Nameless, Unremembered Acts of Kindness

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” – William Wordsworth

“Nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” are these ever little? Maya Angelou said it best in her award-winning book “Why the Caged Bird Sings,” “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” In the future, we have forgotten the tiff or the argument or the strife, but we remember the hurt. Similarly, songs of our youth bring us great joy, not because of the lyrics or tune, but because of the emotion of that time wafting back into our memory. We do not remember who we were with or what we were doing, but we remember how we felt.

John McAlister was one of the great men in my life. I knew him for a very short time through work; he was an older man of about fifty, and I was in my early twenties. He spoke hard truth to me with kindness. I ruthlessly drove to prove myself in everything. I was a go-fast kind of kid. It was never my intention to mistreat others; I didn’t know they were there. I ran over them like a fullback on the two-yard line. John would remind me; to be great, I had to understand and appreciate others around me. They would take me farther than I could bring myself.

Proverbs 11:17,” A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”

Years later, I heard the African proverb “to go fast, go alone: to go far, go together.” and John immediately came to mind. I think of him often, although I cannot recall a single conversation. I do hope I will see him again. John is a permanent tattoo on my heart.

Luke 6:35, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, …”

Today this verse comes to mind, not because I have enemies, but because I have friends I sometimes treat like enemies. Some of my friends are interesting characters, some experience bad days or have strange passions. There are times when my reactions to these oddities are less than loving. Generally, it happens when I am low on emotional energy. As an introvert, my batteries have to be recharged regularly, or my responses become, let us say, unfiltered.

Epictetus is famous for saying’, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” It is quoted so often that it has become a cliché. Paul says it in a more meaningful way. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. Much like Luke, the critical element is to love.

Ephesians 4:2, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love.”

Love, what an incredible emotion. There is nothing more exhilarating than being overtaken by the tsunami called love.  As humans, we crave it as much as the air we breathe. If this thing called love is what drives us, why do we keep it from others? Why, in an unfiltered moment, do I revert away from love, not toward it? I don’t know; pride, ego, downright meanness. It is one of the flaws of a fallen world; we inflict pain to avoid pain. It is a thing I have spent many a prayerful night over.

I do know this; always try to demonstrate love. For me, it is easier to do something then say something. Maybe that is a guy thing, or perhaps it is just a Tomme thing.

1 John 3:18, “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

I am human, I am flawed, and I am trying to get better. That is all any of us can do. Chase God until there is not a fiber of your being that isn’t screaming out in pure joy. Make every moment count like it was your last; it might be. In that unfiltered moment that will come, call on the God that loved you first to help you love others. Channel the exhilaration of being loved into loving others. Remember you were made in the image of God.

Micah 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”