Tag: Confidence

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There are things you can’t fix in life; you simply have to survive them.

There are things you can not fix, the goal is to surviceAs a man, I have always been drawn to finding solutions. Give me a problem, and my instinct is to roll up my sleeves and get to work. Time and effort rarely discourage me. If I have the will, I believe I can find a way. An obstacle is an invitation to think differently, try again, and keep going. When a solution hasn’t appeared, my first thought is that we simply haven’t found it… yet.

Life Happens

Shel Silverstein captured that spirit in “Listen to the Mustn’ts,” reminding us that even in a world full of limits, possibility remains.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child, listen to the Don’ts, listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossible, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… anything can happen, child, anything can be.” –  Shel Silverstein, 1930 – 1999, Poet, Listen to the Mustn’ts

That belief has carried me a long way. Life, though, has taught me something equally valuable: some problems don’t have the solutions we want. There are relationships that cannot be repaired. Some goodbyes are final. That’s the hard one.

Accepting those truths takes courage. And even when we cannot change an outcome, we still have choices about how we live beyond it. There is hope in that. There is room to grow, to find meaning, and eventually, to feel joy again.

Matthew 6:34: “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

It’s Not About Solutions

We don’t have to figure out the rest of our lives today. Sometimes our task is simply to take the next breath, accept a helping hand, and do one small thing that moves us forward. A difficult day can be met one moment at a time.

I have learned that loving deeply can mean grieving deeply. When someone or something has brought us tremendous joy, their absence can leave an enormous void. Yet the love we experienced remains part of us. It lives in our memories, in what we learned, and in how we care for others.

We could try to protect ourselves from the crash by never taking flight. But consider what we would miss: connection, laughter, companionship, and the extraordinary experience of loving and being loved. Those things make the risk worth taking, even when our hearts need time to believe it again.

I say this with respect for how overwhelming loss can be. We have all been in that storm. I have known moments when every breath felt difficult, my thoughts moved too quickly to put into words, and getting through the day took everything I had.

It’s About Your Future

In those moments, hope was often small. Sometimes it was a conversation, or someone sitting beside me. Sometimes it was simply giving myself another day.

Here is what I have learned: I am loved. I matter. My presence makes a difference for family and friends, even in ways I may never fully see. I deserve their care, and I can let them help me carry what feels too heavy to carry alone.

Strength includes reaching out. It also includes resting, grieving, and beginning again as many times as we need. Progress can be slow and still be real.

Some things cannot be fixed. Still, a meaningful life can take shape around what we have lost. We can carry forward the love, honor what mattered, and remain open to new people, new purpose, and new joy.

We don’t need every answer to take the next step.

Today, we can choose one small act of courage. We can call someone, step outside, accept support, or simply make room for a moment of peace.

You Are Loved

Right now, there is someone in your life who you don’t see but who is thinking this about you: “I can’t promise how this will turn out, but I will stand beside you through it—you are loved, you matter, and you don’t have to see a way forward for us to take the next step together.”

There is more life ahead. And we are worth the effort it takes to reach it.

“Even during the worst hardships, when the other things in our lives seem to fall apart, we can still find peace in the eternal love of God.” – Armstrong Williams

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Can I Be Trusted With Much?

Can You be Trusted With MuchToday, I’m asking myself whether I can be trusted with much. Do I look at a subset of gifts God has given me and determine that they are the only ones God cares about, or do I include all of the blessings and attributes of my existence to serve God? I think I have a tendency to pick and choose.

Luke 16:10: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

This Bible verse has been set before me for some time. It reminds me that God has given me many things, not just skills. He has given me relationships, experiences, knowledge, wealth, power, privilege, and authority. None of these are world-beaters. My sphere of influence is limited. Still, they are gifts from God to be used for God.

Trust

It brings to mind the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14–30). Each servant did not receive the same amount, but each according to their ability. My gifts are shaped by what God has in store for me. Everyone is different. Each of us has a different basket of goods. Yet each of us is charged with using what we are given to advance God’s kingdom on Earth.

