Tag: Love

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Peter Went Fishing

John 21:3, “Simon Peter said, “I’m going fishing.” “We’ll come, too,” they all said. So they went out in the boat, but caught nothing that night.”

I was listening to Crawford Loritts’ sermon on Easter, and this verse stood out. I thought, how human of Peter. It is interesting what we do to clarify our thinking; we gravitate to our comfort zone.

After Christ’s Crucifixion, Christ appeared to the disciples where they received the holy spirit. Even though the disciples, Peter included, saw Jesus alive and touched the scars, it didn’t seem real. The disciples were heartbroken and disillusioned. They thought they had followed the savior of the world only to see Him crucified. How was this sacrificial lamb, resurrected or not, going to free them from Roman rule? They didn’t know what was next. They knew Christ was the beginning of something great, but they didn’t understand what that was.

John 6:15, “Then Jesus, realizing that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, withdrew again to the hillside by himself.”

Peter did what we all do, gravitate back to what we know. We find busy work to occupy our time until we figure out what’s next.

HOW DOES GOD USE THESE MOMENTS

Interestingly, the following passages brought back two memories for Peter; one good and one not so good (John 21:6-9). First, the good; Peter first met Jesus when he was fishing. He had fished all night, not caught anything, and Jesus asked him to throw his net one more time (Luke 5). Jesus’ request is precisely what happened the second time when Peter went fishing after the Crucifixion. The second memory was when Jesus was cooking fish over a charcoal fire on the beach. Peter might have remembered the last time he smelled a charcoal fire; he denied Christ three times (John 18:18).

God from his infinite wisdom, cannot err or be deceived and does not waste energy; everything has a purpose. When Peter was at his lowest point, God brought back to him two essential images. The first was the joy of first meeting Jesus and his immediate dedication to Him. This image had to lift his spirits. The second was the image of his weakness. It was a backward glimpse of what the world would be like if Peter didn’t believe. It brought back all of the pain he felt when that rooster crowed.

I can’t speak for Peter, but for me, it would have reinforced why I have to hold on to the goodness of Christ’s promise and run from my weaknesses. It would be both a push and a pull; push away from doubt, pull closer to faith.

WHAT TO DO WHEN LIFE DOESN’T SEEM FAIR

James 1:3, “knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.”

We tend to go fishing. We want to break away from the uncertainty and draw close to something we know and understand. That is OK for a time, but just like Peter, it doesn’t produce results. It is nothing more than a temporary holding place to regroup.

Like Peter, we need to be reminded of the past. We need to remind ourselves of the great things God has done for us and through us. The glory of the past leads us toward the future. We also need to be reminded of what it is like to deny Christ. As dark as the world can seem at times, it is nothing compared to separation from Christ. To live without hope has to be the darkness within darkness.

Romans 8:35, “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”

HAPPY ENDINGS

On the way to doing something, you become something.

Christ built His church on the rock named Peter. If you are willing, He will raise you out of the malaise of your life. He will use all you have gone through to create an even brighter future than you could have imagined.

Matthew 16:18, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”

God may not create a worldwide revival through you, but what He will build through you, the gates of Hades, will not overcome it.  The power you have at your disposal is incredible; we lose that sometimes. Always remember that you were created for a purpose. When things don’t go the way we think they should, we forget the redeeming power of Christ’s resurrection. When we become internally focused, we forget God’s purpose. We forget the why.

I’ve heard it said that if a person can understand the why, they can get to the how. When we understand why Christ died for our sin, we can create movement toward living out the vision. And in doing, we become the person of God created us to be. Whenever you feel the darkness closing in, remember Peter. You and Peter have a lot in common.

John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

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The Redemption of Naomi

I went to Kenya as a member of the IMED team. We fund micro-businesses in impoverished third-world nations to raise them out of poverty; this assignment was the Riff Valley, about 90 km out of Nairobi. They were part of the Narok City community, where 85% of the homes have dirt floors and no water or electricity. It is the home of the Maasai. 

There are no security nets or entitlement programs; life is hard, to the very end.

MEET NAOMI

Naomi was one of our students and now the proud owner of her own business. She is a widow with six grown children; she is illiterate but brilliant. Naomi always wore a smile. At first, she seemed shy, not wanting to talk or make eye contact; most of our students, about half male and half female, interacted spontaneously. As time wore on, I got the sense that Naomi had an undefeatable steel core that would not be denied. There were moments when she made direct eye contact and, with a smile, seemed to say, “test me, I dare you.” She wanted to start a grain store, selling maze in the local market. We spent several weeks together getting to know the culture, the market, and the students. We taught them business principles, help them create business plans, and ultimately, if viable, funded their business.

