Love without words is the most challenging love of all; It requires the person expressing their love to understand the recipient’s love language and to take physical action. “I love You” is easy to say even when you don’t mean it. It is difficult when it connotates weakness or vulnerability. Determining what a person needs to feel loved requires attention to detail. Showing love without words isn’t about saying what you think is loving, but doing what they need to feel loved. To do that, you must take the time to understand and care.
1 John 3:18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
Words and Speech
“Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.” – Frederick W. Faber.
Kind words do heal. They bring peace to the weary. Kind words should never be used sparingly. They are the suave to the wounds of life. We should always try to communicate with love and compassion. The world is full of trouble; we should not add to it.
Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
But it is easy for Christians to talk. We placate people with words, quote scripture, and offer prayers. Prayer is always good and should precede every action, but it is not enough. Scripture is fundamental to understanding what God wants us to do, but it is not the doing.
The use of words when action is needed paints Christianity as hypocritical. Jesus modeled what He taught. He demonstrated what He said through His actions. We need to be doers of the word, not just sayers.
James 1:22, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
What would it be like to sit quietly listening, then wordlessly act, meeting a need without being asked or receiving praise? When all you do is give advice, console, be empathetic, and then move on with your life, you have done more harm than good. You have provided evidence of your shallowness and the shallowness of being Christian, harming the one you speak to, and grieving the Holy Spirit.
Titus 1:16, “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”
Action and Deeds
2 Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”
For what they have done, an action word. It does not say we will receive judgment for everything we say, but what we have done. I would argue that saying without doing it sometimes does great harm.
James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”
Faith without works is dead. That is not hard to understand. One of the most rewarding things a Christian can do is to help someone in need without being asked. The joy of seeing a need and then using the resources God has put at your disposal to meet that need is overwhelming. To do it anonymously, praising God for the opportunity, is even better. God loves that we acknowledge that He, and He alone, makes it possible. He loves that we act according to the gospel, redistributing His resources. There will always be an opportunity to witness to that person after their need is met. But meeting their need opens the door to that conversation.
James 2:26, “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”
Random Acts of Kindness
When a stranger walks into someone’s life without provocation and does something to help, it leaves an indelible mark. People will not remember what was said, but they will remember the act of a stranger. Giving generously of your time is more extravagant than giving generously of your money.
Plan “random” acts of kindness that embed a gospel presentation.
Train yourself to be ready to give, serve, show love, and act in every season or circumstance.
Become the sort of person for whom Jesus-like acts of kindness become natural.
Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
Randon Acts:
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- Mail a gift card to someone going through a rough season (not text or email)
- Mow your neighbor’s lawn
- Rake your neighbor’s leaves
- Shovel your neighbor’s driveway and/or walkway
- Weed your neighbor’s flower garden
- Take out your neighbor’s bins on trash day
- Leave an encouraging note on a car windshield in the parking lot
- Offer to babysit so a couple you know can have a date night
- Offer to babysit the kids of a single mom so she can go shopping or have a few hours to herself (make this a regular thing!)
- Mentor a young adult.
- Offer a free class to kids (or beginner-level adults) on a topic in which you are skilled or knowledgeable: crochet, history, meal planning, budgeting, soccer, art, photography, woodworking, car maintenance, etc.
- Help someone move
- Talk to someone on the street. Buy them a meal, hang out with them, give them a hug or an affirming touch.
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