Tag: Love

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Love Without Words

Acts of Kindness

Love without words is the most challenging love of all; It requires the person expressing their love to understand the recipient’s love language and to take physical action. “I love You” is easy to say even when you don’t mean it. It is difficult when it connotates weakness or vulnerability. Determining what a person needs to feel loved requires attention to detail. Showing love without words isn’t about saying what you think is loving, but doing what they need to feel loved. To do that, you must take the time to understand and care.

1 John 3:18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Words and Speech

“Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.” – Frederick W. Faber.

Kind words do heal. They bring peace to the weary. Kind words should never be used sparingly. They are the suave to the wounds of life. We should always try to communicate with love and compassion. The world is full of trouble; we should not add to it.

Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

But it is easy for Christians to talk. We placate people with words, quote scripture, and offer prayers. Prayer is always good and should precede every action, but it is not enough. Scripture is fundamental to understanding what God wants us to do, but it is not the doing.

The use of words when action is needed paints Christianity as hypocritical. Jesus modeled what He taught. He demonstrated what He said through His actions. We need to be doers of the word, not just sayers.

James 1:22, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

What would it be like to sit quietly listening, then wordlessly act, meeting a need without being asked or receiving praise? When all you do is give advice, console, be empathetic, and then move on with your life, you have done more harm than good. You have provided evidence of your shallowness and the shallowness of being Christian, harming the one you speak to, and grieving the Holy Spirit.

Titus 1:16, “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”

Action and Deeds

2 Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

For what they have done, an action word. It does not say we will receive judgment for everything we say, but what we have done. I would argue that saying without doing it sometimes does great harm.

James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Faith without works is dead. That is not hard to understand. One of the most rewarding things a Christian can do is to help someone in need without being asked. The joy of seeing a need and then using the resources God has put at your disposal to meet that need is overwhelming. To do it anonymously, praising God for the opportunity, is even better. God loves that we acknowledge that He, and He alone, makes it possible. He loves that we act according to the gospel, redistributing His resources. There will always be an opportunity to witness to that person after their need is met. But meeting their need opens the door to that conversation.

James 2:26, “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”

Random Acts of Kindness

When a stranger walks into someone’s life without provocation and does something to help, it leaves an indelible mark. People will not remember what was said, but they will remember the act of a stranger. Giving generously of your time is more extravagant than giving generously of your money.

Plan “random” acts of kindness that embed a gospel presentation.

Train yourself to be ready to give, serve, show love, and act in every season or circumstance.

Become the sort of person for whom Jesus-like acts of kindness become natural.

Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Randon Acts:

      •  Mail a gift card to someone going through a rough season (not text or email)
      •  Mow your neighbor’s lawn
      •  Rake your neighbor’s leaves
      •  Shovel your neighbor’s driveway and/or walkway
      •  Weed your neighbor’s flower garden
      •  Take out your neighbor’s bins on trash day
      •  Leave an encouraging note on a car windshield in the parking lot
      •  Offer to babysit so a couple you know can have a date night
      •  Offer to babysit the kids of a single mom so she can go shopping or have a few hours to herself (make this a regular thing!)
      •  Mentor a young adult.
      •  Offer a free class to kids (or beginner-level adults) on a topic in which you are skilled or knowledgeable: crochet, history, meal planning, budgeting, soccer, art, photography, woodworking, car maintenance, etc.
      •  Help someone move
      •  Talk to someone on the street. Buy them a meal, hang out with them, give them a hug or an affirming touch.
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God’s Tapestry of Life

Each of us is a double-knotted thread in God’s tapestry of life. In His greatness, He died for our past, present, and future sins. From sinful man, He created a new creation free of sin. But that new creation lives in a fallen and sinful world. He knew this when He created all our existence. It was done with a plan in mind.

Colossians 1:16, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”

Tapestry

“God’s plan will continue on God’s schedule.” ― A.W. Tozer.