THE TESTIMONY OF NAOMI 

During a lull in the activity, I asked Naomi how she came to know Christ. What she told me was a heartwarming story of redemption. Kenya, especially the Riff Valley, is a hard land. It has about 40% unemployment. Government support is almost non-existent. The average monthly expenditure for a family of six is twenty-five dollars. Naomi was married to a cattle driver; a cattle driver drives cattle to market in Nairobi by herding them on foot; it would be insanely difficult by American standards. For reasons that Naomi did not divulge, her husband started to exhibit signs of mental illness. Some of these signs were fits of violence and wild ranting. He has since passed.

Two weeks after giving birth to her sixth child, she reached a critical point of hopelessness in the midst of one of her husband’s fits. That crucial point is when we feel we must give up; life has hit us so hard that getting back up doesn’t make sense. scared, tired, and depressed; she had a newborn to take care of, children to feed, a husband unfit to provide, and no help in sight;

Two weeks after giving birth to her sixth child, she reached a critical point of hopelessness in the midst of one of her husband’s fits. That crucial point is when we feel we must give up; life has hit us so hard that getting back up doesn’t make sense. Naomi was scared, tired, and depressed; she had a newborn to take care of, children to feed, a husband unfit to provide, and no help in sight; she was overwhelmed

She went into the bedroom to cry, she laid on the dirt floor, entirely enveloped in despair. Then she recalled people in the marketplace speaking of this “Christ”; she prayed for the first time in her life. Her simple prayer was, “Christ, if you exist, save me from my situation.” What she said happened next is a fantastic description of God’s love.

REDEMPTION

Her testimony was, “And God painted a new picture of my life.”

The situation did not change, but her view of it did. She experienced hope. There was a calmness and clarity concerning the road ahead. It wasn’t about immediate answers as it was about knowing it would be alright. Christ would walk with her through this trial. Answers would come later. 

Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, believed that there is always one last vestige of freedom even under intolerable circumstances: it is the freedom to choose with how you view your circumstances. He said, “We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last human freedom – to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances” Naomi chose wisely; she chose to hope in Christ. 

THE CHASE

When you start chasing your passion, you soon realize it has always been chasing you. You will meet the Naomi’s of the world, which will confirm that you are where God planned. As much as God wants us to change the world around us, He knows chasing our passion will inevitably change us too. 

Philippians 4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

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Created for this Moment

Esther 4:14, “Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created.”

I have always found this comment my Mordecai enlightening. It is one of those hand slap to forehead kind of things.

GOD’S PLAN

The story of Ester is fascinating because it shows the length God will go to prepare people. Ester’s journey from the exile of the Jews under Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, to Mordecai’s adoption after her family’s death, to the disposition of Queen Vashti, to Ester’s selection and favor under Hagia, to her acceptance by King Xerxes was planned by God so that he could save His people and eventually rebuild Jerusalem.

Talk about God having a long view of things. Ester is precisely where God wanted her; at the exact moment the Jews needed someone in her position. But God also made an important pronouncement about this opportunity. “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place.”

Two things we need to take from this; you are where God wants you, and if you don’t act, God will use someone else.

MODERN DAY ESTER

I love the story of Ester. I can relate to so many aspects of her journey. You see, I like nice clean, well-thought-out, concisely articulated plans. No, I’m good with the reality that plans change; but you can’t change a plan you never had. That’s my thinking anyway. Life, on the other hand, is the story of Ester.

A modern-day correlation to Ester would be; parents move out of state before your senior year of high school, you have to go to an in-state college in a state you don’t like, you end up in a job after college you don’t like, you get passed over for promotion time, and time again, you finally land your dream promotion after being mentored by one of the big guns at work, and you are given a career crushing assignment. Then God says, “You were created for just this moment.”

All you hear is the sound of a toilet flush as your future does a swirly down the drain.

I love Ester; she sucks it up, puts her life on the line, and charges ahead. Carpe Diem. I guess I am a sucker for heroes and heroines, not the too dumb to know I’m in over my head type, but the “boy that’s going to leave a mark” type. Ester understood what her decision meant to her and what it meant to God and chose God.

RECOGNIZING OUR MOMENT

Most of us spend a lifetime preparing for moments that never come. We gain knowledge and skills, we save and invest, and we acquire worldly things that we will ultimately leave to others. For the most part, I don’t think we do this as an act of self-reliance or greed; I don’t think we know any better. The future is this big unknown.

Do you think Ester was focused on God’s plan for her life when her parents died; did she believe that exile seemed like the expressway to God’s purpose? Do you think it might have been a little scary being chosen as part of the King’s court, knowing his reputation? I don’t know, but I would guess that Ester felt either abandoned or at least shuttled off on a spur somewhere.

