When Life Turns into a Dumpster Fire

I didn’t sleep last night. It was one of those nights when I couldn’t turn off the thoughts racing around inside my head. Most of them came and went like dried leaves on an autumn breeze. A few, the important ones, wouldn’t leave me alone. They wanted answers, and I wanted to sleep. We compromised; they didn’t get their answers, and I didn’t get my sleep.

The context of the most troubling thoughts were things that meant a lot to me but didn’t go as expected. These weren’t errant drives off of the fourth tee; they were heartaches. They were things I wanted but didn’t get. In one case, it cost me everything. My inner self wanted to know why.

There is this propensity to believe if we live a good life, God will bless us with good things. Not exactly prosperity gospel, but close in a non-material way. A feeling that we should somehow be rewarded for doing what is right in God’s eyes. After all if I take the time and money to serve God’s people wouldn’t God smile on me?

Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Tim Keller said, “The basic premise of religion– that if you live a good life, things will go well for you– is wrong. Jesus was the most morally upright person who ever lived, yet He had a life filled with the experience of poverty, rejection, injustice, and even torture.”

Tim answers the age-old question: Why do bad things happen to good people? Christ, Himself, was subjected to immense trauma just because He wanted to save the world.  We live in a fallen world with dark forces outside of our control. These forces are always trying to defeat us. If we let them, they will.

Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

With all that happened to Job (Job 1-42), God did not feel the need to tell him why (Job 38:1-18). What God does tell Job is that He, God, is in control of everything and that He is all we really need. God will provide. He will heal our hearts and restore our future.

Isaiah 40:28-31, “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

I want a warm and fuzzy answer that will help me sleep, but there isn’t one. We are in the midst of spiritual warfare. Dumpster fires in our life will blaze out of control until we lay down the water hose and call on God. I want to know why. It breaks my heart not to know. But I am at peace with the knowledge that, if I let Him, He will redeem me from the fire and set me on high. Experience has taught me this one very valuable lesson; no matter how disappointing things are in the moment, if it is God’s will, it will be the best in the long term.

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. “

Lawyer vs. Witness

One of the essential reasons to align yourself with God’s plan for your life is that it is a beacon to others.

1 Peter 2:15, “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.”

I once heard it said that God does not need a lawyer. He needs a witness. Our job is not to defend the existence of God, but to serve as an example of His existence. 

The challenge with being His lawyer is that we will need to supply the answers to people who don’t ask the right questions. There then is legality to our existence as if there was a formula. That formula solved all the problems and answered all the questions. The truth is that God hasn’t given us all the answers, and we are not smart enough to ask all the right questions. There is an aspect of God that we cannot fathom. God lives outside the natural laws of our existence. We are not in a position to defend His existence. 

Being a witness is less complicated. All we need to be able to say is: “This is how God worked in my life.” It is a reality that cannot be disputed because we lived it. We own the facts of the situation. Others can hypothesize alternative realities, but they cannot replicate the actual event. Our testimony is, “I was there. I had the experience.” 

2 Timothy 2:15, “Make every effort to present yourself before God as a proven worker who does not need to be ashamed, teaching the message of truth accurately.”

Of course, being a witness brings with it the need to have something about which to witness. To truly have a compelling story to tell, we must rely on God. We can’t serpentine through life using our own will and expect to witness Christ’s redemptive powers. To be a credible witness, we need to submit to God’s will and allow for His direction in our life. Surrendering to the will of God is hard work. It is hard work only because our ego and self-centeredness are strong forces. They push and pull us to act independently. We have this innate arrogance that we don’t need help.

Our testimony starts with the understanding that there will be a temptation, turmoil, and tribulation in our life. Some of it is self-inflicted gunshot wounds, and some of it is outside our control, but none of it is outside of the redemptive power of Christ. Anxiety and stress do not have to be the norm in our lives. We can achieve peace even when circumstances do not change. Acknowledging that God has a plan for our life and that plan is to prosper, not destroy will give us hope. With hope, we can find peace. 

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Pursuing God’s plan for our life is worthwhile as it gives us a life worth living. It also provides the testimony to others that the assurances God gives to us through scripture are real. Our life needs to reflect God’s character so that others might see it. The closer we are to becoming the very thing that God created us to be, the better the testimony we have. We do not have to know what God has in store for us; we need to be continually working toward finding it. With the journey comes the testimony. 