Before all creation, God created you. You are a specific piece in an enormous tapestry representing God’s plan for eternity. I remember a trip to Turkey, where I learned about the Turkish rug-making business. I was privileged to see how a Turkish rug was made, from the silkworm to the finished product. It is incredible that, to this day, it still holds to the ancient manual process created thousands of years ago. It has not been modernized. An authentic Turkish rug is made by hand in every aspect, from extracting the silk for the cocoon to hand-dying the silk using berries and leaves to creating the silk thread and weaving the masterpiece by double knotting each thread. It can take nine to eighteen months to make a single rug.

Isaiah 40:28, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.”

The fascinating part is that the weaver works from the back side of the rug. They see tied knots of multi-colored thread, row after row. It is only when they turn the rug over that they see the image. The image is made up of millions of tightly knotted multi-colored threads hand-picked from memory. If one thread is out of place, and the image is flawed, the weaver must undo their work back to the point of error and reweave with the correct thread.

Your Thread

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

You are a thread in God’s tapestry. You are important and special. Your life has purpose and meaning. The world looks like a mass of tied multi-colored knots that make little sense to us. To God, it is the perfect image of His creation. Your purpose isn’t to be the picture but to be part of the picture. Most of us are the predominant mono-color of the background. Our place is to frame the multi-colored threads that make up the scene. But without the contrast of the background, the scene loses its impact. We set the stage and make the introduction for the final product. We are the foundation that holds the tapestry together so that the total image can impact the viewer. The viewer is God and God alone. It is His tapestry.

Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Some of us are the multi-colored thread that brings out the scene. But before we give ourselves too much importance, we must remember there are millions of multi-colored threads, which must all accept their place to make the total image work. One does not carry more importance than another. It is all the threads working together to make God’s tapestry. He is the weaver, choosing the threads one by one.

Your Purpose

Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Do not look at your life as man looks at life, if you do it will only bring you pain. Look at life as God looks at life; each one is precious and important; each has purpose and meaning. God chooses each of us with love and compassion as He weaves the image of Himself. Take hope from the understanding that you are exactly who God made you be to achieve the unique purpose He planned for your life before creation. Embrace it and live it. Eternity is a very long time, and the final image is enormous; don’t get lost in the everyday.

Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”

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Point Nemo

Point Nemo is one of the most remote locations on Earth, officially known as the oceanic pole of inaccessibility. It is the point in the ocean that is farthest from any land. Specifically, it lies in the South Pacific Ocean, about 2,688 kilometers (1,450 nautical miles) from the nearest landmasses. The International Space Station is closer than any landmass.

There are times when I believe I am at the pole of inaccessibility. I’m disconnected from what is going on around me. The world is whirling around me; activity is everywhere, and I don’t care. I’m in my little world that seems frozen in time. My prayer life slows to a standstill. I pray, but not with conviction. I’m walking knee-deep in mud.

Psalm 32:1-2 – “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.”

The lies are impeccably factual. They contain no errors. There are no distortions or falsified data. But they’re lies all the same because they claim to tell us who we are and omit everything about our origin in God and our destiny in God. – Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction

Point Nemo

We all experience times when we seem to have been left behind by the world around us. We have concerns and issues that don’t matter to anyone but us. Someone has hurt us unintentionally; we know there is no real cause, but we feel it. When we feel disconnected from the world, even amid a crowd, it’s like a glass wall surrounds us—able to see and hear everything but not truly part of it.

Untreated, this feeling can mushroom into full-blown depression. For most of us, it is a fleeting melancholy. Generally, we are left feeling like we don’t matter; our goals and dreams are too far away. Our past controls our future. We don’t measure up to the people around us. Maybe because we can’t catch a break, everything is too hard. Money, work, family, friends, and society are flashpoints.

Psalm 32:1-2 – Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.

Traversing this storm in life feels like being caught in a cyclone where the winds of uncertainty howl and the rain of challenges pours relentlessly. Each step forward is met with resistance as if the very ground beneath is shifting, threatening to swallow us up. Amidst the chaos, there are moments of exhaustion, where the weight of the storm bears down, making every breath a battle. How do we escape the pole of inaccessibility?

Tranquil Journey

The raging storm is a mirage; it doesn’t actually exist. It is a construct of our mind. That is hard to believe. Isn’t it? Most visits to Point Nemo are self-inflicted wounds. Point Nemo is real, but the journey away from Point Nemo doesn’t require you to overcome a storm. You feel what you feel (Point Nemo), but the path to serenity doesn’t require a great physical effort. More importantly, you do not have to accomplish it alone. The more time you spend at Point Nemo, the harder it is to believe you can leave.

Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Seeking refuge in Christ is our only hope, whether we feel condemned by our actions or by the actions of others. Christ is our true identity, and our past does not bind us. Instead, we are defined by Him. Scripture continually guides us forward, reminding us that our identity rests in Him alone.

Remember that solutions take as much time to create as problems, and problems are not as spontaneous as you think. You will not change your thinking quickly when you have taken a lifetime to create it. The journey starts with prayer and proceeds through a path of willing friends and loving family.

2 Corinthians 5:21, “For our sake he made him be sin who knew no sin so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

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Contentment, Happiness, and Joy

Joy and HappinessContentment, Happiness, and Joy: I discussed these three issues with a good friend. It is easy to get confused. Which one is the most important?

Contentment

I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, I still possess. – Martin Luther

1 Timothy 6:6-7, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”

Contentment is a state of being satisfied with what one has. It’s a feeling of peace and acceptance regarding one’s situation. It comes from a place of acceptance and is often associated with having a sense of sufficiency and being at ease with one’s life.

Contentment offers a steady and enduring sense of satisfaction and peace. It’s less dependent on external circumstances, which means it can provide a reliable foundation for well-being. Contentment makes you more likely to navigate life’s ups and downs with a balanced perspective. Contentment is about accepting and finding peace with what you have.

Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'”

Happiness

Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose… only (upon) the Beloved who will never pass away. – C.S. Lewis

Luke 12:15, “Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'”

Happiness is a broad term that generally refers to well-being and euphoria. It encompasses various emotions and experiences that make one feel good. It comes from external factors like achievements, relationships, or material possessions, as well as internal factors like personal attitudes and outlook on life.

External factors heavily influence happiness and might fluctuate based on circumstances, achievements, or experiences. While happiness can be exhilarating, it often relies on positive external factors or events that are not always within our control.

Joy

Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering; it is the presence of God. – Sam Storms

Ecclesiastes 3:12, “I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.”

Joy is a deep-rooted, inspired happiness that transcends circumstances. Unlike fleeting emotions tied to external events, biblical joy is a state of contentment, confidence, and hope rooted in a relationship with God. It is often associated with spiritual well-being and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Biblical joy is a profound and enduring state of happiness rooted in a relationship with God, characterized by trust, hope, and the assurance of His presence and promises.

Galatians 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.”

What is your Priority?

After a long debate and much consternation, I walked away thinking this: Joy is the essence of my existence, Contentment is a goal I have control over, and Happiness, well, I hope it visits me often. I can be joyful in any situation, even when I am discontent. The strength of that choice is God’s promise for my life. Contentment can be challenging because it typically requires physical, emotional, worldly, and spiritual living within my means. Sometimes, in a broken world, being content is problematic; it takes tenacity.

Happiness is a bluebird; in sales, we used to refer to a bluebird as a sale that dropped into your lap. That is a good metaphor. Happiness happens; it is spontaneous and serendipitous. We can build an environment that improves the likelihood of it visiting, but it takes external conditions for it to appear. Just as quickly as it comes, an event can chase it away.

Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

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Cascading Decisions

Helping othersCascading decisions rule our lives. Millions of people make millions of everyday decisions in millions of places, causing a cascade that eventually affects us. The overseas workers can make the products we bring into our homes. Their decision every morning to work hard or blow it off can eventually affect us. People’s interactions with significant others, friends, family, or co-workers affect how they go about their lives and may encroach on our lives. Product developers in companies worldwide make decisions every day that eventually seep into our existence. People we never see, talk with, or know, make decisions that eventually cause difficulties.

Why is it important to understand this human dynamic? Every day, we face challenges created outside our sphere of influence. These challenges are ours; we own them. We are the ones that react in the wake of their existence. How we react is part of the millions making decisions that affect others. We see the immediate impact on those close to us, but we may not see the ripple effect across time.

The person we cut in front of in line at the grocery store who then speaks harshly to their mate, who then takes that out on an employee. The cycle goes on. A viral tsunami of vitriol emotions that spawns outward. Just as we are the recipients of cascading decisions made by others, so are others the recipients of ours.

