What Seventy-Five Years Taught Me About the Moments That Matter

Moment that mattersIn my more than seventy-five years, I find it interesting that I spent fifty years doing what I love, for the most part, yet I remember data points but not the effort it took to achieve them. I have spent over thirteen thousand days perfecting my craft, and I recall facts, but most of the emotion has been lost to time. Yet a chance meeting with a stranger decades ago remains vivid in my mind. His need outweighed my inconvenience. The emotion of that encounter is real, as if it happened yesterday. I can still see his eyes. The pain in them was deeper than anything I had experienced. Later in life, I, too, would have his eyes. I, too, would know what it is like to feel emotional pain that defies words.

The things that took up most of my time and attention seem insignificant compared with those that touch my heart.

Luxuries of Growing Older

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” – Lao-Tzu

One of the luxuries of growing older is the time to look back. As we live our lives, we seldom have time to view things in the context of our entire lives. We make decisions based on immediate needs. If we are mature enough, we even set something aside for the future, without knowing what it will bring. When you have lived three-quarters of a century, that changes.

1 Corinthians 16:13: “Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”

I can look back on my life and see both light and darkness. I can see how decisions played out. I now know when an act of kindness was truly kind and when it only postponed the pain. I see great jobs that turned bad and bad jobs that turned out well. The same is true for people, separating true friends from lifelong acquaintances.

All of this is to say that the moments of your life pass quickly and unnoticed until one day you count them. The things that occupied most of your time and attention seem insignificant compared with those that touch your heart. All the decisions you make about survival don’t compare with those laced with compassion. In the moment, the survival decisions seem most important, but in the end, they weren’t.

Fortunate to Live a Long Life

2 Corinthians 4:16: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

If you are fortunate enough to live to my age, your mind does not revisit days spent at work, mowing the yard, or doing the laundry. It finds those exceptional moments. The ones that changed your life or someone else’s are the ones you treasure. You do not have to be a good person to do good. Everyone has that potential. God created it in us; we need to activate it.

Galatians 5:13: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

I want everyone reading this to fill their lives with exceptional moments that will remind them they are alive when old age creeps up. God has made us exceptional; we should live lives that reflect His effort. When the day comes that you have more days behind you than ahead of you, it will comfort you to know you mattered to someone. Maybe it was a moment, maybe a lifetime, but you mattered.

Epilogue

It is not the material things you gave them; it is your time, wisdom, and heart that changed the world around them.

Live well in the moments. Let the sound of your life echo through eternity.

Isaiah 46:4: “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he; I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.”

I Sometimes Feel Invisible. Silence Verse Apathy

Invisible, the opposite of Love is ApathyI sometimes feel invisible. By nature, I’m a worker bee. I prefer to stay in the background. When the spotlight is on me, I’m uncomfortable. I find it hard to accept a compliment. To me, it’s not about humility; it’s about being truthful. It’s not about lacking self-confidence; it’s about being realistic. I am who I am: nothing extraordinary. I can do what God created me to do.

Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Life

So for a guy who likes to live in the shadows, why is invisibility a problem? I struggle with that question. I don’t want fame or recognition for greatness. A couple of decades ago, I changed my life significantly. Up to that point, my life was about me. Not in a selfish way, but in a determined one. I wanted to be the best version of me I could be. I would outwork anyone to achieve that goal. It wasn’t about money, position, or fame; it was about self-respect.

Philippians 2:4: “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Then one day, God said, “Stop.” He wanted me to realize that life was never about me. It has always been about the people God puts in my path. I was to use all the resources God gave me — intelligence, relationships, experiences, and knowledge — to help others. That lifted an immense weight off my shoulders. I was no longer responsible for results, only for obedience. It was freeing beyond words.

Living in the Shadows

I stepped into the background and have lived there ever since. I like it here. I can do my thing unnoticed. I can create my own version of self-actualization by living vicariously through others’ achievements. The greatest joy of my life is watching others bloom. Every day, I have the joy and privilege of watching people younger than me begin the journey toward becoming the person God always intended them to be. Some of these people are in their twenties.

I think this is the turning point for me. At the same time, I get to see young people experimenting with life, the excitement of discovery, and the joy of becoming. On the other hand, I know they must learn from disappointment and loss.

1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.”

In the middle of this, I get lost. I fade so far into the background that even the shadows forget I’m there. Most of my life, this is OK, even preferred. But not always.

