Traveling Partners

When we think about the concept that God has known us before we came into existence and that he created us for a specific purpose, it should give us pause. There is nothing we will face that will catch Him off guard. There are surprises in our life for us, but not Him. We were created for His purpose, not ours. Living our lives within His purpose brings us greater joy then living for ourselves. It is why we were created.

Psalm 139:16, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

If we are to become the person God created us to be, we must understand who that is. It is not a difficult question at the macro level but surprisingly tricky at the micro-level. At the big picture, blue sky level, we understand that God created all things for His pleasure.

MACRO LEVEL

God made us wonderfully complex and beautiful people. He has gifted us with all kinds of aptitude, resources, skills, ambition, and opportunity. All of this is for a straightforward reason; He wants us to glorify Him in all that we do. We are to do this from generation to generation. That implies we need to pass the word along to others to help propagate His Kingdom.

Colossians 1:16, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”

We know that we were explicitly created for good works.

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Those good works are to glorify God.

Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Easy peasy, not hard to understand; execution is a little tricky.

MICRO LEVEL

Executing God’s plan is where I, and many others, get wrapped around the axle. There are two specific ideas that I need to keep in focus: influence and opportunity. God has given me a sphere of influence that changes over time. When I was younger, it was my playmates and schoolmates; as I grew, it became my place of employment, my children, and my community. But in each case, I was given a particular sphere of influence. I have come to think that my mission field is where God has me today. Opportunity is what I do within my sphere of influence.

Philippians 2:1-3, “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Life is filled with opportunity. From an entrepreneurial perspective, the main difference between a successful person and a less successful person is not the idea but the execution. We lament that ideas are a dime-a-dozen, but a person with follow-through was as rare as hen’s teeth.  If your spirit is open, there is no shortage of opportunity within your sphere of influence. The key is both identifying these opportunities and then taking action.

Once I started praying that God would open my eyes to the opportunities around me, I was dumbfounded. It was like walking in a forest. It wasn’t like people were walking up to me asking to hear about Christ; it was people reaching out for compassion and understanding. As a high D, type A, personality, this was unsettling.  I didn’t want to engage people at a personal level. I didn’t want to get sucked down into their everyday issues. I wanted a fly-by. I wanted to drop goodwill packages from an airplane.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

I found that I should take one moment to listen; no platitudes, no suggestions. I found that I did care, sometimes helplessly, but still caring. People don’t expect solutions; they want someone to travel their journey with them. They don’t want to seem alone. Sometimes that traveling partner has to be someone outside of their sphere; it provides a security level.

As a boss, one of my biggest burdens was not having someone to talk to when things got dicey. You can’t go to your employees and say, “I’m really worried about the company.” Sometimes inside our sphere of influence, we have the same issue; we can’t say, “I’m not sure this is going to turn out the way we want.” Our role, many times, is to be the cheerleader. When the cheerleader has lost their cheer, you can be the person to whom they can go to let off steam. You can be the pressure value that allows them to decompress.

As my career advanced, it no longer seemed strange that one of my employees would come into my office, sit down in a chair and unburden themselves. Sometimes they were people I never had anything more significant than a superficial relationship; it was just work. In some cases, my only contribution to the conversation was that Christ gave me hope in my life, and that was enough. I often told them to come back any time, let me know how it was progressing, keep me in the loop. They needed a traveling partner. My job was to take one more fear off of their plate, the fear of facing this alone.

We have a traveling partner; He is always with us. He will never abandon us. Not everyone has this. For those that do not, we become the surrogate. We are the bridge between now and eternity. In time we can help them become the bridge for someone else.

2 Peter 1:19, “And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.”

Folks, becoming the person God made you to be is, on the one hand, extremely simple and, on the other hand, so complex and fearful. Remember, God has equipped you for this. There is nothing you will encounter that He has not already seen and prepared you for. We are aliens in the world. We were made for greater things to come. Don’t get stuck in neutral.

Pray for an opportunity, then enjoy a walk in the woods.

A wise man will walk across a bridge but does not build his home on it.

Ephesians 5:8, “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

Lessons in Love

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

I was thinking about the essence of love. If I expected that being loved is the salve that heals all wounds, my life has been disappointing. I know what it is to love, and I know what it is to not be loved. Here is what I have learned:

LOVE

Love is the grandest experience God gave humankind. It is a drug so powerful that it can drive us to ecstasy or total despair. Love can make your brain forget to breathe.  Poets and musicians have tried to capture that feeling in words and verse since we first learned to communicate.  Zelda Fitzgerald  said “Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” There is a reason we fall in love; it is a sense of weightlessness, a sense of being out of control.  The most confident man can feel inadequate; the most accomplished woman feels insecure. 