Prayer

“True prayer is neither a mere mental exercise nor a vocal performance. It is far deeper than that – it is spiritual transaction with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.” – Charles Spurgeon

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Why did this come to mind? It came to mind because of its impact on answered prayer. Yes, God can and does create miracles. But I don’t think He is in the miracle business. Throughout the New Testament, Jesus constantly comments on an unbelieving world that requires signs and miracles to believe. He does not want us to rely on miracles as evidence of our faith. He wants our faith to reveal the evidence of His miracles.

1 John 5:15, “And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

The example that comes to mind is the fig tree Jesus cursed as He arrived in Jerusalem. It did not wither and die immediately. The fig tree revealed the evidence of the curse the next day. Prayer works that way many times. Yes, I have had the experience of prayer being answered almost immediately, which is what I would describe as a miracle. But often, my prayers are answered in a very subtle way over time. Sometimes, if I am not looking, I miss them all together. It is later that I realize the impact of that single prayer.

1 John 5:14, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

Cascading Decisions

Keep this in mind as you pray. We are not an island but part of an eight-billion-person ecosystem. Most problems we face are not simple transactions between two people but the cascading culmination of many decisions. The way God answers our prayers may affect more people than ourselves. This cascade of actions starts the moment we pray. We may not see the results of these actions for some time. It does not mean God does not go to work the moment you pray, but, like the fig tree, the results take time.

Psalm 145:18, “The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.”

Do not get discouraged when you feel that God did not hear you. Do not feel your faith is weak because the answer was not immediate. Be patient; let God work in the lives of all the people affected by His response. Many times, I miscalculated the complexity of my prayer only to see the impact on myself and maybe a few others. I don’t see the pattern of ripples as this one decision goes across time.

God Loves You

1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

God loves you unconditionally, even when we do not reciprocate that love. God never changes. He is not affected by mere human frailties; He knows us better than we know ourselves. God knows what you are going through. What He wants from you is for you to glorify Him by coming to Him with whatever is on your mind. He wants you to invite Him into your world.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

The world is not too complex for Him. He created it along with the universe. God looks over every person, animal, plant, insect, molecule, and quark He created. To us, it is a giant and hostile planet constantly buffeted by the afterglow of Adam’s betrayal. To God, it is His loving creation that He carefully cares for even when we do not see it.

Romans 1:20, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.”

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Everyone has a Story.

Listen and SilentEveryone has a story—you have one, and everyone you meet has one. One of the most essential life skills is the ability to listen to those stories. In listening to these stories, we start to connect with other people. It is not their bias, preconceived ideas, or emotional state that brings us together—it is the stories of our lives. We can not earn the right to speak until we show compassion and listen.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“

Everyone’s Story

I have traveled worldwide and met people of many diverse cultures. What I have learned is that we all share the same DNA when it comes to life stories. It starts in tragedy, then crescendos to the impossible, and ends with great overcoming. The crescendo’s amplitude varies based on the environment, but the storyline remains intact.

I have found that the root cause of much of the conflict we experience in life is a lack of understanding about our commonality. We focus too much on our differences and not enough on our similarities.

Hebrews 3:4, “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”

Everyone has a personal story of overcoming challenges, and these stories are profoundly individual yet universally relatable. These stories showcase resilience, growth, and the human capacity to adapt and thrive in adversity. Listening to these stories can inspire us, foster empathy, and build connections by highlighting everyday experiences and struggles. Each story is a testament to the strength and determination inherent in the human spirit, reminding us that we can overcome even the most daunting obstacles.

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” — Dean Jackson.

EARNING THE RIGHT TO SPEAK

Mark 12:31, “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

How do you earn the right to speak? Most of us enter a conversation assuming we have the right to speak our minds. While this is conventional wisdom, it should not be the default attitude. A better way to position yourselves is to earn this right to speak.

Be Attentive: Eliminate distractions and concentrate fully on the speaker. Maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and adopt an open posture to show you are actively engaged in the conversation. You are not listening until it is your turn to talk; you are listening to understand their point of view.

