Tag: Love

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Whose Life are You Going to Change?

Whose life are you going to change? I heard this as part of a discussion about the Oregon Ducks commemorating fallen players. As they hiked up the mountain trail, the coach asked them to remember those who helped them become who they are. On the return trip down the mountain, the coach asked them to think about those they would impact to change their lives in much the same way.

Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Life

“I am only one, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will” ~ Edward Everett Hale.

We all leave a legacy. That is not a choice we get to make. It is an artifact of our existence. As we go through life, we leave our fingerprints on everything we touch. The real question that comes to mind is: Are we approaching this with intentionality? Do we acknowledge that we will leave a legacy and have a plan to make it meaningful?

I firmly believe that God created each of us unique and perfect for his plans. We cannot be someone else, and they cannot be us. As people, we can value the characteristics and achievements of others, but we were not created to duplicate them. We each have our own path through life.

“What you are is God’s gift to you; what you become is your gift to God.” ~ Hans Urs von Balthasar

Change

Planning at the macro level, with blue-sky objectives and lifetime bucket lists, is admirable, but it doesn’t prepare you for your impact on the lives God sends through your life. These people will be imprinted by your presence, good or bad. Every interaction brings a person closer to Christ or pushes them further away. No interaction is neutral. When we acknowledge that every moment and every interaction is essential to God’s plan, that is when our royal legacy takes seed. Through the acceptance that we matter to God and, therefore, everyone we encounter also matters to Him, actions start to germinate.

Matthew 28:19, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

So often, we pass through life thinking that our immediate reaction won’t matter in the long run. God will forgive a momentary relapse to our old self. We can even go to the offended party and ask for forgiveness, but other eyes are watching, people we may never have direct contact with. These are the hidden lives God sends our way—people unprepared for direct interaction but still need encouragement. In that hidden moment, they may decide that Christianity does not offer the solution they seek.

Judgment

Matthew 7:21, “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.”

In Revelations, the Bible talks about the White Throne of Judgement. Christ will judge the living and dead. Christians will not be judged for their sins; Christ has already forgiven them. They will be judged for their actions for Christ since they knew Him. Don’t let these moments slip away. Be intentional. Ask God for opportunities. Make a plan, rehearse your approach, be open to opportunities, and obey. We are not all destined to do great things, but we all can be great to someone.

Revelations 20: 12, “And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.”

Attending church, Bible Studies, praying, and mission trips prepare you for God’s plan for your life. But your true glorification of Christ is through expanding His Kingdom here on earth. You accomplish this by changing the lives of the people God puts in front of you. At that moment in front of the White Throne, you don’t have to have done anything; your salvation is assured. But I don’t think I would want to defend the position that my lifestyle, financial security, social position, or personal insecurity were more important. I could have had an impact for Christ; I just didn’t.

Hebrews 13:16, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

Homecoming

Homecoming should be a celebration. We should look forward to it. If you are a little trepid about explaining what you have done for Christ since you accepted Him as your personal Savior, maybe you need to rethink your plan. It is never too late to start anew. Leave a legacy, change a life. Make your homecoming a party to look forward to.

1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. “

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Message About the U.S. Election from Pastor Jason Cook

Many of us took up our American freedom and cast our ballots this week. That vote is in and our new president is Donald Trump. Mercifully, we do not have to wait days, weeks, or months to know this with certainty. The question of who will be our next President has been answered.

However three questions loom large for us as a church: Who are we? What is our Kingdom calling? How should we live?

The Church is the bride of Christ and functions as an outpost of heaven — a counter-cultural Kingdom colony. We are more than a collection of individuals; we are a family and holy ground that anticipates heaven. Fellowship is that and more.

We are an inter-cultural, inter-generational, and inter-ideological holy remnant who does not bow the knee to a world leader or power. We venerate and worship the Christ who has saved us and is our King. We are those who belong to God and have a Kingdom calling to worship God and care deeply for our neighbors.