You, or I, can’t make someone love us; they must choose to love us. We can make that easy, or we can make that hard; that is our choice. If we genuinely love them, their happiness comes before ours; we would sacrifice ours so that they might have theirs. That’s the paradox of true love; to truly love is to let go. I know that from experience. I’ve had to make that choice.

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

CAMELIA TOLSON

Accepting that we can only control ourselves and not others present us with another choice: taking the risk to love again. As we mature, we go through many cycles of love and loss. Some of those cycles teach us tough lessons about choices; others teach us lessons about life. Each of those lessons leaves a scar on our hearts. I have a special scar; Camelia (Isky) Tolsen. The Isky nickname comes from Iskenderian Camshafts – Camshaft – Cam. Guy thing. She had a twin sister, Pam, who shared a made-up language that they talked to each other when the comments were private. It was fun to watch them do it, even when it was about me. Her parents had the audacity to pack up and moved to Texas around 1966. I remember the year because it was the year of my first heartbreak. It has been over a half-century, and my heart still remembers. Love leaves that type of indentation. It is one of those scratches you can’t buff out; it’s crazy the sadness that my heart can conjure up just thinking about it.

Trust me, that wasn’t the worst; it was just the first. The nasty ones came later in life when I should have known better. I spent most of my life thinking that love was a transaction; you give, you get. It was a commodity you traded on the open market. As I matured, it started to look more like an investment with an expected return. My heart became scared and disfigured, each blemish with its own story.

Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

THE LESSON

Leo Buscaglia stated it this way “Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. “

Here’s what I know today; the way I have lived my life has left scars on God’s heart. All the times I have been unfaithful, chasing other idols, thinking there was someone or something better, left scars.  I now understand that I have caused God great pain. But I still receive unconditional love in return. God does not live in the past; that is forgiven, He looks to the future. He loved me even when I didn’t want to love Him. He loves me because He understands why I shy away at times. My goal is to love as God loves; that’s a tall order.

When we live our lives trying to avoid pain by not fully committing to love, we rob God of one of His most precious gifts, not to mention what we do to ourselves. We have a choice to look at our scars and remember the pain we went through to get them, or we can remember the relationships that made them possible; they‘re the ribbons and medals of past skirmishes that show we have lived a life worth living.

1 John 4:8, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Choose to love; choose not to look for or expect a return. Revel in the euphoria of love.  Choose not to avoid the joy of loving to avoid the pain of loss. Accept that the greater the passion, the greater the pain. When your heart retches in despair over a lost love, it remembers the great joy that proceeded that pain. Don’t look at it as a transaction or a commodity, but a gift you give yourself.

Erich Fromm said it this way, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.

1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

God leaps with joy when we connect the dots. He beams with pride to know we figured out that love is not about getting but giving. And in that giving, we get a gift far beyond our expectations; we get a glimpse of heaven.

A Christmas for Eternity

Mark 4:18-19, “Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”

Is your view of eternity a day at a time? Do the struggles you face today form your worldview? Are your prayers reflective of your needs and pain in the moment? I bring this up because of the year we have just gone through. Many of us have had to put our hopes and dreams on hold. Many of the issues in the news, and life, seem ever evolving. Social Media has made us “in-the-moment” people. Some of us get so caught up in the news of the moment that they lose sight of why they are here. We are here to glorify God from generation to generation.

Exodus 3:15, “This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.”

THE SHORT VIEW

How we fight COVID-19 today is different from what was reported just a few months ago. The news about injustice changes as new information becomes available. Sometimes our worldview is cemented before we get the whole story. We worry about the economy as closures and unemployment rise. Our worldly leaders seem more intent on persuading us toward their agenda than actually solving a problem.

All of this drives us to a short term view of our lives and the world around us. We start to think that whatever happens in the next moment, the next week, the next year, or the next decade will alter our existence forever. We have to react before it is too late.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” – Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Fear is the great enemy of faith. Living in fear is looking at circumstances as if God didn’t exist or doesn’t care. Fear is trying to control the uncontrollable. Fear is looking for solutions that are human-made, not faith-based. Fear shrinks our world and makes us ineffective.

Luke 12:20, “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?”

Who will benefit from all your worry?

THE ENEMY

Who is your real enemy? It is COVID, injustice, political leadership, or even poverty? Is it your boss or your neighbor or cultural bias? Or, might it be something that uses all of these to keep you from seeing the real enemy? Do not get me wrong, these are real issues that we should not ignore, but they are not the real danger. If non-believers bring about world peace and do away with poverty, hunger, and disease, are you better off? Short-term, yes, you are more comfortable; long-term, not so much.

We get so tied up in every day that we forget we are creations meant for eternity. Our entire life span is but a moment. A single day almost unnoticeable. It is real at the moment but not worthy of concern when thinking of eternity.

A Short term view of our existence is a tool of the enemy to convince us that God does not love us. It is one of the best ways that the enemy whispers in our ear that if God did love us, he would do what we want, God should address our fear with immediate solutions.