Philip. 1:6, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

KNOWING GOD

God does not waste effort. God does not play games to see what we can bear. We all have times when we can only shake our heads and say, “what was that all about?”. God is true to His promise. He will not forsake you or abandon you. Pay attention to everything that happens in your life; there will be a test. He will use the people, places, and experience of your life to advance His Kingdom.

For most of us, it will not be rebuilding Jerusalem; it will be saving a life; performing some innocuous, simple, mundane act of overwhelming kindness.  Saving one life for eternity outweighs the building of an entire city of gold. The city will fade, its splendor conquered by time, but an eternity in the presence of God never fades.

Part of knowing your purpose is to be ready to execute when the time comes. Do not spend a lifetime preparing for something that may never happened. Remember, Mordecai, warned, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place.”

Luke 19:26, “to those who use well what they are given, even more, will be given. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.”

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Traveling Partners

When we think about the concept that God has known us before we came into existence and that he created us for a specific purpose, it should give us pause. There is nothing we will face that will catch Him off guard. There are surprises in our life for us, but not Him. We were created for His purpose, not ours. Living our lives within His purpose brings us greater joy then living for ourselves. It is why we were created.

Psalm 139:16, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

If we are to become the person God created us to be, we must understand who that is. It is not a difficult question at the macro level but surprisingly tricky at the micro-level. At the big picture, blue sky level, we understand that God created all things for His pleasure.

MACRO LEVEL

God made us wonderfully complex and beautiful people. He has gifted us with all kinds of aptitude, resources, skills, ambition, and opportunity. All of this is for a straightforward reason; He wants us to glorify Him in all that we do. We are to do this from generation to generation. That implies we need to pass the word along to others to help propagate His Kingdom.

Colossians 1:16, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”

We know that we were explicitly created for good works.

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Those good works are to glorify God.

Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Easy peasy, not hard to understand; execution is a little tricky.

MICRO LEVEL

Executing God’s plan is where I, and many others, get wrapped around the axle. There are two specific ideas that I need to keep in focus: influence and opportunity. God has given me a sphere of influence that changes over time. When I was younger, it was my playmates and schoolmates; as I grew, it became my place of employment, my children, and my community. But in each case, I was given a particular sphere of influence. I have come to think that my mission field is where God has me today. Opportunity is what I do within my sphere of influence.

Philippians 2:1-3, “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Life is filled with opportunity. From an entrepreneurial perspective, the main difference between a successful person and a less successful person is not the idea but the execution. We lament that ideas are a dime-a-dozen, but a person with follow-through was as rare as hen’s teeth.  If your spirit is open, there is no shortage of opportunity within your sphere of influence. The key is both identifying these opportunities and then taking action.

Once I started praying that God would open my eyes to the opportunities around me, I was dumbfounded. It was like walking in a forest. It wasn’t like people were walking up to me asking to hear about Christ; it was people reaching out for compassion and understanding. As a high D, type A, personality, this was unsettling.  I didn’t want to engage people at a personal level. I didn’t want to get sucked down into their everyday issues. I wanted a fly-by. I wanted to drop goodwill packages from an airplane.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

I found that I should take one moment to listen; no platitudes, no suggestions. I found that I did care, sometimes helplessly, but still caring. People don’t expect solutions; they want someone to travel their journey with them. They don’t want to seem alone. Sometimes that traveling partner has to be someone outside of their sphere; it provides a security level.

As a boss, one of my biggest burdens was not having someone to talk to when things got dicey. You can’t go to your employees and say, “I’m really worried about the company.” Sometimes inside our sphere of influence, we have the same issue; we can’t say, “I’m not sure this is going to turn out the way we want.” Our role, many times, is to be the cheerleader. When the cheerleader has lost their cheer, you can be the person to whom they can go to let off steam. You can be the pressure value that allows them to decompress.

As my career advanced, it no longer seemed strange that one of my employees would come into my office, sit down in a chair and unburden themselves. Sometimes they were people I never had anything more significant than a superficial relationship; it was just work. In some cases, my only contribution to the conversation was that Christ gave me hope in my life, and that was enough. I often told them to come back any time, let me know how it was progressing, keep me in the loop. They needed a traveling partner. My job was to take one more fear off of their plate, the fear of facing this alone.

We have a traveling partner; He is always with us. He will never abandon us. Not everyone has this. For those that do not, we become the surrogate. We are the bridge between now and eternity. In time we can help them become the bridge for someone else.

2 Peter 1:19, “And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.”

Folks, becoming the person God made you to be is, on the one hand, extremely simple and, on the other hand, so complex and fearful. Remember, God has equipped you for this. There is nothing you will encounter that He has not already seen and prepared you for. We are aliens in the world. We were made for greater things to come. Don’t get stuck in neutral.