Our identity as children of God is cast in stone — won by the body, blood, and resurrection of Jesus. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God. We have been called to make disciples of all ethnicities, languages, countries, ideologies, and political affiliations. We do so gladly and joyfully! Now that the election is behind us one question remains: How should we live? [Let’s focus on today, because tomorrow has troubles of its own.] Today, feel your feelings. Whether exultant or discouraged we are humans who should make space and time to feel what we feel.

But let’s agree to not stay there. We have too much work to do. We must not remain in despair or live in discouragement for the future because of the outcome of the election. Nor should we gloat or strut because our team won. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re excited, be excited! Feel your feelings. Feel them deeply. But don’t make how you feel today your emotional home.

How then shall we live as a people? We live with Trust and Hope.

Considering the range of emotion within our church it would be wise for each of us to choose to trust and hope.

Trust in the God who commands all things under his power and is near to us at every moment. Trust that God truly is working all things out for the good of those who love him—including who is elected to office. And we must hope. Hope that God will continue to restrain sin and its effects across the world. Hope that the Kingdom of God still marches on to its inevitable end. Hope that we will one day be with Jesus.

And hope that Jesus will arrive in the sky and bring us home. A church that trusts God’s deep involvement in our lives and is willing to courageously hope is a church that lives well. We must continue to preach and live out the gospel. We must continue to hope in the resurrection. We continue to love our neighbors and invest in the world around us. Fellowship, this is our moment. Now is Our time.

We should remember the instruction of Romans 12:14-18:

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

If you are rejoicing today, rejoice! If you are sad today, be sad. Feel your feelings. AND fix your mind and heart on Jesus.

Fellowship, Now is our time. Today and each day ahead we can do something that rarely happens at churches across our nation: We can create space for each of us to feel deeply AND choose to live at peace with one another. We were built for this. We were made for this moment. God has constructed our inter-generational and inter-cultural fellowship to not only endure such a time but thrive through it.

There is, perhaps, no other church more battle tested and ready for the days ahead. Now is our time. This is our moment to be the people God has called us to be. This is the appointed time for us to live into our Kingdom calling. We were made for this moment!

How then shall we live? We live unto God so that Everyone Everywhere Experiences Jesus! Friends, we have work to do. As the church we press on toward the upward call in Christ Jesus. We press on in prayer. We press on in hope. We press on in trust. We press on until what is happening in the throne room of God (at this moment!) is also happening at Fellowship, in our communities, in our homes, and in us: As it is on earth as it is in heaven.

Let’s continue our work together until Everyone, Everywhere Experiences Jesus. Our purpose matters. You matter. We matter. Regardless of how you voted, how you feel today, or your hopes about the future of our nation one thing remains true: You Belong Here!

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The Scene of the Crime is in Your Mind

Mind in BondageThe scene of the crime is in your mind. What misdeed we discuss doesn’t matter; human behavior starts with a thought. Given the fertilizer of attention, that thought grows into a preoccupation, which in turn bears fruit.

Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

“By the Grace of God, we are highly favored. His Grace is bigger than what our minds can ever comprehend.” – Gift Gugu Mona, Daily Quotes about God: 365 Days of Heavenly Inspiration

Behavior

Behavior is an intricate reflection of the mind’s inner workings; every action we take, whether consciously or unconsciously, originates in the vast landscape of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that reside within us. In this sense, the “scene of the crime”—whether noble or destructive—occurs in the mind long before it manifests outwardly.

Proverbs 16:9, “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

Our thoughts act as the architects of behavior. A single thought, however fleeting, can lead to a cascade of actions that ripple through our lives. When negativity takes root, it can distort our perceptions, fostering actions we may later regret.

Romans 12:16, “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.”

But the mind is also the birthplace of acts of kindness, empathy, and courage, beginning with recognizing that God first loved us. When we choose to foster thoughts of compassion, we align our actions with values first demonstrated by Christ.

The mind is the battlefield where good and evil forces wage war. To change our behavior, we must first build a fortress of sound theology. Upon this foundation, we can build on the hope and joy God has promised us.

