Author: tommestevenson@gmail.com

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The Need to Love and be Loved

1 Corinthians 13 is one of the greatest chapters ever written in the Bible. If you don’t know it, print it and put it on your bathroom mirror. Make it part of the fabric of your life.

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This chapter sums up the struggle of all of human existence; the need to love and be loved. If I looked deeply into the cause of almost all of my human frailty, the core would be either not loving enough or the feeling of not being loved enough. Our ego, our self-esteem, our insecurities, our self-image are all rooted in this one concept. How healthy is our perception of being loved?

John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I want a love so great that I would die for it. I want it to envelop me, protect me, fulfill me, be the very air that I breathe. I want it to be all-consuming and overwhelming. I want it to be grand and incredible and scary. I want it to stop my brain and hold me in awe. I want this kind of love. I want it because that is who God made us be.

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

It’s crazy, a simple statement, seven words, and I stop. I want to love others as God loved me. But, people are not kind or understanding. They think, say, and do weird things. They don’t love me the way I want to be loved. And yet this is who I am to God, and He still loves me.

Romans 8:38-39 “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Knowing this full well, why do I struggle? Why is the concept of loving others and being loved so precarious? Why is it so hard?

Because we live in a fallen world, we live in an environment that never will be perfect. So many people do not know Christ and do not know the real source of love. We interact with these people every day; they twist and corrupt God’s concept of love. We are immersed in a media bombardment of the world’s view of love. It is no wonder we get confused. It is no wonder that most of the world feels unfulfilled.

I am genuinely loved. I mean that. I have friends that love me, a family that loves me, and a God that thinks I hung the moon. But I sometimes struggle with this. I sometimes feel alone, isolated,  and unloved. It’s part of being human. The way out for me is not to fixate on the love I am receiving, but increasing the love I give away. Even when I feel unloved, there is joy in loving. In loving others, I start to feel loved myself.

2 Thessalonians 3:5, “May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”

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If you want a better story, give the pen to a better author.

Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

I was thinking about the New Year. What was the message I wanted to give myself about how to proceed? Man, I thought of the processes I’ve used in the past to both identify areas of improvement and to correct them. I questioned what needed improvement versus what would be nice to improve. What had kingdom impact and what had earthly impact? We all have limited resources. The most precious resource God has given us is time. Waste time and you can never get it back. Time isn’t the only resource you need if you are going to implement lasting change. It may not even be the critical path. How do I focus my effort in 2020?

Paul Bickford, the Youth Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, GA, started his sermon with this scripture:

Psalms 139:13-16,

“Certainly, you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother’s womb.

I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. You knew me thoroughly;

my bones were not hidden from you, when I was made in secret and sewed together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. All the days ordained for me were recorded in your scroll before one of them came into existence.”

This scripture refocused my thinking. Instead of trying to “fix” me, maybe I should just try to be who God made me? I’ve always, mostly, attempted to focus on who God made me, but somehow it still got back to what I could or should do to get there. I focus so much on my faults and short-comings, that I lose track of the goal. The goal never was to be perfect. I shouldn’t focus my energy on being flawless, which leads to stress and discontentment.  I believe it is one of the primary reasons people do not keep their New Years’ resolutions. When you focus on one flaw, you start seeing all of them, it becomes disheartening.

Reread the scripture above. “Certainly, you made my mind and heart;” God made me intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Every detail of who I am he specifically created. “You knew me thoroughly;” Knowing me is more than seeing me or touching me. It is intimate knowledge of my hopes, and fears, and dreams. He knows why I yearn for something even when I don’t know. He knows why I have a passion for certain things and have no interest in others. My perceive flaws are not things that are wrong with me, but a focus on the wrong issues.

