Having a calling: do we have a calling, and if so, how would we know? I often think about this and talk with others about it because I spent most of my life chasing the wrong dream. I felt that God’s natural and spiritual gifts were the same or at least variations of the same. My passion for my vocation was the same as my passion for Christ. I believed He made me chase what I chased for a God-given reason. Regi Cambell, in his Book “Radical Wisdom” made this statement:
“A secular endeavor approached from a spiritual perspective is spiritual.
A spiritual endeavor, approached from a secular perspective, is secular.”
Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”
Over half a century of getting knocked down to my knees, then getting back up only to be knocked down again, have taught me that I am not good at creating my calling. God created it in me; I needed to stop fighting it and grow with it.
John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
Calling is that umbrella that sits over all things in your universe. It not only includes the tools that God has given you: skills, passion, relationships, vocation, experience, and knowledge, but also spiritual gifts. This transformation of worldly traits into spiritual realms is what powers you to a higher purpose and meaning.
THE LIST
Here is a simple list of “thoughts” that might help inspire you to think more deeply about your calling.
Give Freely: The accurate measure of your life lies in what you give away—not just money, but your time, attention, and compassion.
Beyond Accumulation: What you accumulate in life loses its value once you’re gone. Yet, it often defines the worth of our lives.
Selfless Living: Those who dedicate the latter part of their lives to selfless service rarely wish to trade it for hobbies like fishing, traveling, or golfing.
Act Now: It’s wise to engage in meaningful actions while you have the time, health, energy, and resources. We never know how long these will last.
Time Awareness: Many of us realize that time is running out, and it’s the one thing we cannot save for a rainy day.
Meaning Over Measure: A calling is more about its intrinsic meaning than measurable outcomes. Focus on your intent, not just the impact.
Fear of Significance: Our fear of making a significant impact can prevent us from making the most meaningful contributions.
Emotional Burden: A calling is driven by your emotional burdens, soft skills, and feelings rather than your background or hard skills.
Embrace Your Burdens: Reflect on what keeps you up at night. Don’t suppress these feelings—let them guide you and allow God to work through them.
Learn by Helping: A calling often starts by assisting others. Learn from them, and let their passion ignite yours.
Focus on People: Your calling is about the people God places in your path, not necessarily the specific tasks or destinations.
Disobedience Indicator: You can recognize your calling if not pursuing it feels like disobedience.
Success Redefined: Measure success by your actions, not by what you achieve. Ask yourself, “Did I do what was asked of me?”
Outcome Independence: Your responsibility is to fulfill what God asked you to do, regardless of the outcome.
2 Thessalonians 2:14, “He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
THE CHALLENGE
The challenge for most overachievers is that they want to be the next great tsunami. They want to be that transformable wave that changes destinies and lifts lives. They want what they do to ripple through eternity like rolling thunder. Me too. But that is not the path before most of us. The path is a path of obedience to small things that will someday lead to great things, mostly after we have left his spinning globe.
Do not fail to do what you can while waiting to do something significant. What is significant to God is a life lived as a reflection of His love and care for all humankind. Calling isn’t a mountain to climb but a step out the front door. It is a decision to focus on people, not tasks or destinations. It uses the personality and traits God created in you at inception to serve the people God puts before you.
2 Peter 1:10-11, “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
Randomness seems so random. Simple concepts sometimes catch my attention. One of them is randomness. Did you know you cannot prove randomness; you can only disprove it? Just because you can not find the pattern in a sequence does not mean it doesn’t exist. But if you find a pattern, you know it is not random.
Interestingly, this also applies to a lie. If I had said that I was at home last night by myself, then the only way to prove I lied was to prove where I was. If you can’t prove the truth, the lie stands. Just because someone did not see me doesn’t mean I wasn’t out somewhere.
INCIDENTAL ME
Psalm 139:13-14,"You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this."
Let’s start with the most random event in my life: being born a white male in the United States during the 1950’s. The answer is incredibly small, 0.065%. That is sixty-five one thousand of one percent. Each of us has a number like that in our existence. For example, the probability of a male being born in Zaire in the 1970s is 0.14%. That means it was twice as likely to be born male in Zaire in the 1970s than in the US in the 1950s. My dad had a college degree, making him among the only 6.2% of people in the United States with a degree. That means only 43 out of every million people born in the US in 1950 shared my start in life. There were only 3 million births in the United States that year. In the world, as a whole, there are less than 140 people who started life with what I had. Why is this important?