Pray for an opportunity, then enjoy a walk in the woods.

A wise man will walk across a bridge but does not build his home on it.

Ephesians 5:8, “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

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Let Me Get Home Before Dark

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Joy and fulfillment come from being who God made you to be. It does not come from things you own, titles you achieve, political causes you support, children you raise, friends you have, or any worldly desire.

Paul tells Timothy, “In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom. I give you this charge” Think of this charge to Timothy and know it also applies to each one of us. The good works prepared for us in advance are a direct command from God before we came into existence. That is a critical thought. We are to chase His purpose in our lives, not get His buy-in to what we think it should be, based on our experiences, learning, desires, or self-actualization.

LOVE

I cannot emphasize enough that all that we do should be covered in love. The fundamental building block to being the person God made us to be is that we do it in love. We can have passion, but in that passion, it should not lead to sin. We should not put ourselves above others, even when we know we are right with God in doing so.

1 Corinthians 13:13, “The three most important things to have are faith, hope and love. But the greatest of them is love.”

If what you pursue is not cloaked in love, then put a big question mark after it. You might be going in the right direction with the wrong motive or the wrong direction; something is not correct. There needs to be peace about your daily walk. You should be more content with what you do than what you achieve by doing it. Being the person God made you to be is about obedience, not results. Western culture has driven us to believe that you can only gauge success by results; this is not true in God’s economy. God has His measure. Trust me, and I say this from experience, God will motivate you to stay on the right track. God will continue to reinforce your efforts if you are striving to be His person, not yours.

GRACE

Today, more than ever, we spend much too much time judging people by their worldly beliefs. Are they Liberals, Socialist, Conservatives, or Christian nationalists; are they pro or anti-maskers, or are they pro or anti-vaccine?  We all have quirks that distinguish us from those around us; some beliefs can separate us from others or minimize our Christian impact on the world. Grace is not just making allowance for others; it is also not letting our worldly beliefs stand in the way of our mission for God.

2 Timothy 2:23, “But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.”

The world is watching us. We cannot be held responsible for others’ conclusions, but we are held accountable for our actions. If our efforts cast a shadow of God’s love for all of humanity, we need to back off. People of disparate backgrounds and worldly beliefs should all be attracted to the Gospel. We are to model to the world what the world needs to become. Please read all of Romans 14, where Paul cautions us about letting superficial worldly issues stand in the way of our mission and purpose.

Romans 14: 12-13, “So we will all have to explain to God the things we have done. Let us stop judging one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put anything in your brother’s way that would make him trip and fall.”

It is not enough to correct people with your mouth, but to compel them with your holiness.

HOPE

To be the person God made us to be, we need to change our focus. We need to stop believing that worldly events are the source of our hope. If you start thinking that your peace will come from the world aligning with your expectations, you will spend your life disappointed. I don’t care how noble or righteous your expectations are; the world will always disappoint. Your life will still be shrouded in fear, anxiety, and anger.

Our focus, yours and mine, need to be on advancing the Gospel while we have breath in our lungs to do it. Advancing the Gospel does not mean you need to take up a placard and stand on a street corner proclaiming the Gospel. It means being the person God made you be. For most of us, it means being the person who is not moved by current events. The Gospel has not changed. God has not changed His intent for humanity. Things will go well for the Christian community, and it will go poorly for the Christian community, but the end game has never changed.

The reason we can show love and grace is that the temporal environment has changed nothing. As an American, the capital riots shook my world. I had lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis when a nuclear war was minutes away. I lived through the assassination of President Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy. I lived through the Mississippi Burning murders, which lit the race riots of the ’60s; nothing questioned my resolve for this country more than the storming of our Capitol Building over the basic tenants of democracy. But, my hope was not in the political system or law enforcement, but my knowledge that God is and always has been in control.

In being the person God made me to be, my hope can only be in Him. I cannot divide my hope between God and man.

Matthew 12:25, “And knowing their thoughts he said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.”

For too long, we have hitched our wagon to the principle, insights, and philosophies of man. To be the person God made us to be, we need to get back to God. Crawford Loritts uses the the poem below in the introduction to his book, “Make it Home Before the Dark.” Our time is limited here on earth; we need to use it wisely.  The link below will take you to the poem that inspired Crawford’s book, it is well worth your time to read it.

Dr. Robertson McQuilkin – Let Me Get Home Before Dark

2 Timothy 2:15, “Do your best to present yourself to God as an approved worker who has nothing to be ashamed of, handling the word of truth with precision.”

