beginning is to understand how I would like others to interact with me and then turn that around to understand how I should interact with them.

Being Me

When I am being me, I often stray. Sometimes, I am too preoccupied with my problem to focus on yours; I have an appointment or a call to make. Other times, rather than listening, I want to talk: OK, I understand the problem; here is the answer; let us move on. What may seem earth-shattering to you comes across as trivial to me because I will not experience the aftermath. I become frustrated because you keep talking when I am interrupting. The man in front of the mirror sees a man on a mission; he is focused. The mysterious person behind the mirror sees someone uncaring and self-centered.

2 Timothy 2:24, "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil."

There is a term non sequitur; it refers to a statement or inference that is not logically related to the previous context. When people think about themselves and disengage from the conversation, their responses can be non-sequitur. They seem out of the blue, as if the person you are talking with is having a separate conversation. That, my friends, is the first warning sign of the unlovable. That, at times, is me.

Acceptance

None knows the weight of another’s burden. – George Herbert

Dragging me back to reality is not an easy task. After all, if I’m not engaged with your current problems and have become one of them, how do you reengage me? It is not through criticism or judgment. That will only make me defensive. The entire conversation will spiral out of control, and no one will walk away happy. The answer is acceptance.

Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

I have found that when most people get upset, it has less to do with the current environment than previous actions that have finally come to a head. What preoccupies their thoughts is not the person in front of them but something else. Accepting that we are not the center of someone else’s universe is critical to understanding them. Everyone is juggling multiple situations and opportunities. I want people to understand that about me. I want you to know that I care about you but am conflicted by the world around me. It is not that I don’t care; it is, at the moment, not convenient to care. That is selfish and self-centered, but it happens.

Acknowledge, with compassion and love, that I am distracted. Could you help me prioritize my thinking? I may think my problem is more significant or timelier than yours. It may only seem that way because it is mine. When you care about me, I start caring about you.

Colossians 3:12, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

The Ethics of Reciprocity

Luke 6:31, "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

We started talking about about the man in front of or behind the mirror. Now I must switch places. If I want you to accept me for who I am and integrate that person into the conversation, I must do the same for you. I must set aside my agenda for a minute and allow you to express yourself. I must accept that this conversation has more to do with the past than the present. You will start caring about me only after I have shown that I care about you.

Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

It is sometimes called an ethics of reciprocity. But I prefer to say it is the natural behavior of someone who lives with God at the center of their life. I must understand that I am in that interrogation room with a stranger behind the mirror every moment of every day. I am either drawing them closer to Christ or pushing them away. People I will never engage with will see my behavior and decide. But am I acting in the way I do to avoid condemnation, or is it because God’s love for me has changed my love for humankind? Is it reciprocity, or is it the natural state of my being? It is a daily struggle for most people because it is reciprocity: am I getting value for my effort? To indeed have a Godly heart is a manifestation of who you are.

Philippians 2:1-3, "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind."
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We Were Born to Thrive

We Were Born to Thrive is the title of Casting Crowns song. I love the context of their message. God made us for more than ordinary lives. How true. This thinking is the type that raises the average person above the din of everyday life. It is an attitude that helps us live as conquerors rather than victims. I met a lovely teenage girl on the airplane flight back from Honduras. She was reading “1984”. I found it interesting that one of today’s teenagers reading something philosophical. We got to talking about seizing opportunities. God will continue to give us opportunities to excel, but we must seize them. To do that takes courage and faith.

Proverbs 19:8, “He who cherishes understanding prospers.”

Thrive or Survive

Over almost three-quarters of a century here on earth, I have noticed one major difference between those who thrive and those who survive. Those who thrive are constantly looking for new opportunities to exploit. They are in tune with God’s purpose in their lives, and they seek challenges. They see failure as a learning experience. Those who spend their lives surviving are more likely to play life safe. God must hit them over the head several times to get them to move. Failure is a wrong turn or a waste of effort; it is a mistake to be avoided.

Proverbs 14:23, “Work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty!”

God created us to thrive. This idea is not prosperity-gospel; it is spiritual awareness. It is not thriving in worldly fortune and fame but in the spiritual sense of peace, compassion, and love. Worldly prosperity is yours by default if you can achieve those three things. Conventional wisdom is not about what you make but what you spend. God’s economy includes who you spend it on and with.