Isaiah 64:8,"Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay; you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
God is not random. The odds of my existence, 0.004304%, are not random. I take for granted that I am who I am. I do not question my heritage. But my existence, although seemingly random, is specific. God planted me here and when for His purpose. What I have experienced in my life is not the product of random behavior. It is part of a carefully crafted plan for all of creation. Do you believe that about yourself?
ARBITRARY YOU
Jeremiah 1:4-5, "The Lord gave me this message: "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."
I get the incredible opportunity to meet people from all over the world who God created in a much different environment. Sometimes, it is hard for me to understand the context of their existence. Those are fancy words: “I don’t get how you can accept who you are and where you are.” I find insane potential with limited opportunity. But, just as I am a carefully crafted person, designed for a specific plan in God’s kingdom, so are they. So are you.
Every Christian is born great. Greatness is inside every new creation. This greatness is what makes you unique and distinguishes you from others. – Justice Kojo Bentil
When we spend too much time trying to be someone else or somewhere else, we are disputing the sovereignty of God’s wisdom. God created our purpose and meaning before we became aware of it. The country, ethnic group, economic status, gender, education, and even our disabilities are part of the careful crafting. In our weakness, we are made strong.
Psalm 139:16, "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
What we choose to do with that craftmanship differentiates who we become. Do we see ourselves as a victim of randomness or part of a glorious plan to save all of humankind? Are the events of our lives the random results of living in a broken world? Is God crafting us to be unique within His kingdom, or is He accepting what life makes us?
THE GREAT PLAN
Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
I apologize; I had an unequaled head start in most of the world. I did not recognize it for what it was and squandered the first half of my life, thinking it was normal and random; 0.004304% had to be random. Now I know that you, me, and every other person on this planet are specifically created to achieve a purpose designed within us at birth. It is not random; the creator of the universe intentionally crafts it. We, and we alone, get to choose.
Psalm 139:2-4, "You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord."
Understanding myself; evolving from information to wisdom. Like many Christians, I struggle with obedience. I have gotten to a place where I don’t struggle with the big decisions, but I struggle with the everyday reactions to meaningless situations. I become emotionally highjacked by simple events. Things that I can stand back and say to myself, this is meaningless; it has no bearing on my life or my salvation; it’s just wrong; the wrongness is a value judgment on my behalf.
I go back to Paul’s passage in Romans 7:15-20, one of the most grammatically challenging passages in the Bible, but its message is something we all can relate to.
Paul says, “I do not understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I do not do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. When I do the thing I do not want to do, it shows me that the Law is right and good. So, I am not doing it. Sin living in me is doing it. I know there is nothing good in me, that is, in my flesh. For I want to do good but I do not. I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I am always doing the sinful things I do not want to do. If I am always doing the very thing I do not want to do, it means I am no longer the one who does it. It is a sin that lives in me.”
Struggling with Repetitive Sin
We all struggle with sin. It is inherent within us to stray from God. The lure of the world is ever-present. That lure is not always selfish in origin; sometimes, it disguises itself as righteous indignation. We internalize our behavior as a way of making it more palatable. Sin finds a way of making us think that being right is better than doing right. Once being right is more important, we fail. We fail repeatedly, always wanting to improve but never quite getting there.
1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
The genesis of this thinking comes from a new project a friend and I are undertaking. As we grow older and watch our parents grow older, we want to avoid the pitfalls of aging. I don’t want to become that grumpy older man that people avoid. I want to be light in the darkness. As the saying goes, growing old is not for sissies. As we age past sixty, we realize we are slowly losing control of our everyday life. This loss of control can be frustrating.
So, my friend and I came up with a list of attributes that older people need to become aware of as they age. This list isn’t about how to live healthier or happier; it is about how to interact more positively with younger people who may not realize what you are going through. We then applied Biblical teaching to each attribute. This project was a self-improvement project, not an educational project aimed at others.
Understanding: Converting Information to Knowledge
Proverbs 17:27 – “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.”
