Jesus saved the life of the adulterous women (John 8:1-30) by challenging those who have no sin to cast the first stone. He redeemed her from her sin. He gave her a new life. But if she was anything like me, she kept sinning, maybe not the same sin, but sinning all the same. How does that dynamic work with redemption, and the continuation as a sinner?

It is so easy for me to become immersed in God’s love. It is easy to see how He cares for me and meets my needs, that I sometimes forget the devastating impact of my sin. My life is not a story of condemnation, but a story of love. The very essence of my relationship with Christ is not my sin, but His love. It defines everything.

Matthew 22:37, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. “

You see, I need His love like a fish needs water. I need to be enveloped in it. It becomes so critical for my existence; I forget it is just as essential as the air I breathe. I am not always aware of oxygen. I can’t see it, but I know it is there and I know I need it. I know what happens when you take it away. But I don’t think about it until it is scarce or absent. Then a sense of panic set in. My mind goes into survival mode, and I fight for my very life. God’s love is like that.

Jerry Bridges said it like this, “God’s unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God’s love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son.

What drives my relationship with Christ is not overcoming my sin, but craving His love. I hate my sin because to stands in the way of my relationship with Him. When I sin, I feel that His love is scarce or absent, and my heart fights for its very life. Separation from God brings in a panic state. That panic comes in the form of fear, anxiety, depression and loneliness.

1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. “

There is a medical condition called a Hiatal Hernia. A Hiatal Hernia is when your stomach bulges up into your chest through an opening in your diaphragm. I know, gross image, I’m sorry. When the tiniest piece of food is caught in this bulge, the patient feels like someone grabbed their throat with both hands and started to squeeze. They have to fight the urge to panic. The truth is that they can breathe just fine, they don’t think they can. They have to consciously tell their diaphragm to keep pumping their lungs; then, they can drink a little water to pass the food into their stomach; it’s over, just like that. Once they understand the dynamics, they can have an episode, and the people sitting across the table from them don’t sense a thing.

The state of sin is like the Hiatal Hernia. The act of sinning is the tiniest piece of food in the hernia. But just like the food doesn’t stop the patient from breathing, the sin does not stop us from being loved by God. The Hiatal Hernia sufferer tells their diaphragm to contract, expanding their lungs, and inhaling oxygen. We, as sinners, must reach out to God, repent of our sin, and experience His love.

Acts 3:19, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, 

In the deepest, darkest moments of my life, I survive solely on the knowledge that the God of the universe loves me unconditionally. God made me in His image, and He adores me. He has a plan for me to prosper. What I am going through may not be His making, but he can use it if I let Him. Evil lurks in every dark corner. It strikes without warning or reason. Some evil is from the enemy; some is from our stupidity. God knows this about the world and the people He has placed in it.

St. Augustine said, “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.

Once I understand the dynamics of God’s love, I can start to control the panic. I repent of my part of any sin that may have happened, and then I breathe in His love. Just like a Hiatal Hernia, there is discomfort I would prefer not to experience; but it is not fatal.

Matthew 3:8, “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. “

tommestevenson@gmail.com

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