Purpose Archives - Page 2 of 18

June 18, 2024May 31, 2024

I Never Heard Anyone Regret Prayer.

I’ve never heard anyone regret praying. I certainly haven’t. While some may be hesitant to pray or feel like some people are still waiting for answers, no one ever regrets turning to prayer.

Prayer can be challenging. We ask for what we want, yet acknowledge that God acts within His will. When asked, “Does God answer prayer?” the typical response is that He does so with a yes, no, or not now. This response, while accurate, can feel unsatisfying.

James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” Understanding this, we realize that while we may not always get what we want when we want it, God’s blessings still come. I’ve prayed for the same person’s salvation for thirty years without seeing it happen. Does this mean they never will? Not necessarily. Free will play a role. Do I regret those prayers? Never.

When Does God Hear Our Prayers?

How attuned is God to us when we pray? How quickly does He hear us?

Isaiah 65:24 assures us, “It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.”

God, who created everything effortlessly, knows the plan He has for each of us. He is aware of every detail of our lives. The balance between God’s predestination and our free will is a mystery we must accept.

Colossians 1:16 reminds us, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”

God knows our hearts and our prayers before we speak them. We pray because God yearns to hear our voices. He longs for us to come to Him willingly, rejoicing when we acknowledge our need for Him. By turning to Him in prayer, we honor Him.

1 John 5:14 states, “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

When Does God Answer Our Prayers?

If God knows our prayers before we speak, when does He answer? He begins to act immediately. The complexity of answered prayer is beyond our comprehension, considering the ripple effects across billions of lives.

E. M. Bounds said, “I think Christians fail so often to get answers to their prayers because they do not wait long enough on God.”

In Daniel Chapter 10, an angel sent to answer Daniel’s prayer was delayed by evil forces and needed the Archangel Michael’s help. Satan opposes answered prayer, but God always prevails.

Revelation 20:10 assures us, “And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.”

God works on our behalf even in our frustration, disillusionment, or shortage of faith. We might not always see it, but He is there. The answers we receive may not always align with our desires, as our perspective on eternity is limited. However, no one ever regrets praying. Being in the presence of God and sharing our frustrations has intrinsic value. God loves us, understands our struggles, and longs to hear our voices.

Ephesians 6:18 encourages us, “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.”

The Unending Value of Prayer

No one ever regrets prayer. Praying and reaching out to God is a profound expression of faith and trust. In prayer, we find comfort, strength, and the assurance that God is always listening and working for our good.

There is a companion post about “Pray Without Ceasing.”

June 11, 2024June 11, 2024

Live Like Jesus: Share What You Have

Live like Jesus. You must first embody those principles within yourself to inspire others to believe and act in a certain way. The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” often used by parents, suggests a disconnect between advice and action. It implies that their guidance should be followed even when they might not be perfect. However, this can come across as, “I don’t have to act right, but you do.”

Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?"

Many non-Christians perceive Christians in one of two ways: either as people who believe the only actual sin is that of others or as people who think, “We are both sinners, but God has forgiven me, but not you.” Both perceptions reflect a hypocritical, self-absorbed form of Christianity that lacks inclusiveness.

Jesus Spent Time with Everyone

Jesus spent time with non-believers, demonstrating that we are all sinners, including His disciples. He was often criticized for the company He kept and for criticizing the religious leaders’ hypocrisy. Jesus connected with non-believers out of genuine care. He did not condemn them for their lifestyle; instead, He encouraged them, showing compassion and grace. He knew many would still not believe, but this did not change how He treated them.

1 John 2:6, "Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked."

People are drawn to Jesus because they understand who He is, not just what He said. His words explained His nature and His love drew people in. This attitude allowed Him to guide them towards living a life more like His. Jesus’ appeal was otherworldly, breaking the mold of traditional religiosity. He ended performance-based religion, offering salvation through faith instead of sacrifice.

Embrace Positive Action

Sin is not irrelevant, but behavior driven solely by compliance and acceptance is devoid of love. It is a performance-based mindset focusing on the negative. In contrast, behavior driven by a desire to be like Jesus and to treat others with compassion is grounded in the positive. The goal is not merely to avoid hell, which is the natural outcome for those who have not accepted Christ, but to live as Christ did.

Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children."

Do you avoid sin to keep God happy or strive to be like Jesus? Is your focus on avoiding wrongdoing or on doing what is right? Christ’s sacrifice means we no longer need to perform sacrifices to please Him. He delights in those who aspire to live as He lived.

What Can You Give Away?

Reflect on what you hold dear. Does a need for Christ’s acceptance drive your life? Do you believe your behavior, church attendance, Bible study, mission trips, and memorized verses endear you to Christ? Do you judge others by their compliance?

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot.

When Jesus encountered someone struggling with their sin, He felt compassion. He understood their pain, anxiety, fear, and loneliness. Jesus cherished love, acceptance, and the desire for them to find rest. While it is easy to judge others, it is more challenging to understand and accept them into the body of Christ.

Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Not everyone will respond positively to your invitation, but that doesn’t mean they never will. Transformation is possible only through the redeeming power of Christ. Live like Jesus, and allow Him to work through you.

Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

June 4, 2024May 31, 2024

A Problem Without a Solution is a Fact

“If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.” – Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres

Recognizing Facts and Moving Forward

Understanding that some issues are beyond resolution can be liberating. Consider the example of a parent who may not have provided the ideal level of support during your upbringing. This might have impacted your self-esteem or emotional growth. While this situation is unfortunate, it’s a fact of your past that cannot be altered. Instead of dwelling on the unchangeable, we can focus on how to move forward positively.

The Power of Perspective

How we handle problems differs significantly from how we accept facts. Problems can be dissected, analyzed, and tackled step-by-step. The future is open to influence and transformation. Conversely, some life circumstances are immutable, whether they stem from the past or exist in the present beyond our control.

1 Peter 3:9, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

Problem-solving is part art and part skill. Some tried and true approaches help minimize the impact of problems. There are strategies for breaking a problem into manageable parts and solving each at a time. Sometimes, solving a problem requires playing a hunch or rolling the dice but in a predictable manner. The art must be grounded in skill. But how do we deal with a problem without a solution?

Navigating Unsolvable Problems

An insightful lesson from my college days comes to mind. I had a calculus professor who always put one problem on the test that did not have a solution. Although his responsibility was to teach us math, he also felt compelled to teach us about life. A student would flunk the test if they didn’t concede that some problems are unsolvable. They would spend all their time working on one equation that had no answer, leaving the other, solvable problems, unattended. Once students understood this, they were more careful about how they spent their time during the test. Now, the question is to decide which problems are complicated or unsolvable.

James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Accepting and Adapting to Facts

Many of us struggle to accept unpleasant facts, which can lead to frustration and wasted effort. Embracing reality allows us to redirect our energy towards meaningful pursuits. Acceptance paves the way for peace and purpose, freeing us from the burden of trying to change the unchangeable.

Romans 8:31, “What shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Creating a Positive Path Forward

A problem without a solution becomes a fact, and accepting it is the first step towards progress. We must forgive past transgressions, whether ours or others’, and focus on what we can influence. For instance, dealing with different personality types isn’t about changing others but adjusting our approach to create productive interactions.

1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

Living with Compassion and Faith

Compassion can transform relationships and situations. Slowing down, being humble, and accepting solutions beyond our control can lead to extraordinary outcomes. Trusting in Christ and embodying His love helps alleviate stress and anxiety, leading to smoother paths in life.

Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Trusting in Divine Guidance

Recognizing that God’s love can overcome all obstacles is empowering. Many of life’s challenges are, in fact, unchangeable, and we must turn these over to God. Instead of struggling against the inevitable, we can seek guidance, patience, and a way forward through faith.

John 8:36, “So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”

By embracing facts and focusing on what we can influence, we open ourselves to a life filled with peace, purpose, and the transformative power of faith.

May 28, 2024May 28, 2024

Crazy Love

Crazy Love is the name of my favorite coffee shop. Its genesis is scripture and the crazy pursuit of God toward us foolish humans. It got me thinking about love. Not the visceral reaction to lust. I was thinking about how God ingrained in us the desire to love and be loved. Have you ever been deeply in love, real love, crazy love? The love that stops your heart and makes you say and do stupid things. A love that makes you want to do anything to please the one you love.

