Nameless, Unremembered Acts of Kindness

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” – William Wordsworth

“Nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” are these ever little? Maya Angelou said it best in her award-winning book “Why the Caged Bird Sings,” “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” In the future, we have forgotten the tiff or the argument or the strife, but we remember the hurt. Similarly, songs of our youth bring us great joy, not because of the lyrics or tune, but because of the emotion of that time wafting back into our memory. We do not remember who we were with or what we were doing, but we remember how we felt.

John McAlister was one of the great men in my life. I knew him for a very short time through work; he was an older man of about fifty, and I was in my early twenties. He spoke hard truth to me with kindness. I ruthlessly drove to prove myself in everything. I was a go-fast kind of kid. It was never my intention to mistreat others; I didn’t know they were there. I ran over them like a fullback on the two-yard line. John would remind me; to be great, I had to understand and appreciate others around me. They would take me farther than I could bring myself.

Proverbs 11:17,” A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”

Years later, I heard the African proverb “to go fast, go alone: to go far, go together.” and John immediately came to mind. I think of him often, although I cannot recall a single conversation. I do hope I will see him again. John is a permanent tattoo on my heart.

Luke 6:35, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, …”

Today this verse comes to mind, not because I have enemies, but because I have friends I sometimes treat like enemies. Some of my friends are interesting characters, some experience bad days or have strange passions. There are times when my reactions to these oddities are less than loving. Generally, it happens when I am low on emotional energy. As an introvert, my batteries have to be recharged regularly, or my responses become, let us say, unfiltered.

Epictetus is famous for saying’, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” It is quoted so often that it has become a cliché. Paul says it in a more meaningful way. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. Much like Luke, the critical element is to love.

Ephesians 4:2, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love.”

Love, what an incredible emotion. There is nothing more exhilarating than being overtaken by the tsunami called love.  As humans, we crave it as much as the air we breathe. If this thing called love is what drives us, why do we keep it from others? Why, in an unfiltered moment, do I revert away from love, not toward it? I don’t know; pride, ego, downright meanness. It is one of the flaws of a fallen world; we inflict pain to avoid pain. It is a thing I have spent many a prayerful night over.

I do know this; always try to demonstrate love. For me, it is easier to do something then say something. Maybe that is a guy thing, or perhaps it is just a Tomme thing.

1 John 3:18, “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

I am human, I am flawed, and I am trying to get better. That is all any of us can do. Chase God until there is not a fiber of your being that isn’t screaming out in pure joy. Make every moment count like it was your last; it might be. In that unfiltered moment that will come, call on the God that loved you first to help you love others. Channel the exhilaration of being loved into loving others. Remember you were made in the image of God.

Micah 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Waiting on God

Let me start with a short story about patience. On the very first visit to a prison, God helped me better understand patience when waiting on God. I went with Champions for Life, and I was in Broad River Correctional, Columbia, SC. I was standing next to the rail overlooking the cellblock below me. I was in this particular location to avoid speaking to the inmates. Because it was my first visit, I was uncomfortable, and I didn’t feel I had anything to share. So I was hiding in plain sight. I was there without really being there.

My thoughts were on a hundred things without landing on anything, fleeting moments of clarity that dissipated like the fog in the morning sun. I know they were there, without knowing what they were. Then I heard, “I have been praying for weeks that my lawyer would find a way to get me out of here.” This inmate had settled next to me, without making eye contact with me, and started talking to me. You see, he wasn’t a Christian, but he thought he would try out prayer. He didn’t expect anything, but he had hope. I was a Christian; maybe I knew the answer.

Jeremiah 29:12, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”

The good news was that this was a conversation that didn’t require scripture memorization. This inmate didn’t know scripture. He had no preconceived theology. He didn’t even know if he had the right to expect an answer. He just made a statement. New evidence came to light that proved his innocence. But getting released was a process, not an event. A lawyer had taken his case and was working on his release. For two months, the inmate hadn’t heard a thing. That had to be incredibly depressing; to have spent years in prison knowing you are innocent, evidence finally surfaces proving your innocence, the release would come from outside the walls, and you were stuck inside.