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Lessons in Love

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

I was thinking about the essence of love. If I expected that being loved is the salve that heals all wounds, my life has been disappointing. I know what it is to love, and I know what it is to not be loved. Here is what I have learned:

LOVE

Love is the grandest experience God gave humankind. It is a drug so powerful that it can drive us to ecstasy or total despair. Love can make your brain forget to breathe.  Poets and musicians have tried to capture that feeling in words and verse since we first learned to communicate.  Zelda Fitzgerald  said “Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” There is a reason we fall in love; it is a sense of weightlessness, a sense of being out of control.  The most confident man can feel inadequate; the most accomplished woman feels insecure. 

You, or I, can’t make someone love us; they must choose to love us. We can make that easy, or we can make that hard; that is our choice. If we genuinely love them, their happiness comes before ours; we would sacrifice ours so that they might have theirs. That’s the paradox of true love; to truly love is to let go. I know that from experience. I’ve had to make that choice.

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

CAMELIA TOLSON

Accepting that we can only control ourselves and not others present us with another choice: taking the risk to love again. As we mature, we go through many cycles of love and loss. Some of those cycles teach us tough lessons about choices; others teach us lessons about life. Each of those lessons leaves a scar on our hearts. I have a special scar; Camelia (Isky) Tolsen. The Isky nickname comes from Iskenderian Camshafts – Camshaft – Cam. Guy thing. She had a twin sister, Pam, who shared a made-up language that they talked to each other when the comments were private. It was fun to watch them do it, even when it was about me. Her parents had the audacity to pack up and moved to Texas around 1966. I remember the year because it was the year of my first heartbreak. It has been over a half-century, and my heart still remembers. Love leaves that type of indentation. It is one of those scratches you can’t buff out; it’s crazy the sadness that my heart can conjure up just thinking about it.

Trust me, that wasn’t the worst; it was just the first. The nasty ones came later in life when I should have known better. I spent most of my life thinking that love was a transaction; you give, you get. It was a commodity you traded on the open market. As I matured, it started to look more like an investment with an expected return. My heart became scared and disfigured, each blemish with its own story.

Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

THE LESSON

Leo Buscaglia stated it this way “Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. “

Here’s what I know today; the way I have lived my life has left scars on God’s heart. All the times I have been unfaithful, chasing other idols, thinking there was someone or something better, left scars.  I now understand that I have caused God great pain. But I still receive unconditional love in return. God does not live in the past; that is forgiven, He looks to the future. He loved me even when I didn’t want to love Him. He loves me because He understands why I shy away at times. My goal is to love as God loves; that’s a tall order.

When we live our lives trying to avoid pain by not fully committing to love, we rob God of one of His most precious gifts, not to mention what we do to ourselves. We have a choice to look at our scars and remember the pain we went through to get them, or we can remember the relationships that made them possible; they‘re the ribbons and medals of past skirmishes that show we have lived a life worth living.

1 John 4:8, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Choose to love; choose not to look for or expect a return. Revel in the euphoria of love.  Choose not to avoid the joy of loving to avoid the pain of loss. Accept that the greater the passion, the greater the pain. When your heart retches in despair over a lost love, it remembers the great joy that proceeded that pain. Don’t look at it as a transaction or a commodity, but a gift you give yourself.

Erich Fromm said it this way, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.

1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

God leaps with joy when we connect the dots. He beams with pride to know we figured out that love is not about getting but giving. And in that giving, we get a gift far beyond our expectations; we get a glimpse of heaven.

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Forgiveness

Psalm 25:6-7, “Lord, remember your great mercy and love. You have shown them to your people for a long time. Don’t remember the sins I committed when I was young. Don’t remember how often I refused to obey you. Remember me because you love me.”

WE HAVE ALL BEEN WOUNDED

When you run into people who create negativity in your life, you can take direct action; you can unfriend them, cancel them, block them, and ignore them. However, you can not run away from yourself; that voice in your head goes everywhere you go. If you allow it, the negativity they created hangs around long after they are gone.

Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

As hard as it is for me to forgive others for their transgression, it is almost impossible for me to forgive my transgression. Somehow I think mine is worse. I can walk away from others, but I can’t walk away from myself.

Why do I stress this? I let other people’s transgression highjack my life. There comes this tipping point where their offense becomes my obsession. Long after the event, I play it over and over in my mind. I try to figure out why it happened, what was my role? I try to understand where it will lead, how do I handle the next interaction?  And the big one, how do I get it across to them how they made me feel? When I am anxious or angry I can not bear God’s fruit in my life.

HEALING STARTS AT HOME

Before I can truly forgive others, I have to understand and accept my forgiveness. I may not have started the transgression; I may not have contributed in any way, but I have my sin. Offenses happen, and they cause real pain that sometimes takes a long time to go away, sometimes a lifetime.  Although I am not a proponent of today’s victim culture, I do understand that we are all victims at one point or another. Forgiveness isn’t about pretending bad things never happened; it is not about forgetting. It is how do we get through the things that do occur.