Apathy verse Silence

I don’t know how to present this without sounding at some level arrogant or egotistical. It is not that at all. I have lived an incredible life, with all its ups and downs, knowing how difficult it is to juggle family, work, and community. I understand why I am not the center of anyone’s universe. We are all planets, part of our own solar systems, spinning through one of many galaxies. Life is complex.

1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

My downward spiral begins when I forget that silence is not apathy. Many people trying to survive in the chaos of everyday life are silent, not because they don’t care, but because they are distracted. There is a lot to do when becoming something. Figuring out who you should be and how to achieve that goal is time-consuming. Background noise is drowned out by the cacophony of sounds coming from the moment.

Being Seen Again

We all go through moments of feeling lost. It is part of the rhythm of life. As you grow older, you experience this more often. What these people are accomplishing in their lives is something I envy. It took me forty years to learn what they already know. I want to be part of their orbit. When I am not, I feel invisible.

That is, until we meet face-to-face. Then we see each other for who we are and rejoice in that knowledge. The cloak of invisibility falls away, and I am me again. We talk about lives lived, victories won, and the scars left by learning.

Silence is seldom apathy. Sometimes it’s just life being life.

Proverbs 12:25: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

God’s Interaction and Prodding

God's Interaction and ProddingThis morning, I found myself thinking about how God interacts with me through the Holy Spirit, prodding me toward a life worth living. My mind slowly turned to why He puts certain people in my life—often people with problems.

People

I like problem-solving, but I am a sticks-and-bricks kind of guy, not a colors-and-hues kind of guy. Give me something tangible, something I can take apart, analyze, repair, or rebuild, and I am comfortable. People are different. The opportunities God presents are not always the people or problems I understand or feel equipped to handle. Sometimes, to be truthful, I would prefer not to deal with them at all.

Matthew 25:35–36, “For I was hungry, and you gave me food; I was thirsty, and you gave me drink; I was a stranger, and you welcomed me; I was naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me.”

Some problems I just don’t get, they seem petty and small. Some people I don’t understand because their problem never changes; they just can’t seem to act. Most are self-inflicted gunshot wounds. Some situations are so painful I wish I didn’t know. But God sends them my way.

Proverbs 3:27, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”

Opportunities

I know I do not possess a vast reservoir of knowledge or a special talent for helping people. I’m more of a worker bee. I know how to show up, work, solve what I can solve, and keep going. But I have also learned that God does not put people in my life so I can show off what I know. He puts them there so He can show me what He can do. That works well for me because I’m not on stage; he is.

1 John 3:17, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”

The reality is that God places people in our lives as part of His plan for us. Through them, He shows us how He works. God provides us with answers to questions we have not yet asked. Through them, we witness amazing mini-miracles that remind us of what He is doing through and in us. By serving others, we get to go backstage to see how He performs.

Hebrews 6:10, “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them”

Solutions

God uses these moments to help us see how and when He works. When we are in the depths of our problems, it is hard to be objective, to step outside ourselves and survey the landscape before acting. We find it hard to imagine a solution bigger than our wants.  But God does.

Matthew 25:40, “And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”

In my life, God uses me to help others and to teach me how He helps me. The scripture that feeds their soul feeds mine. The intersection of their experience with mine is not just me being part of God’s plan for them; it is them being part of His plan for me. I’m not there to be a lifesaver or a lifeboat. I am on the sinking ship with them, watching God save us both.

Philippians 2:4, “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

 In helping others, we help ourselves. It gives me more objectivity than I would exercise if the problem were mine. He helps me see the times He intervened in my life. God may also show me when I could have leaned on Him and didn’t.

Hebrews 13:16, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

Benefits

When you see someone in need, see it as part of God’s plan for your life. There is a lesson to be learned and an experience to be had that will help both them and you. Helping others is not about being a good guy. It is not about the glory of advancing God’s plan for someone else. It is about becoming the person God knows you can be. It is part of the learning curve on the path to a life worth living.

James 2:14-17, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

When Good Things Become Distractions

When Good Things Become a DistractionNot every distraction is bad. Some of the most dangerous distractions are worthwhile things that slowly consume the attention meant for something else. We do not have to be doing something wrong to find ourselves neglecting what God has called us to do. Sometimes we are simply doing too much of something good.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Good Things can Compete with One Another.