Hebrews 13: 21 “(Now may the God of peace) … equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

In pursuing God’s plan for our life, get up and do something small. Something small might be having coffee with someone who you admire to find out what they know. As we slowly expand your activities, we will start to understand what we like and don’t like. We will gain experience that will further encourage us. The goal is not to go on a mission trip or lead someone to Christ; it is to be more Christ-like. The key is consistency. Every day think about it, pray about it, read about it, and do something.

Hebrews 10:36, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

In time a plan will start to form as we get a clearer picture of where God wants us. The initial idea might be to add a skill or experience. Working that plan will provide more information for the next idea. Each new step will get us closer to the ultimate goal of using your passion for God’s purpose.

The day will come when we realize the tremendous testimony we have to God’s overwhelming grace. We will stand out to others as a faithful witness to God’s character. 

Ephesians 5:15-17, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Living with Purpose

Proverbs 16:1, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.”

The Setup

I write about things with which I struggle. God has blessed me. It is so obvious and blatant that I would be a fool to try to hide it. Along the way I have made terrible decisions. I have run and hid and lied to avoid accountability. I have let my ego and my selfishness direct my steps. All of this to say: I’m human.

Because I live in this diametric world where I am blessed and simultaneously rebellious, God having a plan for me that perpetuates God’s kingdom on earth seems ludicrous. I have strong Christian friends that are so wholly convinced of the assurance of their salvation that they think I am simple-minded. Assurance is: certainty about something or a positive declaration intended to give confidence; a promise. Christ gives us assurance, not a guarantee.

They feel I am complicating the process of sanctification, and they may be right.

Now I am neither seminary-trained, nor do I want to be perceived as having answers, so I want you to know this is a personal concern for me. I read the series of passages below and can’t help but think: I have a role in my sanctification. I cannot save myself, but I can deceive myself into believing I’m saved.

Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast”

James 2:17,” Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Matthew 7:22-23, “On that day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many powerful deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you. Go away from me, you lawbreakers.”

Matthew 22:37-38, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

These verses paint a picture for me that it is through grace I am save by the blood of Christ, but it has to move from head knowledge (consciousness, reasoning, logic, habits, skills, values) to heart knowledge (spirit, surrender, trust, brokenness, character), and the outward display of that transformation will be a change in behavior driven by love.

The Caveat

There are no hidden clauses in the Bible. God is very straight forward. Salvation is too important to play games with. If you have to “interpret” a verse, maybe you are reading too much into it or crafting it to your desires. Here are some examples of “IF” statements that God uses to clarify our sanctification.

Matthew 6:14-15, “Jesus said: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

John 14:15, “Jesus said: “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”

1 Corinthians 15:2, “By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.”

Genesis 4:7, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

Exodus 19:5a, “Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.”

Deuteronomy 6:25, “And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.”

Isaiah 48:18, “If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”

John 15:14, “Jesus said: “You are my friends if you do what I command.”

The Delivery

The struggle I am dealing with is not what I do, but why I do it. God has a plan for me; we know that from scripture. I can accept that and mechanically work through the process. But if I sleepwalk through his purpose, I miss the point.

I am reasonably adept at teaching micro-enterprise development, I know how to write and review business plans, and I can evaluate opportunities. All of this is mechanics. It is head knowledge enhanced with experience. It is not what God wants me to do. It is a tool he wants me to use. What he wants me to do is love the lost.

Loving the lost is different; it’s complicated. Not because I perceive the lost are not worthy of love. It is because I don’t know them, I don’t have a relationship with them. They are strangers. For some people loving others, having compassion for them, and being able to show empathy comes easy. I am not one of them.

God built me to be goal-driven. You set a point on the horizon, and then you drive toward it. All ships rise on the same tide. I believe in pragmatically helping people. I believe in giving them fish until they are strong enough to fish for themselves.

Reread Matthew 22:37-38 above; it defines the point on the horizon we are to drive towards.

The Payoff

Ephesians 1:18, “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.”