Proverbs 11:25, “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

Even in Darkness

Lauren Daigle talks about how every decision God has put in front of her has led her to where she is today. At sixteen, God had given her a vision of her future. Just as it was starting, COVID shut it down. She recalls 560 days of silence and loneliness—the disappointment was suffocating. God always said to hold it loosely. Her eyes lost sight of who was most important. Now she sings to please Him, to bask in His presence, and success has followed.

Psalms 42:8, “By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.”

Lauren Daigle – You Say

The path forward is not always straight, level, or wide. But the path forward, as directed by God, is the easiest. To truly thrive, we must seize the opportunities He has given us. They are not always easy, and they don’t always make sense. Disappointment will raise its ugly head. Challenges won’t make sense. But they are part of a bigger plan that God has prepared for you in advance. For us to live to our potential is to live for Him.

Conquerors

We are conquerors. We have an army of angelic hosts guarding our backside and God Himself leading us. Wars are fought on the battlefield of life, not in the boardrooms. To win is to have the courage to follow Jesus and seize the opportunities He has presented you. Do not leave this spinning blue orb as something less than God made you. Don’t just go through life; live it as God intended.

Ecclesiastes 3:13, “And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.”

Your life should be a symbolic throne for God to sit on. Don’t look around at what God has done in your life and think you earned it, deserve it, or are entitled to it. Stay humble on the backside of all that God will do through you. Compassion, peace, and love will be yours.

Psalm 122:6, “They shall prosper that love you.”
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A Truer Version of Ourselves

A truer version of ourselves should be the goal of every believer. It is the drive within us to be something we do not quite understand. It is a paradox, a puzzle: a fuzzy image of who we could be if we could stop being who we are.

A speaker at a conference made this statement: “We are being remade into a truer image ourselves.” That sentence echoed through my brain for several days. It summed up my struggle. As I move from who I made myself into being toward what God made me, I am transforming into the person God has always wanted me to be. What an incredible thought.

Jeremiah 31:3, “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

 Chrysalis

Within God’s protective casing, He radically transforms who we are.

We struggle for our identity, yet it is already within us; we need to find it. Years ago, I wanted to hike the Estelle Mine Train trail in northeast Georgia. I wanted to travel it because it followed the route of an old narrow gauge mine train that went from Pigeon Mountain, through seven tunnels, to what was once Estelle, Georgia. I thought it would be neat to hike the tunnels. Once on the trail, I realized this “right of way” hadn’t been used since 1924. The tunnels shrouded by time had their entrances partially covered by rock slides and overgrowth. Finding the tunnels took some effort and determination. I had a map and the stories from the internet of the hike. Even with all of that, some were almost impossible to find.

God gives us the map, and He gives us the stories in the Bible, but finding a truer version of ourselves is still hard to achieve. In my case, I try too hard. I feel that God’s actual plan for me is massive and mysterious. It is a grand puzzle I must solve. To get the prize, I must endure, overcome, and remain steadfast, all the superlatives we hear in church. Finding my one true self is the ultimate goal of being a Christian and following Christ. Without sacrifice, it has no value. That’s crazy talk.

Psalm 143:10, “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”

Imaginal Discs

They are the highly organized groups of resources needed to become who God made us to be.

The challenging part is to be calm, immersed in scripture and prayer, and listen to God’s voice. It is a whisper in the night. It is the nudge that will not go away and the itch that needs to be scratched.

There is a variation of a great quote from CS Lewis that I love: “Give me the longing the scent of a flower I have not found, the echo of a tune I have not heard, and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” CS Lewis’ quote ended with “and news from a country I have not yet visited” in place of “and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” The quote I use here came from a Christian work of fiction that I no longer remember and can’t find a reference. I see a grace so powerful in my mind that it changes all the lives I touch as if it were supernatural radiation of pure white light that illuminates everything upon which it falls.

I hope you can think of the imagery: the scent of a flower I have not found… the echo of a tune I have not heard…., and the struggle we feel to find our true selves. The struggle is in the unquenchable desire to be that person. Every fiber of our being longs for it. It is what God made us before we existed. And yet we know it not.