The problem that came to light is that even knowing the issues, I still fall short. I struggle to convert information into knowledge, expecting it to become wisdom someday. I live my life like it is just information. Converting information to knowledge requires contextualization, evaluation, application, and reflection. We can not accomplish this in the rearview mirror; it must be forward-thinking.
I do not know myself; I don’t want to move my sin underground away from prying eyes, thinking sinful thoughts while responding with “Bless you.” I want to turn away from sin altogether. Paul and I have a common problem. We know what to do; we don’t always do it.
The first step is engaging actively with Biblical concepts through discussions, teaching, or hands-on practice. Converting information to knowledge is active, not passive. Knowing something doesn’t mean you understand it and can apply it. In my case, I need to put our list of attributes into action and reinforce that action with discussions and introspection. We can not accomplish this in a vacuum.
Understanding: Converting Knowledge to Wisdom
Ecclesiastes 7:19 – “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.”
“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”- Charles Spurgeon.
It gets trickier to change knowledge into wisdom. Wisdom requires time and experience. Wisdom comes from the repetitive practice of trial and error. It is about getting knocked down and getting back up repeatedly. We need to use each opportunity to teach us something new. You start to get a deeper understanding and recognize patterns. There becomes this interconnectedness between the existing state and the desired state of our being. We develop more empathy and emotional intelligence, not just for our being but the being of others. We can’t change others without first changing ourselves.
Final Thought
Paul was more extraordinary than I could ever hope to be, and he still struggled. I can not expect to experience anything different. What Paul did was constantly push back against worldly traits. He never conquered his sin, but he didn’t give in either. He battled it every day. I can not ask myself anything more than that.
James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”
According to Dr. Henry Cloud, there are three types of people: wise, foolish, and evil. Every morning, I read from Regi Campell’s Radial Wisdom. It is radical mainly because it draws life lessons from scripture and provides a pragmatic application that creates action that day. On several days, Regi writes about Dr. Henry Cloud and his book, Necessary Endings. The fact that Regi hits this subject more than once made it stick.
Proverbs 9:10-12, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding, for through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."
Wise
Wise people evaluate their experiences, learn lessons, and apply them. As learners, they regularly humble themselves, own their mistakes, and look for ways to do better next time.
One of my favorite sayings from my dad is; If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. You can only learn from people who know more than you do. Life has never been about you; it is about those God puts in your path. Being wise means you slow down and use what God has given you to reach out to others. Much of what God gives us comes from our association with the people He connects us to.
Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
You can tell if a person possesses wisdom by how they present information.
Characteristics:
Sound Judgment: They make well-considered decisions and exhibit good judgment. They weigh the potential consequences of their actions and choose paths that align with long-term benefits rather than short-term gains.
Empathy and Compassion: Wisdom involves a high degree of empathy. Wise people understand and share the feelings of others, showing compassion and kindness in their interactions.
Humility: Wise individuals are humble, recognizing the limits of their knowledge and remaining open to new ideas and perspectives. They do not boast about their wisdom or look down on others.
High Emotional IQ: They manage their emotions effectively, staying calm and composed even in challenging situations. This emotional stability allows them to think clearly and act rationally.
Adaptability: They are adaptable and flexible, able to adjust their thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances. This ability helps them navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience.
Curiosity and Lifelong Learning: They maintain a curious and open mind, continually seeking knowledge and understanding. They recognize that learning is a lifelong journey.
These are the people you spend time with and learn from. They generally don’t suggest solutions but ask questions about pathways to solutions.
Proverbs 17:10, “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”
Foolish
A fool does almost the opposite of a wise person in every situation. Fools don’t take feedback or learn from their mistakes. They are full of blame and excuses.
Proverbs 26:1-11, "Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool. Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest. A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. Sending a message by the hands of a fool is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison. Like the useless legs of one who is lame is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool. Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. Like an archer who wounds at random is one who hires a fool or any passer-by. As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."
The definition of a foolish person is one who does not evaluate their experiences and doesn’t learn from their mistakes. My dad used to say that a mistake is a bad thing that happened to you that you didn’t learn from. It is not a mistake if you learn something important. Foolish people don’t learn from mistakes and are generally defensive when discussing them. They place blame on others and make excuses. They don’t listen, take responsibility for their actions, and see themselves as the victim of their environment. Their life is riddled with mistakes.
