Success is a Fickle Master

“Every poet and musician and artist, but for grace, is drawn away from the love of the thing he tells to the love of telling it…” – CS Lewis

I was reading CS Lewis’ book, The Great Divorce. This book is a retort to William Blake’s book “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell,” in which Blake expounds on the convergence of good and evil. This passage above pricked my interest. 

The target of this particular statement is a ghost who upon hearing that all artists are equal in Heaven gave in to the sin of vanity because he would not stand out as a well know artist in Heaven. It demonstrates that we can get so caught up in our ability to tell a story or encourage or lend a helping hand, that we forget the intent of doing it in the first place. I have been part of an organization that I eventually had to step back from because it soon became about me and not the organization. I had this belief that I, and only I, had the God-given ability to achieve greatness. I grew to believe that the performance was solely the result of my vision, my ideas, and my tenacity. I started to associate the organization with my self esteem. In my head I became the brand, not the organization. This is a virus that will kill the enthusiasm of every living thing it touches.

Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Success is a fickle master. It will drive us to accomplish great things and, at the same time, takes away that which matters most. As we sprint through life, we forget our destination. God uses our need for validation to keep us on track. Without validation, we feel lost, wandering, burning valuable resources in a lost cause. But God’s validation keeps us on course.

John 5:31, “If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true.”

The Encounter

One of the more surprising rocks in my life came from an encounter over a decade ago. I was volunteering with a prison ministry, Bill Glass’ Champions for Life. It was time-consuming because a weekend event required leaving on a Thursday night. After driving several hours, or even flying to a destination, I checked into a hotel, I would serve through the weekend, and then reverse the process. Many times, as I left home, I wondered if this was the best use of my time. Working with the inmates was tremendous; the journey was arduous. The challenge was that I didn’t know if I was creating lasting change.

This particular weekend I was getting PC work done by a small firm behind Georgia Tech. If you were from Atlanta, you would understand the Inside-Perimeter verse Outside-Perimeter paradox. I’m an outside guy who seldom ventures inside. The business wasn’t in the worst part of town, but it’s not the best either. It was a bleak industrial park close to the old Atlantic Steel Mill property. That property was under construction, producing what now is Atlantic Station, a multi-use commercial-residential-retail community. Getting my PC fixed would take some time, so I went to the corner to a McDonald’s. After parking my car, a man approached me. He was a construction worker from the Atlantic Station project.

First, he apologized for the inconvenience. Then he explained that he had just been hired to work construction next door. He confessed that buying work boots, a hard hat, and other stuff required for the job left him without bus fare until payday. Payday was tomorrow, but that didn’t help today. He only needed a couple of dollars. I had been to the ATM and only had twenty-dollar bills. I was about to give him one when he blurted out that he had been in prison. He wanted full disclosure of the person he had been.

Curious, I asked him what prison. He said Parchman Mississippi, remember we are in downtown Atlanta Georgia. I said I had been in Parchman Farm. “Farm” always seemed an oddity as Parchman Farm was the common name for Mississippi State, the oldest maximum security prison in the Mississippi Correctional System. He looked at me perplexed and asked why? I responded with my story of Champions for Life. He beamed. “Wait, wait,” he said as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet. Out of this worn and cherished piece of cowhide came the Bill Glass Four Spiritual Laws. He was radiant over the discovery that we had a common bond. He regaled me with the story of his conversion and the change it had made in his life. He was animated, happy, almost giddy over it.

I was stunned. I came downtown to get a PC repaired and ran into an encounter with God. I was dumbfounded. The odds were so incredible that they were inconceivable, except for the hand of God. God used this moment to validated my work. He knew what I needed and erased my doubt.

A sidebar on this event was that when I was leaving for home, I saw this same man taking a homeless woman into McDonald’s. He saw me and yelled, “I only needed a couple of dollars, so I am spending the rest on her.” The ripple effect through eternity is breathtaking. 

The Moral

God validates our good works. The risk comes from taking that validation too far. We start thinking that we have some supreme power that makes us indispensable to Christ. That is where CS Lewis’s warning comes in. When we forget who we serve, forget from whence of gifts come, start keeping score, we lose our real sense of purpose. It is always about the people you are sent to serve.