Proverbs 18:13, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

 Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker finish their thoughts without interjecting. Pause before replying to ensure the speaker has finished their point. Keep your emotions in check and avoid reacting impulsively. Allow the conversation to flow naturally without rushing. We almost always find something to respond to in the middle of their monologue. There is a natural inclination to stop the speaker while your thoughts are fresh. If you let them continue, you show respect, and you might learn something that changes your response.

 Show Empathy: Try to grasp the speaker’s emotions and perspectives. Acknowledge their feelings and experiences. This action shows that you understand and care. You can’t fake this. You care, or you don’t care. If you don’t care, why are you even having this conversation?

 Ask Questions: Ask open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding. Questions should encourage the speaker to elaborate and share more details. The advice given to me is to convert every statement into a question. Instead of saying, “That won’t work.”, say, “How do you see that working?

 Avoid Judgments: Listen without forming immediate opinions or assumptions. Respect the speaker’s viewpoint, even if it differs from your own.

Benefits of Listening

Proverbs 1:5, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”

When we become so wrapped up in our own story that we can not see or choose to disregard the story of others, we miss an incredible opportunity for grace. Rather than launching into a defense of our story, stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the story of the person in front of you. Here is what you might Learn:

Value of Empathy: Listening to someone’s story is a way to walk in their shoes, to see the world through their eyes. It fosters empathy and deepens your understanding of human experiences, creating meaningful connections. People do not create positions contrary to their experiences. There is a reason they think what they think. Discover it.

Personal Growth: Every story you hear can teach you something new. It can challenge your perspectives, broaden your horizons, and contribute to personal growth. We are all a product of our environment, and so are they. Try to understand the worldly forces molding their experience.

Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The Power of Validation: When you listen to someone’s story, you validate their experiences. This acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful and healing for the storyteller, reminding them that their voice matters. Stories remind us of our shared humanity. In a world that can often feel divided, listening to others can bring us closer together and highlight the common threads that unite us all.

Inspiration: Consider when someone’s story has inspired you, changed your perspective, or motivated you. By listening to others, you allow yourself to experience these moments regularly. We all love overcoming that moment when the impossible becomes possible. We need to hear more of these.

This Week’s Final Thought

Listening to others’ stories isn’t just about them—it’s also about you. It’s a reciprocal act where the listener and the storyteller gain something valuable. A person’s emotional state is derived from their previous experiences. We sometimes misunderstand a current situation because we do not know its story. Ask them their story when you sense something greater is going on. This moment could be the moment when another great story begins.

Proverbs 27:19, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

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Getting in the Way of God

Getting in the way of God, what does that mean? This idea is a concept that I struggle with constantly. It started with a passage in Mark.

Mark 8:31–33, “He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Jesus strongly rebukes Peter. What did Peter do to deserve this type of treatment? Peter put his desire and the world’s desires before God’s desire. He thought he had a better plan for saving his Jewish people. The problem was that Peter didn’t understand the right question. It was not saving the Israelites from the Romans but saving all humanity from destruction.

That took me back to the early 2000’s. We had a men’s retreat at my church. A recession was in progress, and some men were looking for jobs. After one man stood before the assembled men and asked for help in his job search, Leo Wells of Wells Real Estate Investment Trust, a relatively wealthy man, said not to get so involved in good works that you get in the way of God’s plans.

At the time, it struck me as a very unChrist-like statement. Should we not always do as much as we can with what we have to help another Christian?

1 John 3:17 ~ “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”

Getting in the Way

1 Corinthians 2:11, “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”

It took time and perspective to understand what Leo was saying. I looked at the crisis in my life for direction. How many times did God use a crisis to get my attention? How often have I walked away from a crisis with a greater appreciation for the experience?

We hate crises, uncertainty, and vulnerability. For me, it was mainly about how it affected others. People depended on me, and I was vulnerable. I didn’t know how long this situation would last, how bad it would get, or how I would keep my commitments.

It is in these moments that we cling to Christ. Many times, it is the crisis that causes us to rest in Christ’s promise never to desert us. A crisis is the ultimate litmus test of our faith. It is not the blessings and good times; it is when we are weakest and most vulnerable.