Colossians 3:13, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

“What consumes your mind is what controls your life.” Anonymous

I wish I knew who said this. It is one of those pearls of wisdom that echo over and over throughout my life. It is one of the go-to thoughts that creep into my head when I let others take control of my thoughts. What consumes your mind controls your life. The more you play that record of transgression over and over, the more control it exercises over your life. We need to find a way of playing a different song. I believe the start of that transition is to understand who I am and what God did for me. A friend of mine refers to himself as a scoundrel; that is the perfect description of myself.

Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.

When I first start absorbing the incredible gift God gave me through His forgiveness of my sin, and I take the time to acknowledge the scoundrel in me, it makes it easier to have compassion for the scoundrel in others. I can’t imagine what my life would look like if God held me accountable for all of my sins. I need God’s forgiveness.

EXTENDING GRACE

Matthew 6: 14-15, “Forgive other people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive the sins of other people, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Forgiveness is not just something that happens to us; forgiveness flows through us. We forgive so that we may be forgiven. I know this is extremely hard at times. Remember, forgiveness is not forgetting; it is not accepting, it is not acquiescing; it releases us to feel compassion and love again. Forgiveness is putting transgressions behind us and moving forward.

Mark 11:25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Forgiveness is not about them; it is about us. It is about us showing God how much His forgiveness means to us; it means so much we will put other people’s transgressions behind us. What consumes our mind will be the love of Christ; what controls our life will be the love of Christ. 

Ephesians 1:7, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”

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2021 – Bringing Peace to Conflict

Ephesians 4: 29-32, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

THE PROBLEM

This last year has been a year in which people seem to have lost the ability to have a civil conversation with those with whom they disagree. We have become a culture in which saying what is on our mind is more important than understanding why others think differently. Our culture is starting to take this divisiveness to a new level; it has become visceral for some. It is no longer a philosophical difference; it has taken on a emotional repulsion that others would dare think the way they do. We have lost our guiding light.

Judges 21:28, “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”

In Ephesians, Paul points out that we sometimes forget that in everything we do, do it as if we were talking directly to God. When our emotions start to take over our common sense and our brain disconnects from our mouth, would we dare speak to God how we are talking to each other?

Ephesians 6:6-7, “And do this not only to please them while they are watching, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve with good will, as to the Lord and not to men” 

There is a lot of craziness going around. Some of the ideas are unbelievable. Christians, which should be looking to Christ first, are now following their favorite Social Media Influencer. Years ago, we used to laugh at the comment “If it is on the internet it must be true.” It was a joke. There are now people who believe if their favorite internet personality said something, that person exhaustively researched it, and facts back it up. Most of the time, these influencers are doing nothing more than feeding their followers. Growing followers is how they make money. The more controversy they stimulate, the more advertising dollars they earn. Loyal followers are their cash cows. They engage their audience emotionally first, intellectually second. If I can hook you emotionally, you are less likely to question my intellectual logic; you want my argument to be valid.

APPROACHING OTHERS

Galatians 5:22-23, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

As a Christian, who should always speak the truth, how do I approach these discussions? First of all, what you say or do reflects who you are, not who they are. They can be as crazy as they like, but you must stay true to your beliefs. It is having that level of integrity that will ultimately win the day. We are responsible for our actions, not the actions of others. So, I would suggest you approach this delicately. Try to avoid flashpoints that will ramp up emotions. Try not to challenge their beliefs, but ground your comments on spiritual truth. Never make the conversation a personal attack.

Proverbs 11:3, ” The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

We should have a grace like rain falling from an empty sky on a hot summer day; unexpected and refreshing.

Ephesians 4: 2-3 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

I have to be honest with you; I find most of these conversations to have no earthly or spiritual value. Someone is either proposing a future action that they have little, if any, control over or speculating on a past story that cannot be proven; It is an opinion, nothing more. God will lead the outcome regardless of our opinion. At the end of the day, what you or I think of the future has little actual meaning. God knows the future; we do not.

Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

We should approach these conversations with compassion. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, what is God’s play in all of this? Will this conversation bring both parties closer to or farther away from God? Other than the sinful by-products like anger, bitterness, or rage, how does this discussion impact their salvation? Most do not. The real risk is in the sinful by-products. Those are the sins that will make it harder to have a genuine relationship with God. Those are the sins we should help avoid.

APPROACHING OURSELVES

Although I firmly believe that we have an obligation to others to help ramp down the level of angry discourse, I also think that we need to look inward. How many times are we emotionally hijacked by what someone else believes? How many times do we walk away from a conversation angry or upset? How long does that conversation echo through your brain until it starts to affect other conversations you have that day?

Ephesians 4:14, “Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.”

