Forgiveness

Psalm 25:6-7, “Lord, remember your great mercy and love. You have shown them to your people for a long time. Don’t remember the sins I committed when I was young. Don’t remember how often I refused to obey you. Remember me because you love me.”

WE HAVE ALL BEEN WOUNDED

When you run into people who create negativity in your life, you can take direct action; you can unfriend them, cancel them, block them, and ignore them. However, you can not run away from yourself; that voice in your head goes everywhere you go. If you allow it, the negativity they created hangs around long after they are gone.

Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

As hard as it is for me to forgive others for their transgression, it is almost impossible for me to forgive my transgression. Somehow I think mine is worse. I can walk away from others, but I can’t walk away from myself.

Why do I stress this? I let other people’s transgression highjack my life. There comes this tipping point where their offense becomes my obsession. Long after the event, I play it over and over in my mind. I try to figure out why it happened, what was my role? I try to understand where it will lead, how do I handle the next interaction?  And the big one, how do I get it across to them how they made me feel? When I am anxious or angry I can not bear God’s fruit in my life.

HEALING STARTS AT HOME

Before I can truly forgive others, I have to understand and accept my forgiveness. I may not have started the transgression; I may not have contributed in any way, but I have my sin. Offenses happen, and they cause real pain that sometimes takes a long time to go away, sometimes a lifetime.  Although I am not a proponent of today’s victim culture, I do understand that we are all victims at one point or another. Forgiveness isn’t about pretending bad things never happened; it is not about forgetting. It is how do we get through the things that do occur.

Colossians 3:13, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

“What consumes your mind is what controls your life.” Anonymous

I wish I knew who said this. It is one of those pearls of wisdom that echo over and over throughout my life. It is one of the go-to thoughts that creep into my head when I let others take control of my thoughts. What consumes your mind controls your life. The more you play that record of transgression over and over, the more control it exercises over your life. We need to find a way of playing a different song. I believe the start of that transition is to understand who I am and what God did for me. A friend of mine refers to himself as a scoundrel; that is the perfect description of myself.

Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.

When I first start absorbing the incredible gift God gave me through His forgiveness of my sin, and I take the time to acknowledge the scoundrel in me, it makes it easier to have compassion for the scoundrel in others. I can’t imagine what my life would look like if God held me accountable for all of my sins. I need God’s forgiveness.

EXTENDING GRACE

Matthew 6: 14-15, “Forgive other people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive the sins of other people, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Forgiveness is not just something that happens to us; forgiveness flows through us. We forgive so that we may be forgiven. I know this is extremely hard at times. Remember, forgiveness is not forgetting; it is not accepting, it is not acquiescing; it releases us to feel compassion and love again. Forgiveness is putting transgressions behind us and moving forward.

Mark 11:25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Forgiveness is not about them; it is about us. It is about us showing God how much His forgiveness means to us; it means so much we will put other people’s transgressions behind us. What consumes our mind will be the love of Christ; what controls our life will be the love of Christ. 

Ephesians 1:7, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”