Few people are one hundred percent foolish. All of us have our blind spots. We are partially foolish in that we deal wisely with some issues and foolishly with others. Dr. Cloud would advise us to take wisdom from their strength, but in areas of weakness, stop talking. It is always good to help illuminate consequences and set boundaries, but don’t expect change.
Characteristics:
Impulsiveness: Foolish people tend to act on impulse rather than reason. They may rush into actions without thinking them through, driven by immediate desires or emotions.
Stubbornness: They can be rigid and inflexible, unwilling to consider new information or alternative perspectives. This stubbornness can prevent them from learning and growing.
Narrow-Mindedness: They might have a limited perspective, failing to see the bigger picture or consider the interconnectedness of various aspects of life.
Overconfidence: Foolish individuals may have an inflated sense of their knowledge and abilities. They often overestimate their competence and underestimate risks.
Emotional Instability: Foolish people might be prone to emotional outbursts and poor emotional regulation. This emotional instability can result in erratic behavior and strained relationships.
Irresponsibility: Foolish individuals may avoid taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. They might blame others for their mistakes and fail to learn from their experiences.
Short-Term Focus: They often prioritize immediate gratification over long-term benefits. This shortsightedness can lead to decisions that are detrimental in the long run.
Stop talking to foolish people about problems because they aren’t listening anyway.
Proverbs 23:9, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.”
Evil
Unfortunately, there are people in this world that are just plain evil. They have dark hearts. Evil people want to hurt and destroy you, your family, your business, and your church. Your goal with evil people is protection. You can not talk them into or out of anything; they are entirely internally focused. God wants them redeemed, some may be, but leave that to God. Be careful how and when you interact with them until you feel a direct calling from God, not of your own volition.
1 Corinthians 5:11, “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”
Characteristics:
Lack of Empathy: They exhibit a profound inability to empathize with others. They are indifferent to the feelings and suffering of those around them and may even derive pleasure from others’ pain.
Deception: They are frequently deceitful, engaging in lies, manipulation, and betrayal. They use dishonesty as a tool to achieve their evil goals.
Exploitation: They exploit others for personal gain without regard for the well-being of those they exploit. This exploitation can be financial, emotional, or physical.
Narcissism: Many evil people exhibit extreme narcissism, believing they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for others’ rights and feelings.
Manipulativeness: They are skilled at manipulating others to achieve their ends. They may use charm, flattery, or intimidation to control and dominate those around them.
Parasitic Behavior: They often live off the efforts and resources of others, contributing little or nothing and taking advantage of others’ hard work and generosity.
Moral Disregard: Evil individuals often blatantly disregard moral and ethical standards. They do not adhere to societal norms of right and wrong and act according to their self-serving principles.
Aggressiveness: They are often aggressive and prone to violence. Their aggression can be physical, verbal, or psychological, and they use it to dominate and intimidate others.
Lack of Remorse: They do not feel guilt or remorse for their harmful actions. No matter how destructive, they may rationalize their behavior or feel justified.
Psalm 14:1, “They are corrupt, their deeds are vile, there is no one who does good,”
Don’t walk away from these people; run, for these people will rain evil upon you.
The Key
Surround yourself with wise people who can help you achieve God’s purpose in your life. Don’t spend time with the foolish. They will waste your time and divert you from a meaningful pursuit of God’s plan. Foolish people are time consumers. Evil people will always exist. Be quick to identify them and move them out of your life.
Most importantly, pray for everyone. You have no idea how God works in their lives and what plans God has for them.
I’ve never heard anyone regret praying. I certainly haven’t. While some may be hesitant to pray or feel like some people are still waiting for answers, no one ever regrets turning to prayer.
Prayer can be challenging. We ask for what we want, yet acknowledge that God acts within His will. When asked, “Does God answer prayer?” the typical response is that He does so with a yes, no, or not now. This response, while accurate, can feel unsatisfying.
James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” Understanding this, we realize that while we may not always get what we want when we want it, God’s blessings still come. I’ve prayed for the same person’s salvation for thirty years without seeing it happen. Does this mean they never will? Not necessarily. Free will play a role. Do I regret those prayers? Never.
When Does God Hear Our Prayers?