God does an amazing thing when I step out in faith: He gives me a new heart. It is incredible. A stranger can approach me, and I sense their need, not their physical need, it’s deeper than that. There is a draw to them. There is a neediness about them that they can’t hide with small talk and witty sarcasm. It makes me want to know them better. It’s an exciting experience. To experience this, I have to have the guts to step out of my shell and speak to them.

Ali Baba used “Khulja simsim” to open the cave of the 40 thieves. God used “Can I help you?” to open the door to my heart. As they talk and I listen, God works on both of us. I find these conversations the most stimulating conversation I ever have. These are wonderful people who are in an unfortunate position not unlike my own.

It’s always about people. 

This post takes you a long way around the block to say: pay attention to the real purpose, not just the tools God puts in your life to achieve the purpose. Don’t deceive yourself and, in doing so, jeopardize your salvation. It’s not about activity.

What is your legacy?

Legacy: a gift or a bequest that is handed down, endowed, or conveyed from one person to another. There is a grander scope of legacy that entails all of the things you have done, or not done, to improve the world in which you live. I think of that as the Billy Graham effect. The Martin Luther’s of the world dramatically redefine the way we look at salvation. The Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s who change the way we look at each other. These are bigger than life Christian warriors who left an indelible mark on all of humankind.

Proverbs 13:22: “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

The legacy I was thinking about today was more ordinary and every day. It is the legacy we leave behind with our family and friends. Throughout life, there are great opportunities to speak truth to those we love. We do it instinctively with our children if we have them. We sometimes get a chance for a late-night chat with siblings. Maybe we get serious with a close friend over coffee. The opportunity to leave a lasting impression doesn’t come often. Many times, we are not prepared; we may not even see the moment for what it is. But it is there, and it will echo through time. That impression, good or bad, will be remembered and passed on. I can’t count the number of times I have referenced my dad in a conversation. His wisdom is worth passing on.

2 Timothy 2:2, “And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”

The concern that is rattling around in my brain today is the invisible legacy that casts a shadow over everything I do. Finding and living the will of God in my life is important to me because I genuinely feel it is why God created me. That should be reason enough. Today I realized there was another reason, just as important. When my friends, family, children and grandchildren see the impact that this has on my life, it influences their life. As I ramble on about passion and joy and fulfillment, they can’t help but be changed.

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Chasing my passion, pursuing the man that God intended me to be, is paramount to leaving a lasting positive legacy for those who come in contact with me. It is one of the tools that God uses to influence others to do the same. My commitment to follow Jesus in all that I do is the marker on the trail of other people’s journeys. It is not just what I say; it is what I do; it is who I am.

I have an obligation to find that man that God intended for me because it influences the future. It starts a domino effect that creates value long after I am gone. Living on the center-line of God’s plan for me not only enriches my life, but it also enriches the lives of all who see it. It is the beacon on the hill, the light in the darkness. It gives others who see the fruit of my labor hope.

Last year I was on the Volunteer Committee for the Super Bowl here in Atlanta. We triaged 18,000 applicants into a mighty force of 10,000 volunteers aimed at making a lasting positive impression on the almost one million visitors while they were in Atlanta. One of the unexpected experiences I had over the 10-day Super Bowl event was six in-depth conversations with volunteers, whom I had never met, concerning living their lives with purpose. At that time, the same as now, I was trying to “see” God’s plan for me as I moved into another season in my life. I chased God’s plan for me with Joy and anticipation, thoroughly looking forward to the future. They saw it and wanted the same thing for their lives.

For various reasons, they were struggling with where life had taken them. They were not so much dissatisfied as they were unsatisfied. Life was not bad; it just wasn’t as good as they thought it could be. They lamented the disappearance of unifying experiences in our fragmented society. There was no commonality of values. We talked about how employment and careers have changed over the last few decades; the discussion came around to how to face the future. I confessed that my faith was my anchor. God explicitly created us to achieve a great purpose for Christ. That was it. Line up your life with the very reason for your existence, and joy will follow.

Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

In full disclosure, I did tell them that I thought this was a lifelong endeavor. I said it was more of a journey than a destination. But it was a path worth following. As a result, lives changed. These people saw an alternative to what they initially perceived. After one conversation, people don’t become disciples, but maybe they become seekers, and that is a start.