Family, work, ministry, helping others, church, writing—all worthwhile. But none automatically deserves unlimited time just because it is good. The challenge is deciding how much time to give each activity. The old 20/80 rule is a good guideline. The first 20% of your effort produces 80% of the results. The last 80% of your effort produces the final 20% of the results.

So the question might be: which tasks deserve the final eighty percent, and which don’t? Are there other people who can fine-tune some things while you put your effort into the things God created you for? Does having control supersede accomplishing God’s will?

Luke 10:41–42, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Perfection is an Especially Effective Distraction.

The things God truly puts on your heart require a different strategy. There comes a point when improving something yields diminishing returns. We can expend enormous effort to make something 2% better while leaving something else completely undone. The drive for perfection can reduce the likelihood of real change by causing us to miss the window of opportunity.

A need exists; you want to fill that need, but your desire to execute perfection causes time to escape, and the need goes unfulfilled. Or the need is met too late to be truly helpful.

This reminds me of a story from Kyrgyzstan. A young Christian in a Muslim village saw children playing soccer (football) in an open dirt field. He went to them, helped organize teams, and set up a small village league. While refereeing the games, he would ask the children if they needed anything. Then, during the week, he would get whatever they needed and give it to them the next weekend. This man knew their parents would never ask a Christian for help, but the children were different. It wasn’t long before he and his religion were accepted by the villagers.

Now, in America, we would first have to form a committee to make sure it was the best course of action. We would need rules and, of course, T-shirts. Maybe we would need donations for uniforms and refreshments. Then we would talk with the kids.

Perfection can get in the way of God’s work. God will perfect the outcome; we don’t have to worry about it.

Purpose Requires Periodically Looking up.

Ask: What have I stopped doing because something else has captured all my attention? That is the central question. Do I respond to opportunities by asking God if this is mine to carry, or do I let the world answer that question for me?

Do I ask God what my priorities should be, or do I allow my sense of accomplishment to overshadow what God is trying to do through me?

John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Conclusion

Maybe the question is not simply, “Am I doing something worthwhile?” Perhaps we also need to ask, “Is this what I should be doing right now?” There are countless good things we can do with our lives. Wisdom is knowing which good thing deserves our attention today.

Those that Truly Lead, Inspire, Passing the Test of Life

Leadership Passing the testThere are leaders, and there are those who lead. Leaders may hold positions of power; those who truly lead inspire.

There is no louder voice in your life than your character’s voice. It is the steady drumbeat that reveals the consistency of your actions over time. I have watched people of character make incredible, self-sacrificing decisions without a word. They simply did what was right because it was right—nothing more. It cost them dearly, but not nearly as much as it would have to live any other way.

Luke 8:17, “For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”

As we strive to become the person God created us to be, we will face hard choices. Those choices reveal our character. Character emerges when doing what is right comes at a cost.

Testing

To temper steel, it must first endure intense heat. The process makes the steel tougher by reducing its hardness. Life can do the same to us. We are tested in the heat of adversity, not simply to make us harder, but to make us tougher without becoming hardened. We learn to reflect hope by letting go of bitterness and to practice humility by turning away from self-centeredness.

1 Corinthians 3:13, “each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.”

I’m reminded of a story in John chapter nine. Jesus encounters a man who had been blind from birth. His disciples immediately want to know who was responsible. Was it the man’s fault or his parents’? Jesus shifts their focus from blame. He tells them that through this man’s blindness, the works of God would be displayed.

John 9:1-4, “As He (Jesus) passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked Him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

As much as I would prefer it were different, I have learned to see tests as opportunities to show others what my faith truly means. When I am in a dark place, I need most to let the light of Christ radiate through me. Darkness does not hide the light; it makes the light easier to see. These moments can become opportunities God uses to spread the Gospel through the way we live.

People within our Sphere of Influence

The people in our sphere of influence are watching how we live, and from what they see, they draw conclusions about our character. It is easy to project a positive image when everything is going right and all is well in the world. The real test comes when things are not so good. Do we still trust in Christ? Do we still project hope and reassurance when everyone around us knows our life sucks?

Ephesians 5:13, “But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.”

Very few people live in hopes of being tested. Most are like me: try me if you must, but please make it multiple-choice or fill-in-the-blank. I dread the big tests—losing someone I love, cancer, financial hardship, or losing a job. I know those tests will require supernatural strength I do not possess on my own.