Butterflies

Just like the Butterfly, God created the transformation from a chrysalis to achieve His desired results. The Butterfly does not get to choose; it is simply obedient to the call.

Part of finding and living our purpose is quieting our minds to hear God speak. He gives us all the breadcrumbs through passion, skills, opportunity, and resources. But to apply all of this to His kingdom takes direction. That direction comes from God through scripture, prayer, and council.

Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

You don’t have to reinvent yourself to be a truer version of yourself. It is not a monumental task that takes years to achieve. God has made you to be that person. He has instilled greatness in each of us. But it must be His greatness, not ours.

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”  – Napoleon Hill.

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Peter Went Fishing

Peter went fishing.  Sometimes, that is the best thing to do.

John 21:3, "Simon Peter said, "I'm going fishing." "We'll come, too," they all said.  So they went out in the boat."

I listened to a sermon last Easter, and this verse stood out.  I thought, how human of Peter.  It is interesting what we do to clarify our thinking; we gravitate to our comfort zone.

After Christ’s Crucifixion, He appeared to the disciples in the upper room to receive the holy spirit.  Even though the disciples, Peter included, saw Jesus alive and touched the scars, it didn’t seem real.  The disciples were heartbroken and disillusioned.  They thought they had followed the savior of the world only to see Him crucified.  How would a dead man, resurrected or not, free them from Roman rule?  They didn’t know what was next.  They knew Christ was the beginning of something great but didn’t understand what that was.

John 6:15, "Then Jesus, realizing that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, withdrew again to the hillside by himself."

Peter did what we all do: gravitate back to what we know.  We find busy work to occupy our time until we figure out what’s next.

HOW DOES GOD USE THESE MOMENTS

Interestingly, this passage brought back two memories for Peter: good and not-so-good. First, the good: Peter first met Jesus when he was fishing.  He had fished all night, not caught anything, and Jesus asked him to throw his net again.  Jesus’ request of Peter was precisely what happened the second time when Peter went fishing after the Crucifixion. The second memory is Jesus cooking fish over a charcoal fire on the beach.  Peter might have remembered the last time he smelled a charcoal fire; he denied Christ three times.

I firmly believe God does not waste energy; everything has a purpose.  When Peter was at his lowest point, God returned two essential images.  The first was the joy of meeting Jesus and his immediate dedication to Him.  This image had to lift his spirits.  The second was the image of his weakness.  It was a backward glimpse of what the world would be like if Peter didn’t believe.  It brought back all of the pain he felt when that rooster crowed.

I can’t speak for Peter, but for me, it would have reinforced why I have to hold on to the goodness of Christ’s promise and run from my weaknesses.  It would be both a push and a pull: push away from doubt, pull closer to faith.

WHAT TO DO WHEN LIFE DOESN’T SEEM FAIR

James 1:3, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance."

“No matter what storm you face, you need to know that God loves you. He has not abandoned you.” – Franklin Graham.

We tend to go fishing.  We want to break away from the uncertainty and draw close to something we know and understand.  That is OK for a time, but it doesn’t produce results like Peter.  It is nothing more than a temporary holding place to regroup.

Like Peter, we need to be reminded of the past.  We need to remind ourselves of the great things God has done for us and through us.  The glory of the past leads us toward the future.  We also need to be reminded of what it is like to deny Christ.  As dark as the world can seem, it is nothing compared to separation from Christ.  To live without hope has to be the darkness within darkness.

Romans 8:35, "Who will separate us from the love of Christ?  Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"

HAPPY ENDINGS

Christ built His church on the rock named Peter.  If you are willing, He will raise you out of the malaise of your life.  He will use all you have gone through to create an even brighter future than you could have imagined.

Matthew 16:18, "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it."

God may not create a worldwide revival through you, but what He will build through you, the gates of Hades, will not overcome it. The power you have at your disposal is incredible; we sometimes lose that. When things don’t go as we think they should, we forget the redeeming power of Christ’s resurrection.

Whenever you feel the darkness closing in, remember Peter.  You and Peter have a lot in common.