Let me see if I can give you an example from my life. As I age, staying in any reasonable physical shape becomes incredibly elusive. Every day that I live, my physiological capacity decreases. It is a slight decrease on a daily or weekly basis, but it is there. Taking a couple of weeks off will mean several weeks of catching up. It is endless and exhausting. Why do I do it? I don’t have a fixation of conditioning. I do have an obsession for living my purpose. I need to be in the physical shape required to live on purpose. If I exercised out of vanity, I’d quit. That train has left the station. The body will fade, but the Kingdom’s impact lasts for eternity. As long as I get up in the morning, God has a purpose for me to accomplish. As long as God finds me useful, I need to be prepared to respond.

Psalm 39:4-5, “LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. “Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath.”

As you think about things you want to change about yourself in 2020, think about why. Are you trying to improve a perceived flaw, or does it have an actual Kingdom impact? A good friend, Patti Gordon of Deepwater Women, has a tag line on her email that says, “Chase what matters.” Are you going to spend 2020 working what matters, or are you going to waste another year shoring up the facade of a crumbling building?

Isaiah 51:6, “Lift up your eyes to the sky, Then look to the earth beneath; For the sky will vanish like smoke, And the earth will wear out like a garment And its inhabitants will die in like manner; But My salvation will be forever, And My righteousness will not wane.”

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Sharing the Richness of our Lives

Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

This is the time of the year when we become introspective. Thanksgiving allows us to think of all of the things for which we are thankful. Christmas is the backdrop for showing love and appreciation. For all who have touched our lives and those we do not know but feel compassion for their plight. New Year’s follows Christmas, a time of renewal. We commit to being a better version of ourselves. We are thankful, appreciative, and fortunate — not all of us.

This rejuvenation brings to light one of my rocks. It is a story bringing my attention to the importance of dwelling on the richness of my life. It reminds me of how important it was sharing that richness with others.

Atlanta has a spring art festival in Piedmont Park. It is a spectacular event both for its content and its setting. The Dogwood Art Festival is in the spring when the dogwoods are in full bloom. Although it runs the entire weekend, I go down early Friday. I like that time; I can talk with the artist as they set up their booths before the crowds arrive. These folks are incredibly skilled. They have an absolute passion for what they do. This passion is reflected both in the quality of their work and the prices they charge. The Dogwood Art Festival is not a mom and pop affair.

This particular year the weather was incredible. Azure blue skies, cumulus clouds that remind you of cotton candy. The gorgeous white and pink dogwoods in full bloom. The temperature was almost non-existent, feeling neither cold or warm, absolutely picturesque. The vendors were excited to show their creations. It was a joy to be alive.

After I had spent some time walking around, I settled comfortably on a picnic bench, not far from vendor row, to watch people. I like watching people. It fills me with curiosity. I was also growing hungry and trying to decide what cardiac inducing meal I was going to eat. It is apparently in the by-laws of art festivals management that healthy food was taboo.

A woman sat down on the bench across that table from me. She was late middle age, conservatively dressed, unremarkable in many ways. The kind of person you might see in a crowd without ever really seeing her, that perfect blend of human camouflage. She said, “I could live a year on the price of one of these things.” Without looking, I agreed.

Psalm 9:1, “I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.”

God has this incredible way of introducing me to the exact person with whom He wants me to engage. One thing led to another, and we started talking. I bought her lunch. One great lady, she was living in a half-way house after being released from prison. Life had been long and hard and disappointing. That once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that could have taken her life in a different direction was always just outside her reach. The hurdle in her life was guys. They came into her life at the wrong time with mischievous intent.

There was a determination and grit in her outlook. She had a vision, but no plan to get there. It wasn’t a grand vision. It was a vision to become normal. You know, 40-hour workweek, home, friends and maybe family. Everyone has a unicorn; this was hers. If anything, I am a guy with a plan. Our meeting wasn’t serendipity or coincidence; it was part of God’s plan for her.

We started talking about God’s plan for her life. God’s plan was for her to prosper. But she had to be willing to surrender her plan for His. He would be faithful in His promise if she would. The first step was to find a church that had good scripture-based teaching. Then she needed to join an accountability group within that church that she could trust. We talked for about 90 minutes. She was positive, engaged, and asked questions.