I can’t remember the exact conversation as none of the words were mine. It went something like this; there was evidence to be reviewed, docket to be cleared, maybe hearts to be softened, liability to be assessed; God’s time is not our time. I remember his response; “Thank you, I prayed for encouragement, and He sent it through you.” That floored me. I couldn’t remember what I said; how could it have been encouraging. Was what I said even true?

1 John 5:15, “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

What I took away from that weekend was to wait upon the Lord. I’m impatient, get it done, execution is everything type of guy. Ideas are a dime-a-dozen; success comes from following through. With my first visit to a prison, my challenge was that I wanted to experience changed lives, souls reborn. I wanted God to provide me with immediate fulfillment. I didn’t see this first visit as a step toward a new destination; it was the new destination. I fall into this trap all the time. I’m impatient about God’s plan for my life. Everything is significant, and I want to know why. I want instant feedback to confirm I am on the right path.

How do these seemingly false starts keep me on the right path? Why hasn’t this person or that person responded the way I thought they should? Why has nothing happened when I have worked so hard? I am waiting on the evidence that God is with me.

Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

The second I ask, the prayer is answered. When Jesus saw the fig tree without fruit, he cursed it. But it did not die right away.

Mark 11:12-14, “The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.”

Mark 11:20, “In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots.”

The fig tree died from the root. It started dying the second it was cursed, but the evidence wasn’t clear until the next morning. God answers prayer the second we ask, but the fruit of that blessing may not be seen for some time. My impatience saps the joy out of that blessing. Sometimes when I don’t get what I want, when I want it, I stop looking and miss the blessing altogether.

Today I have a situation that I have prayed about for years. I have not prayed for a specific resolution, just that one happens. I want God’s will to be done. It ebbs and flows like the tide crashing over the shore; good days followed by bad days followed by good days—every fiber of my being screams out to walk away. I’m tired of it all. But a small, meek voice always cautions me to be patient; one day, God’s plan will be revealed. One day.

God may send someone to encourage you, He may not, but the blessing is already happening. Know that it is happening and know that God is faithful in all things.

Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

The Hand of God

Genesis 45:8, “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.”

Today Joseph visited me. He wanted to remind me of something. Remember, Joseph is the guy that alienated himself from his brothers. He listened from the bottom of a well as they bartered away his life. His flesh and blood despised him so much they sold him to an infidel as a slave. Later he was wrongfully accused and sent to prison. Despite all Joseph had been through because of his brothers’ actions, he held no animosity toward them. Instead, he believed the hand of God was in everything.

Joseph reminded me of Ester and Jonah and others in the bible that endured heartbreak and calamity on the path to great things. Joseph consented to God’s power and had hope because of it. Jonah feared God’s providence and ran from it. Ester had to be told by Mordecai. They all were on the path to greatness, but greatness was over the horizon out of view.

I am always reminded that great stories start from great sadness. We love the joy of overcoming and sometimes fly over the journey. We gravitate to the feel-good ending without savoring the life they lived. No one wants to retire in war-torn Beirut. We do not want to talk ourselves to sleep at night by reliving the struggles; we want to bask in the overcoming’s glory.

As I struggle through this day, Joseph reminds me that his journey was critical to his prosperity. It is through his story that he  has value. The things I face today can either be obstacles in the way of my happiness or stepping stones to God’s glory. It is my choice.

John 16:33, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage—I have conquered the world.”

The bible is very clear that we will all face struggles in this world. Some of those struggles are of the nascence variety; some are devastating. Their value is mostly seen in the rearview mirror of life. The path is seldom flat, and wide, and lined with flowers. There are a lot of hills and rocks and roots. We shouldn’t lose sight that every twist and turn has meaning and value; God’s cemented His plans in everyday actions.