Again, it is not trivial acts like gifts, romantic dinners, and vacations. I’m talking about real love—the type that makes you wash the dishes, take out the trash, and hold the door open. You know you are in love when doing the mundane is your love language. Have you experienced the type of love whose genesis is a deep understanding of the emotional needs of the one you love? It is not about winning their affection but showing yours. It is selfless.

“A wise lover regards not so much the gift of him who loves as the love of him who gives.” – Thomas Kempis.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7, “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”

WILD LOVE AS A FORCE

Love is a force that transcends time, culture, and belief systems. It has the power to heal, inspire, and transform lives. What is it like to love someone so much that you will subject yourself to enormous emotional pain? Physical pain is understandable; there is a source and maybe a remedy. Emotional pain is irrational, without a focus, and its only remedy is time. We all have experienced the dark side of love. We all have a first crazy love or an unrequited love that gave us that moment that stood still, life stopped, and we couldn’t breathe. As painful as it was, we crave it again. We want to feel desperate love. But at the same time, we fear its control.

1 John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love.”

I have been with friends who have lost the love of their lives; the pain was suffocating. Many suffer from long-lasting depression. But, the degree of pain is directly proportional to the level of love. If they had not loved deeply, there would be no pain. The pain they feel is a blessing created by the love they have had the joy to experience. No love, no pain. Great love, great pain.

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ― Jamie Anderson.

PASSIONATE LOVE AS AN EXPERIENCE

I remember the great loves of my life; most were flawed, nothing more than a chemical reaction. If I allow myself, I can still feel the pain of their departure. Secretly, I crave that feeling again, not the pain but the love. I will accept the pain to experience the love.

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

That is how God loves you. God will take out the trash and hold the door open for you. He has given his life that you might live. God isn’t a lover who showers you with trifling gifts to make you happy. He is tied into the very heart of your emotional needs. The pain He feels at your transgression must be immense. Imagine Him taking all that pain for every person that ever lived. Great love, great pain.

1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

I don’t think we take the time to think about how much He loves us. We intellectually understand that He loved us to the point of death, but we haven’t tied it to our experience. We somehow think the love God has embedded in us differs from His. God made us in His image; why would it be different? Why would God’s pain in our absence be less than our human experience?

PURE LOVE AS A SALVE

Colossians 3:14, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

Next time God is an inconvenience or maybe too much work, think of the pain you are causing Him. Not because you have transgressed, He can deal with that, but because He lost your love. God yearns for our love just as we yearn to love and be loved. But He does it for eight billion people and still counting.

Pray Without Ceasing

Pray without ceasing. I must confess I do not understand prayer. I know God answers prayer because I have seen it repeatedly. But I see the macro-level outcome, not the micro-level decision-making. Here is my analogy of experiencing prayer. I am watching this great painter paint a masterpiece, marveling at the use of color and space. I see this image slowly appear. In the end, I see what the painter had in mind. But I never see what the painter thinks as they move the brush around the canvas. I do not see their intent or motivation. Is the image they had the same as the image I see?

1 Thessalonians 5:17. "Pray without ceasing."

That is what prayer looks like to me. I can look at my past and see God moving in my life. I see outcomes I could not predict or imagine come to fruition. But what I do not see in the actual act of answered prayer. I know God is working in my life, but to what end? Again, at a macro level, this all makes sense. God created me to glorify Him. That is the macro-level view. And maybe that is all I am to care about.

The greatest tragedy of life is not unanswered prayer but unoffered prayer. – F.B. Meyer, British pastor, author, and evangelist

MICRO-LEVEL PRAYER

But at the micro-level, what are the mechanisms that drive the outcome? This conundrum boils down to predestination and free will. It is that weird and complex interaction between God knowing everything before it happens and me getting a chance to change my future by deciding. This contradiction is baffling at best and downright irritating at its worst. I must admit that part of this is the control aspect of my personality. I have no problem giving up control if I know what the controlling entity plans to do, I do not even have to agree with what they plan to do if I can anticipate the outcome. God’s not like that. God understands our limitations. He knows that we can not foresee the eternal impact of His decisions. I guess He doesn’t want to get involved with endless answers of “why?”