1 John 4:18, “We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us.”

THE LONG VIEW

Romans 8:18, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone” ― Pablo Picasso

Christ came for the long view. He didn’t come so that the Pharisees would be put in their place or the Romans would be run out of town. He even told His disciples that poverty would always exist in the world. He wasn’t looking to correct the by-products of sin, but to destroy the impact of sin itself.

Matthew 26:11, “The poor you will always have with you”

He died that we might spend eternity with Him. There will be no political parties or disease or hunger or injustice. These are of the world and therefore under His dominion to be eliminated upon His return.

Ephesians 1:22, “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church.”

I would challenge each of you to divorce yourself from all news and social media for 30 days. I challenge you to only engage in gospel-based learning and information. I think you will find that nothing happened that would not have happened with or without your knowledge. I think you will find your world view has pivoted away from the temporal to the eternal. I think you will find yourself filled with more confidence and hope; concern and fear will decrease. The Bible will guide you in the due diligence required to deal with this world.

 1 John 5:14-15, “And we are sure of this, that he will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. And if we really know he is listening when we talk to him and make our requests, then we can be sure that he will answer us.”

COVID can’t stop Him. Whoever is in the White House cannot prevent His will. Nothing in your environment will stand in the way of God’s love for you. Stop fixating on things you cannot control and start fixating on the things you should control. Fixate on God’s providence over all things. God will protect your soul. God will prepare you for eternity with Him.

The greatest thing about you is what God has done for you. Live your life with the joy and peace of knowing that God has dominion over all things. You are safe within His hands.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

Your Christmas Story

Ever wonder what the essence of a great story includes? There must be three or four critical components. There has to be a protagonist and an antagonist; you know, the good guy and the bad guy. Then there has to be a great adventure, an adventure that draws you in and captivates you. There has to be a dark moment; when the hero seems to be on the brink of destruction. Then there is the ending, a wonderful, thrilling, defying-all-odds moment that takes your breath away.

We were listening to a Robert Ludlum audiobook on the long drive to and from Missouri over the Thanksgiving holiday. Dr. John Smith was the protagonist, surviving death over and over again. Time and again, Ludlum had him in impossible situations, just to be saved in the nick of time. It got me thinking of my life and the most incredible story of all time; The Christmas story.

You can read the beginning here: Luke 2:1-20

The Beginning

Jesus was there in the beginning. He knew our fall, He knew our struggles, and most of all, He knew we needed a hero, not just an ordinary run-of-the-mill hero, but the Savior of all Saviors. The story of our lives is an epic battle between good and evil. We get to choose the part we play, just like when we were kids playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians. This time the playing is real, and the consequences of our decisions last for eternity.

John 1:1-2, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God….”

John 1:14, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”

In the story of my life, I am not the protagonist; I’m not the good guy or the hero; I’m the one needing rescue. The antagonist isn’t life or the decisions I’ve made; it is the dark force that hides the consequences of my choices. Unlike John Smith trying to save the world from diabolic biological weapons, my story is God trying to save me from myself.

The God of the universe looks down on weak humans being buffeted by the plans and schemes of evil. For the average person, evil does not present itself in situations that reek of sulfur. Evil presents itself in everyday decisions that seem right in the moment. Many times sin will even give us a Bible verse to comfort us in our weak moments. Evil knows the story and knows the ending but pushes on anyway.

The Rescue

The story of Christmas is the defying-all-odds over-the-top ending to our impossible predicament. You see, we cannot save ourselves from destruction; we haven’t the power. I would go as far as to say some of us still don’t know we need saving. Without God’s intervention through Christ on the cross, we fail. We cannot be good enough to overcome the impact evil has on our lives. Christ is the only one who can reach down and pull us up from the abyss.

Romans 5:8, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

This Christmas, we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Our happy ending starts in a room no one wanted and ends on the cross. It is not the ending we think of in a novel. It is not the hero living with honor and residing on an earthly throne. It’s bigger than that. Our protagonist not only saves us from ourselves, but He also conquers death itself. Through Him, evil is defeated, and we are saved for eternity.

Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author, and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Epilogue

This Christmas spend time with friends, listen to the music of the season, exchange gifts, and eat great food, but take some time to play out your story. Take time to understand that you are not the hero of your story. I am one of the most fortunate men on this earth. I was born in a country of opportunity. God gave me everything a person could want. I have had position, power, and wealth, but I could not save myself. For all that I was, I was helpless. Christ saw me, loved me, and saved me.

Ephesians 2:8, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”

Christmas is a time of great joy, do not let that pass you by, but take the time to replay your story; you get to choose your ending, make it a good one.

1 Peter 3:18, “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.”

Share your story of great joy and peace with all you encounter throughout the year, for we are truly blessed.