But strangely enough, it is often the pop quizzes that catch me unprepared—you know, deception, anger, jealousy, impatience, pride. Too often, I fail them because I did not prepare. When the big test comes, I cram; I pray, read Scripture, and seek Christian counsel. Yet the pop quizzes arrive without warning and too often find me lacking. The Bible might describe it as a lamp without enough oil.

It is natural to turn inward during times of trouble. But we must remember that there are people within our sphere of influence watching what we do next. Some may never read the Bible, attend a church, or listen to a sermon, but they will watch us. What they see in us may shape what they believe about the God we claim to follow.

Created for Moments Like This

God has created you for moments like these. The God who spoke the universe into existence knows you, loves you, and has not abandoned you in the midst of the test. His testing is not merely intended to expose your weakness. It can become an opportunity to display His strength through you.

Paul understood this. Near the end of his letter to the Colossians, written while he was imprisoned, Paul does something remarkable. He does not primarily ask them to pray that the prison doors will open so he can escape. He asks them to pray that God will open a door for the message. His concern is not simply, How do I get out of this? His concern is, How can God use me while I am here?

Colossians 4:3-6, “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

That is leadership.

Conclusion

Be the one who leads—not simply because you have authority, a position, or a title, but because the way you live gives others the courage to keep going. Let your character speak before your words. Let your faith be most visible when it is most severely tested.

And when darkness comes, let your light shine brightest.

1 Peter 1:7, “so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

Whose Side Are You On?

Whose side are you on?,Whose side are you on? I forgot the importance of that question.

Today, as on many days, I struggle to make sense of my sin. I have a good life. I want for nothing essential. God has blessed me beyond my expectations. I am not rich by worldly standards, but I am rich enough. And yet I struggle much the way Paul did.

The Challenge

I have returned from a very trying trip to Honduras. The people are great, the food is great, and we are making very good progress, but it hasn’t gone smoothly. It took way too long to be granted entry to our quarters because the on-duty guard exercised his authority. The cars behind us in line were honking in dismay. He did not have to, but he could; he was the gatekeeper. The flight back was delayed and had several gate changes, pushing my arrival to 3 a.m. the next day. I didn’t react well to either of these situations. On a good day, travel is challenging; I’m experienced enough to know this.

One of the people accompanying me had a health issue, so I had to teach and write business plans. My schedule became highly flexible. None of this was outside God’s plan, but it was outside mine. It reminded me of a passage in Joshua.

Joshua 5:13-14, “Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for our enemies or for us?’ “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?’”

The Reality

“There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.” – C. S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

Joshua asked whether the angel was on his side or his enemy’s, and the Angel answered, “Neither.” I am reminded that God’s plan is always right and good, regardless of how it aligns with mine. Delays and changes do not affect God’s outcome. My stress and anxiety are mine, not His. God does not take sides. There is only one side, His.

Isaiah 45:19, “I, the Lord, speak the truth; I declare what is right.”

Sometimes my will overrides my common sense. God’s plan will always prevail. I am part of His plan, not the other way around. I was not in Honduras because I had a plan for the Honduran people I was an invited guest in God’s plan for them. It wasn’t my schedule that mattered; it was His. I will not see the outcome until this side of heaven.

I recall hearing this story once about Abraham Lincoln. It is said that a group of ministers approached Lincoln and prayed that God would be with him during his presidency. Lincoln did not want God to endorse his plan, but he wanted to follow God’s plan.

Abraham Lincoln’s reply was:
“It is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord’s side.” – Francis B. Carpenter’s Six Months at the White House with Abraham Lincoln, first published in 1866.

He didn’t want to proceed, thinking God was doing his bidding, but he was actually doing God’s. That is an important message we all need to hear. If you are in the middle of God’s plan for your life, no delay, inconvenience, or rescheduling is a surprise to God. It is all part of the plan.

Job 8:3, “Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right?”

The Conclusion

It is easy to get caught up in our plans. Plan your work, work your plan. We get the illusion of being in control. God must break that illusion to bring us back to Him.

Obedience is our only responsibility, not the process or the results. We are to make ourselves available to God and use what He has given us. He will do what we can’t. I forget this at times, which leads to stress and anxiety. Neither is part of God’s plan for me.