How attuned is God to us when we pray? How quickly does He hear us?
Isaiah 65:24 assures us, “It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.”
God, who created everything effortlessly, knows the plan He has for each of us. He is aware of every detail of our lives. The balance between God’s predestination and our free will is a mystery we must accept.
Colossians 1:16 reminds us, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”
God knows our hearts and our prayers before we speak them. We pray because God yearns to hear our voices. He longs for us to come to Him willingly, rejoicing when we acknowledge our need for Him. By turning to Him in prayer, we honor Him.
1 John 5:14 states, “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
When Does God Answer Our Prayers?
If God knows our prayers before we speak, when does He answer? He begins to act immediately. The complexity of answered prayer is beyond our comprehension, considering the ripple effects across billions of lives.
E. M. Bounds said, “I think Christians fail so often to get answers to their prayers because they do not wait long enough on God.”
In Daniel Chapter 10, an angel sent to answer Daniel’s prayer was delayed by evil forces and needed the Archangel Michael’s help. Satan opposes answered prayer, but God always prevails.
Revelation 20:10 assures us, “And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.”
God works on our behalf even in our frustration, disillusionment, or shortage of faith. We might not always see it, but He is there. The answers we receive may not always align with our desires, as our perspective on eternity is limited. However, no one ever regrets praying. Being in the presence of God and sharing our frustrations has intrinsic value. God loves us, understands our struggles, and longs to hear our voices.
Ephesians 6:18 encourages us, “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.”
The Unending Value of Prayer
No one ever regrets prayer. Praying and reaching out to God is a profound expression of faith and trust. In prayer, we find comfort, strength, and the assurance that God is always listening and working for our good.
Live like Jesus. You must first embody those principles within yourself to inspire others to believe and act in a certain way. The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” often used by parents, suggests a disconnect between advice and action. It implies that their guidance should be followed even when they might not be perfect. However, this can come across as, “I don’t have to act right, but you do.”
Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?"
Many non-Christians perceive Christians in one of two ways: either as people who believe the only actual sin is that of others or as people who think, “We are both sinners, but God has forgiven me, but not you.” Both perceptions reflect a hypocritical, self-absorbed form of Christianity that lacks inclusiveness.
Jesus Spent Time with Everyone
Jesus spent time with non-believers, demonstrating that we are all sinners, including His disciples. He was often criticized for the company He kept and for criticizing the religious leaders’ hypocrisy. Jesus connected with non-believers out of genuine care. He did not condemn them for their lifestyle; instead, He encouraged them, showing compassion and grace. He knew many would still not believe, but this did not change how He treated them.
1 John 2:6, "Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked."
People are drawn to Jesus because they understand who He is, not just what He said. His words explained His nature and His love drew people in. This attitude allowed Him to guide them towards living a life more like His. Jesus’ appeal was otherworldly, breaking the mold of traditional religiosity. He ended performance-based religion, offering salvation through faith instead of sacrifice.
Embrace Positive Action
Sin is not irrelevant, but behavior driven solely by compliance and acceptance is devoid of love. It is a performance-based mindset focusing on the negative. In contrast, behavior driven by a desire to be like Jesus and to treat others with compassion is grounded in the positive. The goal is not merely to avoid hell, which is the natural outcome for those who have not accepted Christ, but to live as Christ did.
Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children."
Do you avoid sin to keep God happy or strive to be like Jesus? Is your focus on avoiding wrongdoing or on doing what is right? Christ’s sacrifice means we no longer need to perform sacrifices to please Him. He delights in those who aspire to live as He lived.
What Can You Give Away?
Reflect on what you hold dear. Does a need for Christ’s acceptance drive your life? Do you believe your behavior, church attendance, Bible study, mission trips, and memorized verses endear you to Christ? Do you judge others by their compliance?
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot.
When Jesus encountered someone struggling with their sin, He felt compassion. He understood their pain, anxiety, fear, and loneliness. Jesus cherished love, acceptance, and the desire for them to find rest. While it is easy to judge others, it is more challenging to understand and accept them into the body of Christ.
Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Not everyone will respond positively to your invitation, but that doesn’t mean they never will. Transformation is possible only through the redeeming power of Christ. Live like Jesus, and allow Him to work through you.
Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."