The transformation I saw was that she sat more upright. Her face softened. Her eyes were brighter, more focused. She stated that she knew her plan didn’t work. She had heard the message of Christ in prison. It was something she felt she needed to look into further, but she always put it off. She knew of a church that had members she knew. They came by the half-way house. She liked them; they weren’t pushy.

Others plowed the field and planted the seeds in her life; I was fertilizer (be nice; it’s a metaphor). The harvest will come.

1 Corinthians 9:10 “Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest.”

Did she find her unicorn? I don’t know. I do know that God wants me to not only be obedient for the sake of others, but to share the bounty of His love for me with them.

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It may seem Strange, but it is Quite Amazing

Every once in awhile, I think about how I got here. Not the incredible odds of being born in one of the most abundant countries on the face of the earth. How did I get here, where I am sitting right now? It may seem a strange thought, but it is quite amazing.

 In 1966 I was a sixteen-year-old high school student living in Marseilles, a very small Midwest town. I was not extraordinary in any sense of the word. I spent very little time thinking about my future, that is the future after high school. I had a lot of thoughts about high school. I knew about jobs; I had already had a few of those. The concept of a career was foreign. So how did that kid, end up here?

 If you had told me that I not only would graduate from college, but I would do it more than once. I would have told you I’m not bright enough for that. How about travel? Not only will you leave Marseilles and the state, but you will also leave the country. You will log over 3 million miles on airlines alone, covering six continents. Before it is over, you will have hundreds of people reporting to you. You will work for big companies and even start some of your own.

You will never live in Marseilles again. I would have been terrified and sadden, that last part especially. It was my world, and to this day, my home. To even write it forty years later, saddens me. 

 God sent me on a journey. Although I felt in control most of my life, I wasn’t. Oh, I could make decisions. I could choose not to do what was best for me, and believe me; I did at times. But interestingly, all that wandering in the wilderness still brought me to right here.

Job 12:24, “He deprives of intelligence the chiefs of the earth’s people And makes them wander in a pathless waste.”

Volume One: “The Pagan Era”

There are three volumes to the book of my life. The first is “The Pagan Era.” Although I was baptized around nine years old at the Marseilles Baptist Church, I don’t think it took. The first third of my life was covered by doing the thing in front of me. It got me through adolescence into young adulthood. God was there, someone had to have created all of this, but after He finished, he was done. He wasn’t a micromanager. He put it all in play and then sat back and watched. How else could you explain all the dysfunctionality in the world?

 Volume Two: “The Age of Enlightenment”

1 Corinthians 1:27, “but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,”

Volume One ended with a divorce and a pacemaker, a stone in my memorial. We experience the natural repercussion of our actions. Now is the start of Volume Two, I call “The Age of Enlightenment.” I turned back to my roots. I started to read the Bible. I didn’t go to church at this time. Church people seemed hypocritical in their approach to others outside the church. They always seemed to know what was best for everyone else.

 The revelation was that the Bible made sense at a very practical level. God created us to function in a given way. The Bible laid that out nicely. I started to see that if I could be a perfect version of myself, my life would improve. It might not improve materially, because my life was pretty good materially, I would improve emotionally. My life was an emotional desert. With all of my worldly success, I felt alone and anxious. There still was a void where my passion should have been. I wasn’t living for anything in particular. I just was. 

 The image I have of my life at this point comes from a science fiction movie. The astronaut escapes from his rapidly disintegrating ship. His capsule is thrust out into the vast black void of outer space; it is endless and ominous. He is alive with limited life support and no destination. Drifting aimlessly until it all ends. 

I came  to the understanding that God loved me intimately. So much so, that He died on the cross for my sins. He wanted a personal relationship with me. But to what end?

 After reading the Bible through every year for several years, I decided I needed another point of view. I started going to church. I went to several of them until I found a Bible teaching, non-denominational church that I enjoyed. They taught directly out of the Bible, no condemnation, just truth. Some of that truth was hard to swallow, but I was here to learn. September 11 put a temporary end to my travels, so I joined a local Bible study geared to the technology industry.