We will all have to stand before Christ and give an account of how we used what we were given. That occasion will not be about wealth or position; it will be about how we gained and used influence.

Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Some years ago, I had an epiphany about purpose. I always valued purpose as a calling, a job, a task, or perhaps a position. It was, more or less, tangible, with a clear objective or endpoint. The activity shifted as the season of my life changed, but the core objective stayed the same. Then it dawned on me: purpose was about influence. As I developed, my sphere of influence grew.

Gaining Influence

It didn’t matter which tasks or authority I was trusted with; the goal was the same, to increase my sphere of influence. what it wasn’t about using a job or position to expand God’s Kingdom. It was about using the influence I had gained from that job or position to expand His Kingdom.

2 Corinthians 5:20, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”

I can gain influence through almost any activity. Let’s say I’m an introverted programmer in my industry. I love solitude, head down, writing code. I don’t want advancement or authority. That is God’s gifting to me. But if I become an exceptionally skilled programmer, other programmers might seek me out for advice; I have influence. That influence might start with advising on code, but it eventually extends to other non-work activities. Do I then use that influence to expand God’s Kingdom? That is the critical question. Not: Did I become the best programmer around? But: Did I use the platform given to me to advance God’s Kingdom?

Dishonesty

The second part of that verse is chilling. If I do not use the influence God has given me, am I being dishonest with God? I’m afraid the answer is yes. My influence may wane, and I may fall short of what God intended. I do not get to live the robust life God planned for me.

Everything God has given you can be used to expand your influence, which, in turn, should be used to expand His Kingdom.

Romans 10:14-15, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? How can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’”

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We Have but One Purpose

Our sole purpose is to glorify God in all we do.We have but one purpose. I have spent a great deal of my life thinking about, planning for, and pursuing my purpose. For most of that time, I was clueless about my true purpose. It seemed to morph over time. There were seasons when I thought I had a good handle on it, only to see my life shift.

The Epiphany

Then there was this epiphany. What if my ultimate purpose and yours were exactly the same? We were created for the same purpose, but in different ways. Rather than looking at my purpose as a task to be performed or a goal to be achieved, maybe it is bigger than that.

We were created for His glory. That is the beginning and end of it. Everything He has blessed us with is simply tools to achieve that singular purpose. It is not the job, mission trips, mentoring, or even evangelism; they are tools we use.

Isaiah 43:7: “Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

The reason my life shifts from time to time is that God moves me into a different phase of the same purpose. He moves me from one sphere of influence to another while keeping the primary purpose intact. That also means that no aspect of my life should be directed toward a different purpose.

Acts 17:26–27: “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.”

The Plan

He placed us where He wanted us, to use what He gave us to glorify Him in every action, word, and thought. That is a different perspective. It is not the conditions of my environment that dictate what I should do for Christ; it is everything I am experiencing in the moment.

Revelation 4:11: “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

God has never cared about material goods or power. His only concern is for people. The gifts of intelligence, relationships, experiences, knowledge, time, or money are His resources, placed at your disposal for you to use to glorify Him. You do not give away anything you own; God owns it all.

Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Take a business, for example. God does not care about the business; it is a tool. He wants you to grow the business because its growth gives you more influence. You gain influence with customers, employees, and suppliers. He wants you to use the influence the business has created to glorify Him. It is not about you. He wants you to use the results to expand His kingdom and glorify His name.

I get caught up in the idea that the success of my efforts reflects how God sees me. He wants me to lead, innovate, motivate, and invest in others. But those are simply tools He has placed in my temporary possession, to be given away in a way that glorifies Him.

Psalm 19:1: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

The Goal

The greater my influence, the greater my glorification, if I choose to use it that way. I can use my influence to improve my life or my family’s. I can use it to promote myself and gain power and prestige. Maybe I believe I only need to invest a portion of my success. After all, He did give it to me, right?