Proverbs 22:4 “The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.”

The Greatest of These is Love

1 Corinthians 13:13, “But now these three things abide: faithhopelove; but the greatest of these is love.”

There are days when there is both joy and pain in what God tells me. I want some alone time, suppressing everything distracting. But it is not to be, the world will shortly wake up and a new day will begin

.God speaks to me in short sentences that are not easy to remember. The clarity of a moment ago is lost in the present.

I cannot recapture what God has told me this morning, but I will try. It had to do with the importance of love and correspondingly loss. How are these two concepts united? I have a sense of longing for deep, true love. This longing is both good and bad. Good because it is built within all of us to love and be loved. Destructive because that longing can become an obsession. It drives many of us to do things that are contrary to God’s will for our lives. When this happens, we come into conflict with the very God that breathed life into our lungs. This conflict invariably brings pain and a sense of loss.

11 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Many of us, most of us, and maybe all of us; have come into conflict with love. We have loved mightily and lost. We have felt the searing pain that goes to the very marrow of our bones. It is so intense that we have to remind ourselves to breathe. It so envelops our being that we think that it will never cease. There will be no relief. There are not words or actions that will make it go away. We start to see this pain as an extension of ourselves, part of our DNA. It has permanently transformed us.

The lucky ones overcome this feeling and love again. The unlucky ones live with it in solitude for the rest of their lives.

This morning I look at the relationships in my life. I know that my existence is because God has a purpose for me. I will pursue that purpose with abandon. It is what keeps me going. I also know that all of the deep relationships I have around me will someday bring me a sense of loss. That loss will come through death or disappointment. Just as my passing and possibly my actions will bring suffering to others. All earthly relationships end — the stronger the love, the greater the pain. I will not forsake the love to avoid the pain; it is because God first loved me. God experience incredible pain to show the extent of his love. He gave His son to die on the cross. God will forever live with the knowledge of that sacrifice. It is part of who He is, and it ripples through eternity.

Romans 5:8, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

So, I sit here in the darkness of early morning, embraced by the God of the universe, trying to make sense of who and what I am. I am a survivor. Like all survivors, I wear the scars of my battles — the more extraordinary my triumph, the deeper my scares. Death would release me from all of this, but it would rob me of the joy of life. I am an alien here on earth. My home is in heaven. 

Philippians 3:20, “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

While I am here, I am driven by love to take as many people as I can home with me. To do this, I must overcome my fear and love them as long and as deeply as humanly possible. My obsession should not be for the comfort of being loved, but the joy of loving.

There will come a day of rest, but not before my work here is done

James 2:18, “But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.”

When Life Turns into a Dumpster Fire

I didn’t sleep last night. It was one of those nights when I couldn’t turn off the thoughts racing around inside my head. Most of them came and went like dried leaves on an autumn breeze. A few, the important ones, wouldn’t leave me alone. They wanted answers, and I wanted to sleep. We compromised; they didn’t get their answers, and I didn’t get my sleep.

The context of the most troubling thoughts were things that meant a lot to me but didn’t go as expected. These weren’t errant drives off of the fourth tee; they were heartaches. They were things I wanted but didn’t get. In one case, it cost me everything. My inner self wanted to know why.

There is this propensity to believe if we live a good life, God will bless us with good things. Not exactly prosperity gospel, but close in a non-material way. A feeling that we should somehow be rewarded for doing what is right in God’s eyes. After all if I take the time and money to serve God’s people wouldn’t God smile on me?

Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Tim Keller said, “The basic premise of religion– that if you live a good life, things will go well for you– is wrong. Jesus was the most morally upright person who ever lived, yet He had a life filled with the experience of poverty, rejection, injustice, and even torture.”

Tim answers the age-old question: Why do bad things happen to good people? Christ, Himself, was subjected to immense trauma just because He wanted to save the world.  We live in a fallen world with dark forces outside of our control. These forces are always trying to defeat us. If we let them, they will.

Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

With all that happened to Job (Job 1-42), God did not feel the need to tell him why (Job 38:1-18). What God does tell Job is that He, God, is in control of everything and that He is all we really need. God will provide. He will heal our hearts and restore our future.