Volume Three “The Age of Truth”

 1 John 3:17, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”

Interaction with other Christians breathed life into my existence. This started Volume Three, “The Age of Truth”. Henri Poincare said, “Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house, and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.” This idea is my spiritual revelation. My head was full of facts, but that didn’t make me a Christian. It made me a good guy with good intentions. 

 For the very first time in my life, I understood it was never about me. Everything I had, have, or will have, is to be shared with others. My job, my time, my money all belonged to God for His use. I could never be good enough to earn my reward. I should then spend the rest of my life rewarding others.

 Serving others was insanely freeing. There was a purpose. It was surprising how quickly I embraced this idea. There was an explosion in my consciousness. All of a sudden, I got it. 

 At one point, I gave away everything, and I do mean everything. It became one of the stones in my memorial. I would not recommend it without intense prayer and competent counsel. It is a big ask, and God reserves it for the most important of assignments. I just happen to have one. God rewarded me with a sense of incredible peace. He has also done a great job of restoring me. It wasn’t just a stone; it has become my Gibraltar. 

We are all on a journey. The question is, “Where are you going?” God knows the answer if you will allow Him to direct your steps. My experience is; that it is freeing at a level that few experience. To be “Christ Like” is our purpose, our passion is how we live our purpose.

Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

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Surrendering Yourself to Become Greater

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I would like you to do something for me. I want you to ponder the great adventure that God has in store for you. It might be a conversation with an incredible individual that will change your life but never see again. Or it might be packing your bags for an improbable journey to accomplish something unimaginable. What I want you to conjure up is the impossible, that moment when God takes your breath away. A moment so big, so audacious that it could never happen. I want you to experience what it is like when you stop limiting God by your self-awareness. When you say to yourself, “it could never be,” you have arrived at the cusp of what your life was meant to be. 

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I was reading today about becoming the person God made us be. The challenge was in how we can be more of ourselves by surrendering ourselves entirely to God’s will. Surrendering ourselves was to deny ourselves, so I thought. Greg Ogden, in his book “The Essential Commandment,” argues that to be the person God wants us to be, we must first include Him. Including Him is the surrendering part. God gave us all of these attributes that make us unique and special. We can not unlock our true potential without His key. He is the magic sauce that makes the flavor of who are come alive.  

Paul was not a different person after his encounter with Jesus. He was a better version of himself. All the attributes God gave Paul at birth were rechannelled and made stronger. His personality did not transform; it magnified. He became a force with which to be reckoned. 

We put limits on ourselves based on a lot of biased, worldly input, much of that input is well-meaning but limiting. At a very early age, we start to define ourselves based on that world perception. By the time we are in our adolescence, we have crafted a comfortable expectation. We don’t know where we are going or how to get there, but we do know our limitations. We are not consciously aware of most of these. Many of these subtly implied limitations direct our decisions. 

Romans 8:31, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” 

By submitting ourselves to God’s will, we negate a lot of this influence. We start to view our potential through a new set of lenses. If we are in the center of God’s plan for our lives, the improbable not only becomes possible, it becomes absolute. God will not transform you from someone who can’t carry a tune to a concert pianist. He could, but probably won’t. What He will do is magnify your talents. He will guide you in ways you had not imagined. He will stretch you, challenge you, and make you stronger. The fear of being outside the artificial fences the world has put around us will be gone.

He will take your breath away. He will show you potential you never thought you had. In all of this, He will smile. He will see you come alive. 

Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

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What is in Your Story?

Charlie Paparelli inspired this post; he writes an interesting blog. The one today talked about the impact storytelling has on conveying information. People understand stories and can remember them. I believe that is why Jesus told so many parables. People could relate to the story, and the sequence was easy to remember and retell.

What is the story I want to tell?