Psalm 111:7, “The works of His hands are truth and justice; All His precepts are sure.”

Heroes vs. Survivors

Heroes vs SurvivorsHeroes vs. survivors. We don’t grow up wanting to be just survivors. I think most of us grow up wanting to be heroes because heroes are simple.

HEROES

Heroes leap over tall buildings. They rescue people from burning buildings. They charge into battle as swelling music plays behind them. Their victories are clear and decisive. The credits roll, and everyone knows who saved the day.

Real life rarely works that way.

Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Real life is getting up when you don’t want to. It is going to work after receiving bad news. Real life is burying someone you love and still finding the strength to comfort others at the funeral. It is waking the next morning after a failure and paying the bills anyway. Real life is forgiving someone who never apologized. It is choosing not to become cruel even though life has given you every excuse. Real life is learning to trust again. It is carrying grief without letting it poison your ability to love.

Real life is survival with your emotions intact.

SURVIVAL

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

That may be one of the hardest things a person can do. Survival, by itself, isn’t rare. Human beings are remarkably resilient. We can become numb, shut down, and harden ourselves until nothing gets in or out.

But surviving with your humanity intact is different. That is the difference between merely enduring and truly surviving.

Surviving is enduring suffering while remaining compassionate. It is knowing betrayal and still trusting. It means facing bitterness and still choosing hope. Survivors experience injustice and still believe in people’s worth.

That isn’t flashy. No action figures are made for that. No child dresses up for Halloween as “The Person Who Kept Showing Up Despite Their Grief.”

SCARS

Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

And yet, those are the people who quietly hold the world together. They don’t say, “I lost.” They say, “It left scars.”

Scars are evidence of healing. They are not proof that nothing happened. They are proof that something happened and that you endured.

The ancient warrior people we admired were covered in scars. The difference is that we romanticize the scars we can see and overlook those carried in silence.

REAL HEROES

Isaiah 40:29, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

I have traveled thousands of miles to sit with struggling entrepreneurs. I’ve taught students who may never remember my name. I’ve written about pain not to display it but to help others navigate their own. I’ve continued to exercise, learn, serve, and hope, even while carrying losses I rarely describe in detail. That is life.

I know we resist the word “hero,” and I understand why. We associate it with exceptional people who do what ordinary people cannot.

But perhaps there is another definition. Maybe a hero isn’t someone who avoids fear. Maybe a hero is simply someone who refuses to surrender their humanity.

Someone who keeps showing up, absorbing hardship without passing it on.

Someone who says, “This pain stops with me.”

It is the person who can still laugh, still teach, still encourage, and still notice the person sitting alone in the corner after life has taken its swings.

You may never feel like an action figure. Most survivors don’t. They know too much about their failures, doubts, anger, exhaustion, and limitations to believe in the mythology.

But if I had to choose between following the invincible hero who has never bled and the scarred survivor who says, “I’ve been knocked down more than once. I don’t have all the answers, but I know you can take one more step because I’ve taken it myself,”

I CHOOSE

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I would choose the survivor every time.

Because survivors don’t offer fantasy, they offer hope. Not the hope that life won’t wound us, but the hope that wounds don’t have the final word.

Another Year

Another year, another birthdayAnother year, another Birthday has arrived.

Preparation for old age should begin no later than one’s teens. A life that is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled upon retirement. – Dwight L. Moody

At 76, I have gained something many people never do: perspective. Not because life has been easy, but because I have stayed engaged with it. I have seen success and disappointment, opportunity and poverty, faith and doubt, and love and loss across cultures and continents.

Job 12:12, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life…. bring understanding?”

When I was younger, I measured life by milestones. Today, I measure it by opportunities. Opportunities to learn, to help, to encourage, and to leave something behind that matters. The milestones fade. The opportunities shape us.

When I was young, birthdays seemed to be about getting older. Somewhere along the way, I realized they are really about getting another chance to live.

Life rarely unfolds as we imagine. We begin with plans, dreams, and expectations. Then reality arrives. We encounter obstacles we never anticipated, losses we never wanted, and lessons we never volunteered to learn.

The road is rarely smooth.

Proverbs 4:7, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it costs all you have, get understanding.”

There are victories worth celebrating, yet they often arrive disguised as struggles. The promotion follows years of sacrifice. Wisdom follows mistakes. Strength follows hardship. Compassion is often born of pain.