Romans 12:12, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

PRAYER WORKS

So, prayer works. I can tell you hundreds, if not thousands, of answered prayers, all in hindsight. I can walk you through my life from early childhood, pointing out the mile markers God placed there. He did this long before I had a relationship with Him. God created me with a purpose. Somehow, I must live up to that purpose, but He already knows my decision. Sorry, I’m getting a headache.

If prayer works, even without my understanding, what does that mean? Pray without ceasing. First, prayer changes me. It allows me to go over issues with God and receive His wisdom. Sometimes, that wisdom is peace with the outcome before I know it. Sometimes, I know He listens and cares deeply about what I am going through. He empathizes with my situation and that I can not see its impact on eternity. I leave prayer at peace.

Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."

Second, I must pray. I know of people and situations I cannot keep to myself. I know God already knows and has a plan, but I cannot keep quiet. My soul needs to vent and cry out. It isn’t about getting what I want or changing God’s mind; it is about compassion, love, and uncertainty. If I keep it bottled up, it will fester into a viral cancer, destroying who God made me. Prayer is the pressure value that allows me to move forward.

Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Lastly, pray when you have no words. When life covers you like a dense fog, and you are left sightless, let your Spirit speak. God does not leave us on an island to fend for ourselves. He knows our weaknesses.

Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING

Brother Lawrence, a lay brother in a Carmelite monastery in Paris, wrote in his book “The Practice of the Presence of God” that we should cultivate a constant awareness of God’s presence in everyday life, creating continual conversation with God, making every moment an opportunity for communion with the Divine.

We see blessings in the rear-view mirror. Sometimes, we will not see them this side of heaven. God is wonderful and mysterious. He cares deeply about you and the issues in your life, even the tiny, mundane issues. God saw all of it as He formed you. God knows your idiosyncrasies; God created them. He knows your fears and phobias. God gave you a way around them. We find this out through prayer.

Matthew 6:6, "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

May 7, 2024May 7, 2024

Forfeiting Your Soul

Forfeiting your soul sounds drastic, even unthinkable, but very possible. I just returned from Honduras; I have twenty-one business cases to review and countless other tasks. My internet has been out, so I am far behind. All the “good” I intended to do is now a rat race against time. I replaced the compassion that drove me from the start with an urgency to finish.

Matthew 16:26. "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

MY SOUL

I’m not concerned with losing my salvation; God is too loving and compassionate for that. I am concerned with losing the soul of my being. In my quest to serve, will I lose the very essence of servitude? The most outstanding achievers in this world, who sacrifice to be the best, are selectively neglectful. They intentionally chose not to let certain things enter their lives that might distract them from their goal. Many of these people go on to achieve great things but, in the end, regret what they sacrificed to achieve it. Interestingly, we realize the importance of things only late in life. The important things turn out to be people.

Just think, you’re here not by chance but by God’s choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are. He compares you to no one else – You are one of a kind. You lack nothing that His grace can’t give you. He has allowed you to be here in this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation. – Roy Lessin

We try to be significant by being successful, smart, famous, rich, strong, popular, or good-looking. But there is always someone more successful, smarter, famous, richer, popular, and good-looking. If worldly standards define your significance, you will always come up short.

Jesus told the young rich ruler, “Sell all your possessions and give them to the poor.” But that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was, “Then come and follow me.” We think the hard part is giving our wealth to Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, or Honduras or giving a week or two to serve others. But it’s not. The hard part is living like Jesus every day.

Matthew 19:21, "Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

THE TRADE-OFF

As a high type “A,” I am goal and commitment-oriented. At times, I am way too pragmatic for my good. The trade-off I face now is: do I achieve a goal and live up to a commitment, or do I serve? Do I take as long as it takes to do justice to those I came to help, or do I meet the minimum standard so I look good in meeting a timetable? Do I gain some level of respect by being seen as a doer, an achiever, or a man of my word, or do I do what is right knowing that it will be an inconvenience in the short term, but in the long term, better serve God’s will in other people lives.

