Understanding Myself.

Understanding myself; evolving from information to wisdom. Like many Christians, I struggle with obedience. I have gotten to a place where I don’t struggle with the big decisions, but I struggle with the everyday reactions to meaningless situations. I become emotionally highjacked by simple events. Things that I can stand back and say to myself, this is meaningless; it has no bearing on my life or my salvation; it’s just wrong; the wrongness is a value judgment on my behalf.

I go back to Paul’s passage in Romans 7:15-20, one of the most grammatically challenging passages in the Bible, but its message is something we all can relate to.

Paul says, “I do not understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I do not do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. When I do the thing I do not want to do, it shows me that the Law is right and good. So, I am not doing it. Sin living in me is doing it. I know there is nothing good in me, that is, in my flesh. For I want to do good but I do not. I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I am always doing the sinful things I do not want to do. If I am always doing the very thing I do not want to do, it means I am no longer the one who does it. It is a sin that lives in me.”

Struggling with Repetitive Sin

We all struggle with sin. It is inherent within us to stray from God. The lure of the world is ever-present. That lure is not always selfish in origin; sometimes, it disguises itself as righteous indignation. We internalize our behavior as a way of making it more palatable. Sin finds a way of making us think that being right is better than doing right. Once being right is more important, we fail. We fail repeatedly, always wanting to improve but never quite getting there.

1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

The genesis of this thinking comes from a new project a friend and I are undertaking. As we grow older and watch our parents grow older, we want to avoid the pitfalls of aging. I don’t want to become that grumpy older man that people avoid. I want to be light in the darkness. As the saying goes, growing old is not for sissies. As we age past sixty, we realize we are slowly losing control of our everyday life. This loss of control can be frustrating.

So, my friend and I came up with a list of attributes that older people need to become aware of as they age. This list isn’t about how to live healthier or happier; it is about how to interact more positively with younger people who may not realize what you are going through. We then applied Biblical teaching to each attribute. This project was a self-improvement project, not an educational project aimed at others.

Understanding: Converting Information to Knowledge

Proverbs 17:27 – “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.”

The problem that came to light is that even knowing the issues, I still fall short. I struggle to convert information into knowledge, expecting it to become wisdom someday. I live my life like it is just information. Converting information to knowledge requires contextualization, evaluation, application, and reflection. We can not accomplish this in the rearview mirror; it must be forward-thinking.

I do not know myself; I don’t want to move my sin underground away from prying eyes, thinking sinful thoughts while responding with “Bless you.”  I want to turn away from sin altogether. Paul and I have a common problem. We know what to do; we don’t always do it.

The first step is engaging actively with Biblical concepts through discussions, teaching, or hands-on practice. Converting information to knowledge is active, not passive. Knowing something doesn’t mean you understand it and can apply it. In my case, I need to put our list of attributes into action and reinforce that action with discussions and introspection. We can not accomplish this in a vacuum.

Understanding: Converting Knowledge to Wisdom

Ecclesiastes 7:19 – “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.”

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”- Charles Spurgeon.

It gets trickier to change knowledge into wisdom. Wisdom requires time and experience. Wisdom comes from the repetitive practice of trial and error. It is about getting knocked down and getting back up repeatedly. We need to use each opportunity to teach us something new. You start to get a deeper understanding and recognize patterns. There becomes this interconnectedness between the existing state and the desired state of our being. We develop more empathy and emotional intelligence, not just for our being but the being of others. We can’t change others without first changing ourselves.

Final Thought

Paul was more extraordinary than I could ever hope to be, and he still struggled. I can not expect to experience anything different. What Paul did was constantly push back against worldly traits. He never conquered his sin, but he didn’t give in either. He battled it every day. I can not ask myself anything more than that.

James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”

Wise, Foolish, and Evil

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, there are three types of people: wise, foolish, and evil. Every morning, I read from Regi Campell’s Radial Wisdom. It is radical mainly because it draws life lessons from scripture and provides a pragmatic application that creates action that day. On several days, Regi writes about Dr. Henry Cloud and his book, Necessary Endings. The fact that Regi hits this subject more than once made it stick.

Proverbs 9:10-12, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding, for through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."