“If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.” – Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres
Recognizing Facts and Moving Forward
Understanding that some issues are beyond resolution can be liberating. Consider the example of a parent who may not have provided the ideal level of support during your upbringing. This might have impacted your self-esteem or emotional growth. While this situation is unfortunate, it’s a fact of your past that cannot be altered. Instead of dwelling on the unchangeable, we can focus on how to move forward positively.
The Power of Perspective
How we handle problems differs significantly from how we accept facts. Problems can be dissected, analyzed, and tackled step-by-step. The future is open to influence and transformation. Conversely, some life circumstances are immutable, whether they stem from the past or exist in the present beyond our control.
1 Peter 3:9, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
Problem-solving is part art and part skill. Some tried and true approaches help minimize the impact of problems. There are strategies for breaking a problem into manageable parts and solving each at a time. Sometimes, solving a problem requires playing a hunch or rolling the dice but in a predictable manner. The art must be grounded in skill. But how do we deal with a problem without a solution?
Navigating Unsolvable Problems
An insightful lesson from my college days comes to mind. I had a calculus professor who always put one problem on the test that did not have a solution. Although his responsibility was to teach us math, he also felt compelled to teach us about life. A student would flunk the test if they didn’t concede that some problems are unsolvable. They would spend all their time working on one equation that had no answer, leaving the other, solvable problems, unattended. Once students understood this, they were more careful about how they spent their time during the test. Now, the question is to decide which problems are complicated or unsolvable.
James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”
Accepting and Adapting to Facts
Many of us struggle to accept unpleasant facts, which can lead to frustration and wasted effort. Embracing reality allows us to redirect our energy towards meaningful pursuits. Acceptance paves the way for peace and purpose, freeing us from the burden of trying to change the unchangeable.
Romans 8:31, “What shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Creating a Positive Path Forward
A problem without a solution becomes a fact, and accepting it is the first step towards progress. We must forgive past transgressions, whether ours or others’, and focus on what we can influence. For instance, dealing with different personality types isn’t about changing others but adjusting our approach to create productive interactions.
1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
Living with Compassion and Faith
Compassion can transform relationships and situations. Slowing down, being humble, and accepting solutions beyond our control can lead to extraordinary outcomes. Trusting in Christ and embodying His love helps alleviate stress and anxiety, leading to smoother paths in life.
Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Trusting in Divine Guidance
Recognizing that God’s love can overcome all obstacles is empowering. Many of life’s challenges are, in fact, unchangeable, and we must turn these over to God. Instead of struggling against the inevitable, we can seek guidance, patience, and a way forward through faith.
John 8:36, “So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”
By embracing facts and focusing on what we can influence, we open ourselves to a life filled with peace, purpose, and the transformative power of faith.
Crazy Love is the name of my favorite coffee shop. Its genesis is scripture and the crazy pursuit of God toward us foolish humans. It got me thinking about love. Not the visceral reaction to lust. I was thinking about how God ingrained in us the desire to love and be loved. Have you ever been deeply in love, real love, crazy love? The love that stops your heart and makes you say and do stupid things. A love that makes you want to do anything to please the one you love.
Again, it is not trivial acts like gifts, romantic dinners, and vacations. I’m talking about real love—the type that makes you wash the dishes, take out the trash, and hold the door open. You know you are in love when doing the mundane is your love language. Have you experienced the type of love whose genesis is a deep understanding of the emotional needs of the one you love? It is not about winning their affection but showing yours. It is selfless.
“A wise lover regards not so much the gift of him who loves as the love of him who gives.” – Thomas Kempis.
Song of Solomon 8:6-7, “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”
WILD LOVE AS A FORCE
Love is a force that transcends time, culture, and belief systems. It has the power to heal, inspire, and transform lives. What is it like to love someone so much that you will subject yourself to enormous emotional pain? Physical pain is understandable; there is a source and maybe a remedy. Emotional pain is irrational, without a focus, and its only remedy is time. We all have experienced the dark side of love. We all have a first crazy love or an unrequited love that gave us that moment that stood still, life stopped, and we couldn’t breathe. As painful as it was, we crave it again. We want to feel desperate love. But at the same time, we fear its control.