We have a singular purpose in all that we do with all that He has blessed us with. It is to glorify Him. There is no plan B.

1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

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Life Turns and Sprints Away

Life turns and sprints awayLife turns and sprints away; I often come across quotes worth remembering—not simply because they inspire me, but because they tell me something true. They remind me of the basic truths I need to put into practice, especially when life asks more of me than I feel ready to give.

I think of motivation as the match that starts a campfire. A match provides the spark, but it cannot keep the fire burning. That takes fuel, attention, and effort. A great speaker or a memorable quote can strike the match. The rest is up to us. We must turn inspiration into action and keep adding fuel long after the initial burst of enthusiasm fades.

Dante Lavelli

The quote I have been thinking about lately comes from Dante “Gluefingers” Lavelli: “Life turns and sprints away, and what could you do but follow?”

Lavelli’s words remind me of Paul’s determination: “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark” (Philippians 3:13–14, KJV). I can be grateful for the past without asking it to become my future. There is still work to do, still good to offer, and still room to grow. When life turns, I can trust God for the strength to take the next step—even before I can see where the path will lead.

Lavelli’s life gave him many opportunities to put those words into practice. He played football at Ohio State before serving in the Army during World War II. He fought in the Battle of the Bulge, returned home, and went on to a championship career with the Cleveland Browns. Between football seasons, he returned to Ohio State to pursue his degree. After his playing career, the future Hall of Famer operated a small furniture store in Rocky River, Ohio, helping support his wife and three children.

Philippians 3:13–14: “…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Transitions

Those transitions could not all have been easy. Each required him to leave something familiar and step into a life he had not yet learned to live.

Ohio State gave him an opportunity, and he took it. The war changed his course, and he answered the call. When the war ended, he began again. When his playing days were over, he built something new.

Each time life turned, Lavelli found a way to move forward.

James 1:22: “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

I imagine he would have preferred Ohio State’s campus to a battlefield in the Ardennes. The daily demands of running a furniture store surely offered fewer cheers than winning championships with the Browns. Yet each chapter had its purpose. Football brought achievement and recognition. The store helped provide a home and a future for his family. There was dignity in both.

Power in Words

Moving forward does not mean the past was easy to leave behind. It does not mean forgetting what we loved or pretending that what hurt us no longer matters. It means recognizing that we still have a life to live—and that our next chapter deserves our effort, too.

That is what makes Lavelli’s words so powerful to me. Life does not wait for us to feel prepared. Sometimes it opens a door we have long hoped for. Sometimes it closes one we thought would always remain open. We cannot choose every change that comes our way, but we can choose how we meet it.

Galatians 6:9: “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

We can take the next step even before we have all the answers. We can apply what we have learned to unfamiliar circumstances. We can discover that the strength we built in one chapter is exactly what we need in the next.

“Life turns and sprints away.”

I cannot always control its direction or match its pace. But I can keep moving. I can meet the future with courage, curiosity, and a willingness to begin again.

The quote provides the spark. My next step supplies the fuel.

(The inspiration for this post came from the obituary of Dante Bert Joseph Lavelli, dated January 22, 2009)

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Finding the Right Path

Finding the right pathFinding the right path in life can seem like looking for Waldo. But God looks at it differently.

Isaiah 43:19: “Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

I love the outdoors. I hike as often as I can, normally a couple of times a week. So I love the visual of Isaiah

“I am about to do something new.”

“Even now it is coming.”

“Do you not see it?”

“I will make a way in the wilderness.”

It sounds colossal. Grand. Breathtaking. It reminds me of the rush of a great waterfall somewhere up the trail. I cannot see it. The winding path and the canopy of trees hide it from view, yet the ever-increasing crescendo of falling water is unmistakable. Something is ahead. My steps quicken. I want to see what lies around the next bend.

That is how I would like to feel about the fulfillment of God’s plan for me: not apprehension, but breathless anticipation. Unfortunately, that is not always how it works. Second only to the fear of what God may ask me to do is the fear of where He may ask me to go.