Wise

Wise people evaluate their experiences, learn lessons, and apply them. As learners, they regularly humble themselves, own their mistakes, and look for ways to do better next time.

One of my favorite sayings from my dad is; If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. You can only learn from people who know more than you do. Life has never been about you; it is about those God puts in your path. Being wise means you slow down and use what God has given you to reach out to others. Much of what God gives us comes from our association with the people He connects us to.

Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

You can tell if a person possesses wisdom by how they present information.

Characteristics:

Sound Judgment: They make well-considered decisions and exhibit good judgment. They weigh the potential consequences of their actions and choose paths that align with long-term benefits rather than short-term gains.

Empathy and Compassion: Wisdom involves a high degree of empathy. Wise people understand and share the feelings of others, showing compassion and kindness in their interactions.

Humility: Wise individuals are humble, recognizing the limits of their knowledge and remaining open to new ideas and perspectives. They do not boast about their wisdom or look down on others.

High Emotional IQ: They manage their emotions effectively, staying calm and composed even in challenging situations. This emotional stability allows them to think clearly and act rationally.

Adaptability: They are adaptable and flexible, able to adjust their thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances. This ability helps them navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience.

Curiosity and Lifelong Learning: They maintain a curious and open mind, continually seeking knowledge and understanding. They recognize that learning is a lifelong journey.

These are the people you spend time with and learn from. They generally don’t suggest solutions but ask questions about pathways to solutions.

Proverbs 17:10, “A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”

Foolish

A fool does almost the opposite of a wise person in every situation. Fools don’t take feedback or learn from their mistakes. They are full of blame and excuses.

Proverbs 26:1-11, "Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool.
Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.
Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.
Sending a message by the hands of a fool is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison.
Like the useless legs of one who is lame is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool.
Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.
Like an archer who wounds at random is one who hires a fool or any passer-by.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."

The definition of a foolish person is one who does not evaluate their experiences and doesn’t learn from their mistakes. My dad used to say that a mistake is a bad thing that happened to you that you didn’t learn from. It is not a mistake if you learn something important. Foolish people don’t learn from mistakes and are generally defensive when discussing them. They place blame on others and make excuses. They don’t listen, take responsibility for their actions, and see themselves as the victim of their environment. Their life is riddled with mistakes.

Few people are one hundred percent foolish. All of us have our blind spots. We are partially foolish in that we deal wisely with some issues and foolishly with others. Dr. Cloud would advise us to take wisdom from their strength, but in areas of weakness, stop talking. It is always good to help illuminate consequences and set boundaries, but don’t expect change.

Characteristics:

Impulsiveness: Foolish people tend to act on impulse rather than reason. They may rush into actions without thinking them through, driven by immediate desires or emotions.

Stubbornness: They can be rigid and inflexible, unwilling to consider new information or alternative perspectives. This stubbornness can prevent them from learning and growing.

Narrow-Mindedness: They might have a limited perspective, failing to see the bigger picture or consider the interconnectedness of various aspects of life.

Overconfidence: Foolish individuals may have an inflated sense of their knowledge and abilities. They often overestimate their competence and underestimate risks.

Emotional Instability: Foolish people might be prone to emotional outbursts and poor emotional regulation. This emotional instability can result in erratic behavior and strained relationships.

Irresponsibility: Foolish individuals may avoid taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. They might blame others for their mistakes and fail to learn from their experiences.

Short-Term Focus: They often prioritize immediate gratification over long-term benefits. This shortsightedness can lead to decisions that are detrimental in the long run.

Stop talking to foolish people about problems because they aren’t listening anyway.

Proverbs 23:9, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.”

Evil

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that are just plain evil. They have dark hearts. Evil people want to hurt and destroy you, your family, your business, and your church. Your goal with evil people is protection. You can not talk them into or out of anything; they are entirely internally focused. God wants them redeemed, some may be, but leave that to God. Be careful how and when you interact with them until you feel a direct calling from God, not of your own volition.

1 Corinthians 5:11, “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”

Characteristics:

Lack of Empathy: They exhibit a profound inability to empathize with others. They are indifferent to the feelings and suffering of those around them and may even derive pleasure from others’ pain.