Our legacy, yours and mine, is not in what we accumulate or our accomplishments. Our legacy is the lives we touch. The moments that can not be replaced with words. There is an image I always get when I think of great stories. It is the image of an emotional tsunami that washes over me in a towering wave that takes my breath away. It is that moment when my brain turns off because of the emotional crescendo; I forget to breathe — a cacophony of visceral chemical reactions and uncontrolled emotions. Man, I hate those moments. I’m a guy who likes to be in control of his feelings. It is in the man by-laws. Those moments sweep over me, high jacking my consciousness. They leave me in awe and wonder. They leave me with a sense of joy and fear. Fear that it may never come again. That I will never feel this incredible depth of wonder again; it is a place I want to reside in forever…. It is a piece of Heaven on Earth.

Do I have this kind of story in me?

Have I lived a life that warrants such emotion? I don’t know; my life is my life. It is the only life I know. My shortcomings are not monumental; they’re ordinary, everyday, human frailty. I have always thought of myself, with pride I might add, as the common man. It is what I have aspired to be. A rock, not impressive, but dependable. So, do I have a story worthy of taking your breath away?

Stories have antagonists and protagonists; they have a plot that builds to an impossible situation, and then the climax, a bigger than life, overcoming all odds rescue. Tears and joy and laughter follow the rescue. The great story – The great ending

In my story, the antagonist is me, not the protagonist; you know the one who sweeps in and saves the day. I’m the one who needs saving because of my dastardly ways. I’m the Snidely Whiplash in this Dudley Do-right story.  The protagonist is Christ; the plot is life, and the climax is the cross. The bigger than life, overcoming all odds rescue. It takes my breath away and leaves me in awe. I do have a story; it is the story of unspeakable betrayal. It is a story of unfathomable love. It is the story of greatness unearned but generously given. It is the love story that transcends all time and space. It is the ultimate happy ending. It is the story that lives in all of us. We have to recognize it and tell it.

I am not just part of a more significant story. I’m not a walk-on or bit player who shows up on filming day in answer to a casting call. I’m not here to fill in the background to make the story more “real.” I have a specific role with a unique script and a story to tell. God sees me center stage, in bright lights, the only character on stage. My story is unique, compelling, and captivating. It is the story of redemption.

I’m George Baily in a Wonderful Life; I’m Jean Valjean in Les Misérables. I am Peter. I am Paul. I am every man that ever fell and was lifted back up by Christ’s love. It is mine, and it’s worth telling.

Psalm 78:4 “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.”

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A Biblical Perspective of Planning

I am a plan your work, work your plan type of guy. The value of planning was instilled into me through success and failure. Success frequently followed a well thought out plan, and failure is the natural destination of poor planning. Unmitigated disaster is the contemporary of no planning. You will find the two of them huddled together in a cardboard box under the overpass.

I start every worthwhile endeavor with a written plan. Peter Drucker was famous for saying, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.” A well-written plan is a foundation for change management. Drucker’s statement is a well held secular view, but what about scripture? What does scripture say about planning? The Bible does talk about preparation. Proverbs, in particular, is full of advice on planning.

Proverbs 15:22, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.”

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Luke adds to this in Luke 14:28, “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

First Comes Prayer

Prayer is the first critical step in building a plan. The reason for this is because God already has a plan; we are trying to discover it. A well-known and often quoted verse from Jeremiah states (Jeremiah 29:11), “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” It is there for the discovering. We need to be cautious of getting too cute with our ideas. The Bible also warns us against relying too much on our cleverness.

Proverbs 23:4, “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; do not trust your own cleverness.”

Why? Because God is the author of all things. His view of time and space is dramatically different than ours. He understands the ripple effect of our actions throughout eternity. Here is what He says about His view of the future (Isaiah 55:8), “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” What does God say about our knowledge of the future? Proverb 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” We know nada, zip, zilch about tomorrow. We write elaborate mathematical models and consult historical trends, but in the end, forecasting the future is an educated guess at best. God has already seen the future.