We should follow Christ not just for our benefit but for the benefit of those who see us. It is a lasting legacy planted in others that will perpetuate God’s kingdom on earth.

Philippians 4:8-13, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. “

I need you to find me

1 Peter 1:8-9 “You have not seen him, but you love him. You do not see him now, but you believe in him, and so you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy because you are attaining the goal of your faith—the salvation of your souls.”

Things come to me from odd places. I was watching the movie “Find Me.”, I gravitated to it because it was about hiking. It’s a love story, I’m a guy I know, don’t judge me. I won’t ruin the storyline, but a statement struck me, “I need you to find me.” It was like a lost little voice from within. It had a hint of desperation. It was the voice of the man that God wanted me to be. It was a plea. It was lost and wanted to be found.

I never really thought that the life I was looking for was waiting to be found. The visual of this is hard for me to describe. I see a great love lost in a dark forest of discouragement. The trees of disappointment and lost dreams are blocking out the sun. This great love forages for food and stays warm at night by the campfire while I bask in the sun. God made me this man of great passion and achievement, and I have sequestered him in the recesses of my mind.

See, the problem is that he is not practical. He has great plans and great enthusiasm for things he cannot be. He doesn’t worry about the bills or going to work. He cares little for the aggravation of traffic or the passing of time. He speaks of adventure. He speaks of usefulness without compensation. He wants me to believe that I can exist in a world of joy and fulfillment, and God will provide.

He is real. He is in my mind, pushed down by life.

Proverbs 10:28 “The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.”

The reality is the picture is painted backward. It is I who live in the forest of discouragement. The man that God wants me to be lives in a world of light. The trees of my forest are bills and jobs and traffic. I have come to believe that being the person God wants me to be is the struggle and living life, is natural and more uncomplicated. This view of life is not valid. Each has its struggles, but only one has eternal rewards. God admonishes us in Luke 11:35, “Then watch out that the light in you is not darkness.”

1 John 1:5-6 “Now this is the gospel message we have heard from him and announce to you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in the darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth.”

As I struggle to find my way, it is encouraging to know that I am not alone. Through the Holy Spirit embedded in me, I have a guide. I do not have to pull the real me out of darkness; I need to walk toward the light.

When lost in the darkness of the world, always walk east toward the horizon and sunrise will come.

Ephesians 5:8-9 “for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth).”

The Need to Love and be Loved

1 Corinthians 13 is one of the greatest chapters ever written in the Bible. If you don’t know it, print it and put it on your bathroom mirror. Make it part of the fabric of your life.

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This chapter sums up the struggle of all of human existence; the need to love and be loved. If I looked deeply into the cause of almost all of my human frailty, the core would be either not loving enough or the feeling of not being loved enough. Our ego, our self-esteem, our insecurities, our self-image are all rooted in this one concept. How healthy is our perception of being loved?

John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I want a love so great that I would die for it. I want it to envelop me, protect me, fulfill me, be the very air that I breathe. I want it to be all-consuming and overwhelming. I want it to be grand and incredible and scary. I want it to stop my brain and hold me in awe. I want this kind of love. I want it because that is who God made us be.

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

It’s crazy, a simple statement, seven words, and I stop. I want to love others as God loved me. But, people are not kind or understanding. They think, say, and do weird things. They don’t love me the way I want to be loved. And yet this is who I am to God, and He still loves me.

Romans 8:38-39 “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Knowing this full well, why do I struggle? Why is the concept of loving others and being loved so precarious? Why is it so hard?

Because we live in a fallen world, we live in an environment that never will be perfect. So many people do not know Christ and do not know the real source of love. We interact with these people every day; they twist and corrupt God’s concept of love. We are immersed in a media bombardment of the world’s view of love. It is no wonder we get confused. It is no wonder that most of the world feels unfulfilled.

I am genuinely loved. I mean that. I have friends that love me, a family that loves me, and a God that thinks I hung the moon. But I sometimes struggle with this. I sometimes feel alone, isolated,  and unloved. It’s part of being human. The way out for me is not to fixate on the love I am receiving, but increasing the love I give away. Even when I feel unloved, there is joy in loving. In loving others, I start to feel loved myself.

2 Thessalonians 3:5, “May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”

If you want a better story, give the pen to a better author.

Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

I was thinking about the New Year. What was the message I wanted to give myself about how to proceed? Man, I thought of the processes I’ve used in the past to both identify areas of improvement and to correct them. I questioned what needed improvement versus what would be nice to improve. What had kingdom impact and what had earthly impact? We all have limited resources. The most precious resource God has given us is time. Waste time and you can never get it back. Time isn’t the only resource you need if you are going to implement lasting change. It may not even be the critical path. How do I focus my effort in 2020?

Paul Bickford, the Youth Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, GA, started his sermon with this scripture:

Psalms 139:13-16,

Certainly, you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother’s womb.

I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. You knew me thoroughly;

my bones were not hidden from you, when I was made in secret and sewed together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. All the days ordained for me were recorded in your scroll before one of them came into existence.”

This scripture refocused my thinking. Instead of trying to “fix” me, maybe I should just try to be who God made me? I’ve always, mostly, attempted to focus on who God made me, but somehow it still got back to what I could or should do to get there. I focus so much on my faults and short-comings, that I lose track of the goal. The goal never was to be perfect. I shouldn’t focus my energy on being flawless, which leads to stress and discontentment.  I believe it is one of the primary reasons people do not keep their New Years’ resolutions. When you focus on one flaw, you start seeing all of them, it becomes disheartening.

Reread the scripture above. “Certainly, you made my mind and heart;” God made me intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Every detail of who I am he specifically created. “You knew me thoroughly;” Knowing me is more than seeing me or touching me. It is intimate knowledge of my hopes, and fears, and dreams. He knows why I yearn for something even when I don’t know. He knows why I have a passion for certain things and have no interest in others. My perceive flaws are not things that are wrong with me, but a focus on the wrong issues.

Let me see if I can give you an example from my life. As I age, staying in any reasonable physical shape becomes incredibly elusive. Every day that I live, my physiological capacity decreases. It is a slight decrease on a daily or weekly basis, but it is there. Taking a couple of weeks off will mean several weeks of catching up. It is endless and exhausting. Why do I do it? I don’t have a fixation of conditioning. I do have an obsession for living my purpose. I need to be in the physical shape required to live on purpose. If I exercised out of vanity, I’d quit. That train has left the station. The body will fade, but the Kingdom’s impact lasts for eternity. As long as I get up in the morning, God has a purpose for me to accomplish. As long as God finds me useful, I need to be prepared to respond.

Psalm 39:4-5, “LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. “Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath.”

As you think about things you want to change about yourself in 2020, think about why. Are you trying to improve a perceived flaw, or does it have an actual Kingdom impact? A good friend, Patti Gordon of Deepwater Women, has a tag line on her email that says, “Chase what matters.” Are you going to spend 2020 working what matters, or are you going to waste another year shoring up the facade of a crumbling building?

Isaiah 51:6, “Lift up your eyes to the sky, Then look to the earth beneath; For the sky will vanish like smoke, And the earth will wear out like a garment And its inhabitants will die in like manner; But My salvation will be forever, And My righteousness will not wane.”

What if I Don’t like the Destination?

Isaiah 43:19 “Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

I love the outdoors. I hike as often as I can, which is normally a couple times a week. So, I love the visual of Isaiah. “I’m about to do something new” …. “Even now it is coming” …. “Do you see it?” … “Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness” …. It seems colossal, grand, breathtaking.   It is like hearing the rush of a great waterfall just up the trail. The winding path and the canopy of the trees hiding it from view, but the ever increasing crescendo of the falling water unmistakable.   My steps quicken with anticipation. I can’t wait to get a glimpse of one of God’s creations. That is how I should feel about the fulfillment of God’s plan for me. Breathless anticipation.

Second only to the fear of what God may ask me to do, is the fear of where He might ask me to go.  Ezekiel 1:12 says “And each went straight forward; wherever the spirit was about to go, they would go, without turning as they went.” This is a direct imperative to move forward without questioning. To go…straight… without turning. That’s intimidating. And it brings about a couple concerns.

What if I don’t like the destination

The Lord says in Psalm 32:8 “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” There is this element of trust that we must overcome if we are to ever have a fulfilling life through Christ.  God doesn’t say He will guide us along a path, but along the best path. And furthermore, once we start down that path, He will watch over us. This all begins with trusting that He is telling us the truth.