The Mind Battle

The human mind is a complex and mysterious place where the forces of good and evil clash daily. This internal struggle is universal, transcending culture, time, and place. It is the essence of what it means to be human, and it often defines the choices we make and the paths we walk in life.

Philippians 2:2, “Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.”

Good and evil are forces that are not external agents acting upon us but internal impulses that we navigate within ourselves. They are the by-product of a fallen world. Every thought, emotion, and decision is part of this ongoing battle. On one side, spiritual qualities such as kindness, empathy, compassion, and honesty are the fruits of goodness. It is that which we do to glorify Christ.

Conversely, evil manifests as selfishness, anger, greed, and deceit. It is an action opposed to Christ. It tempts us to act in ways that harm others or serve only our immediate desires.

This battle is not always clear-cut. The mind is a place of nuance, and good and evil often intermingle in complex ways. Satan is the master of the half-truth. Positive behavior centered around selfishness is more harmful than painful actions done with compassion.

Mind Over Matter

At the heart of this battle is the concept of choice. We are powerless in and of ourselves to conquer evil. It is only Christ that can give us this power. Our thoughts and actions shape our daily choices—whether to react with patience or anger, help someone in need, or turn away. This constant decision-making must be grounded in scripture.

Romans 15:6, “So that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Ultimately, the struggle between good and evil is not about achieving perfection but striving to be more like Jesus. It reminds us that we are responsible for our actions; despite the challenges, we have the power, through Christ, to choose the light over the darkness.

Thus, the saying holds: crime and redemption begin in the mind.

Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

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Love Without Words

Acts of Kindness

Love without words is the most challenging love of all; It requires the person expressing their love to understand the recipient’s love language and to take physical action. “I love You” is easy to say even when you don’t mean it. It is difficult when it connotates weakness or vulnerability. Determining what a person needs to feel loved requires attention to detail. Showing love without words isn’t about saying what you think is loving, but doing what they need to feel loved. To do that, you must take the time to understand and care.

1 John 3:18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Words and Speech

“Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.” – Frederick W. Faber.

Kind words do heal. They bring peace to the weary. Kind words should never be used sparingly. They are the suave to the wounds of life. We should always try to communicate with love and compassion. The world is full of trouble; we should not add to it.

Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

But it is easy for Christians to talk. We placate people with words, quote scripture, and offer prayers. Prayer is always good and should precede every action, but it is not enough. Scripture is fundamental to understanding what God wants us to do, but it is not the doing.

The use of words when action is needed paints Christianity as hypocritical. Jesus modeled what He taught. He demonstrated what He said through His actions. We need to be doers of the word, not just sayers.

James 1:22, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

What would it be like to sit quietly listening, then wordlessly act, meeting a need without being asked or receiving praise? When all you do is give advice, console, be empathetic, and then move on with your life, you have done more harm than good. You have provided evidence of your shallowness and the shallowness of being Christian, harming the one you speak to, and grieving the Holy Spirit.

Titus 1:16, “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”

Action and Deeds

2 Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

For what they have done, an action word. It does not say we will receive judgment for everything we say, but what we have done. I would argue that saying without doing it sometimes does great harm.

James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Faith without works is dead. That is not hard to understand. One of the most rewarding things a Christian can do is to help someone in need without being asked. The joy of seeing a need and then using the resources God has put at your disposal to meet that need is overwhelming. To do it anonymously, praising God for the opportunity, is even better. God loves that we acknowledge that He, and He alone, makes it possible. He loves that we act according to the gospel, redistributing His resources. There will always be an opportunity to witness to that person after their need is met. But meeting their need opens the door to that conversation.

James 2:26, “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”

Random Acts of Kindness

When a stranger walks into someone’s life without provocation and does something to help, it leaves an indelible mark. People will not remember what was said, but they will remember the act of a stranger. Giving generously of your time is more extravagant than giving generously of your money.

Plan “random” acts of kindness that embed a gospel presentation.