Isaiah 40:28-31, “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

I want a warm and fuzzy answer that will help me sleep, but there isn’t one. We are in the midst of spiritual warfare. Dumpster fires in our life will blaze out of control until we lay down the water hose and call on God. I want to know why. It breaks my heart not to know. But I am at peace with the knowledge that, if I let Him, He will redeem me from the fire and set me on high. Experience has taught me this one very valuable lesson; no matter how disappointing things are in the moment, if it is God’s will, it will be the best in the long term.

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. “

Lawyer vs. Witness

One of the essential reasons to align yourself with God’s plan for your life is that it is a beacon to others.

1 Peter 2:15, “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.”

I once heard it said that God does not need a lawyer. He needs a witness. Our job is not to defend the existence of God, but to serve as an example of His existence. 

The challenge with being His lawyer is that we will need to supply the answers to people who don’t ask the right questions. There then is legality to our existence as if there was a formula. That formula solved all the problems and answered all the questions. The truth is that God hasn’t given us all the answers, and we are not smart enough to ask all the right questions. There is an aspect of God that we cannot fathom. God lives outside the natural laws of our existence. We are not in a position to defend His existence. 

Being a witness is less complicated. All we need to be able to say is: “This is how God worked in my life.” It is a reality that cannot be disputed because we lived it. We own the facts of the situation. Others can hypothesize alternative realities, but they cannot replicate the actual event. Our testimony is, “I was there. I had the experience.” 

2 Timothy 2:15, “Make every effort to present yourself before God as a proven worker who does not need to be ashamed, teaching the message of truth accurately.”

Of course, being a witness brings with it the need to have something about which to witness. To truly have a compelling story to tell, we must rely on God. We can’t serpentine through life using our own will and expect to witness Christ’s redemptive powers. To be a credible witness, we need to submit to God’s will and allow for His direction in our life. Surrendering to the will of God is hard work. It is hard work only because our ego and self-centeredness are strong forces. They push and pull us to act independently. We have this innate arrogance that we don’t need help.

Our testimony starts with the understanding that there will be a temptation, turmoil, and tribulation in our life. Some of it is self-inflicted gunshot wounds, and some of it is outside our control, but none of it is outside of the redemptive power of Christ. Anxiety and stress do not have to be the norm in our lives. We can achieve peace even when circumstances do not change. Acknowledging that God has a plan for our life and that plan is to prosper, not destroy will give us hope. With hope, we can find peace. 

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Pursuing God’s plan for our life is worthwhile as it gives us a life worth living. It also provides the testimony to others that the assurances God gives to us through scripture are real. Our life needs to reflect God’s character so that others might see it. The closer we are to becoming the very thing that God created us to be, the better the testimony we have. We do not have to know what God has in store for us; we need to be continually working toward finding it. With the journey comes the testimony. 

Hebrews 13: 21 “(Now may the God of peace) … equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

In pursuing God’s plan for our life, get up and do something small. Something small might be having coffee with someone who you admire to find out what they know. As we slowly expand your activities, we will start to understand what we like and don’t like. We will gain experience that will further encourage us. The goal is not to go on a mission trip or lead someone to Christ; it is to be more Christ-like. The key is consistency. Every day think about it, pray about it, read about it, and do something.

Hebrews 10:36, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

In time a plan will start to form as we get a clearer picture of where God wants us. The initial idea might be to add a skill or experience. Working that plan will provide more information for the next idea. Each new step will get us closer to the ultimate goal of using your passion for God’s purpose.

The day will come when we realize the tremendous testimony we have to God’s overwhelming grace. We will stand out to others as a faithful witness to God’s character. 

Ephesians 5:15-17, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Living with Purpose

Proverbs 16:1, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.”

The Setup

I write about things with which I struggle. God has blessed me. It is so obvious and blatant that I would be a fool to try to hide it. Along the way I have made terrible decisions. I have run and hid and lied to avoid accountability. I have let my ego and my selfishness direct my steps. All of this to say: I’m human.