Had well-meaning Christians interfered with what God was trying to accomplish with me during a crisis, I may not have learned the lesson He had for me. I can’t say I looked at it that way during my dark hours; I wanted help, relief, and certainty. I wanted to get as far from my problem as humanly possible; I didn’t care what that looked like.

How Do We Know

Jeremiah 32:19, “Great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.”

I find that there are times when we experience the downside to wisdom. Ignorance is bliss. God opens our eyes to His wisdom, and our limited human existence freezes. We don’t know how to deal with it. God knows everything, and we know so little about our impact on the future. What is our response when presented with an opportunity to help someone out of a crisis?

There is only one viable response: PRAYER. Every situation is unique. Every path forward has its own story. There are times when we should step in and help. But we must be aware that there are times when we need to trust God a little bit more. There may be a purpose behind the situation that we do not see. The best worldly advice I can give is to see if God is not holding open another door that does not include us. Prayer is the only way you can decern this.

Job 42:2, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

Constantly, others present me with opportunities to help. It seems the opportunities are endless. I have tried to learn not to be impulsive. My kneejerk reaction is to do something. The correct answer is to pray about it. Let God do His thing. I hate to see people in pain, but sometimes, a little pain is precisely what God intends. I think about the long-term consequences of my help. Will it promote independence and growth, or will it foster dependency?

Leo’s Echo

It has been almost a quarter of a century, and that one statement by Leo haunts me. When do I play, and when do I sit on the sidelines? When am I helping with God’s plan for another, and when am I getting in the way? I have gained the wisdom to ask the question but not the wisdom to answer it. That is troubling.

1 John 2:6, “The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.”

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Calling

Finding your calling

Having a calling: do we have a calling, and if so, how would we know? I often think about this and talk with others about it because I spent most of my life chasing the wrong dream. I felt that God’s natural and spiritual gifts were the same or at least variations of the same. My passion for my vocation was the same as my passion for Christ. I believed He made me chase what I chased for a God-given reason. Regi Cambell, in his Book “Radical Wisdom” made this statement:

“A secular endeavor approached from a spiritual perspective is spiritual.

A spiritual endeavor, approached from a secular perspective, is secular.”

Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”

Over half a century of getting knocked down to my knees, then getting back up only to be knocked down again, have taught me that I am not good at creating my calling. God created it in me; I needed to stop fighting it and grow with it.

John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”

Calling is that umbrella that sits over all things in your universe. It not only includes the tools that God has given you: skills, passion, relationships, vocation, experience, and knowledge, but also spiritual gifts. This transformation of worldly traits into spiritual realms is what powers you to a higher purpose and meaning.

THE LIST

Here is a simple list of “thoughts” that might help inspire you to think more deeply about your calling.

    • Give Freely: The accurate measure of your life lies in what you give away—not just money, but your time, attention, and compassion.
    • Beyond Accumulation: What you accumulate in life loses its value once you’re gone. Yet, it often defines the worth of our lives.
    • Selfless Living: Those who dedicate the latter part of their lives to selfless service rarely wish to trade it for hobbies like fishing, traveling, or golfing.
    • Act Now: It’s wise to engage in meaningful actions while you have the time, health, energy, and resources. We never know how long these will last.
    • Time Awareness: Many of us realize that time is running out, and it’s the one thing we cannot save for a rainy day.
    • Meaning Over Measure: A calling is more about its intrinsic meaning than measurable outcomes. Focus on your intent, not just the impact.
    • Fear of Significance: Our fear of making a significant impact can prevent us from making the most meaningful contributions.
    • Emotional Burden: A calling is driven by your emotional burdens, soft skills, and feelings rather than your background or hard skills.
    • Embrace Your Burdens: Reflect on what keeps you up at night. Don’t suppress these feelings—let them guide you and allow God to work through them.
    • Learn by Helping: A calling often starts by assisting others. Learn from them, and let their passion ignite yours.
    • Focus on People: Your calling is about the people God places in your path, not necessarily the specific tasks or destinations.
    • Disobedience Indicator: You can recognize your calling if not pursuing it feels like disobedience.
    • Success Redefined: Measure success by your actions, not by what you achieve. Ask yourself, “Did I do what was asked of me?”
    • Outcome Independence: Your responsibility is to fulfill what God asked you to do, regardless of the outcome.