1 Corinthians 2:5, "So that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God."

The problem is that, just like myself, people don’t always see God’s plan for their life. Giving food to people experiencing poverty isn’t just about meeting short-term needs; it is more about the eternal impact of salvation. These business plans are not about making a living; they are about using what God has given every one to impact their community for Christ. Rushing through the temporal analysis of the business and not giving justice to the eternal impact the business can have on its community is to nullify the primary purpose.

The business must be successful to sustain evangelism, but an ongoing enterprise without Christ is meaningless.

PRIORITIES

God’s way is better than your way. His plan is bigger than your plan. His dream for your life is more rewarding, more fulfilling, better than you’ve ever dreamed of. Now stay open and let God do it His way. – Joel Osteen

The concern is not eternal salvation; it is losing the soul of your being. Do I trust God enough to set aside my priorities to serve Him? Does my obsession with who or what I think I am or should be, override who God made me to be? Do I trust in God’s outcome over mine?

As I was leaving Honduras, I was physically exhausted, mentally drained, and uncomfortable. In those times, I become very quiet and introspective. I looked over at the phone of one of our Honduras helpers, and her screen said:

1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

God speaks, not in a booming voice, but a whisper. Because He cares for me, He will not waste my time on meaningless tasks. What He has me doing has value in the lives of others even when I don’t see it. It is His plan, His timing, and His outcome. He allows me the joy of being part of it.

When God created you, He created a dream and wrapped a body around it. – Lou Engle

April 30, 2024April 30, 2024

The Dopamine Experience

The dopamine experience, the runner’s high; gambling, extreme sports, or even drugs like cocaine and methamphetamines provide an emotional thrill. They all give us a sense of being bulletproof and invisible. It is like learning to fly without learning to land. The takeoff is exhilarating, but the ground is somewhat unforgiving, as are the consequences of unbridled emotions.

Ethereal Experience

The easiest approach to life is to let go, abandon all pretense, and allow your emotions to take over. There is something ethereal about not overanalyzing the moment. It can be momentarily euphoric to stop fighting the urge. It is a thrill-seeking behavior where anger triggers dopamine reward receptors in the brain. One of our great struggles is to build a wall between the person we are and the person God made us to be. At the moment, the person we are seems much more attractive than the person God wants.

James 1:20, "for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

Early in my adolescence, I didn’t understand the addictive nature of anger. I was a dopamine addict. Anger became its reward; the final consequences were always destructive, yet I followed the impulses in the moment without regard for them. Weirdly, I perceived the consequences as a result of the other person’s reaction, not my action. I was the victim.

The best revenge is to be unlike the one who performed the injustice. – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

We understand the implications of rage, but I think we underestimate its destructive characteristics. Anger is more subtle and less evil. It ebbs and flows with the circumstances of the day. Saint Augustine stated, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Anger is a slow-acting poison; the changes are driven from within, and it is hard for the angry person to notice.

Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry, and yet do not sin."

We all get angry; it is a visceral reaction to what we perceive as injustice. It is that instantaneous impulse to react, to do something. In that dopamine rush, the question is, what? It is tough to overcome our instincts. We are not rational; we are emotional. How do we change that momentum into positive change? It does not happen by resisting the urge but by redirecting it.

Proverbs 19:11, "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression."

Redirecting

We are become a more unforgiving society. We have our truth, and you have yours, but yours is wrong. I am less and less amazed by people who will stand their ground in light of the onslaught of facts to the contrary. We become so emotionally invested in a position we can not fathom an opposing view. Any fact that disagrees with my position is a lie, a fabrication, and fake news. There is only one truth.

Psalm 8:6, "You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet."

Redirecting our emotions is about reevaluating our perception of that truth. God oversees all things. That truth has the power to overcome any obstacle. I do not have to defend my position or even be right concerning my opinion. God has the final decision. If my position contradicts God, it will fail, even if I prevail in my argument. If my position is consistent with God’s will, it will happen whether others agree.