Because I live in this diametric world where I am blessed and simultaneously rebellious, God having a plan for me that perpetuates God’s kingdom on earth seems ludicrous. I have strong Christian friends that are so wholly convinced of the assurance of their salvation that they think I am simple-minded. Assurance is: certainty about something or a positive declaration intended to give confidence; a promise. Christ gives us assurance, not a guarantee.

They feel I am complicating the process of sanctification, and they may be right.

Now I am neither seminary-trained, nor do I want to be perceived as having answers, so I want you to know this is a personal concern for me. I read the series of passages below and can’t help but think: I have a role in my sanctification. I cannot save myself, but I can deceive myself into believing I’m saved.

Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast”

James 2:17,” Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Matthew 7:22-23, “On that day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many powerful deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you. Go away from me, you lawbreakers.”

Matthew 22:37-38, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

These verses paint a picture for me that it is through grace I am save by the blood of Christ, but it has to move from head knowledge (consciousness, reasoning, logic, habits, skills, values) to heart knowledge (spirit, surrender, trust, brokenness, character), and the outward display of that transformation will be a change in behavior driven by love.

The Caveat

There are no hidden clauses in the Bible. God is very straight forward. Salvation is too important to play games with. If you have to “interpret” a verse, maybe you are reading too much into it or crafting it to your desires. Here are some examples of “IF” statements that God uses to clarify our sanctification.

Matthew 6:14-15, “Jesus said: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

John 14:15, “Jesus said: “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”

1 Corinthians 15:2, “By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.”

Genesis 4:7, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

Exodus 19:5a, “Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.”

Deuteronomy 6:25, “And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.”

Isaiah 48:18, “If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”

John 15:14, “Jesus said: “You are my friends if you do what I command.”

The Delivery

The struggle I am dealing with is not what I do, but why I do it. God has a plan for me; we know that from scripture. I can accept that and mechanically work through the process. But if I sleepwalk through his purpose, I miss the point.

I am reasonably adept at teaching micro-enterprise development, I know how to write and review business plans, and I can evaluate opportunities. All of this is mechanics. It is head knowledge enhanced with experience. It is not what God wants me to do. It is a tool he wants me to use. What he wants me to do is love the lost.

Loving the lost is different; it’s complicated. Not because I perceive the lost are not worthy of love. It is because I don’t know them, I don’t have a relationship with them. They are strangers. For some people loving others, having compassion for them, and being able to show empathy comes easy. I am not one of them.

God built me to be goal-driven. You set a point on the horizon, and then you drive toward it. All ships rise on the same tide. I believe in pragmatically helping people. I believe in giving them fish until they are strong enough to fish for themselves.

Reread Matthew 22:37-38 above; it defines the point on the horizon we are to drive towards.

The Payoff

Ephesians 1:18, “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.”

God does an amazing thing when I step out in faith: He gives me a new heart. It is incredible. A stranger can approach me, and I sense their need, not their physical need, it’s deeper than that. There is a draw to them. There is a neediness about them that they can’t hide with small talk and witty sarcasm. It makes me want to know them better. It’s an exciting experience. To experience this, I have to have the guts to step out of my shell and speak to them.

Ali Baba used “Khulja simsim” to open the cave of the 40 thieves. God used “Can I help you?” to open the door to my heart. As they talk and I listen, God works on both of us. I find these conversations the most stimulating conversation I ever have. These are wonderful people who are in an unfortunate position not unlike my own.

It’s always about people. 

This post takes you a long way around the block to say: pay attention to the real purpose, not just the tools God puts in your life to achieve the purpose. Don’t deceive yourself and, in doing so, jeopardize your salvation. It’s not about activity.

What is your legacy?

Legacy: a gift or a bequest that is handed down, endowed, or conveyed from one person to another. There is a grander scope of legacy that entails all of the things you have done, or not done, to improve the world in which you live. I think of that as the Billy Graham effect. The Martin Luther’s of the world dramatically redefine the way we look at salvation. The Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s who change the way we look at each other. These are bigger than life Christian warriors who left an indelible mark on all of humankind.