A weird story about destinations. I would guess for most of my adult Christian life people fretted about God sending them to Africa. This was kind of the epitome of going where you didn’t want to go. It was as if Africa was the place that God sends hard core, give your life to Christ, missionaries. Surrender everything, live in a grass hut and dine with the natives, kind of evangelism. Not for the weak at heart, or spirit. None of my upper middle-class folks wanted to go there. Fast forward to this year.

It was not my plan to go to Africa. Even when I agreed to start working with IMED (International Micro-Enterprise Development) I really didn’t think about the destination. But guess what…. This year alone I have gone to Africa three times and I already have a plane ticket for a fourth. But it was never about the destination. It was always about using my God given talents to serve His kingdom. I just ended up in Africa.

I would suggest that we should spend more time on what He wants and let the where take care of itself. If we have passion for the what, we won’t care about the where.

Worse, what if I’m not sure of the destination

In Psalms 73 David says “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny”. Yes, a glorious destiny. Not some off-the-beaten-track swamp land destination, but a glorious one. As the saying goes “if you don’t know where you are going, any path will take you there.”

Once I come to grips with the idea that what God wants for me is better than anything I could want for myself, I am left with finding out what He really wants of me. That can be hard. I gravitate to what I want for me because I understand that. We live in a land of opportunity. Virtually every day I hear of a new opportunity to serve God in a special way.  The needs are overwhelming. Add to that the sheer joy experienced by the people serving and everything seems attractive. Everything seems critical and needed. How do I figure out which is best for me?

Again, I have to say there is no single answer to figuring that out. There were several years between when I first heard of IMED and when I actually looked into it. Roswell Day of Hope (RDH) was much the opposite.  We were looking for some activity to put our effort behind and RDH just came together. It was a struggle, but pieces kept falling in place. It seemed predestine to happen. The prison ministry was a road I would not have traveled except to help a friend.

I keep going back to this because I think it is critical to understand “Each current season using the last season to build toward the next season.”. God does not waste time or effort. Everything we experience, if we are willing, God will use to move us closer to His ultimate purpose for us here on earth. The destination you see in front of you might just be the next mile maker on your journey to our ultimate destination.

For my money I would concentrate on the what and not the where. If I am in the sweet spot of my passion, where I serve doesn’t matter that much.

Psalm 48:14

“For That Is What God Is Like. He Is Our God Forever And Ever, And He Will Guide Us Until We Die.”

What if I’m not Equipped for God’s Plan for Me

James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves”

Timothy says in 2 Timothy 3:17 “That the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” We have mentioned “Each current season using the last season to build toward the next season.” a couple of times. God will equip us for what He has in store for us. It may be through our own efforts, or the efforts of those He sends with us. But we will be equipped.

In some aspects this is easy. God has ingrained in us a natural passion for the work he has planned for us. But if you are like me, there is an army of voices in my head. Each one is trying to make a point. How do I ferret out the one true voice I should be listening to? There are as many answers to this as there are people on the earth. In my case there are a number of “checks” I need to make to validate my decision.

Part of our equipping might be going. We sometimes need experience to understand the lesson. We step out in faith in order to experience God’s presence. Through that experience, we gain understanding. The more we trust God, the easier it is to do again. I think back to the start of my experience with Champions for Life. I certainly did not feel equipped to share the gospel. And I certainly didn’t feel equipped to talk with inmates. But the more I went, the easier it became. The “going” was part of the “equipping”. Champions for Life prepared me for the next season.

The first Is “Is what I am thinking I need to do, consistence with scripture? “ This is the foundation of all Christian reasoning. But it can be deceptive. My “want” can be to do good, but it may not be consistent with God’s plan for my life. For example: I see someone else bringing a lot of souls to Christ and I want to feel the same joy as them. But their path is not necessarily my path. Scriptural consistency is the foundation, but not the whole answer.  We can try to accomplish many things that are consistent with God’s plans for humanity, but not necessarily within our wheelhouse. We can do it, but not achieve the true joy that accompanies doing God’s will for our life.