Train yourself to be ready to give, serve, show love, and act in every season or circumstance.

Become the sort of person for whom Jesus-like acts of kindness become natural.

Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Randon Acts:

      •  Mail a gift card to someone going through a rough season (not text or email)
      •  Mow your neighbor’s lawn
      •  Rake your neighbor’s leaves
      •  Shovel your neighbor’s driveway and/or walkway
      •  Weed your neighbor’s flower garden
      •  Take out your neighbor’s bins on trash day
      •  Leave an encouraging note on a car windshield in the parking lot
      •  Offer to babysit so a couple you know can have a date night
      •  Offer to babysit the kids of a single mom so she can go shopping or have a few hours to herself (make this a regular thing!)
      •  Mentor a young adult.
      •  Offer a free class to kids (or beginner-level adults) on a topic in which you are skilled or knowledgeable: crochet, history, meal planning, budgeting, soccer, art, photography, woodworking, car maintenance, etc.
      •  Help someone move
      •  Talk to someone on the street. Buy them a meal, hang out with them, give them a hug or an affirming touch.
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God’s Tapestry of Life

Each of us is a double-knotted thread in God’s tapestry of life. In His greatness, He died for our past, present, and future sins. From sinful man, He created a new creation free of sin. But that new creation lives in a fallen and sinful world. He knew this when He created all our existence. It was done with a plan in mind.

Colossians 1:16, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”

Tapestry

“God’s plan will continue on God’s schedule.” ― A.W. Tozer.

Before all creation, God created you. You are a specific piece in an enormous tapestry representing God’s plan for eternity. I remember a trip to Turkey, where I learned about the Turkish rug-making business. I was privileged to see how a Turkish rug was made, from the silkworm to the finished product. It is incredible that, to this day, it still holds to the ancient manual process created thousands of years ago. It has not been modernized. An authentic Turkish rug is made by hand in every aspect, from extracting the silk for the cocoon to hand-dying the silk using berries and leaves to creating the silk thread and weaving the masterpiece by double knotting each thread. It can take nine to eighteen months to make a single rug.

Isaiah 40:28, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.”

The fascinating part is that the weaver works from the back side of the rug. They see tied knots of multi-colored thread, row after row. It is only when they turn the rug over that they see the image. The image is made up of millions of tightly knotted multi-colored threads hand-picked from memory. If one thread is out of place, and the image is flawed, the weaver must undo their work back to the point of error and reweave with the correct thread.

Your Thread

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

You are a thread in God’s tapestry. You are important and special. Your life has purpose and meaning. The world looks like a mass of tied multi-colored knots that make little sense to us. To God, it is the perfect image of His creation. Your purpose isn’t to be the picture but to be part of the picture. Most of us are the predominant mono-color of the background. Our place is to frame the multi-colored threads that make up the scene. But without the contrast of the background, the scene loses its impact. We set the stage and make the introduction for the final product. We are the foundation that holds the tapestry together so that the total image can impact the viewer. The viewer is God and God alone. It is His tapestry.

Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Some of us are the multi-colored thread that brings out the scene. But before we give ourselves too much importance, we must remember there are millions of multi-colored threads, which must all accept their place to make the total image work. One does not carry more importance than another. It is all the threads working together to make God’s tapestry. He is the weaver, choosing the threads one by one.

Your Purpose

Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Do not look at your life as man looks at life, if you do it will only bring you pain. Look at life as God looks at life; each one is precious and important; each has purpose and meaning. God chooses each of us with love and compassion as He weaves the image of Himself. Take hope from the understanding that you are exactly who God made you be to achieve the unique purpose He planned for your life before creation. Embrace it and live it. Eternity is a very long time, and the final image is enormous; don’t get lost in the everyday.

Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”

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Point Nemo

Point Nemo is one of the most remote locations on Earth, officially known as the oceanic pole of inaccessibility. It is the point in the ocean that is farthest from any land. Specifically, it lies in the South Pacific Ocean, about 2,688 kilometers (1,450 nautical miles) from the nearest landmasses. The International Space Station is closer than any landmass.