Proverbs 13:22: “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

The legacy I was thinking about today was more ordinary and every day. It is the legacy we leave behind with our family and friends. Throughout life, there are great opportunities to speak truth to those we love. We do it instinctively with our children if we have them. We sometimes get a chance for a late-night chat with siblings. Maybe we get serious with a close friend over coffee. The opportunity to leave a lasting impression doesn’t come often. Many times, we are not prepared; we may not even see the moment for what it is. But it is there, and it will echo through time. That impression, good or bad, will be remembered and passed on. I can’t count the number of times I have referenced my dad in a conversation. His wisdom is worth passing on.

2 Timothy 2:2, “And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”

The concern that is rattling around in my brain today is the invisible legacy that casts a shadow over everything I do. Finding and living the will of God in my life is important to me because I genuinely feel it is why God created me. That should be reason enough. Today I realized there was another reason, just as important. When my friends, family, children and grandchildren see the impact that this has on my life, it influences their life. As I ramble on about passion and joy and fulfillment, they can’t help but be changed.

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Chasing my passion, pursuing the man that God intended me to be, is paramount to leaving a lasting positive legacy for those who come in contact with me. It is one of the tools that God uses to influence others to do the same. My commitment to follow Jesus in all that I do is the marker on the trail of other people’s journeys. It is not just what I say; it is what I do; it is who I am.

I have an obligation to find that man that God intended for me because it influences the future. It starts a domino effect that creates value long after I am gone. Living on the center-line of God’s plan for me not only enriches my life, but it also enriches the lives of all who see it. It is the beacon on the hill, the light in the darkness. It gives others who see the fruit of my labor hope.

Last year I was on the Volunteer Committee for the Super Bowl here in Atlanta. We triaged 18,000 applicants into a mighty force of 10,000 volunteers aimed at making a lasting positive impression on the almost one million visitors while they were in Atlanta. One of the unexpected experiences I had over the 10-day Super Bowl event was six in-depth conversations with volunteers, whom I had never met, concerning living their lives with purpose. At that time, the same as now, I was trying to “see” God’s plan for me as I moved into another season in my life. I chased God’s plan for me with Joy and anticipation, thoroughly looking forward to the future. They saw it and wanted the same thing for their lives.

For various reasons, they were struggling with where life had taken them. They were not so much dissatisfied as they were unsatisfied. Life was not bad; it just wasn’t as good as they thought it could be. They lamented the disappearance of unifying experiences in our fragmented society. There was no commonality of values. We talked about how employment and careers have changed over the last few decades; the discussion came around to how to face the future. I confessed that my faith was my anchor. God explicitly created us to achieve a great purpose for Christ. That was it. Line up your life with the very reason for your existence, and joy will follow.

Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

In full disclosure, I did tell them that I thought this was a lifelong endeavor. I said it was more of a journey than a destination. But it was a path worth following. As a result, lives changed. These people saw an alternative to what they initially perceived. After one conversation, people don’t become disciples, but maybe they become seekers, and that is a start.

We should follow Christ not just for our benefit but for the benefit of those who see us. It is a lasting legacy planted in others that will perpetuate God’s kingdom on earth.

Philippians 4:8-13, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. “

The Life of a Tent Maker

Paul was a tent-maker. That was his day job; it sustained his ministry.

Acts 18:3, “and because he was of the same trade, he stayed with them and they were working, for by trade, they were tent-makers . “

Paul continued to pursue his vocation as a tent-maker throughout his life. Including the time Paul was an enforcer for the Sanhedrin, and after his conversion. We can assume he was reasonably good at it. But being good at something and having a passion for something are two different issues completely.

We mistake being good at something for being passionate about that same thing. After all to be good at something you need to practice it, you need to study it, you need to stay at it for a while. Why would someone put that much effort into a dispassionate endeavor? There are a lot of reasons. You could deem that your material life would be better off if you had this particular vocation. You might feel more accepted in your social circle if you had a specific skill. For some children, their parents ingrain in them the idea that they should have a particular profession or vocation when they grow up, so they chase it to make our parents happy.

In America, what I see more often than not, is that we come out of school and need to earn a living. We don’t know what is out there, so we take the available job. We might do some high-level filtering like; I like talking to people, or I don’t like working with numbers. But for the most part, we need to pay the rent. That starts a vicious cycle of more bills, more money, more obligations, more money. We become good at something because it meets this basic need.

But the vocation that Paul was good at was not his passion. When asked who he was, he would not have answered “tent maker”.