Ezekiel 1:12: “And each went straight forward; wherever the spirit was about to go, they would go, without turning as they went.”

Wherever the Spirit was about to go, without turning. There is something intimidating about that kind of obedience. I like knowing where I am going, having a plan. I especially like knowing I will like the destination. But what if I don’t? What if I Don’t Like the Destination?

Psalm 32:8, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

The Path

Notice what God does not say. He does not say He will guide us along an easy path, or the most comfortable path, the shortest path, or even the path we would have chosen. He says He will guide us along the best pathway for our lives.

There is an element of trust we must overcome if we are ever going to live a fulfilling life through Christ. Once we start down that path, He promises to advise us and watch over us. But it begins with a very basic question:

Do I trust Him enough to believe He knows the better road?

For most of my adult Christian life, I heard people joke about God sending them to Africa. Africa seemed to be the ultimate Christian threat. “Be careful how completely you surrender your life to God. He might send you to Africa.”

Africa was where the hard-core missionaries went. Surrender everything. Live in a grass hut. Eat strange food. Give your entire life to the mission field. It was certainly not the destination most of my upper-middle-class Christian friends were volunteering for.

Fast-Forward to Today.

It was never my plan to go to Africa.

Even when I agreed to work with IMED—International Micro-Enterprise Development—I did not give much thought to the destination. I thought about the work. I thought about using the skills God had given me to help people build businesses, improve their lives, and strengthen their communities.

Then I looked around. This year alone, I have traveled to Africa, Kyrgyzstan, and Honduras three times. Somewhere along the way, I ended up visiting places I never imagined. And something interesting happened. The destination stopped mattering.

The work mattered. The people mattered. The opportunity to use what God had given me mattered.

I think we may spend too much time worrying about where God might send us and not enough time asking what He wants us to do. If we have enough passion for the what, the where has a way of taking care of itself.

Psalm 73: “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.”

A Glorious Destiny

A glorious destiny. That sounds wonderful, but there is still a problem. I want a map. As the saying goes, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” Even once I come to grips with the idea that what God wants for me may be better than anything I would choose for myself, I am still left with the problem of figuring out what He wants me to do.

That can be hard. I naturally gravitate toward what I understand. God’s plan often becomes clear only a little at a time. We live in a land of opportunity. Virtually every day, I hear about another opportunity to serve God in a special way. The needs are overwhelming. Add to that the joy shown by those already serving, and almost everything looks worthwhile.

Everything seems important. Everything seems needed. But everything is not necessarily mine to do.

So how do I know? I wish I had a formula. I don’t.

There are Many Steps but one Destination

There were several years between the first time I heard about IMED and when I became involved. Roswell Day of Hope was almost the opposite. We were looking for something to put our effort behind, and RDH seemed to come together right in front of us. It was a struggle, but piece after piece kept falling into place.

The prison ministry was different again. That was a path I probably never would have taken, except that I was helping a friend. But it became a crash course in sharing my faith.

Looking back, none of them followed the same path. That is why I keep returning to a lesson I have learned over the years: Each season uses the last to prepare us for the next. God does not waste our experiences. The successes, failures, relationships, disappointments, skills, opportunities, and even detours can become part of what He uses next.

The destination we see ahead of us may not be the destination at all. It may simply be the next mile marker.

Maybe that is why God does not always show us the whole trail. If I could see every mountain, valley, wrong turn, difficult climb, and unexpected destination before I started, I might never take the first step.

The Whole Trail

But I don’t need to see the whole trail. I need to take the next step. For my money, I would concentrate on the what and let God handle the where. If I am using the gifts He gave me, doing work that matters, serving people He places in front of me, and following where He leads, the destination becomes far less important.

After all, the destination was never really the point.

Following Him was.

Psalm 48:14 “For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die.”