A Plan is Essential but Imperfect

James 4:13-14 “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

Think of a plan as not a static document, but a journal. It demonstrates and illuminates our thinking. Demonstrates because we document why we thought what we thought. It illuminates by shining a light on both the good and bad of our logic. We start with what we believe to be accurate, and then we modify it as God enlightens us. It gives us a chance to look back at how our thinking has changed. Did we keep the ideas and insights that were good, did we discard poor or inadequate thinking?

One of my experiences is that some people take a great deal of time and effort to create a very workable plan. Then they stick it in a drawer and never look at it again. It was an intellectual exercise with no real meaning. Down the road, when they do not meet expectations, they have lost the guidepost that would have told them to make corrections.

My Conclusion

Having a plan is essential. Discovering the source of that plan is critical. Our goal is not to create a vision of our future. It is to realize the future that God has already created. The plan is the foundation of God’s will in our life. As the seasons of our life change, God will reveal more of His vision for us. As we see more, we can make adjustments to the plan. But to go through life without a plan is folly. Even a poorly written plan is better than no plan.

As we chase our purpose, we need to document our progress so that we can determine what we know and what we need to find out.

Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

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The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

A hard concession to make to myself, as a man, is that love innervates me. Guys are supposed to be more aloof. My father, a great man, instilled in me the identity of a warrior. Not the brawling, fisticuff type of ruffian. But a man with a plan and the tenacity to see it through. That tenacity tended to create silos of emotion. It was a learned skill of compartmentalizing distractions. It was a way to cut through the clutter with a laser focus on achieving a goal. It was about making hard decisions. Winning was beating my ability and expectation. It conjures an image of always moving toward the fight, the fight being an obstacle, or an obstruction, or a challenge.

Somewhere my heart changed. The fight in me grew weary. I started to see the beauty in all of God’s creations. The outdoors that I loved morphed from a place to become physically stronger, to a place to experience creation. It was awe-inspiring, and at times emotionally overwhelming, to see what God had done. It started with the beauty of nature and slowly took over my being.

Colossians 3:14 “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Love binds everything, all our virtues, all our passion, and all of our effort into an unstoppable force for God’s kingdom. If what we are searching for is not rooted in love, then we need to hit the pause button. Paul wrote this eloquent passage to the Corinthians concerning the power of love.

1 Corinthians 13

“1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

You can’t fake it. People will see right through you if you try. You can not seem all loving and caring one moment and distant and cold the next. Your purpose is not just an activity that helps others. It has to be life-changing for both of you. “But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” The echo that remains is love. The feeling of having loved and being loved is the most potent drug I know.

They say your eyes are the window of your soul. The other day I was listening to a speaker at a conference. The first part of the presentation was more how-to and why. The second part was how to apply the learning. There was an astounding transformation of the speaker between the first and second parts.  Her entire body language changed; her tone became softer. She became more relaxed and focused on the audience. Her body tilted toward them as she spoke of life-changing answered prayer. She connected with the people in the room. She had compassion for those who had not experienced what God can honestly do through prayer. It wasn’t just a passion for the topic; it was a love for the audience. She wanted good things for each of them.

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

When you make this connection, you will know God’s passion and purpose for you in life. When you drive toward using your God-given resources to help people experience the love and joy of knowing Christ, then you know you are on the right road. It is not enough that you can be successful in your chosen field; you have to want to be transformational. That is the purpose.

1 Corinthians 2:9 “However, as it is written: What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived — the things God has prepared for those who love him.”

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My Father’s Passing

This post is off topic but important to me.

Last night one of the most influential people in my life passed away. It was my father, he was 93, and he was an absolutely incredible man — one of those once in a century type people. To his last days, he still charmed those to whom he talked, even when his dementia clouded the memory of who they were from his mind.

I don’t want to bore you with my complete admiration of who he was.  I do want to reveal some of his lessons to me. He taught me the most important lesson you should learn about commitment was not keeping it; this was absolute, but when and how to make it in the first place.  If one makes the right commitment, maintaining it is easy. Once you commit, you keep it no matter how high the cost. That is why making it is more important than keeping it. It is in the making that you set the stage for keeping.

