Do we live for God or with God? We all go through seasons of doubt. It is those times when we think God does not love us enough to carry us through. We feel we have let Him down, or maybe we are too disappointing for Him to care about us. God has said our salvation is free for the asking but is love? We desire the unbounded, incredible, fill-me-until-burst love that gives our life meaning and purpose. It is validation that we matter.
Acts 4:12, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”
I, like everyone else, go through those times. I used to live a life entirely dedicated to myself. It wasn’t a conscious decision; it was life in a broken world. I am a high type “A” personality. I like rhythm and cadence in my life. Plan your work, work your plan. When I lived for myself, I thought I had a good idea of my destination. I knew the point on the horizon I was driving toward; at least, I thought I did. When I didn’t see progress, I could analyze my plan, adjust, and move forward. I got stuck occasionally, but I understood where I was. I just needed to determine the next step. Life was not easy, but it was understandable. I was raised that I was never a victim except for my own actions. I was the captain of my destiny.
Matthew 7:21, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”
Introspection
Then Christ came into my life. He lifted the burden of achievement from my life, giving me permission and acceptance when I felt I hadn’t achieved my potential. He gave me a purpose greater than myself. But He is an invisible God. God’s ways are always true and right; they are the very definition of His existence. It is my perception of that truth that haunts me. If I get what I want, when I want, I am blessed. When God’s timing or direction isn’t what I expect, I have lost His favor or disappointed Him somehow. But God is always true and right.
Hebrews 6:10, “God always does what is right. He will not forget the work you did to help the Christians and the work you are still doing to help them. This shows your love for Christ.”
For me, this year is a year of introspection. Not the easy kind that can be achieved through a few kind words and determination. It is the hard kind, full of self-doubt, deep dives into my wants and desires, requiring me to deal with my emotions, emotions I would prefer to leave dormant. It took time and effort to bury these deep inside me even more effort to bring them back to life.
Living For God
“The sin underneath all our sins is to trust the lie of the serpent that we cannot trust the love and grace of Christ and must take matters into our own hands” ~ Martin Luther.
It started with a simple question: Do I live for God or with God? Living for God is easy to understand. It is following all the laws, being kind and compassionate, and going on mission trips, doing everything I think would make God love me more. It is me trying to make a partial payment of the cost of my salvation.
Deuteronomy 6:17, “You should diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, and His testimonies and His statutes which He has commanded you.”
Living for God believes that God has a credit system that allows for the ebb and tide of His emotions toward us. It believes that salvation is free to all who believe in Christ’s redemptive power, but love is different. Love is something that I must earn through behavior. It proves to God that I love Him; therefore, He can feel free to love me. Living for God makes us feel good at times and rejected at other times. Mission trips earn us credits and angry words debits. It is the quid pro quo of Christianity.
That is my life. What is my motivation? Do I do what I do because it is true and right?
Living With God
Living with God is being in synch with His desires. It is doing what we do because it is who we are. God cannot love us more. His love is unconditional. God’s love for us is pure, without constraint, and beyond our understanding. Our actions do not affect God’s love and desire for us.
1 John 3:1, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The world does not know us because it did not know him.”
This season of my life is about believing that God loves me unconditionally. It is about understanding what it means to live with God, not just for God. I find it difficult to understand what it means to put myself aside and live a life with God. I have a long history of living for God. It is a pattern that I understand. I have become accustomed to the highs and lows of earning God’s love. Now, I must learn to live like Jesus, not for Jesus. That is a significant next step for me. I need to think like I am part of Him; he is not a third party evaluating my actions.
“There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments, and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a best friend that stands beside you when others cast stones, you will never be afraid, never feel worthless, and never feel alone.” ~ Shannon Alder
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
A great resource on this subject is: “Reimagining the Way You Relate to God” by Skye Jethani