1 John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love.”
I have been with friends who have lost the love of their lives; the pain was suffocating. Many suffer from long-lasting depression. But, the degree of pain is directly proportional to the level of love. If they had not loved deeply, there would be no pain. The pain they feel is a blessing created by the love they have had the joy to experience. No love, no pain. Great love, great pain.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ― Jamie Anderson.
PASSIONATE LOVE AS AN EXPERIENCE
I remember the great loves of my life; most were flawed, nothing more than a chemical reaction. If I allow myself, I can still feel the pain of their departure. Secretly, I crave that feeling again, not the pain but the love. I will accept the pain to experience the love.
John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
That is how God loves you. God will take out the trash and hold the door open for you. He has given his life that you might live. God isn’t a lover who showers you with trifling gifts to make you happy. He is tied into the very heart of your emotional needs. The pain He feels at your transgression must be immense. Imagine Him taking all that pain for every person that ever lived. Great love, great pain.
1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
I don’t think we take the time to think about how much He loves us. We intellectually understand that He loved us to the point of death, but we haven’t tied it to our experience. We somehow think the love God has embedded in us differs from His. God made us in His image; why would it be different? Why would God’s pain in our absence be less than our human experience?
PURE LOVE AS A SALVE
Colossians 3:14, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”
Next time God is an inconvenience or maybe too much work, think of the pain you are causing Him. Not because you have transgressed, He can deal with that, but because He lost your love. God yearns for our love just as we yearn to love and be loved. But He does it for eight billion people and still counting.
2 Corinthians 5:13-14, “ If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.”
Pray without ceasing. I must confess I do not understand prayer. I know God answers prayer because I have seen it repeatedly. But I see the macro-level outcome, not the micro-level decision-making. Here is my analogy of experiencing prayer. I am watching this great painter paint a masterpiece, marveling at the use of color and space. I see this image slowly appear. In the end, I see what the painter had in mind. But I never see what the painter thinks as they move the brush around the canvas. I do not see their intent or motivation. Is the image they had the same as the image I see?
1 Thessalonians 5:17. "Pray without ceasing."
That is what prayer looks like to me. I can look at my past and see God moving in my life. I see outcomes I could not predict or imagine come to fruition. But what I do not see in the actual act of answered prayer. I know God is working in my life, but to what end? Again, at a macro level, this all makes sense. God created me to glorify Him. That is the macro-level view. And maybe that is all I am to care about.
The greatest tragedy of life is not unanswered prayer but unoffered prayer. – F.B. Meyer, British pastor, author, and evangelist
MICRO-LEVEL PRAYER
But at the micro-level, what are the mechanisms that drive the outcome? This conundrum boils down to predestination and free will. It is that weird and complex interaction between God knowing everything before it happens and me getting a chance to change my future by deciding. This contradiction is baffling at best and downright irritating at its worst. I must admit that part of this is the control aspect of my personality. I have no problem giving up control if I know what the controlling entity plans to do, I do not even have to agree with what they plan to do if I can anticipate the outcome. God’s not like that. God understands our limitations. He knows that we can not foresee the eternal impact of His decisions. I guess He doesn’t want to get involved with endless answers of “why?”
Romans 12:12, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
PRAYER WORKS
So, prayer works. I can tell you hundreds, if not thousands, of answered prayers, all in hindsight. I can walk you through my life from early childhood, pointing out the mile markers God placed there. He did this long before I had a relationship with Him. God created me with a purpose. Somehow, I must live up to that purpose, but He already knows my decision. Sorry, I’m getting a headache.
If prayer works, even without my understanding, what does that mean? Pray without ceasing. First, prayer changes me. It allows me to go over issues with God and receive His wisdom. Sometimes, that wisdom is peace with the outcome before I know it. Sometimes, I know He listens and cares deeply about what I am going through. He empathizes with my situation and that I can not see its impact on eternity. I leave prayer at peace.
Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."
Second, I must pray. I know of people and situations I cannot keep to myself. I know God already knows and has a plan, but I cannot keep quiet. My soul needs to vent and cry out. It isn’t about getting what I want or changing God’s mind; it is about compassion, love, and uncertainty. If I keep it bottled up, it will fester into a viral cancer, destroying who God made me. Prayer is the pressure value that allows me to move forward.
Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Lastly, pray when you have no words. When life covers you like a dense fog, and you are left sightless, let your Spirit speak. God does not leave us on an island to fend for ourselves. He knows our weaknesses.
Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING
Brother Lawrence, a lay brother in a Carmelite monastery in Paris, wrote in his book “The Practice of the Presence of God” that we should cultivate a constant awareness of God’s presence in everyday life, creating continual conversation with God, making every moment an opportunity for communion with the Divine.
We see blessings in the rear-view mirror. Sometimes, we will not see them this side of heaven. God is wonderful and mysterious. He cares deeply about you and the issues in your life, even the tiny, mundane issues. God saw all of it as He formed you. God knows your idiosyncrasies; God created them. He knows your fears and phobias. God gave you a way around them. We find this out through prayer.
Matthew 6:6, "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Forfeiting your soul sounds drastic, even unthinkable, but very possible. I just returned from Honduras; I have twenty-one business cases to review and countless other tasks. My internet has been out, so I am far behind. All the “good” I intended to do is now a rat race against time. I replaced the compassion that drove me from the start with an urgency to finish.
Matthew 16:26. "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"
MY SOUL
I’m not concerned with losing my salvation; God is too loving and compassionate for that. I am concerned with losing the soul of my being. In my quest to serve, will I lose the very essence of servitude? The most outstanding achievers in this world, who sacrifice to be the best, are selectively neglectful. They intentionally chose not to let certain things enter their lives that might distract them from their goal. Many of these people go on to achieve great things but, in the end, regret what they sacrificed to achieve it. Interestingly, we realize the importance of things only late in life. The important things turn out to be people.
Just think, you’re here not by chance but by God’s choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are. He compares you to no one else – You are one of a kind. You lack nothing that His grace can’t give you. He has allowed you to be here in this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation. – Roy Lessin
We try to be significant by being successful, smart, famous, rich, strong, popular, or good-looking. But there is always someone more successful, smarter, famous, richer, popular, and good-looking. If worldly standards define your significance, you will always come up short.
Jesus told the young rich ruler, “Sell all your possessions and give them to the poor.” But that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was, “Then come and follow me.” We think the hard part is giving our wealth to Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, or Honduras or giving a week or two to serve others. But it’s not. The hard part is living like Jesus every day.
Matthew 19:21, "Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
THE TRADE-OFF
As a high type “A,” I am goal and commitment-oriented. At times, I am way too pragmatic for my good. The trade-off I face now is: do I achieve a goal and live up to a commitment, or do I serve? Do I take as long as it takes to do justice to those I came to help, or do I meet the minimum standard so I look good in meeting a timetable? Do I gain some level of respect by being seen as a doer, an achiever, or a man of my word, or do I do what is right knowing that it will be an inconvenience in the short term, but in the long term, better serve God’s will in other people lives.
1 Corinthians 2:5, "So that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God."
The problem is that, just like myself, people don’t always see God’s plan for their life. Giving food to people experiencing poverty isn’t just about meeting short-term needs; it is more about the eternal impact of salvation. These business plans are not about making a living; they are about using what God has given every one to impact their community for Christ. Rushing through the temporal analysis of the business and not giving justice to the eternal impact the business can have on its community is to nullify the primary purpose.
The business must be successful to sustain evangelism, but an ongoing enterprise without Christ is meaningless.
PRIORITIES
God’s way is better than your way. His plan is bigger than your plan. His dream for your life is more rewarding, more fulfilling, better than you’ve ever dreamed of. Now stay open and let God do it His way. – Joel Osteen
The concern is not eternal salvation; it is losing the soul of your being. Do I trust God enough to set aside my priorities to serve Him? Does my obsession with who or what I think I am or should be, override who God made me to be? Do I trust in God’s outcome over mine?
As I was leaving Honduras, I was physically exhausted, mentally drained, and uncomfortable. In those times, I become very quiet and introspective. I looked over at the phone of one of our Honduras helpers, and her screen said:
1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
God speaks, not in a booming voice, but a whisper. Because He cares for me, He will not waste my time on meaningless tasks. What He has me doing has value in the lives of others even when I don’t see it. It is His plan, His timing, and His outcome. He allows me the joy of being part of it.
When God created you, He created a dream and wrapped a body around it. – Lou Engle
