Tag: Heart

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What Seventy-Five Years Taught Me About the Moments That Matter

Moment that mattersIn my more than seventy-five years, I find it interesting that I spent fifty years doing what I love, for the most part, yet I remember data points but not the effort it took to achieve them. I have spent over thirteen thousand days perfecting my craft, and I recall facts, but most of the emotion has been lost to time. Yet a chance meeting with a stranger decades ago remains vivid in my mind. His need outweighed my inconvenience. The emotion of that encounter is real, as if it happened yesterday. I can still see his eyes. The pain in them was deeper than anything I had experienced. Later in life, I, too, would have his eyes. I, too, would know what it is like to feel emotional pain that defies words.

The things that took up most of my time and attention seem insignificant compared with those that touch my heart.

Luxuries of Growing Older

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” – Lao-Tzu

One of the luxuries of growing older is the time to look back. As we live our lives, we seldom have time to view things in the context of our entire lives. We make decisions based on immediate needs. If we are mature enough, we even set something aside for the future, without knowing what it will bring. When you have lived three-quarters of a century, that changes.

1 Corinthians 16:13: “Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”

I can look back on my life and see both light and darkness. I can see how decisions played out. I now know when an act of kindness was truly kind and when it only postponed the pain. I see great jobs that turned bad and bad jobs that turned out well. The same is true for people, separating true friends from lifelong acquaintances.

All of this is to say that the moments of your life pass quickly and unnoticed until one day you count them. The things that occupied most of your time and attention seem insignificant compared with those that touch your heart. All the decisions you make about survival don’t compare with those laced with compassion. In the moment, the survival decisions seem most important, but in the end, they weren’t.

Fortunate to Live a Long Life

2 Corinthians 4:16: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

If you are fortunate enough to live to my age, your mind does not revisit days spent at work, mowing the yard, or doing the laundry. It finds those exceptional moments. The ones that changed your life or someone else’s are the ones you treasure. You do not have to be a good person to do good. Everyone has that potential. God created it in us; we need to activate it.

Galatians 5:13: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

I want everyone reading this to fill their lives with exceptional moments that will remind them they are alive when old age creeps up. God has made us exceptional; we should live lives that reflect His effort. When the day comes that you have more days behind you than ahead of you, it will comfort you to know you mattered to someone. Maybe it was a moment, maybe a lifetime, but you mattered.

Epilogue

It is not the material things you gave them; it is your time, wisdom, and heart that changed the world around them.

Live well in the moments. Let the sound of your life echo through eternity.

Isaiah 46:4: “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he; I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.”

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He died of a Broken Heart.

1 John 4:10, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

My dad passed away a year ago at the age of 92. My mother proceeded him by just a few months. Dad and Mom had been married 72 years. My father didn’t die of illness or accident; he just stopped eating. Without my mom at his side, there was no reason to go on.

This isn’t a new story. We hear it quite often. Love is such a powerful force that it can cause one to die from a broken heart. By the will of God that, I should go the same way.

Dane Ortlund, in his book Gentle and Lowly, describes the death of Christ on the cross as not physical death but one of a broken heart. He talks about Christ taking on the sum-total penalty for every lustful thought and deed coming from the heart of God’s people over eternity. He asks what physical torture is compared to the total weight of centuries of cumulative wrath absorbed? He goes on to talk about how it was the withdrawal of God’s love from His heart, not the withdrawal of oxygen from His lungs, that killed Him.

1 John 4:16, “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

This is a thought that is hard for me to comprehend. I know the anxiety and fear that follows every sin. It is either the remorse of my doing or fear of being found out. No sin goes unpunished or unnoticed. Every sin carries its price. We, as mere humans, begin to rationalize that it is the cost of being alive. No person is without sin or escapes their sin’s consequences.

 “No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.” – C.S. Lewis

What if I had to carry the weight and consequences of not only my sin but the sin of my family; or my town. What if it was only my country? If I lose sleep over my actions, how much more sleep do I lose if I know and accept the burden of the sins of others.

I have often thought of Christ’s death for me as a transaction. My sin sat upon a table; God, through Christ, dished out currency and took my sin away. The currency was Christ’s death on the cross. When I read about the horrors of Christ’s suffering before the crucifixion, I thought it described how high that price was. My focus was on physical death. That was an enormous price for someone to pay for an undeserving soul like me.

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. “

Dane Ortlund painted a different picture. It was a picture not of physical pain but emotional pain. When I think of losing someone dear to me, it is a deep throbbing pain that no prescription will erase. People turn to medication, drugs, and alcohol to deaden it. Like my dad, we can lose our desire to live.

Christ did that not just for you but for all of His people for all time.

John 13:1, “Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.”

Doing it for just one person takes more emotional strength than I can imagine. What was it like to feel all the fear and anxiety for everyone who lived? To do this freely because of His enormous love for those people. Every anguished cry across the millennia was being recapitulated and fulfilled through Christ. The voices in His head, the cries, the wailing, and their remorse all descending on Him to snuff out His light.

Christ did this without wavering. He looked directly into the very depths of Hell and did not wince. He saw the horde of evil descending on Him, and He marched on. My heart cries out for that level of love.

Today, we look within ourselves to see if Christ’s sacrifice was in vain. He died of a broken heart because of us. Can we say that the lives we are living are worth it?

1 John 4:11, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another?”

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