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I Sometimes Feel Invisible. Silence Verse Apathy

Invisible, the opposite of Love is ApathyI sometimes feel invisible. By nature, I’m a worker bee. I prefer to stay in the background. When the spotlight is on me, I’m uncomfortable. I find it hard to accept a compliment. To me, it’s not about humility; it’s about being truthful. It’s not about lacking self-confidence; it’s about being realistic. I am who I am: nothing extraordinary. I can do what God created me to do.

Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Life

So for a guy who likes to live in the shadows, why is invisibility a problem? I struggle with that question. I don’t want fame or recognition for greatness. A couple of decades ago, I changed my life significantly. Up to that point, my life was about me. Not in a selfish way, but in a determined one. I wanted to be the best version of me I could be. I would outwork anyone to achieve that goal. It wasn’t about money, position, or fame; it was about self-respect.

Philippians 2:4: “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Then one day, God said, “Stop.” He wanted me to realize that life was never about me. It has always been about the people God puts in my path. I was to use all the resources God gave me — intelligence, relationships, experiences, and knowledge — to help others. That lifted an immense weight off my shoulders. I was no longer responsible for results, only for obedience. It was freeing beyond words.

Living in the Shadows

I stepped into the background and have lived there ever since. I like it here. I can do my thing unnoticed. I can create my own version of self-actualization by living vicariously through others’ achievements. The greatest joy of my life is watching others bloom. Every day, I have the joy and privilege of watching people younger than me begin the journey toward becoming the person God always intended them to be. Some of these people are in their twenties.

I think this is the turning point for me. At the same time, I get to see young people experimenting with life, the excitement of discovery, and the joy of becoming. On the other hand, I know they must learn from disappointment and loss.

1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.”

In the middle of this, I get lost. I fade so far into the background that even the shadows forget I’m there. Most of my life, this is OK, even preferred. But not always.

Apathy verse Silence

I don’t know how to present this without sounding at some level arrogant or egotistical. It is not that at all. I have lived an incredible life, with all its ups and downs, knowing how difficult it is to juggle family, work, and community. I understand why I am not the center of anyone’s universe. We are all planets, part of our own solar systems, spinning through one of many galaxies. Life is complex.

1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

My downward spiral begins when I forget that silence is not apathy. Many people trying to survive in the chaos of everyday life are silent, not because they don’t care, but because they are distracted. There is a lot to do when becoming something. Figuring out who you should be and how to achieve that goal is time-consuming. Background noise is drowned out by the cacophony of sounds coming from the moment.

Being Seen Again

We all go through moments of feeling lost. It is part of the rhythm of life. As you grow older, you experience this more often. What these people are accomplishing in their lives is something I envy. It took me forty years to learn what they already know. I want to be part of their orbit. When I am not, I feel invisible.

That is, until we meet face-to-face. Then we see each other for who we are and rejoice in that knowledge. The cloak of invisibility falls away, and I am me again. We talk about lives lived, victories won, and the scars left by learning.

Silence is seldom apathy. Sometimes it’s just life being life.

Proverbs 12:25: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

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When Good Things Become Distractions

When Good Things Become a DistractionNot every distraction is bad. Some of the most dangerous distractions are worthwhile things that slowly consume the attention meant for something else. We do not have to be doing something wrong to find ourselves neglecting what God has called us to do. Sometimes we are simply doing too much of something good.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Good Things can Compete with One Another.

Family, work, ministry, helping others, church, writing—all worthwhile. But none automatically deserves unlimited time just because it is good. The challenge is deciding how much time to give each activity. The old 20/80 rule is a good guideline. The first 20% of your effort produces 80% of the results. The last 80% of your effort produces the final 20% of the results.

So the question might be: which tasks deserve the final eighty percent, and which don’t? Are there other people who can fine-tune some things while you put your effort into the things God created you for? Does having control supersede accomplishing God’s will?

Luke 10:41–42, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Perfection is an Especially Effective Distraction.

The things God truly puts on your heart require a different strategy. There comes a point when improving something yields diminishing returns. We can expend enormous effort to make something 2% better while leaving something else completely undone. The drive for perfection can reduce the likelihood of real change by causing us to miss the window of opportunity.