1 Corinthians 16-17, “For when I preach the Gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me.”

Paul lays out his passion for preaching the word. He was compelled to preach. Paul had a firm grasp on his calling and love, and it wasn’t tent-making.

As we look toward the future to try to understand God’s plan for our life, we need to take a lesson from Paul. Our vocation might be an essential element in God’s plan for us, as it provides sustainability in our ministry. We might not need or want to walk away from our “day job” when we transition closer to God’s plan. It may not be our passion, but it may be part of the program. It is a skill and a resource God gave to us to use for His purpose. 

Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD, not for human masters.”

I need to make a point here; Paul did believe that those who share the Gospel could receive compensation. If full-time ministry is your calling, then God will find a way for you to monetize (earn a living from) it. Here is what Paul says:

1 Corinthians 9:11 “If we have sown spiritual things among you, is it too much if we reap material things from you?”

1 Corinthians 9:14, “the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the Gospel.”

Galatians 6:6 “One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches.”

Sustainability is important. If what you are chasing is truly God’s plan for you, He will provide the resources. From experience, I should remind you, the present using the past to create the future, remember that? The season of your life might change. Don’t view that as a lack of sustainability. Look at it as the cost of tuition.

I need you to find me

1 Peter 1:8-9 “You have not seen him, but you love him. You do not see him now, but you believe in him, and so you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy because you are attaining the goal of your faith—the salvation of your souls.”

Things come to me from odd places. I was watching the movie “Find Me.”, I gravitated to it because it was about hiking. It’s a love story, I’m a guy I know, don’t judge me. I won’t ruin the storyline, but a statement struck me, “I need you to find me.” It was like a lost little voice from within. It had a hint of desperation. It was the voice of the man that God wanted me to be. It was a plea. It was lost and wanted to be found.

I never really thought that the life I was looking for was waiting to be found. The visual of this is hard for me to describe. I see a great love lost in a dark forest of discouragement. The trees of disappointment and lost dreams are blocking out the sun. This great love forages for food and stays warm at night by the campfire while I bask in the sun. God made me this man of great passion and achievement, and I have sequestered him in the recesses of my mind.

See, the problem is that he is not practical. He has great plans and great enthusiasm for things he cannot be. He doesn’t worry about the bills or going to work. He cares little for the aggravation of traffic or the passing of time. He speaks of adventure. He speaks of usefulness without compensation. He wants me to believe that I can exist in a world of joy and fulfillment, and God will provide.

He is real. He is in my mind, pushed down by life.

Proverbs 10:28 “The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.”

The reality is the picture is painted backward. It is I who live in the forest of discouragement. The man that God wants me to be lives in a world of light. The trees of my forest are bills and jobs and traffic. I have come to believe that being the person God wants me to be is the struggle and living life, is natural and more uncomplicated. This view of life is not valid. Each has its struggles, but only one has eternal rewards. God admonishes us in Luke 11:35, “Then watch out that the light in you is not darkness.”

1 John 1:5-6 “Now this is the gospel message we have heard from him and announce to you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in the darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth.”

As I struggle to find my way, it is encouraging to know that I am not alone. Through the Holy Spirit embedded in me, I have a guide. I do not have to pull the real me out of darkness; I need to walk toward the light.

When lost in the darkness of the world, always walk east toward the horizon and sunrise will come.

Ephesians 5:8-9 “for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth).”

The Need to Love and be Loved

1 Corinthians 13 is one of the greatest chapters ever written in the Bible. If you don’t know it, print it and put it on your bathroom mirror. Make it part of the fabric of your life.

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This chapter sums up the struggle of all of human existence; the need to love and be loved. If I looked deeply into the cause of almost all of my human frailty, the core would be either not loving enough or the feeling of not being loved enough. Our ego, our self-esteem, our insecurities, our self-image are all rooted in this one concept. How healthy is our perception of being loved?

John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I want a love so great that I would die for it. I want it to envelop me, protect me, fulfill me, be the very air that I breathe. I want it to be all-consuming and overwhelming. I want it to be grand and incredible and scary. I want it to stop my brain and hold me in awe. I want this kind of love. I want it because that is who God made us be.