The foundation of all thought must be a faith that God uses all things for His good. That we can have peace in all situations because God is in control. God’s plan may not be our plan, His plan is better than our plan. I may believe that something is evil and should never be allowed to exist. Its very existence upsets me. God knows this and has a plan to deal with it; His timing may not be our timing. His actions may not be our actions. But God will prevail.

Don’t let other people write your narrative. Remember who you signed up to serve.

2 Timothy 2:4 “No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer.”

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When…If…Then

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

2 Chronicles 7:13-14

2020 has been a very tough year. I hear competing ideas and philosophies about why this has happened. It covers everything from we live in a fallen world to God’s judgment for evil people.  I know I am not smart enough to answer that question. But I am smart enough to question what it means to me and what God wants me to do about it. 2 Chronicles guides me. It does not explain why, but it does explain what. Executing “the what” opens my eyes to the love God has put all around me.

WHEN

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people.”

We have had to deal with a worldwide pandemic, social unrest, economic upheaval, and an extremely vitriol election. If this isn’t modern-day locust, drought, and plague, it is as close as I have seen during my time on this earth. I don’t know the why of this, but scripture tells me what. We are in the situation we are in for reasons only God may fully understand, and God will use it. If….

IF

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways.”

The first and most important clue is “my people, who are called by my name.” Our worldly problems are not about a political ideology, political parties, government legalism, social movement, or any other earthly pursuit; it is not a third-party issue. It falls in the lap of believers. God says the solution is not in the hands of others; it in the hands of people who call themselves Christians. The first step after the when is to recognize that the solution starts and ends with believers acting like believers. But there are conditions.

1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

HUMBLE THEMSELVES

Step back for worldly issues. Set aside temporal bias and wants. Get on your knees and let God know that you are pushing those issues behind you and only seeking His will. Acknowledge that you have let the world creep in between you and Him. Let Him know you were wrong, the only real guide is the Messiah. You allowed the worries of the world to distract you from your mission.

Titus 2:12, “Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”

PRAY

Now speak to Him. Acknowledge your weaknesses and your desire to be back in harmony with Him. Ask that He will do His will in your life and this country and this world. The Bible says we have not because we do not ask. It also states that He will answer all prayers that are in accordance with His will. Prayer is the beginning of all healing.

Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

SEEK MY FACE

We need to prioritize the information that enters our brain. God made an incredibly complex computer between our ears. But like all computers, it is garbage in garbage out. If you continue to fill your brain with worthless or even harmful information, you will find it increasingly difficult to communion with God.

In all things, seek first the Kingdom of Heaven. Perform every interaction as if it was being performed in front of God. Consume every conversation, every video, every book or article as if you were on God’s knee. Do not think you can hide your distractions in the closet to be brought out when God is not looking.

Deuteronomy 4:29, “But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

TURN FROM THEIR WICKED WAYS

Change is the indication of repentance. It is easy to say you are sorry; it is easy to be remorseful of your actions or fearful of the repercussions. It is challenging to modify your behavior to minimize the chance of falling back into old ways. You have to break the habits that created the problem. God knows we will never be perfect this side of Heaven, but He expects us to try. He will continue to forgive our earnest failures.

Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

THEN

“then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

Here is the excellent part. Our God is a God of love and redemption. He is a God who wants us to bask in the radiant splendor and warmth of His compassion. God does not want us to fall or fail. If we accept that it is us, the body of His Church, that have failed this nation and this world, then He will heal the land.

1 Corinthians 2:9, “But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.”

The non-believers are lost in a world they do not understand. They are part of the problem, but only because they do not understand. How can they learn, but that we would teach them? If we commit to doing our part, He will do these three things:

HEAR FROM HEAVEN

He will hear our prayers. Without repentance and change, we build a wall between God and us that hampers our prayers. The roar of our pain becomes a whisper. Once we repent and turn, all the white noise goes away, and our voice becomes loud and clear.

John 9:31, “We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will.”

FORGIVE THEIR SIN

Forgiveness of sin is so much better than relief from worldly troubles. Sin separates us from God for eternity. Earthly pain lasts just a short time. We live in this world, and we have to deal with what it throws at us. Many of those moments can be extremely painful. But that pain is nothing compared to an eternity separated from God.

1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

HEAL THEIR LAND

Now God heals the world around us. We are right with Him, which is His priority. We will never see the end of world hunger, social injustice, or disease on this side of Heaven, but we can find peace. God will raise Godly leaders; He will dampen our sorrows and lighten our loads.

John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

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Love as the Weapon of Choice

It is the summer of 1832, and Aldous has inveterately questioned the linage of Montague. Montague, in a fit of rage, takes offense and challenges Aldous to a duel. Aldous, being the one challenged, has the right to choose the weapon; he chooses to love. This type of duel will never make a good movie script. It lacks panache and flair. Dueling pistols at ten paces outperforms coffee and a Danish. Choosing to love someone as a means of settling a disagreement isn’t the way we see things done.