There are times when I believe I am at the pole of inaccessibility. I’m disconnected from what is going on around me. The world is whirling around me; activity is everywhere, and I don’t care. I’m in my little world that seems frozen in time. My prayer life slows to a standstill. I pray, but not with conviction. I’m walking knee-deep in mud.

Psalm 32:1-2 – “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.”

The lies are impeccably factual. They contain no errors. There are no distortions or falsified data. But they’re lies all the same because they claim to tell us who we are and omit everything about our origin in God and our destiny in God. – Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction

Point Nemo

We all experience times when we seem to have been left behind by the world around us. We have concerns and issues that don’t matter to anyone but us. Someone has hurt us unintentionally; we know there is no real cause, but we feel it. When we feel disconnected from the world, even amid a crowd, it’s like a glass wall surrounds us—able to see and hear everything but not truly part of it.

Untreated, this feeling can mushroom into full-blown depression. For most of us, it is a fleeting melancholy. Generally, we are left feeling like we don’t matter; our goals and dreams are too far away. Our past controls our future. We don’t measure up to the people around us. Maybe because we can’t catch a break, everything is too hard. Money, work, family, friends, and society are flashpoints.

Psalm 32:1-2 – Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.

Traversing this storm in life feels like being caught in a cyclone where the winds of uncertainty howl and the rain of challenges pours relentlessly. Each step forward is met with resistance as if the very ground beneath is shifting, threatening to swallow us up. Amidst the chaos, there are moments of exhaustion, where the weight of the storm bears down, making every breath a battle. How do we escape the pole of inaccessibility?

Tranquil Journey

The raging storm is a mirage; it doesn’t actually exist. It is a construct of our mind. That is hard to believe. Isn’t it? Most visits to Point Nemo are self-inflicted wounds. Point Nemo is real, but the journey away from Point Nemo doesn’t require you to overcome a storm. You feel what you feel (Point Nemo), but the path to serenity doesn’t require a great physical effort. More importantly, you do not have to accomplish it alone. The more time you spend at Point Nemo, the harder it is to believe you can leave.

Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Seeking refuge in Christ is our only hope, whether we feel condemned by our actions or by the actions of others. Christ is our true identity, and our past does not bind us. Instead, we are defined by Him. Scripture continually guides us forward, reminding us that our identity rests in Him alone.

Remember that solutions take as much time to create as problems, and problems are not as spontaneous as you think. You will not change your thinking quickly when you have taken a lifetime to create it. The journey starts with prayer and proceeds through a path of willing friends and loving family.

2 Corinthians 5:21, “For our sake he made him be sin who knew no sin so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

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Contentment, Happiness, and Joy

Joy and HappinessContentment, Happiness, and Joy: I discussed these three issues with a good friend. It is easy to get confused. Which one is the most important?

Contentment

I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, I still possess. – Martin Luther

1 Timothy 6:6-7, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”

Contentment is a state of being satisfied with what one has. It’s a feeling of peace and acceptance regarding one’s situation. It comes from a place of acceptance and is often associated with having a sense of sufficiency and being at ease with one’s life.

Contentment offers a steady and enduring sense of satisfaction and peace. It’s less dependent on external circumstances, which means it can provide a reliable foundation for well-being. Contentment makes you more likely to navigate life’s ups and downs with a balanced perspective. Contentment is about accepting and finding peace with what you have.

Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'”

Happiness

Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose… only (upon) the Beloved who will never pass away. – C.S. Lewis

Luke 12:15, “Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'”

Happiness is a broad term that generally refers to well-being and euphoria. It encompasses various emotions and experiences that make one feel good. It comes from external factors like achievements, relationships, or material possessions, as well as internal factors like personal attitudes and outlook on life.

External factors heavily influence happiness and might fluctuate based on circumstances, achievements, or experiences. While happiness can be exhilarating, it often relies on positive external factors or events that are not always within our control.