A need exists; you want to fill that need, but your desire to execute perfection causes time to escape, and the need goes unfulfilled. Or the need is met too late to be truly helpful.

This reminds me of a story from Kyrgyzstan. A young Christian in a Muslim village saw children playing soccer (football) in an open dirt field. He went to them, helped organize teams, and set up a small village league. While refereeing the games, he would ask the children if they needed anything. Then, during the week, he would get whatever they needed and give it to them the next weekend. This man knew their parents would never ask a Christian for help, but the children were different. It wasn’t long before he and his religion were accepted by the villagers.

Now, in America, we would first have to form a committee to make sure it was the best course of action. We would need rules and, of course, T-shirts. Maybe we would need donations for uniforms and refreshments. Then we would talk with the kids.

Perfection can get in the way of God’s work. God will perfect the outcome; we don’t have to worry about it.

Purpose Requires Periodically Looking up.

Ask: What have I stopped doing because something else has captured all my attention? That is the central question. Do I respond to opportunities by asking God if this is mine to carry, or do I let the world answer that question for me?

Do I ask God what my priorities should be, or do I allow my sense of accomplishment to overshadow what God is trying to do through me?

John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Conclusion

Maybe the question is not simply, “Am I doing something worthwhile?” Perhaps we also need to ask, “Is this what I should be doing right now?” There are countless good things we can do with our lives. Wisdom is knowing which good thing deserves our attention today.

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Those that Truly Lead, Inspire, Passing the Test of Life

Leadership Passing the testThere are leaders, and there are those who lead. Leaders may hold positions of power; those who truly lead inspire.

There is no louder voice in your life than your character’s voice. It is the steady drumbeat that reveals the consistency of your actions over time. I have watched people of character make incredible, self-sacrificing decisions without a word. They simply did what was right because it was right—nothing more. It cost them dearly, but not nearly as much as it would have to live any other way.

Luke 8:17, “For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”

As we strive to become the person God created us to be, we will face hard choices. Those choices reveal our character. Character emerges when doing what is right comes at a cost.

Testing

To temper steel, it must first endure intense heat. The process makes the steel tougher by reducing its hardness. Life can do the same to us. We are tested in the heat of adversity, not simply to make us harder, but to make us tougher without becoming hardened. We learn to reflect hope by letting go of bitterness and to practice humility by turning away from self-centeredness.

1 Corinthians 3:13, “each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.”

I’m reminded of a story in John chapter nine. Jesus encounters a man who had been blind from birth. His disciples immediately want to know who was responsible. Was it the man’s fault or his parents’? Jesus shifts their focus from blame. He tells them that through this man’s blindness, the works of God would be displayed.

John 9:1-4, “As He (Jesus) passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked Him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

As much as I would prefer it were different, I have learned to see tests as opportunities to show others what my faith truly means. When I am in a dark place, I need most to let the light of Christ radiate through me. Darkness does not hide the light; it makes the light easier to see. These moments can become opportunities God uses to spread the Gospel through the way we live.

People within our Sphere of Influence

The people in our sphere of influence are watching how we live, and from what they see, they draw conclusions about our character. It is easy to project a positive image when everything is going right and all is well in the world. The real test comes when things are not so good. Do we still trust in Christ? Do we still project hope and reassurance when everyone around us knows our life sucks?

Ephesians 5:13, “But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.”

Very few people live in hopes of being tested. Most are like me: try me if you must, but please make it multiple-choice or fill-in-the-blank. I dread the big tests—losing someone I love, cancer, financial hardship, or losing a job. I know those tests will require supernatural strength I do not possess on my own.

But strangely enough, it is often the pop quizzes that catch me unprepared—you know, deception, anger, jealousy, impatience, pride. Too often, I fail them because I did not prepare. When the big test comes, I cram; I pray, read Scripture, and seek Christian counsel. Yet the pop quizzes arrive without warning and too often find me lacking. The Bible might describe it as a lamp without enough oil.