Read A cts 5:34-39, where Gamaliel says, “For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

The way to redirect anger is to believe that God is behind everything that happens. You do not have to protect yourself from injustice; God will in his time. The timing may not be to our wants, but we don’t have control over it. The underlying feelings of weakness, insecurity, and lack of control are our perceptions, not reality. We can walk away knowing that the God we worship has this. It is not about being right or wrong but about accepting God’s dominion.

Final Decision

That is not to say that we shouldn’t speak to injustice; it is to say that it is not ours to achieve. God’s plan for us may intersect with a particular injustice, but the timing and outcome are still His. Your part is to mirror Christ; His part is to bring about changed hearts and souls.

Ephesians 4:31-32, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

April 23, 2024April 18, 2024

The Man in the Mirror or the Man Behind it

My thoughts today began with deciding whether I was the man in the mirror or the man behind it. We have all seen the detective TV shows where the suspect is in the interrogation room, and there is always a mirror on one wall. Both the suspect and the investigator know this is a two-way mirror. The suspects can only see themselves, but on the other side is a mysterious someone watching them. The man in front of the mirror is introspective, the man behind the mirror is judgmental. As I think about the arduous task of loving the unlovable, I realize I must stop being the man behind the mirror and become the man in front of it. I must stop thinking I am the mysterious stranger judging others when I am the suspect seeing myself.

Matthew 7:12, "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

I can only manage myself. It is God who manages others. It is He who changes hearts and mends broken souls. To many of the people I interact with, I am the arduous task they must perform. So, the beginning is to understand how I would like others to interact with me and then turn that around to understand how I should interact with them.

Being Me

When I am being me, I often stray. Sometimes, I am too preoccupied with my problem to focus on yours; I have an appointment or a call to make. Other times, rather than listening, I want to talk: OK, I understand the problem; here is the answer; let us move on. What may seem earth-shattering to you comes across as trivial to me because I will not experience the aftermath. I become frustrated because you keep talking when I am interrupting. The man in front of the mirror sees a man on a mission; he is focused. The mysterious person behind the mirror sees someone uncaring and self-centered.

2 Timothy 2:24, "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil."

There is a term non sequitur; it refers to a statement or inference that is not logically related to the previous context. When people think about themselves and disengage from the conversation, their responses can be non-sequitur. They seem out of the blue, as if the person you are talking with is having a separate conversation. That, my friends, is the first warning sign of the unlovable. That, at times, is me.

Acceptance

None knows the weight of another’s burden. – George Herbert

Dragging me back to reality is not an easy task. After all, if I’m not engaged with your current problems and have become one of them, how do you reengage me? It is not through criticism or judgment. That will only make me defensive. The entire conversation will spiral out of control, and no one will walk away happy. The answer is acceptance.

Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

I have found that when most people get upset, it has less to do with the current environment than previous actions that have finally come to a head. What preoccupies their thoughts is not the person in front of them but something else. Accepting that we are not the center of someone else’s universe is critical to understanding them. Everyone is juggling multiple situations and opportunities. I want people to understand that about me. I want you to know that I care about you but am conflicted by the world around me. It is not that I don’t care; it is, at the moment, not convenient to care. That is selfish and self-centered, but it happens.

Acknowledge, with compassion and love, that I am distracted. Could you help me prioritize my thinking? I may think my problem is more significant or timelier than yours. It may only seem that way because it is mine. When you care about me, I start caring about you.

Colossians 3:12, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

The Ethics of Reciprocity

Luke 6:31, "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

We started talking about about the man in front of or behind the mirror. Now I must switch places. If I want you to accept me for who I am and integrate that person into the conversation, I must do the same for you. I must set aside my agenda for a minute and allow you to express yourself. I must accept that this conversation has more to do with the past than the present. You will start caring about me only after I have shown that I care about you.

Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

It is sometimes called an ethics of reciprocity. But I prefer to say it is the natural behavior of someone who lives with God at the center of their life. I must understand that I am in that interrogation room with a stranger behind the mirror every moment of every day. I am either drawing them closer to Christ or pushing them away. People I will never engage with will see my behavior and decide. But am I acting in the way I do to avoid condemnation, or is it because God’s love for me has changed my love for humankind? Is it reciprocity, or is it the natural state of my being? It is a daily struggle for most people because it is reciprocity: am I getting value for my effort? To indeed have a Godly heart is a manifestation of who you are.

