I have had a few tenuous days. At times I become\nhypersensitive. I let small things become big things in my mind. Like a\npetulant child, I stamp my feet and demand attention. I hold my breath until my\nface turns blue, somehow thinking others will stop me. Mostly it entertains the\npeople around me as they await the body to overcome my silliness with its\nnatural desire to survive. Today, pure\njoy has filled my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do we transition from self-centered hypersensitivity to\npure joy? Let me tell you about my journey. It started a few days ago when I\nfelt slighted. The curious thing about this act of betrayal is that the person\nI perceived slighted me, had no idea of the event. You see, it wasn’t a\nbetrayal, it wasn’t even an oversight, it was a logical decision. But I took\noffense. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Takeoff<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, because I see myself as a good guy, I wasn’t going to\ndraw attention to the offense. Really, why would I air my concern, talk it out,\nrealize my stupidity, and apologize? That doesn’t seem Godly. No, I\ninternalized it. I got whiny and selfish and self-centered. I prayed a lot, I\nhiked a lot, and I didn’t sleep much. I wrote 2,314 words trying to understand\nit. Emotions are peculiar things; they defy logic. You can absolutely know something\nis right or wrong, yet feel the opposite. I know my place in the universe, yet\nI keep getting lost. I feel God’s presence; I can almost feel his touch, but my\ngarbled inner thoughts are what I hear. \nAs I said, I’m an ordinary all-American good guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This quote ricochet through my mind \u201c\u201cDon\u2019t ruin other\npeople\u2019s happiness just because you can\u2019t find your own.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Journey<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The way I distract myself is to throw myself into a project.\nThis project gives my mind something to do besides vent. It puts distance\nbetween me and the problem. The project I launched into was a project for the\nvery same person whom I thought had slighted me. You see, my father gave me an\noverwhelming sense of commitment. You say you are going to do something, you do\nit, end of the story. I don’t know if you noticed, but I am a really good guy,\nso despite the slight, I will keep my commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is at this point God said, “Thank you for shutting\nup; now I can talk.” You see, everything I had done up to this point was\nto explain to God my righteousness. I was selling God from my point of view.\nRemember, I am the good guy in this story. I am the offended party. I deserve\nrestitution. Job and I had a long talk about this and concluded I was right to\nfeel offended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Galatians 6:4<\/strong> \u201cLet each one examine his own work.\nThen he can take pride in himself and not compare himself with someone else. \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n I needed the official company name to finish the project, so\nI went to my friend’s website to find it. What I found was the friend I dearly\nlove. They have this incredible way of writing that shows the love of God that\nis beyond description. At that moment, God settled me down and spoke to me. He\ntook the anxiety, fear, self-centeredness, and turned it to joy. I was\ntransformed in a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n