A Testimony to Anger

This is a testimony to anger and a path to a better life. This post is my personal journey with anger, from being consumed by it to finding love instead. I used to be fiercely angry, aimless, and dangerous. Picture an energized metal ball bouncing unpredictably through the lives of others. That was me—without direction, without control. My anger lost its origin over time; there was a trigger once, but it faded, leaving behind only a lingering sense of rage. It became my identity. I know this because I lived it throughout my teenage years and early adulthood. My anger was pervasive, coloring everything I saw and did. I couldn’t satisfy it; it constantly craved more fuel, whether it was a perceived slight, a sideways glance, or a hint of condescension.

Proverbs 29:11, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."

Others tried to offer assistance, but I stubbornly refused to listen. In my mind, the problem wasn’t my anger; it was everyone else’s foolishness. I believed it was their issue to deal with, not mine. Reconciling with the root cause of my anger seemed futile because it had long ceased to exist. My expression of frustration wasn’t always through overt anger; it mostly manifested as sarcasm, skepticism, or a tendency to take the opposite stance.

“To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious is brutish; and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of devils; but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine.” – Isaac Watts.

What Changed

My job required me to interface with construction workers. I was visiting a job site when a Control Foreman took me aside. We walked over to his pickup truck. He opened the passenger side door and then the glove compartment. After which, he pulled out a silver revolver, not to threaten me or try to intimidate me; he just made a statement. He told me I was an adult, and if I couldn’t find a way to control my anger, one of these would be my end. Someone could be desperate enough to do the unthinkable. I was angry, not stupid; I understood. I had to change.

Ecclesiastes 7:9, "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."

The transformation was gradual, spanning over many years. Initially, I didn’t focus on suppressing my anger but rather on controlling how I expressed it. Despite the turmoil within, I managed to hold back the words that would have otherwise poured out in frustration. Yet, this approach felt draining and unsustainable. I knew there had to be a more effective solution.

Turning to the Bible was a decision born out of necessity rather than religious fervor. Though I had been baptized in my youth, my understanding of its teachings was minimal. My intention wasn’t to seek salvation but rather to find a practical solution to my inner turmoil. I committed to reading its cover every year for eight years, drawn to its wealth of wisdom on navigating life (Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, for example). Even if Jesus were merely a fictional character, the advice attributed to him was undeniably thought-provoking and insightful.

Matthew 5:22, "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment."

What Really Changed

The actual testimony to my anger transformation started slowly with a book by Lee Strobel entitled “The Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus.” Strobel methodically goes through the historical test used to validate any ancient text. These are the same criteria used on all historical documents to validate the authenticity of their writing. Lee Strobel was an atheistic former legal editor of the Chicago Tribune. He challenged a dozen experts with doctorates from schools like Cambridge, Princeton, and Brandeis concerning their evidence concerning the New Testament. He concluded that the New Testament was accurate and historically true. Christ walked the face of the earth. His death and resurrection happened. The miracles were not make-believe.

Now I had a decision to make. What is my response if everything written in the New Testament is historically true and Jesus did what is written to have done? It was one of the watershed moments in my life. I needed to go to church. I needed the input of others to understand my new revelation better.

What is Still Changing

Colossians 1:16, "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."

The change that is still going on in my life is that I now understand that God cares for me as an individual, not as part of a collective whole. He created me uniquely and specifically for the purpose He has for me. His will can not be denied or thwarted. I do not have to defend myself; He will do it for me. He has ultimate control. People do not offend me; they offend Him and His creation.

Ephesians 4:26,  “In your anger do not sin"

Even now, the lingering testament to my struggle with anger is my persistent quest for control. This misplaced desire often leads to frustration, igniting the familiar flame of anger within me. I’ve come to recognize that this aspect of my personality is part of how God has designed me. However, I’ve also gained insight into the purpose and meaning behind my anger. It serves as a signal, indicating when I’ve strayed from God’s intended path for my life. In those moments, I take a deep breath, seek forgiveness through prayer, and endeavor to realign myself with His will. Only by surrendering to His purpose can I truly find peace within.

For those of you who struggle with anger, I pray that God gives you the courage to surrender to His will and reap the peace that comes with that surrender.

Ephesians 1:4-6, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."