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM HERE?

God created us to enjoy the world in which he planted us. It is His plan that we live a life of peace and joy. He wants us to love every moment we spend here on earth.

I believe that one of the strongest desires of most people is to love and to be loved. Expressing love or receiving love connotates that there are two parties involved; the giver and the receiver. We know from practical experience that love is easy when the two parties are in synch; to love the person who loves you is a comfortable and warm place to be. Let’s move away from the romance novel into real life. Life is full of unlovable people. How do we live a life of peace?

The second greatest Commandment

Matthew 22:39, “The second most important commandment is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'”

Aside from the everyday jerk who took your parking place or cut in front of you in line, there are the genuinely unlovable. California passed a new law that it is no longer a crime to possess child pornography. You live in California and just found out your neighbor does. You live in Oregon. Your neighbor has a drug store of heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine, ecstasy, LSD, psilocybin, methadone, and oxycodone for personal and recreational use; how do you love them? We have differences concerning abortion, gun control, taxes, economics, affirmative action, gay marriage, international relations, and the list goes on and on.

That’s a big mountain to climb. But how can we love our neighbor if we don’t know them? I suggest knowing about them is not good enough. Relying on others opinion of them is not good enough.

SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN

In Larry Crabb’s SoulTalk, he brings up an excellent point. At first, it seemed minor, but the more I applied it, the more critical it became in my thinking. Larry asks us to first look at our sin before jumping into criticizing others. At first, I thought of this as; I don’t have to be right for you to be wrong. I turned a corner on this. I now think about it as not a me-against-you statement but as a grounding statement about all human nature. When I apply critical thinking to my state, I can then apply critical thinking to others. When I start to understand the underlying issues to my sin, I can begin to look for the underlying problems that drive others. How I rationalize what I do helps me understand the dynamics of why other people think the way they do.

We are all sinners separated from God. Just as God cared enough about me to reach down and lift me out of my sin, should I expect Him to do less for others? I’ve always looked at this as the Jonah issue. Jonah spent some time in a whale because he did not want God to forgive his enemies, and he knew God would. The requirement is that they had to repent and turn from their wicked way; much to Jonah’s dismay, they did.

I am not trying to rationalize the behavior of others, as much as their motivation. Destroy the foundation, and the house will fall. When I realize that my lack of self-esteem makes me envious, I can start to deal with my envy issues. A lack of real love often drives lust; substance abuse can indicate a sense of being out of control. God provides all of these things that are missing. God enables us to take an approach of getting something more valuable than we are giving up. Understanding God’s love may not solve the immediate problem or resolve the worldly differences, but it will provide a different platform from which to try at least to love them a little more.

CAUTIONARY TALES

Even if you cannot find common ground, you need to make sure their issues do not create new problems for you. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind.

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against your neighbor. It is easy to start to think that you are the standard-bearer for God’s kingdom. Don’t let your sense of righteous indignation trick you into believing you have the right to be judge, jury, and executioner. That is God’s domain. If you cannot find a path toward love, then pray for salvation, not destruction. It is not yours to command. Be careful that your attitude doesn’t cause people to start praying that about you.

Leviticus 19:18, “Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord.”

Do not give false witness against your neighbor. Gossip is not just telling a lie; it is about spreading harmful information, even when it is true. We may have differences with people, but that does not give us the right to talk poorly about them to others. Even when it is true, unless it is germane to a critical situation, we need to watch our tongue. When someone is making a decision and needs your consultation, you must be truthful; I would suggest you distinguish between fact and opinion. Most of the time, we spread information through idle chatter or within confidential friends. Be careful not to let someone else’s sin create sin in you. Don’t escalate the situation by talking too much about it to others.

Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

James 1:26, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”

Do not let your difference simmer into a quarrel or outright war. Don’t let these differences keep you up at night with unclean thoughts. Often, what we want is not material; it is emotional; we want to be right. Their opinion or their actions makes us angry, and we cannot let it go. I like the saying that anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

James 4:1-2, “Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.”

God commands us to build up our neighbors. Rather than despise or discourage others who think differently, why not spend our time reinforcing the excellent qualities. Don’t spend so much time thinking about what is wrong, but find common ground to have a friendly conversation. This common ground is what will give you the right to share the gospel. Contention has never been the best breeding ground for change. Change comes from a shared desire to live a peaceful life. That has always been God’s plan while we are still here on earth.

Romans 5:2, “He has brought us by faith into this experience of God’s grace, in which we now live. And so we boast of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory!”

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