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

It’s crazy, a simple statement, seven words, and I stop. I want to love others as God loved me. But, people are not kind or understanding. They think, say, and do weird things. They don’t love me the way I want to be loved. And yet this is who I am to God, and He still loves me.

Romans 8:38-39 “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Knowing this full well, why do I struggle? Why is the concept of loving others and being loved so precarious? Why is it so hard?

Because we live in a fallen world, we live in an environment that never will be perfect. So many people do not know Christ and do not know the real source of love. We interact with these people every day; they twist and corrupt God’s concept of love. We are immersed in a media bombardment of the world’s view of love. It is no wonder we get confused. It is no wonder that most of the world feels unfulfilled.

I am genuinely loved. I mean that. I have friends that love me, a family that loves me, and a God that thinks I hung the moon. But I sometimes struggle with this. I sometimes feel alone, isolated,  and unloved. It’s part of being human. The way out for me is not to fixate on the love I am receiving, but increasing the love I give away. Even when I feel unloved, there is joy in loving. In loving others, I start to feel loved myself.

2 Thessalonians 3:5, “May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”

If you want a better story, give the pen to a better author.

Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

I was thinking about the New Year. What was the message I wanted to give myself about how to proceed? Man, I thought of the processes I’ve used in the past to both identify areas of improvement and to correct them. I questioned what needed improvement versus what would be nice to improve. What had kingdom impact and what had earthly impact? We all have limited resources. The most precious resource God has given us is time. Waste time and you can never get it back. Time isn’t the only resource you need if you are going to implement lasting change. It may not even be the critical path. How do I focus my effort in 2020?

Paul Bickford, the Youth Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, GA, started his sermon with this scripture:

Psalms 139:13-16,

Certainly, you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother’s womb.

I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. You knew me thoroughly;

my bones were not hidden from you, when I was made in secret and sewed together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. All the days ordained for me were recorded in your scroll before one of them came into existence.”

This scripture refocused my thinking. Instead of trying to “fix” me, maybe I should just try to be who God made me? I’ve always, mostly, attempted to focus on who God made me, but somehow it still got back to what I could or should do to get there. I focus so much on my faults and short-comings, that I lose track of the goal. The goal never was to be perfect. I shouldn’t focus my energy on being flawless, which leads to stress and discontentment.  I believe it is one of the primary reasons people do not keep their New Years’ resolutions. When you focus on one flaw, you start seeing all of them, it becomes disheartening.

Reread the scripture above. “Certainly, you made my mind and heart;” God made me intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Every detail of who I am he specifically created. “You knew me thoroughly;” Knowing me is more than seeing me or touching me. It is intimate knowledge of my hopes, and fears, and dreams. He knows why I yearn for something even when I don’t know. He knows why I have a passion for certain things and have no interest in others. My perceive flaws are not things that are wrong with me, but a focus on the wrong issues.

Let me see if I can give you an example from my life. As I age, staying in any reasonable physical shape becomes incredibly elusive. Every day that I live, my physiological capacity decreases. It is a slight decrease on a daily or weekly basis, but it is there. Taking a couple of weeks off will mean several weeks of catching up. It is endless and exhausting. Why do I do it? I don’t have a fixation of conditioning. I do have an obsession for living my purpose. I need to be in the physical shape required to live on purpose. If I exercised out of vanity, I’d quit. That train has left the station. The body will fade, but the Kingdom’s impact lasts for eternity. As long as I get up in the morning, God has a purpose for me to accomplish. As long as God finds me useful, I need to be prepared to respond.

Psalm 39:4-5, “LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. “Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath.”

As you think about things you want to change about yourself in 2020, think about why. Are you trying to improve a perceived flaw, or does it have an actual Kingdom impact? A good friend, Patti Gordon of Deepwater Women, has a tag line on her email that says, “Chase what matters.” Are you going to spend 2020 working what matters, or are you going to waste another year shoring up the facade of a crumbling building?

Isaiah 51:6, “Lift up your eyes to the sky, Then look to the earth beneath; For the sky will vanish like smoke, And the earth will wear out like a garment And its inhabitants will die in like manner; But My salvation will be forever, And My righteousness will not wane.”