Looking back, I can see that some of the greatest blessings in my life arrived disguised as disappointment.

Isaiah 46:4, “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you.”

The challenges were not interruptions in life; they were life itself.

The failures taught me humility. The setbacks taught me perseverance. The heartbreak taught me empathy. The uncertainty taught me faith.

I would not have chosen many of those experiences, yet I would not be who I am without them.

Psalms 37:25, “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken.”

As the years pass, I find myself less impressed by achievement and more by endurance.

I admire those who keep going:

    • The people who get back up after life knocks them down.
    • The people who continue loving after loss.
    • The people who continue to hope even when circumstances offer little reason to do so.
    • The people who quietly do what is right when no one is watching.

The world often celebrates the extraordinary moment. I have come to appreciate the extraordinary life built on ordinary faithfulness.

    • One day at a time.
    • One decision at a time.
    • One act of kindness at a time.
    • One step forward at a time.

Psalms 92:14, “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.”

Birthdays have also taught me something about gratitude.

    • I am grateful for the people who walked beside me, even if only for a season.
    • I am grateful for those who encouraged me when I doubted myself.
    • I am grateful to those who challenged me because they helped shape me.
    • I am grateful for the opportunities God placed before me and for the strength He provided when the path became difficult.

Most of all, I am grateful that God is not finished with me yet.

    • Every sunrise is evidence of purpose.
    • Every breath is a gift.
    • Every day is another chance to learn, to serve, to encourage, and to leave the world a little better than we found it.

I do not know how many birthdays remain ahead of me. None of us does.

But I know this: Life is not measured by the number of years we are given. It is measured by how we live them.

So today I celebrate—not because I am another year older, but because I have been given another year to run the race.

    • Another year to learn.
    • Another year to serve.
    • Another year to love.
    • Another year to grow.

And until I run out of time or money, whichever comes first, I intend to keep running.

Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Buried but Not Forgotten

Buried PainBuried but not forgotten, I was asked today to join a panel to discuss one of the most painful events of my life. The purpose is noble: to help others understand pain, survival, and the hidden struggles people carry. We go through these stages to refine ourselves and become more human in our interactions with others.

We live in a broken world where pain is an inevitable part of our lives. Because we only know our own experiences, it is hard to imagine others going through the same thing. Our pain is unique to us.

John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Buried

What you have gone through prepares you to help others. It makes you relatable. It also gives you the experience to know that you can survive and thrive in a world that is doing its best to crush you. That is an important message to pass on.

But pain is pain. Much of it I have buried deep in the ground. I have even removed the headstone so I do not go back to revisit it. It is part of me. It influences decisions in subtle, subconscious ways. I don’t have to make friends with it. I need to understand it and find a way forward without letting it dictate my life. And I have.

Hebrews 13:5, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Now I have been asked to resurrect it. I have been asked to go deep into the woods and find the indentation in the ground marking its resting place. I must search for it. Remember where and why I buried it. Then I have to revive it, bring it back to life in front of others.

Resurrected

I don’t know how. I’ve gone over it and over it in my mind. How do I talk about something so personal without being condescending or glib? How do I keep from masking the hurt and shame while staying honest? No one, not even my closest and dearest friend, knows the whole story. Mostly to protect the other party, partly to protect myself.

I’m afraid I have no advice today except this. That day, the one that changed my life forever, was not a hard decision. It came naturally.

God said, “Do this,” and I did.

I think it saved a life.

But it cost me everything.

To the outside world, it was a failure on a grand scale. But to me, there was no plan “B”. I have never regretted it, and given the chance, I would do it again.

Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Living

But there is a scar that runs deep. Every once in a while, I gently rub my hand over it to remind myself I am still alive. I have to do that because I am human, and until that changes, I will feel pain from time to time.

I have a God who has never abandoned me, even in the moments when I could not understand the cost. In my darkest hour, He is there. There is nothing I will ever go through that is a surprise to Him. And, if I allow, He will use it for my good.

2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Opportunity: The Unrecognized Path from Poverty

Poverty and OpportunityThe unrecognized path out of poverty isn’t education or money; it’s opportunity.

