A Truer Version of Ourselves

I had the pleasure this last weekend to volunteer my time serving at a women’s conference put on by Deepwater Women. Deepwater Women is an impressive organization run by Donna Beverly, Patti Gordon, and Amy Consoli, covering our deeper identity with Christ, growing a deeper intimacy with Him, and creating a more profound impact because of Him. Amy made a statement that grabbed me. “We are being remade into a truer image ourselves.” That sentence screamed at me. It summed up my struggle. As I move from who I made myself into being, toward what God made me, I am transforming into the actual person that God has always wanted me to be. What an incredible thought.

Jeremiah 31:3 “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

We struggle for our identity, and yet it is already within us, we need to find it. Years ago, I wanted to hike the Estelle Mine Train trail in northeast Georgia. I wanted to travel it because it followed the route of an old narrow gauge mine train that when from Pigeon Mountain, through seven tunnels, to what was once Estelle Georgia. I thought it would be neat to hike the tunnels. Once on the trail, I started to realize that this “right of way” hadn’t been used since 1924. The tunnels shrouded by time had their entrances partially covered by rock slides and overgrowth. Finding the tunnels took some effort and determination. I had a map, and I had the stories from the internet of the hike. Even with all of that, some were almost impossible to find.

God gives us the map, and He gives us the stories in the Bible, but finding our true self is still hard to achieve. In my case, I try too hard. I feel that God’s actual plan for me is massive and mysterious. It is the grand puzzle that must be solved. To get the prize, I must endure, overcome, remain steadfast, all the superlatives we hear in church. Finding my one true self is the ultimate goal of being a Christian and following Christ. Without sacrifice, it has no value. That’s crazy talk.

Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”

The tough part is to be calm. To be immersed in scripture and in prayer, to listen for God’s voice. It is a whisper in the night. It is the nudge that will not go away and the itch that needs to be scratched. There is a variation of a great quote from CS Lewis that I love: “give me the longing the scent of a flower I have not found, the echo of a tune I have not heard, and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” CS Lewis’ quote ended with “and news from a country I have not yet visited” in place of “and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” The quote I use here came from a Christian work of fiction that I no longer remember and can’t find a reference . I see in my mind a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch as supernatural radiation of pure white light that illuminates everything upon which it falls.

Think of the imagery: the scent of a flower I have not found… the echo of a tune I have not heard…. the struggle we feel finding our true self. The struggle is in the unquenchable desire to be that person. Every fiber of our being longs for it. It is what God made us before we existed. And yet we know it not.

Part of finding and living our purpose is quieting our minds so that we can hear God speak. He gives us all bread crumbs through passion, skills, opportunity, and resources. But to apply all of this to His kingdom takes direction. That direction comes from God through scripture, prayer, and council.

Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

You don’t have to reinvent yourself. It is not a monumental task that takes years to achieve. God has made you to be that person. He has instilled greatness in each of us. But it must be His greatness not ours.