Joy

Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering; it is the presence of God. – Sam Storms

Ecclesiastes 3:12, “I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.”

Joy is a deep-rooted, inspired happiness that transcends circumstances. Unlike fleeting emotions tied to external events, biblical joy is a state of contentment, confidence, and hope rooted in a relationship with God. It is often associated with spiritual well-being and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Biblical joy is a profound and enduring state of happiness rooted in a relationship with God, characterized by trust, hope, and the assurance of His presence and promises.

Galatians 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.”

What is your Priority?

After a long debate and much consternation, I walked away thinking this: Joy is the essence of my existence, Contentment is a goal I have control over, and Happiness, well, I hope it visits me often. I can be joyful in any situation, even when I am discontent. The strength of that choice is God’s promise for my life. Contentment can be challenging because it typically requires physical, emotional, worldly, and spiritual living within my means. Sometimes, in a broken world, being content is problematic; it takes tenacity.

Happiness is a bluebird; in sales, we used to refer to a bluebird as a sale that dropped into your lap. That is a good metaphor. Happiness happens; it is spontaneous and serendipitous. We can build an environment that improves the likelihood of it visiting, but it takes external conditions for it to appear. Just as quickly as it comes, an event can chase it away.

Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

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Cascading Decisions

Helping othersCascading decisions rule our lives. Millions of people make millions of everyday decisions in millions of places, causing a cascade that eventually affects us. The overseas workers can make the products we bring into our homes. Their decision every morning to work hard or blow it off can eventually affect us. People’s interactions with significant others, friends, family, or co-workers affect how they go about their lives and may encroach on our lives. Product developers in companies worldwide make decisions every day that eventually seep into our existence. People we never see, talk with, or know, make decisions that eventually cause difficulties.

Why is it important to understand this human dynamic? Every day, we face challenges created outside our sphere of influence. These challenges are ours; we own them. We are the ones that react in the wake of their existence. How we react is part of the millions making decisions that affect others. We see the immediate impact on those close to us, but we may not see the ripple effect across time.

The person we cut in front of in line at the grocery store who then speaks harshly to their mate, who then takes that out on an employee. The cycle goes on. A viral tsunami of vitriol emotions that spawns outward. Just as we are the recipients of cascading decisions made by others, so are others the recipients of ours.

Prayer

“True prayer is neither a mere mental exercise nor a vocal performance. It is far deeper than that – it is spiritual transaction with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.” – Charles Spurgeon

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Why did this come to mind? It came to mind because of its impact on answered prayer. Yes, God can and does create miracles. But I don’t think He is in the miracle business. Throughout the New Testament, Jesus constantly comments on an unbelieving world that requires signs and miracles to believe. He does not want us to rely on miracles as evidence of our faith. He wants our faith to reveal the evidence of His miracles.

1 John 5:15, “And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

The example that comes to mind is the fig tree Jesus cursed as He arrived in Jerusalem. It did not wither and die immediately. The fig tree revealed the evidence of the curse the next day. Prayer works that way many times. Yes, I have had the experience of prayer being answered almost immediately, which is what I would describe as a miracle. But often, my prayers are answered in a very subtle way over time. Sometimes, if I am not looking, I miss them all together. It is later that I realize the impact of that single prayer.

1 John 5:14, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

Cascading Decisions

Keep this in mind as you pray. We are not an island but part of an eight-billion-person ecosystem. Most problems we face are not simple transactions between two people but the cascading culmination of many decisions. The way God answers our prayers may affect more people than ourselves. This cascade of actions starts the moment we pray. We may not see the results of these actions for some time. It does not mean God does not go to work the moment you pray, but, like the fig tree, the results take time.

Psalm 145:18, “The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.”

Do not get discouraged when you feel that God did not hear you. Do not feel your faith is weak because the answer was not immediate. Be patient; let God work in the lives of all the people affected by His response. Many times, I miscalculated the complexity of my prayer only to see the impact on myself and maybe a few others. I don’t see the pattern of ripples as this one decision goes across time.

