Stories Archives - Tomme Stevenson

August 19, 2025August 27, 2025

“The Danger of a Single Story—and How to Embrace Many Narratives”

To choose to write is to reject silence. There is a risk in forming a narrative from a single story. But we do it all the time.

Someone is rude to us, and we form an image of that person. We see how someone dresses, and we create an impression of their life. Most of us read a news article and develop an opinion. We read a Bible verse and build a belief.

Matthew 7:1-2, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Context is everything. The backstory shapes the interaction. Most outbursts don’t come from the current event but are the result of past experiences. Life often boils over.

Until the lion tells the story, the hunter will always be glorified. — African Proverb (popularized by Chinua Achebe).

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I recently watched a TED Talk by Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie called “The Danger of a Single Story.” She explained how easy it is to form assumptions based on limited exposure, such as one article, one image, or one encounter. “The problem with stereotypes,” she said, “is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.”

1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

That resonated with me deeply. I’ve seen it play out in conversations about culture, poverty, politics, and faith. I’ve also caught myself doing it — jumping to conclusions before hearing the whole story.

Even in Scripture, we fall into this trap. We build entire theologies around single verses, ignoring the broader narrative. We isolate Jesus’ words without understanding the people He was addressing or the cultural backdrop of His day. When we do that, we risk distorting both the message and the heart behind it.

Because of my volunteer work I have had the privilege of listening to the backstories of incredible people in extremely adverse circumstances. People who I am convinced will change the world around them in spite of the political, economic and cultural issues holding them back. We are all created in the image of God, unique and perfect for the purpose for which God planned for us before all of creation. Most of us become trapped in a broken world and never achieve that purpose. Our voice is silenced and we are lost.

Stepping Back

John 8:7, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

But if we step back and listen longer — if we seek the whole story — something shifts.

Instead of judgment, we offer grace.

Instead of fear, we extend curiosity.

Instead of division, we build understanding.

The challenge is this: Will we choose the harder path of listening, learning, and unlearning the single stories we’ve absorbed? Will we allow room for complexity, contradiction, and growth in others and ourselves?

The next time someone crosses your path or a headline catches your eye, pause. Ask: Is this the whole story? Or just the easiest one to believe?

Maybe That’s Why I Write.

Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people… clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

There are days like this when I feel a strong desire to make a difference. I know I’m not a well-known influencer. I don’t have a huge platform or a viral message.

But I have simple words; words that might reach one person. Words that could start an echo, even if I never hear it.

So, I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep listening beyond just a single story. I’ll continue choosing grace, complexity, and truth — because sometimes, the smallest voice can shatter the loudest assumptions. Today, you and I are part of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s echo. We are the reverberation of her voice that she will never hear. I challenge you to start your echo in truth and grace.

August 20, 2024August 8, 2024

Everyone has a Story.

Listen and Silent Everyone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and listen.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“

Everyone’s Story

I have traveled worldwide and met people of many diverse cultures. What I have learned is that we all share the same DNA when it comes to life stories. It starts in tragedy, then crescendos to the impossible, and ends with great overcoming. The crescendo’s amplitude varies based on the environment, but the storyline remains intact.

I have found that the root cause of much of the conflict we experience in life is a lack of understanding about our commonality. We focus too much on our differences and not enough on our similarities.

Hebrews 3:4, “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”

Everyone has a personal story of overcoming challenges, and these stories are profoundly individual yet universally relatable. These stories showcase resilience, growth, and the human capacity to adapt and thrive in adversity. Listening to these stories can inspire us, foster empathy, and build connections by highlighting everyday experiences and struggles. Each story is a testament to the strength and determination inherent in the human spirit, reminding us that we can overcome even the most daunting obstacles.

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” — Dean Jackson.

EARNING THE RIGHT TO SPEAK

Mark 12:31, “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

How do you earn the right to speak? Most of us enter a conversation assuming we have the right to speak our minds. While this is conventional wisdom, it should not be the default attitude. A better way to position yourselves is to earn this right to speak.

Be Attentive: Eliminate distractions and concentrate fully on the speaker. Maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and adopt an open posture to show you are actively engaged in the conversation. You are not listening until it is your turn to talk; you are listening to understand their point of view.

Proverbs 18:13, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker finish their thoughts without interjecting. Pause before replying to ensure the speaker has finished their point. Keep your emotions in check and avoid reacting impulsively. Allow the conversation to flow naturally without rushing. We almost always find something to respond to in the middle of their monologue. There is a natural inclination to stop the speaker while your thoughts are fresh. If you let them continue, you show respect, and you might learn something that changes your response.

Show Empathy: Try to grasp the speaker’s emotions and perspectives. Acknowledge their feelings and experiences. This action shows that you understand and care. You can’t fake this. You care, or you don’t care. If you don’t care, why are you even having this conversation?

Ask Questions: Ask open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding. Questions should encourage the speaker to elaborate and share more details. The advice given to me is to convert every statement into a question. Instead of saying, “That won’t work.”, say, “How do you see that working?

Avoid Judgments: Listen without forming immediate opinions or assumptions. Respect the speaker’s viewpoint, even if it differs from your own.

Benefits of Listening

Proverbs 1:5, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”

When we become so wrapped up in our own story that we can not see or choose to disregard the story of others, we miss an incredible opportunity for grace. Rather than launching into a defense of our story, stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the story of the person in front of you. Here is what you might Learn:

Value of Empathy: Listening to someone’s story is a way to walk in their shoes, to see the world through their eyes. It fosters empathy and deepens your understanding of human experiences, creating meaningful connections. People do not create positions contrary to their experiences. There is a reason they think what they think. Discover it.