He taught me that life was not meant to be fair or just, but there is still a joy to be found. Finding joy in life requires you to look past the pain and disappointment to see the learning and the progress. Falling and failing were part of the process and didn’t define who you are.

Work was a life long endeavor. Finding your passion was critical for sustaining this effort. Passion changed work into joy. It was something in which you took pride. You cannot sustain satisfaction in an endeavor without a passion for it.

I learned that the most crucial thing in life is love. He was not a man to hug or kiss or even say I love you. He was a man who showed it and lived it every day. Actions were the foundation of character, not words. From this man married to my mother for 72 years, I learned a love that was profound and indescribable. That love brings me great pain today. He was my rock and my castle on a hill; he was all that I hoped to be. He made me proud to be his son.

He rode the rails as a migrant worker at 15. He lied about his age and went to war at 17. Without a high school diploma, he passed his college boards and soon graduated a civil engineer. Throughout college, he studied, worked full time as a bartender at night, and supported three kids and a wife — all of this he did with a sense of passion, purpose, and obligation.

He will be greatly missed by me.

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A Truer Version of Ourselves

I had the pleasure this last weekend to volunteer my time serving at a women’s conference put on by Deepwater Women. Deepwater Women is an impressive organization run by Donna Beverly, Patti Gordon, and Amy Consoli, covering our deeper identity with Christ, growing a deeper intimacy with Him, and creating a more profound impact because of Him. Amy made a statement that grabbed me. “We are being remade into a truer image ourselves.” That sentence screamed at me. It summed up my struggle. As I move from who I made myself into being, toward what God made me, I am transforming into the actual person that God has always wanted me to be. What an incredible thought.

Jeremiah 31:3 “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

We struggle for our identity, and yet it is already within us, we need to find it. Years ago, I wanted to hike the Estelle Mine Train trail in northeast Georgia. I wanted to travel it because it followed the route of an old narrow gauge mine train that when from Pigeon Mountain, through seven tunnels, to what was once Estelle Georgia. I thought it would be neat to hike the tunnels. Once on the trail, I started to realize that this “right of way” hadn’t been used since 1924. The tunnels shrouded by time had their entrances partially covered by rock slides and overgrowth. Finding the tunnels took some effort and determination. I had a map, and I had the stories from the internet of the hike. Even with all of that, some were almost impossible to find.

God gives us the map, and He gives us the stories in the Bible, but finding our true self is still hard to achieve. In my case, I try too hard. I feel that God’s actual plan for me is massive and mysterious. It is the grand puzzle that must be solved. To get the prize, I must endure, overcome, remain steadfast, all the superlatives we hear in church. Finding my one true self is the ultimate goal of being a Christian and following Christ. Without sacrifice, it has no value. That’s crazy talk.

Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”

The tough part is to be calm. To be immersed in scripture and in prayer, to listen for God’s voice. It is a whisper in the night. It is the nudge that will not go away and the itch that needs to be scratched. There is a variation of a great quote from CS Lewis that I love: “give me the longing the scent of a flower I have not found, the echo of a tune I have not heard, and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” CS Lewis’ quote ended with “and news from a country I have not yet visited” in place of “and a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch” The quote I use here came from a Christian work of fiction that I no longer remember and can’t find a reference . I see in my mind a grace so powerful it changes all the lives I touch as supernatural radiation of pure white light that illuminates everything upon which it falls.

Think of the imagery: the scent of a flower I have not found… the echo of a tune I have not heard…. the struggle we feel finding our true self. The struggle is in the unquenchable desire to be that person. Every fiber of our being longs for it. It is what God made us before we existed. And yet we know it not.

Part of finding and living our purpose is quieting our minds so that we can hear God speak. He gives us all bread crumbs through passion, skills, opportunity, and resources. But to apply all of this to His kingdom takes direction. That direction comes from God through scripture, prayer, and council.

Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

You don’t have to reinvent yourself. It is not a monumental task that takes years to achieve. God has made you to be that person. He has instilled greatness in each of us. But it must be His greatness not ours.

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