God Loves You

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

God loves you unconditionally, even when we do not reciprocate that love. God never changes. He is not affected by mere human frailties; He knows us better than we know ourselves. God knows what you are going through. What He wants from you is for you to glorify Him by coming to Him with whatever is on your mind. He wants you to invite Him into your world.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

The world is not too complex for Him. He created it along with the universe. God looks over every person, animal, plant, insect, molecule, and quark He created. To us, it is a giant and hostile planet constantly buffeted by the afterglow of Adam’s betrayal. To God, it is His loving creation that He carefully cares for even when we do not see it.

Romans 1:20, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.”

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Everyone has a Story.

Listen and SilentEveryone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and listen.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“

Everyone’s Story

I have traveled worldwide and met people of many diverse cultures. What I have learned is that we all share the same DNA when it comes to life stories. It starts in tragedy, then crescendos to the impossible, and ends with great overcoming. The crescendo’s amplitude varies based on the environment, but the storyline remains intact.

I have found that the root cause of much of the conflict we experience in life is a lack of understanding about our commonality. We focus too much on our differences and not enough on our similarities.

Hebrews 3:4, “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”

Everyone has a personal story of overcoming challenges, and these stories are profoundly individual yet universally relatable. These stories showcase resilience, growth, and the human capacity to adapt and thrive in adversity. Listening to these stories can inspire us, foster empathy, and build connections by highlighting everyday experiences and struggles. Each story is a testament to the strength and determination inherent in the human spirit, reminding us that we can overcome even the most daunting obstacles.

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” — Dean Jackson.

EARNING THE RIGHT TO SPEAK

Mark 12:31, “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

How do you earn the right to speak? Most of us enter a conversation assuming we have the right to speak our minds. While this is conventional wisdom, it should not be the default attitude. A better way to position yourselves is to earn this right to speak.

Be Attentive: Eliminate distractions and concentrate fully on the speaker. Maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and adopt an open posture to show you are actively engaged in the conversation. You are not listening until it is your turn to talk; you are listening to understand their point of view.

Proverbs 18:13, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

 Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker finish their thoughts without interjecting. Pause before replying to ensure the speaker has finished their point. Keep your emotions in check and avoid reacting impulsively. Allow the conversation to flow naturally without rushing. We almost always find something to respond to in the middle of their monologue. There is a natural inclination to stop the speaker while your thoughts are fresh. If you let them continue, you show respect, and you might learn something that changes your response.

 Show Empathy: Try to grasp the speaker’s emotions and perspectives. Acknowledge their feelings and experiences. This action shows that you understand and care. You can’t fake this. You care, or you don’t care. If you don’t care, why are you even having this conversation?

 Ask Questions: Ask open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding. Questions should encourage the speaker to elaborate and share more details. The advice given to me is to convert every statement into a question. Instead of saying, “That won’t work.”, say, “How do you see that working?

 Avoid Judgments: Listen without forming immediate opinions or assumptions. Respect the speaker’s viewpoint, even if it differs from your own.

Benefits of Listening

Proverbs 1:5, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”

When we become so wrapped up in our own story that we can not see or choose to disregard the story of others, we miss an incredible opportunity for grace. Rather than launching into a defense of our story, stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the story of the person in front of you. Here is what you might Learn:

Value of Empathy: Listening to someone’s story is a way to walk in their shoes, to see the world through their eyes. It fosters empathy and deepens your understanding of human experiences, creating meaningful connections. People do not create positions contrary to their experiences. There is a reason they think what they think. Discover it.

Personal Growth: Every story you hear can teach you something new. It can challenge your perspectives, broaden your horizons, and contribute to personal growth. We are all a product of our environment, and so are they. Try to understand the worldly forces molding their experience.

Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The Power of Validation: When you listen to someone’s story, you validate their experiences. This acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful and healing for the storyteller, reminding them that their voice matters. Stories remind us of our shared humanity. In a world that can often feel divided, listening to others can bring us closer together and highlight the common threads that unite us all.