Personal Growth: Every story you hear can teach you something new. It can challenge your perspectives, broaden your horizons, and contribute to personal growth. We are all a product of our environment, and so are they. Try to understand the worldly forces molding their experience.

Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The Power of Validation: When you listen to someone’s story, you validate their experiences. This acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful and healing for the storyteller, reminding them that their voice matters. Stories remind us of our shared humanity. In a world that can often feel divided, listening to others can bring us closer together and highlight the common threads that unite us all.

Inspiration: Consider when someone’s story has inspired you, changed your perspective, or motivated you. By listening to others, you allow yourself to experience these moments regularly. We all love overcoming that moment when the impossible becomes possible. We need to hear more of these.

This Week’s Final Thought

Listening to others’ stories isn’t just about them—it’s also about you. It’s a reciprocal act where the listener and the storyteller gain something valuable. A person’s emotional state is derived from their previous experiences. We sometimes misunderstand a current situation because we do not know its story. Ask them their story when you sense something greater is going on. This moment could be the moment when another great story begins.

Proverbs 27:19, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

November 14, 2023November 11, 2023

The Next Chapter of Stories to Tell

Each one of us has stories to tell. We are a collection of great stories waiting to be told. It is our choice to write these stories or leave them untold. Throughout our lives, we experience challenges, and each represents an opportunity to become a victim of our circumstances or the author of a new chapter.

God never said the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile. – Max Lucado

CHARACTERS

Let’s take a minute to understand the characters of our stories. There is the Protagonist and the Antagonist; neither are you. You are the object of the story. The Protagonist is Christ, and the Antagonist is Satan. The fairyland is a broken world called Earth. Throughout our lives, we experience the invasion of this broken world. Satan commands that invasion. He has several ways of attacking, none of which are head-on. He is the master of deception. Satan does not speak in lies but half-truths. He is good at manipulating us into situations that appear to be self-inflicted wounds or intentional violence perpetuated by another. Seldom does he show his face. He is a creature of darkness.

1 John 4:1, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

The Protagonist, Christ, is just the opposite. Christ is a creature of the light. He is the white knight who swoops in at just the right moment to save the day. Christ speaks the truth even when the truth seems counterintuitive. He acknowledges that we are not perfect and sometimes screw up, but he doesn’t hold that against us. He doesn’t dwell on the past but helps us visualize the future. The future is triumph and overcoming, filled with hope, compassion, and love.

John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

Where do you and I come into this story? We are the object of the Protagonist’s love. You and I represent the storyline. God created us to glorify Him, explicitly created for a unique purpose in His kingdom. The Antagonist’s job is to derail that purpose.

THE PLOT LINE

Plot lines are as varied as individuals are unique. We all have a line distinguished by time that flows from our birth into eternity. We are given specific skills, traits, passions, relationships, and opportunities along this line. The Antagonist’s job is to disrupt that flow. The Protagonist’s job is for us to experience the fullness of the path He has set before us. We have choices in this story. We make decisions that affect the outcome.

Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Now, at points upon this line, we have conflict. I have learned that you must look closely at the character development to understand the conflict better. As I have said, Satan never comes at you head-on; he sneaks in little by little until the moment is right. The conflict we experience at the moment can almost always be traced back to the small decisions we made in the past. That is one way the Antagonist rationalizes the conflict; it seems like the natural progression of events. There is no reason to involve the Protagonist, at least not until you are desperate.

Acts 16:31, “And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

CONFLICT

Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitudes toward life. The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it. – Chuck Swindoll

Conflict is any point in which life does not go as planned. We experience minor conflicts, deal with them, and move on. There are great conflicts that leave scares that last. We’re going to talk about the big ones. These are conflicts that make us question our existence and our future. They are the conflicts that keep us up at night and on edge during the day; they crescendo to a deafening roar with a force we can not repel. They make us wonder if the Protagonist lied. At this point, we choose to be a victim of our circumstance and allow the conflict to fester and infect us, or we see it as the genesis of another great story.

Philippians 1:6, “And I am sure of this that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

That is a tough decision at the moment. It is a decision to give up or fight on. Does the white knight still exist? Does Christ care about me? Is the Antagonist too strong? Have I fallen too far?

THE OVERCOMING

Every great story has this dynamic, over-the-top, come-from-behind big finish. When there seems to be little or no hope, the Protagonist takes control. Sometimes, it is good for us to experience conflict. It is a teaching tool. But God will never give us more than we can handle. The situation is never outside of His control. The greater the crescendo, the higher the wave, the bigger the finish. It is one of the many ways God shows His love for us. He shows us His glory. The thrill and excitement of the finish make us forget the pain of the conflict. It changes the story from defeat to victory. We must choose to let Him take control. We are not the Protagonist; we are the object of His love.

THE LEGACY

Luke 12:8, “And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God,”

All the stories of your life leave a legacy. It can be a legacy of overcoming or victimhood. The great stories are retold over and over. They are not only retold by the living but by the Angels themselves. Everyone loves a good story. When conflict strikes, and it will, what will your response be? Will you consider it an opportunity to write one of the greatest stories ever told, or are you a victim of your circumstances? What will your book look like on God’s shelf of life? It is thick and worn from much use, or more like a travel brochure that fell between the cushions on the couch. We have a choice; don’t let Satan ruin your book of life.