I love Mordecai’s statement to Ester:

Esther 4:14b, “Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”

What we face; what we endure; what we triumph over is part of the fabric of our lives. It is part of the great tapestry God created for you before you came into existence. It is one of the greatest stories ever told, written by the most incredible author in the universe. It is meant to be lived. As hard as that may seem at times, it is true. Joseph was in a well listening to his family, betray him. Ester lost her family and was sent into exile to serve a pagan king. Jonah survived in the stomach of a whale. Each of these had their moments. We, too, will have ours.

It is what we do in those moments that define us. It is who we see in the mirror that determines our greatness. Our efforts do not create our greatness, but the action of the one who made us just for this moment. The courage we must muster is not the courage to overcome, but the courage to reach out our hand and ask our creator to take over; not to struggle and persevere, but to fall into His grace and turn the fight over to Him. Only through Him can we prevail. We can’t see over the horizon, but He can.

We live in trying times. Our plans are on hold, and the future became a fog of uncertainty. God knew this. It is part of His plan for you. It is times as these where we as Christian become separated from the weeds.

Matthew 13:30, “Let both grow together until the harvest. Then I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them, and to put the wheat in the barn.'”

When our time comes, we want people to remember our greatness. We want them to remember how we held tight to God’s promise. We want them to remember when we could have taken the low road, but chose to have faith. We were born for times, such as these.  It is in these moments that God marvels of the greatness He created in us, and the greatness we chose to pursue. Today, choose to make God smile.

Peter Pan

Peter Pan said, “You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.”

Peter wasn’t wrong. Paul put it a little differently.

Philippians 3:7, “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.”

Many people, men, more likely, have sacrificed everything else to gain power, privilege, wealth, or fame. The worldly trappings and the expectations of others drove their view of self-worth; they believed Peter Pan before they believed Paul. They thought that the uneasiness they felt was the product of not having enough. It was just the next thing that would make a difference. Many would look back on their lives and see that they had sacrificed everything in vain.

I don’t want to be that man. I want my life to count for something. I want to leave a legacy that will echo through eternity. In my death, I want to be bigger than life itself.

Matthew 6:19-20, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on Earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal.”

The world pulls at us with the gravitation pull of the Sun. It wants to keep us in its orbit of mundane, meaningless accomplishments. Eventually, our orbit will decay, and we will find nothing but a fiery finish. When the time has run out, we will realize that all that we accumulated will either be forgotten or exploited by others we have never met. We cannot reach back for a do-over. The do-over starts now.

Ecclesiastes 5:15, “Everyone comes naked from their mother’s womb, and as everyone comes, so they depart. They take nothing from their toil that they can carry in their hands.”

Joy is a choice, and God wants us to choose joy, but happiness is also part of God’s plan. Not perpetual happiness with laughs and birthday cake, but true deep down happiness that grows from the soul. The type of happiness that brings tranquil sleep. It is a happiness that radiates throughout your body in quiet moments of reflection. It is a contentment that nothing else can give.

Peter Pan also said, “Never is an awfully long time.” To never experience the pure love of Christ is indeed a long time. It makes life a marathon in Death Valley, rather than a walk in the park. To always have to trust in yourself is exhausting. To always have to know the answers, have the plan, make a move, is to live a  life full of anxiety and worry.

Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Seeking His kingdom and His righteousness is not just to put your sights on eternity with Christ; it is to live a life worth living here on Earth. It is to free yourself from chasing the esteem from others and only pursuing God. It is about having the type of faith that knows that Christ is with you, and your needs will be met. There will be setbacks and challenges, but you are not in it alone. You do not have to create the person that God wants you to be; God already created them; you have to find them within yourself.

Peter Pan, “To have faith is to have wings.”

Peter Pan wasn’t all wrong, but I’ll take Paul.