John 16:33, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world, you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
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A Testimony to Anger

This is a testimony to anger and a path to a better life. This post is my personal journey with anger, from being consumed by it to finding love instead. I used to be fiercely angry, aimless, and dangerous. Picture an energized metal ball bouncing unpredictably through the lives of others. That was me—without direction, without control. My anger lost its origin over time; there was a trigger once, but it faded, leaving behind only a lingering sense of rage. It became my identity. I know this because I lived it throughout my teenage years and early adulthood. My anger was pervasive, coloring everything I saw and did. I couldn’t satisfy it; it constantly craved more fuel, whether it was a perceived slight, a sideways glance, or a hint of condescension.

Proverbs 29:11, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."

Others tried to offer assistance, but I stubbornly refused to listen. In my mind, the problem wasn’t my anger; it was everyone else’s foolishness. I believed it was their issue to deal with, not mine. Reconciling with the root cause of my anger seemed futile because it had long ceased to exist. My expression of frustration wasn’t always through overt anger; it mostly manifested as sarcasm, skepticism, or a tendency to take the opposite stance.

“To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious is brutish; and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of devils; but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine.” – Isaac Watts.

What Changed

My job required me to interface with construction workers. I was visiting a job site when a Control Foreman took me aside. We walked over to his pickup truck. He opened the passenger side door and then the glove compartment. After which, he pulled out a silver revolver, not to threaten me or try to intimidate me; he just made a statement. He told me I was an adult, and if I couldn’t find a way to control my anger, one of these would be my end. Someone could be desperate enough to do the unthinkable. I was angry, not stupid; I understood. I had to change.

Ecclesiastes 7:9, "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."

The transformation was gradual, spanning over many years. Initially, I didn’t focus on suppressing my anger but rather on controlling how I expressed it. Despite the turmoil within, I managed to hold back the words that would have otherwise poured out in frustration. Yet, this approach felt draining and unsustainable. I knew there had to be a more effective solution.

Turning to the Bible was a decision born out of necessity rather than religious fervor. Though I had been baptized in my youth, my understanding of its teachings was minimal. My intention wasn’t to seek salvation but rather to find a practical solution to my inner turmoil. I committed to reading its cover every year for eight years, drawn to its wealth of wisdom on navigating life (Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, for example). Even if Jesus were merely a fictional character, the advice attributed to him was undeniably thought-provoking and insightful.

Matthew 5:22, "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment."

What Really Changed

The actual testimony to my anger transformation started slowly with a book by Lee Strobel entitled “The Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus.” Strobel methodically goes through the historical test used to validate any ancient text. These are the same criteria used on all historical documents to validate the authenticity of their writing. Lee Strobel was an atheistic former legal editor of the Chicago Tribune. He challenged a dozen experts with doctorates from schools like Cambridge, Princeton, and Brandeis concerning their evidence concerning the New Testament. He concluded that the New Testament was accurate and historically true. Christ walked the face of the earth. His death and resurrection happened. The miracles were not make-believe.

Now I had a decision to make. What is my response if everything written in the New Testament is historically true and Jesus did what is written to have done? It was one of the watershed moments in my life. I needed to go to church. I needed the input of others to understand my new revelation better.

What is Still Changing

Colossians 1:16, "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."

The change that is still going on in my life is that I now understand that God cares for me as an individual, not as part of a collective whole. He created me uniquely and specifically for the purpose He has for me. His will can not be denied or thwarted. I do not have to defend myself; He will do it for me. He has ultimate control. People do not offend me; they offend Him and His creation.

Ephesians 4:26,  “In your anger do not sin"

Even now, the lingering testament to my struggle with anger is my persistent quest for control. This misplaced desire often leads to frustration, igniting the familiar flame of anger within me. I’ve come to recognize that this aspect of my personality is part of how God has designed me. However, I’ve also gained insight into the purpose and meaning behind my anger. It serves as a signal, indicating when I’ve strayed from God’s intended path for my life. In those moments, I take a deep breath, seek forgiveness through prayer, and endeavor to realign myself with His will. Only by surrendering to His purpose can I truly find peace within.

For those of you who struggle with anger, I pray that God gives you the courage to surrender to His will and reap the peace that comes with that surrender. 

Ephesians 1:4-6, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."
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