I sometimes feel invisible. By nature, I’m a worker bee. I prefer to stay in the background. When the spotlight is on me, I’m uncomfortable. I find it hard to accept a compliment. To me, it’s not about humility; it’s about being truthful. It’s not about lacking self-confidence; it’s about being realistic. I am who I am: nothing extraordinary. I can do what God created me to do.
Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
Life
So for a guy who likes to live in the shadows, why is invisibility a problem? I struggle with that question. I don’t want fame or recognition for greatness. A couple of decades ago, I changed my life significantly. Up to that point, my life was about me. Not in a selfish way, but in a determined one. I wanted to be the best version of me I could be. I would outwork anyone to achieve that goal. It wasn’t about money, position, or fame; it was about self-respect.
Philippians 2:4: “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Then one day, God said, “Stop.” He wanted me to realize that life was never about me. It has always been about the people God puts in my path. I was to use all the resources God gave me — intelligence, relationships, experiences, and knowledge — to help others. That lifted an immense weight off my shoulders. I was no longer responsible for results, only for obedience. It was freeing beyond words.
Living in the Shadows
I stepped into the background and have lived there ever since. I like it here. I can do my thing unnoticed. I can create my own version of self-actualization by living vicariously through others’ achievements. The greatest joy of my life is watching others bloom. Every day, I have the joy and privilege of watching people younger than me begin the journey toward becoming the person God always intended them to be. Some of these people are in their twenties.
I think this is the turning point for me. At the same time, I get to see young people experimenting with life, the excitement of discovery, and the joy of becoming. On the other hand, I know they must learn from disappointment and loss.
1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.”
In the middle of this, I get lost. I fade so far into the background that even the shadows forget I’m there. Most of my life, this is OK, even preferred. But not always.
Apathy verse Silence
I don’t know how to present this without sounding at some level arrogant or egotistical. It is not that at all. I have lived an incredible life, with all its ups and downs, knowing how difficult it is to juggle family, work, and community. I understand why I am not the center of anyone’s universe. We are all planets, part of our own solar systems, spinning through one of many galaxies. Life is complex.
1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
My downward spiral begins when I forget that silence is not apathy. Many people trying to survive in the chaos of everyday life are silent, not because they don’t care, but because they are distracted. There is a lot to do when becoming something. Figuring out who you should be and how to achieve that goal is time-consuming. Background noise is drowned out by the cacophony of sounds coming from the moment.
Being Seen Again
We all go through moments of feeling lost. It is part of the rhythm of life. As you grow older, you experience this more often. What these people are accomplishing in their lives is something I envy. It took me forty years to learn what they already know. I want to be part of their orbit. When I am not, I feel invisible.
That is, until we meet face-to-face. Then we see each other for who we are and rejoice in that knowledge. The cloak of invisibility falls away, and I am me again. We talk about lives lived, victories won, and the scars left by learning.
Silence is seldom apathy. Sometimes it’s just life being life.
Proverbs 12:25: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”