I have spent a significant amount of time in developing nations. In many of these places, illiteracy is common—not because people lack intelligence or motivation, but because their environment rarely requires reading or writing. Access to written materials, digital tools, and formal systems is limited. Life centers on survival, often through physical labor, with the priority simple: find enough for today. Tomorrow will have to wait its turn.

World events and political debates rarely intersect with daily life. The stock market, industrial growth, and global conflict are distant abstractions. When survival is the priority, long-term planning becomes a luxury.

If we define poverty as the lack of stable income, reliable healthcare, infrastructure, and access to capital, a significant share of the world would be considered poor. Even under more moderate income thresholds of $3.65 to $6.85 per day, nearly half of the global population remains economically fragile. These are not people on the brink of starvation but people living one disruption away from crisis.

The Less Obvious

What is less obvious is that this fragility is not limited to developing nations.

In the United States, where the median individual income is roughly $40,000 to $45,000 per year, an estimated 50–60% of people would struggle to absorb a major financial shock without outside help. The difference is not whether vulnerability exists—it is how visible it is. In developing nations, it is expected. In developed nations, it is often hidden behind higher income levels.

So what does survival—and ultimately progress—depend on?

It is not money alone. Many high-income individuals live under constant financial strain.
It is not education alone. Many well-educated individuals fail to translate knowledge into meaningful progress.

The people who consistently move forward, regardless of their environment, tend to share two characteristics. First, they have access to opportunity. Second—and more importantly—they act on it.

Opportunity Is Not Equal

Ephesians 5:15-16, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.”

Opportunity is not evenly distributed, but more importantly, it is not equally visible.

In developing environments, opportunities are often constrained by external factors. Limited infrastructure, lack of access to capital, and underdeveloped markets restrict what is possible. A person may have the ability and the willingness, but no clear path to apply either.

In developed environments, the challenge is different. Opportunity is abundant, but it is often diluted. With many possible paths comes uncertainty, distraction, and hesitation. When everything is possible, nothing feels urgent. The perceived cost of failure becomes a barrier, even when the actual risk is relatively small.

This creates an unexpected contrast. In one environment, people cannot act because opportunities are scarce. In the other, people often do not act because opportunities are overwhelming.

Opportunity Has Two Components

2 Corinthians 9:6, “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.”

Opportunity is not a single condition. It is the intersection of two elements:

Access – the presence of a viable path, and action – the decision to take that path

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”  Mark Twain

Most efforts to reduce poverty focus on access: education, funding, infrastructure, and systems. These are essential. Without them, opportunity cannot exist meaningfully.

But access alone does not create change. An opportunity that is not acted upon is indistinguishable from one that never existed.

Why Opportunity Is Missed

Colossians 4:5, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.”

In developing regions, opportunities are often missed because they are structurally blocked. There may be no capital to start a business, no market to reach, or no infrastructure to support growth.

In developed regions, opportunities are missed for very different reasons: fear of losing what already exists, comfort with the status quo, overanalysis and indecision, lack of urgency, and, most importantly, the absence of accountability.

These are not external barriers. They are internal constraints.

This leads to a paradox: Those with the least opportunity often act decisively when given a chance, while those with the most opportunity hesitate.

The Real Constraint

The limiting factor is not intelligence. It is not even education. It is the ability to recognize opportunity in its earliest form—and to act before it becomes obvious.

Most opportunities do not arrive fully developed. They do not present themselves as a clear, low-risk path, they often appear incomplete, uncertain, and inconvenient. They may require effort before reward, risk before clarity, and movement without guarantees.

Those who progress are not necessarily those with the best opportunities, but those who act on imperfect ones.

A More Accurate Definition of Poverty

Poverty is not simply the absence of resources. It is the absence of an accessible, actionable opportunity. In many cases, it is the absence of the mindset required to act when that opportunity appears.

Proverbs 14:23, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”

This applies globally, locally, and individually.

The Path Forward

If this is true, the path out of poverty, whether in a rural village or a developed city, requires more than money or education.

It is the creation of environments where opportunity is visible and reachable, and where people are equipped—and expected—to act.

Romans 11:29, “The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable.”

This is where real change occurs. Not when opportunity is merely theoretical, but when it becomes practical, tangible, and acted upon.

Closing Thought

Opportunity is the bridge between potential and progress.

Without opportunity, potential remains dormant. Without action, opportunity is wasted.

Where both exist, progress becomes inevitable.

Revelation 3:8, “Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one can shut.”