Philippians 2:1-3, "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind."

April 16, 2024April 15, 2024

What is Your Gibeonite?

What is your Gibeonite? A Gibeonite is something that seems trivial to you at the time but weakens your dependence on God. There is an exciting storyline in the Old Testament concerning the Gibeonites. The story spans over a thousand years. Here it is paraphrased:

God told Joshua to eliminate all the foreigners in the land he was to possess on the other side of the Jordan. The Gibeonite, seeing the power of the Israelites after the fall of both Jericho and Ai, devised a plan to deceive Joshua, causing him to make a covenant with them before God (Joshua 9-10). God did not punish Joshua and the Israelites but honored Joshua’s covenant. Even the five Kings were not allowed to wipe out the Gibeonites. But when Saul tried to wipe out the Gibeonite years later (2 Samuel 21-22), God punished him by having five of Saul’s sons hung by the Gibeonites. Five hundred years after that, Melatiah the Gibeonite and other men of Gibeon helped Nehemiah rebuild the walls of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 3). There is a story behind this that has everyday application.

Joshua 9:3,4,6 "However, when the people of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done to Jericho and Ai, they resorted to a ruse:… they went to Joshua in the camp at Gilgal and said to him and the Israelites, "We have come from a distant country; make a treaty with us."

2 Samuel 21-22, "So David asked the Lord for help, and the Lord answered, "Saul and his family are guilty of murder, because he had the Gibeonites killed."

Nehemiah 3:7, "Next to them, repairs were made by men from Gibeon and Mizpah—Melatiah of Gibeon and Jadon of Meronoth."

This storyline is an interesting discussion topic for your Christian friends. Several nuances within the story create interesting conversation: For example, why did the Gibeonites only mention the military achievements of the Israelites on the other side of the Jordan and not the more current successes at Jericho and Ai? God honored Joshua’s prayer to hold the sun in the mid-day sky so he could complete the battle. Does God change His mind based on prayer?

Application

Your commitments can develop you or destroy you, but either way, they will define you. – Rick Warren

What is your Gibeonite? But today, my thoughts are on how this story plays out in my life. I go to the Lord when I have a big problem or circumstance I can not handle. I seek His council and the council of believers for wisdom, discernment, guidance, and patience. I seek out His will for this situation. At the same time, I may be dealing with a repetitive, monotonous, and mundane issue like dealing with a family member or friend. Maybe it is acquiring something I do not feel is life-altering, like a car or vacation. Do I take the same approach for both?

John 14:14, "If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."

The Gibeonites convinced Joshua that they were not a threat. Joshua seems to think that the decision is mundane; they are not part of the tribes that God has asked him to wipe out. He does not seek God’s advice. Joshua makes a covenant with them; he commits. Even though Joshua disobeyed God, God honors that commitment even when it produces wrong results, such as the false prophet Hananiah.

First Observation: Consequences

Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

One of the first things we observe is that God will honor our good intentions when we try to do the right thing. But he will not protect us from the natural consequences. There are a lot of decisions we can make in our lives that do not have eternal consequences, but they may have earthly consequences. For example, taking the wrong job may challenge our ability to maintain a Christian lifestyle due to stress and anxiety. Still, if we stay true to God’s word, it will not affect our salvation. God will allow us to experience what it is like to not consult God before deciding. It is one of the ways He helps us understand the significance of His presence in all things, even the trivial.

Second Observation: Steadfastness

2 Samuel 21:2, “The Gibeonites were not Israelites; they were descendants of the Amorites. The people of Israel had promised not to kill them, but Saul had tried to kill them because he wanted Israel and Judah to control all the land."

The original covenant that Joshua made with the Gibeonites was around 1400 BC. Saul attempted to wipe out the Gibeonites in the early 1000 BC, four hundred years later. God still honored Joshua’s covenant. Saul’s children paid the price for Saul’s actions. God views commitments as important. When you commit, as a Christian, you are mirroring God. People will judge Christianity by your actions. God takes this seriously. He may disagree with your commitment, but He will expect you to honor it, including the consequences.