Deception: They are frequently deceitful, engaging in lies, manipulation, and betrayal. They use dishonesty as a tool to achieve their evil goals.

Exploitation: They exploit others for personal gain without regard for the well-being of those they exploit. This exploitation can be financial, emotional, or physical.

Narcissism: Many evil people exhibit extreme narcissism, believing they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for others’ rights and feelings.

Manipulativeness: They are skilled at manipulating others to achieve their ends. They may use charm, flattery, or intimidation to control and dominate those around them.

Parasitic Behavior: They often live off the efforts and resources of others, contributing little or nothing and taking advantage of others’ hard work and generosity.

Moral Disregard: Evil individuals often blatantly disregard moral and ethical standards. They do not adhere to societal norms of right and wrong and act according to their self-serving principles.

Aggressiveness: They are often aggressive and prone to violence. Their aggression can be physical, verbal, or psychological, and they use it to dominate and intimidate others.

Lack of Remorse: They do not feel guilt or remorse for their harmful actions. No matter how destructive, they may rationalize their behavior or feel justified.

Psalm 14:1, “They are corrupt, their deeds are vile, there is no one who does good,”

Don’t walk away from these people; run, for these people will rain evil upon you.

The Key

Surround yourself with wise people who can help you achieve God’s purpose in your life. Don’t spend time with the foolish. They will waste your time and divert you from a meaningful pursuit of God’s plan. Foolish people are time consumers. Evil people will always exist. Be quick to identify them and move them out of your life.

Most importantly, pray for everyone. You have no idea how God works in their lives and what plans God has for them.

There is no Neutral

Jeremiah 9:23, “This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches.”

Pride

Pride is a high or inordinate opinion of one’s dignity, importance, merit, or superiority; Pride is the root of most sin. Pride is the catalyst that starts the reaction. Pride is the insidious emotion that lurks behind most arguments and hurt feelings. Pride deprives us of knowledge, wisdom, friendship, and self-respect.

Proverbs 13:10, “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

In his book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said: “According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind… it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.”

James 1:14–15, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.”

All of us have heard Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” When we unleash our inner desires unchecked, we know that bad things happen. We say things and do things that we regret even when we are right. We look back and feel a sense of humiliation at our actions. We know we could have handled it better. We know we lost some of the positive impacts of our defense because of our presentation. Yet, we’re considered arrogant and overbearing instead of being thought of as right.

We live in a competitive world where our image is important. “Perception is reality” is almost the tagline of most lives. The idea of faking it until you make it is supposed to motivate us to stretch our abilities. We are constantly marketing ourselves to others around us.

We want to walk the fine line between seeing ourselves as made in the image of God, yet a descendant of the Garden of Eden. We do not wish to diminish who God created, but we understand we are flawed. So we oscillate between Pride in who God made us be and humility in who we are. And then there is everyone else; who are they compared to me?

Humility

The Christian attribute that counters pride is humility. Humility is not weakness. Humility does hot require us to acquis our position or take a subordinate role. Humility does not allow for hypocrisy. It is not about right and wrong; it is about presentation. The message is the message; it is how you present the message that is important.

Psalm 10:4, “In his pride, the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”

Humility is about bringing God back into the conversation. Our foundation is still the scriptures, and our objective is still to attract people to Christ. Worldly issues will come and go; God’s continence will always prevail.

Jeremiah 50:31, “Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one,” declares the Lord God of hosts, “For your day has come, the time when I will punish you.”

When we engage Christ in our conversations, we become empowered by His compassion and grace. As a result, we will be held in esteem by the creator of the universe.

James 4:10, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Empowerment

How do we empower ourselves through humility? First, we need to have confidence that Christ will not allow us to suffer needlessly. There has to be an inner strength to present ourselves in a Godly way, and God will honor that behavior. Do not let your Pride control your reaction. Look up and not out when engaging in conversation, especially when passion is involved.

Proverbs 27:2, “Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.”

Christ should direct all of your conversations. The Gospel is the foundation of all truth. Any time your actions deviate from Gospel teaching, you have shut God out. The way to overcome Pride is to bring Christ back into your conversations.

Jeremiah 9:24, “But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!.”