It is natural to turn inward during times of trouble. But we must remember that there are people within our sphere of influence watching what we do next. Some may never read the Bible, attend a church, or listen to a sermon, but they will watch us. What they see in us may shape what they believe about the God we claim to follow.

Created for Moments Like This

God has created you for moments like these. The God who spoke the universe into existence knows you, loves you, and has not abandoned you in the midst of the test. His testing is not merely intended to expose your weakness. It can become an opportunity to display His strength through you.

Paul understood this. Near the end of his letter to the Colossians, written while he was imprisoned, Paul does something remarkable. He does not primarily ask them to pray that the prison doors will open so he can escape. He asks them to pray that God will open a door for the message. His concern is not simply, How do I get out of this? His concern is, How can God use me while I am here?

Colossians 4:3-6, “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

That is leadership.

Conclusion

Be the one who leads—not simply because you have authority, a position, or a title, but because the way you live gives others the courage to keep going. Let your character speak before your words. Let your faith be most visible when it is most severely tested.

And when darkness comes, let your light shine brightest.

1 Peter 1:7, “so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

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The Consequences of Past Sin

Self forgiveness One unfortunate aspect of God’s love is that He allows us to experience the natural consequences of our sin. If there were no consequences, we would not learn to avoid sin. Sometimes the consequences last long after we have repented.

1 Peter 5:10, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.”

I know that, in my life, it means I live with some regrets. There are things I did before I knew Christ that still leave a stain on my life. I know the repercussions are my fault, but that doesn’t make them any less painful. I wonder sometimes how long I have to continue to live with the consequences. The truth is, maybe the rest of my life. Some sins affect us that way.

As Christians, especially when dealing with other Christians, we feel we should be forgiven. It is what Christ expects of us when we are offended. Why shouldn’t we expect it from others? Life isn’t that simple. God forgives; we don’t necessarily forgive ourselves.

Hebrews 8:12, “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

There are many reasons the consequences linger. Sometimes the offended party has moved on. They no longer see the offense. It is a thing of the past that does not need revisiting. It is not forgiveness; it is acceptance. At other times, the offended person has forgiven but does not want to risk being hurt again. They don’t hold on to the hurt; they simply don’t want to open themselves up to it again. Then there is the obvious: we earned it.

Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

The “we earned it” part is the hardest. It is an acknowledgment that this is on us. We built this house; we have to live in it. That belief can lead to depression or worse. Holding on to the truth that we somehow deserve what we are getting can drag us down. This fatalism carries a sense of finality. We submit to our circumstances. Fractured relationships may never become whole; they just become less broken.

Colossians 3:3, “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

These consequences are not God punishing us for disobedience. They are the natural consequences of living in a fallen world. Sin brings correction. Don’t mistake God’s course correction for us when He sees the need. By definition, it is not punishment but a means of putting us on the right path, sometimes with rebuke.

The biggest sins are not momentary lapses of control, such as anger or an outburst of discompassionate honesty. They are environmental sins, those that manifest as repetitive behavior over time. We become someone we shouldn’t be. These circumstances are hard to mend. Trust is fragile.

Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

This is not a solution; it is simply what I do. I try to live as closely aligned with God as possible, extending grace, compassion, and love to what I see as the offended party. I am not trying to explain or seek reconciliation, just to model who I should have always been. Letting who I have become slowly seep into their image of me. In a perfect world, they will one day initiate a discussion about it. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so I will accept that they may quietly acknowledge that I have changed. The offense will die as a new relationship is born.

Jeremiah 29:12-13, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

God is against sin, not because He has a set of rules we must follow to prove our allegiance. He created us and knows what sin does to us, and He wants to spare us that pain. We don’t always listen, and pain seeps into our lives.

But you are not who you were.

2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

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I Wrote a Book

Echoes Through EternityI finished writing a book this week. It took more than two years. It wasn’t a biography or a memoir. I didn’t write about my achievements. It was about how I became me, about what happened in my life that transformed me and shaped me into who I am today.