Inspiration: Consider when someone’s story has inspired you, changed your perspective, or motivated you. By listening to others, you allow yourself to experience these moments regularly. We all love overcoming that moment when the impossible becomes possible. We need to hear more of these.

This Week’s Final Thought

Listening to others’ stories isn’t just about them—it’s also about you. It’s a reciprocal act where the listener and the storyteller gain something valuable. A person’s emotional state is derived from their previous experiences. We sometimes misunderstand a current situation because we do not know its story. Ask them their story when you sense something greater is going on. This moment could be the moment when another great story begins.

Proverbs 27:19, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

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Getting in the Way of God

Getting in the way of God, what does that mean? This idea is a concept that I struggle with constantly. It started with a passage in Mark.

Mark 8:31–33, “He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Jesus strongly rebukes Peter. What did Peter do to deserve this type of treatment? Peter put his desire and the world’s desires before God’s desire. He thought he had a better plan for saving his Jewish people. The problem was that Peter didn’t understand the right question. It was not saving the Israelites from the Romans but saving all humanity from destruction.

That took me back to the early 2000’s. We had a men’s retreat at my church. A recession was in progress, and some men were looking for jobs. After one man stood before the assembled men and asked for help in his job search, Leo Wells of Wells Real Estate Investment Trust, a relatively wealthy man, said not to get so involved in good works that you get in the way of God’s plans.

At the time, it struck me as a very unChrist-like statement. Should we not always do as much as we can with what we have to help another Christian?

1 John 3:17 ~ “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”

Getting in the Way

1 Corinthians 2:11, “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”

It took time and perspective to understand what Leo was saying. I looked at the crisis in my life for direction. How many times did God use a crisis to get my attention? How often have I walked away from a crisis with a greater appreciation for the experience?

We hate crises, uncertainty, and vulnerability. For me, it was mainly about how it affected others. People depended on me, and I was vulnerable. I didn’t know how long this situation would last, how bad it would get, or how I would keep my commitments.

It is in these moments that we cling to Christ. Many times, it is the crisis that causes us to rest in Christ’s promise never to desert us. A crisis is the ultimate litmus test of our faith. It is not the blessings and good times; it is when we are weakest and most vulnerable.

Had well-meaning Christians interfered with what God was trying to accomplish with me during a crisis, I may not have learned the lesson He had for me. I can’t say I looked at it that way during my dark hours; I wanted help, relief, and certainty. I wanted to get as far from my problem as humanly possible; I didn’t care what that looked like.

How Do We Know

Jeremiah 32:19, “Great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.”

I find that there are times when we experience the downside to wisdom. Ignorance is bliss. God opens our eyes to His wisdom, and our limited human existence freezes. We don’t know how to deal with it. God knows everything, and we know so little about our impact on the future. What is our response when presented with an opportunity to help someone out of a crisis?

There is only one viable response: PRAYER. Every situation is unique. Every path forward has its own story. There are times when we should step in and help. But we must be aware that there are times when we need to trust God a little bit more. There may be a purpose behind the situation that we do not see. The best worldly advice I can give is to see if God is not holding open another door that does not include us. Prayer is the only way you can decern this.

Job 42:2, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

Constantly, others present me with opportunities to help. It seems the opportunities are endless. I have tried to learn not to be impulsive. My kneejerk reaction is to do something. The correct answer is to pray about it. Let God do His thing. I hate to see people in pain, but sometimes, a little pain is precisely what God intends. I think about the long-term consequences of my help. Will it promote independence and growth, or will it foster dependency?

Leo’s Echo

It has been almost a quarter of a century, and that one statement by Leo haunts me. When do I play, and when do I sit on the sidelines? When am I helping with God’s plan for another, and when am I getting in the way? I have gained the wisdom to ask the question but not the wisdom to answer it. That is troubling.

1 John 2:6, “The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.”

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