Psalm 33:11, "The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations."

Third Observation: Redemption

The Gibeonites help Nehemiah rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. Nehemiah rebuilt the wall around 540 BC. Nearly a thousand years later, God uses Jushua’s covenant to rebuild the wall around His broken city. God is a master at making lemonade out of lemons. If our heart is right, God will make things right. We should not dwell in the past. Every one of us makes terrible decisions. God understands that about us. God will fix what we broke if our intentions are pure.

Luke 18:27, "Jesus replied, "There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything."

Of course, we can avoid all of this by always taking everything to God in prayer. Nothing is mundane or trivial to God. He enjoys that we respect His wisdom and seek His guidance.

1 Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray without ceasing."

April 9, 2024April 9, 2024

Compassion for a Stranger

Why is it easier to have compassion for a stranger than for those we know? I was watching a police drama on Britbox about a criminologist who had schizophrenia. I’m not sure what the original intent of having this personality type for the show was, but it brought back memories. I lived a while with someone who was mildly schizophrenic. It was difficult on me but far more difficult for them.

The imaginary people that came and went in their lives were people that understood them. Because they were figments of their own making, they carried the same traits as them; they understood them. Imagine what it would be like to find out the only people who truly understood you were imaginary. The people who didn’t understand what you were going through were real. Put yourself in their shoes, going through that disappointment repeatedly; all the people who made you feel better about yourself weren’t real.

Compassion costs. It is easy to argue, criticize, and condemn, but redemption is costly, and comfort draws from the deep. Brains can argue, but it takes heart to comfort. – Samuel Chadwick

1 Peter 3:8, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

Difficult People

Why can we demonstrate compassion for a stranger but struggle to show that same compassion to someone close to us? The compassion we demonstrate is not only relational to our caring; it sometimes is relational to our convenience. People who are difficult to understand take energy and patience; we cope in small measures. Those that we see often take too much energy. That one-day mission trip to the inner city makes us feel good because we can be the person we want to be for a short time. The day-in and day-out struggle to show compassion to those close to us reminds us of how far away we are from that person.

Philippians 2:1-3, “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in Spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.”

My experience helped me develop patience, which is easy when love is involved. It is much harder to develop when it is easy to walk away. Walking away solves immediate internal problems; staying takes tenacity, patience, and, most of all, courage. When I can take a day to interact with a homeless person in the inner city who has gone through a lot but can walk away at sunset, I can feel self-assured that I did something for another less fortunate person. I feel inadequate and vulnerable when I stare into the eyes of someone I love, knowing I can’t help them overcome their pain. As a human in a broken world, I need all the feel-good I can find.

Difficult Situations

It is three AM, and I am writing this by lamplight, knowing I must wake up in a few hours. But I woke with this in my mind; sleep had abandoned me because compassion overwhelmed me. I know the person I once loved; they reappear occasionally but are mostly lost. I see their struggles in the eyes of strangers. It reminds me that I can not fix everything, even the important things. But compassion for a stranger is easier, and it’s temporary. I am blessed not to live in their world; I can return to mine.

Psalm 112:4, “Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.”

We live in a dysfunctional, broken world that is not fair. People get dealt bad hands. Compassion is about feeling what they feel, with all its pain, suffering, and madness. We are not their savior; only Christ can save them. But we can have compassion for those God puts in front of us. That is what Christ did for us when He took up the cross. Christ felt our pain, suffering, and madness. He paid the price for all the bad in our lives.

We Love Because He Loved Us First.

1 John 4:19, “We love each other because he loved us first.”

We can put ourselves aside for a moment and try to see life through their eyes. We can try to help them feel normal for a few minutes in their lives. Genuine compassion comes at a high price; we must be vulnerable. We must accept that we can’t fix some things, especially people. But we can love them, even at difficult times. Genuine compassion is the ability to do that repeatedly for the same dysfunctional people in our lives. It’s not only mental illness; sometimes, it’s chronic anger, self-centeredness, or general sinfulness that holds them hostage.

We are the lucky ones; we can walk away. They never get to feel that relief.

Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”