Childhood Through Adolescence

I spent most of my early life very angry. Not at other people, but at myself. You see, I had a great father. He was a humble man who achieved great things. He quit high school at fourteen and became an itinerant farmhand, moving from job to job. When World War II broke out at 17, he lied about his age to join the Navy. He served in the Philippines on a minesweeper, clearing mines for beachhead invasions. He received two Bronze Stars for valor. His high school burned down during the war, which allowed him to attend college without a high school transcript. In college, he earned a degree in civil engineering.

He went on to become the Superintendent of Highways, the Chairman of our City Council, and the Chairman of the School Board. My dad was funny and never acted as if he were somebody. He was an incredible role model; he really was a good man. Dad was married to my mother for 72 years.

Somewhere along the line, I grew angry with myself. I never did enough, accomplished enough, or knew enough; I was consumed by anxiety about performance. That is the way I lived until my mid-forties. I wasn’t just driven; I was obsessed with my performance and accomplishments, never living up to my expectations. I was successful in business, but I never felt any relief. Despite all my earthly goods, I was not happy. By thirty, I was divorced and had a pacemaker. If someone tried to help me by giving advice, I felt humiliated because I didn’t already know what they were trying to teach me.

All of this was internalized. Outside, I was happy and well-adjusted. I didn’t want others to see my flaws. People saw me as intense and as someone who loved their work. I wish I could say that one day I broke and God fixed me, but that wasn’t what happened.

My Forties

One day in my forties, I picked up a Bible. Not because I felt God cared or even knew I existed, but because I was seeking answers. It helped. I read it cover to cover every year for about four years. I never once sought eternal salvation, only salvation from the life I lived. It calmed my anger and gave me perspective. It didn’t quench the drive within me.

Then, somehow, I came across a book by Lee Strobel titled “A Case for Christ.” Lee meticulously documented that every story in the New Testament is historically accurate. Christ lived, died, and rose again. He performed all the miracles described. I needed to go to Church. Who was this guy? This wasn’t a book of fables or stories; it was real life.

“If Jesus Christ was who He claimed to be, and He did die on a cross at a point of time in history, then, for all history past and all history future, it is relevant because that is the very focal point for forgiveness and redemption.” – Josh McDowell

Isaiah 44:22, “I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”

I went from church to church in search of answers. I was not, and still am not, a fan of religion. Arbitrary rules were piled onto the gospel in an attempt to segment the marketplace (Personal Bias). I ended up at a gospel-teaching church that simply preached what the Bible says. No membership rules, no membership classes, just the gospel.

For several years, I attended this church and learned about salvation. But I was still self-driven. I was perhaps calmer, friendlier, and much less angry, yet I remained focused on myself. I now wanted to be the best Tomme Stevenson God could make.

True Conversion

Then one day, a friend gave me a cassette tape of a one-man play called “The Bema.” The question was: What have you done for Christ since you met Him? My answer: Nothing. This is where my book begins. This is where true transformation began. It was when I stopped looking only at myself and started looking outward.

The book documents how an extremely logical, pragmatic person met Christ. How Christ used my life to mold me into the person I was always meant to be. How the person I am today is a light-year away from who I was. It is the tragedy of wasting almost five decades chasing meaningless things instead of living the life I was meant to live.

1 Corinthians 1:30, “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.”

It was a lot of dumpster fires and train wrecks; I’m a hard guy to get through to at times. But every one of them had purpose and meaning. Every one of them changed me for the better. I started looking at God’s plan and moving away from mine: I started judging results not by what I wanted to achieve, but by what God had planned.

I am now more relaxed, still a type “A” personality, but living by God’s standard, not mine.  These last twenty-five years have been the best. The book is my best description of how that transformation took place. It is simple lessons from an ordinary life learning to live for Christ.

Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

P.S. if you want an electronic copy drop  me an email. It was created for my family, but otherwise not completely unreadable.

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