The second question I ask myself is “Do the Christians who know me the best think that the plans I am pursuing make sense for me”? Again, this alone is not a good indicator. People with very good hearts will validate my ideas in an effort to motivate me into action. So, it is important to me to question their answers. God will speak through them. But He will not tell them something He hasn’t already told me.

I love this word picture from Isaiah 30:21 “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  And your ears will hear a word behind you… It is like God is standing behind you listening to the advice you are being given and instructing you in what is good and right. The “word behind you” can be a remembrance of scripture as in Romans 10:17 “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” Or it can be a thought or actual voice (John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”) God does not have a tendency to ambush us. There is no bait and switch. There is no misdirection. If He wants something from us, He just tells us. If we don’t listen, He will tell us again through other means.

Godly council from trusted friends is one of God’s best tools, use it wisely.

The third important question I ask myself is “Is it a natural extension of who God has made me to be?” Is it a one off? The prison ministry was somewhat of a one off, except I was fully committed to doing it. I was committed, not to going into prisons, but in supporting a friend. I had done this in the past and it was a natural extension to our relationship. God used that relationship to get me the experience He knew I needed. Almost everything God has put in front of me has been an extension of who I already was, with a little stretch into something I wasn’t…. yet… If my focus had been sharing the gospel with inmates it would have been a resounding NO. But the focus was on being a good friend, and to that end I was committed.

If these three questions create a consistent answer, then I step out in faith. There may be further refining along the way, but at this point I need to be obedient. There will always be forks in the road. Each fork will require the same process to proceed.

I love what it says in Hebrews 13:20-21 “Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. “. The God of Peace will equip me with everything good that I might do His will. What more can I ask for?

What you can be, you must be

Maslow concluded: “What you can be, you must be.”

Maslow stumbled on one of the most elegant, simple and complete descriptions of God’s plan for our lives. This seven-word statement tells us all we need to know of both the uniqueness of our person and the uniqueness of our purpose. It simply tells us that we must be who God made us to be. As simple as that.

In Jeremiah 1:5 God said “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Furthermore we learn from Psalms 139:15-16 “My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

I read the last part again “the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” So God knew my every step before I came into existence. But what about my free will to choose? If my every step in known why is finding my purpose so hard? I should just be able to get up in the morning and automatically do what God had planned for me to do… makes sense right…. But my experience tells me it ain’t so.

The word I am looking for is “antinomy”. Definition: Greek antinomía a contradiction between laws. Both being simultaneously true. Somehow God has this plan laid out for me, but I still have to choose to take part in it. I have an image in my head of how this might work. The problem with my image is that it is based on my limited knowledge and therefore is inaccurate almost by definition. Great help huh….

We take a Rabbit trail for a bit

Boetheus had a view of how free will/fore-ordination works such that since God is outside of time, he can look at all of history at once — and thus knows every decision beforehand. Kind of a chicken or egg sort of thing. The real answer is: I don’t know how it works, but I know somehow it does. I know this from scripture and from my own experience. There are tons of references to God’s plan for us, that’s the biblical part. My experience is that that there is real evil in the world and that evil is from free will, not fore-ordination. God would not create us for evil, we have to choose it. From a Biblical sense I think of evil as the absence of doing good. Choosing not to choose is not a “no decision”, it is a decision to do nothing.

In Isaiah 45:7 (KJV) it says “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.” The word evil used here is from the Hebrew word RAH which means affliction, trouble, calamity, grievous, or misery. The bigger context of this verse is that it refers to natural disasters (verses 5-7). A more accurate translation is “The One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these,”

Sorry I wanted to make sure we didn’t confuse this discussion with a discussion of free will and evil. That is a different subject for another time.

Back to the Main trail

So, if you look at verses like Jeremiah and Psalms and think you can just sit back and it will all work out, I don’t think you will like the outcome.  Max Lucado in “Ten Men of the Bible” said “Behind every avalanche is a snowflake, behind every rock slide is a pebble”. God’s plan is the avalanche and the rock slide. Our decisions are the snowflakes and the pebbles.  

Finding the purpose that God created us for is more than a good idea. It is the essence of why we are here. Finding it and living in it, completes us. It makes us whole as human beings and it makes us whole with the relationship we have with our creator.

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”