2 Thessalonians 2:14, “He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge for most overachievers is that they want to be the next great tsunami. They want to be that transformable wave that changes destinies and lifts lives. They want what they do to ripple through eternity like rolling thunder. Me too. But that is not the path before most of us. The path is a path of obedience to small things that will someday lead to great things, mostly after we have left his spinning globe.

Do not fail to do what you can while waiting to do something significant. What is significant to God is a life lived as a reflection of His love and care for all humankind. Calling isn’t a mountain to climb but a step out the front door. It is a decision to focus on people, not tasks or destinations. It uses the personality and traits God created in you at inception to serve the people God puts before you.

2 Peter 1:10-11, “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

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RANDOM

Randomness seems so random. Simple concepts sometimes catch my attention. One of them is randomness. Did you know you cannot prove randomness; you can only disprove it? Just because you can not find the pattern in a sequence does not mean it doesn’t exist. But if you find a pattern, you know it is not random.

Interestingly, this also applies to a lie. If I had said that I was at home last night by myself, then the only way to prove I lied was to prove where I was. If you can’t prove the truth, the lie stands. Just because someone did not see me doesn’t mean I wasn’t out somewhere.

INCIDENTAL ME

Psalm 139:13-14, "You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this."

Let’s start with the most random event in my life: being born a white male in the United States during the 1950’s. The answer is incredibly small, 0.065%. That is sixty-five one thousand of one percent. Each of us has a number like that in our existence. For example, the probability of a male being born in Zaire in the 1970s is 0.14%. That means it was twice as likely to be born male in Zaire in the 1970s than in the US in the 1950s. My dad had a college degree, making him among the only 6.2% of people in the United States with a degree. That means only 43 out of every million people born in the US in 1950 shared my start in life. There were only 3 million births in the United States that year. In the world, as a whole, there are less than 140 people who started life with what I had. Why is this important?

Isaiah 64:8, "Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay; you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

God is not random. The odds of my existence, 0.004304%, are not random. I take for granted that I am who I am. I do not question my heritage. But my existence, although seemingly random, is specific. God planted me here and when for His purpose. What I have experienced in my life is not the product of random behavior. It is part of a carefully crafted plan for all of creation. Do you believe that about yourself?

ARBITRARY YOU

Jeremiah 1:4-5, "The Lord gave me this message: "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

I get the incredible opportunity to meet people from all over the world who God created in a much different environment. Sometimes, it is hard for me to understand the context of their existence. Those are fancy words: “I don’t get how you can accept who you are and where you are.” I find insane potential with limited opportunity. But, just as I am a carefully crafted person, designed for a specific plan in God’s kingdom, so are they. So are you.

Every Christian is born great. Greatness is inside every new creation. This greatness is what makes you unique and distinguishes you from others. – Justice Kojo Bentil

When we spend too much time trying to be someone else or somewhere else, we are disputing the sovereignty of God’s wisdom. God created our purpose and meaning before we became aware of it. The country, ethnic group, economic status, gender, education, and even our disabilities are part of the careful crafting. In our weakness, we are made strong.

Psalm 139:16, "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

What we choose to do with that craftmanship differentiates who we become. Do we see ourselves as a victim of randomness or part of a glorious plan to save all of humankind? Are the events of our lives the random results of living in a broken world? Is God crafting us to be unique within His kingdom, or is He accepting what life makes us?

THE GREAT PLAN

Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

I apologize; I had an unequaled head start in most of the world. I did not recognize it for what it was and squandered the first half of my life, thinking it was normal and random; 0.004304% had to be random. Now I know that you, me, and every other person on this planet are specifically created to achieve a purpose designed within us at birth. It is not random; the creator of the universe intentionally crafts it. We, and we alone, get to choose.  

Psalm 139:2-4, "You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord."

CHOOSE WISELY

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Understanding Myself.

Understanding myself; evolving from information to wisdom. Like many Christians, I struggle with obedience. I have gotten to a place where I don’t struggle with the big decisions, but I struggle with the everyday reactions to meaningless situations. I become emotionally highjacked by simple events. Things that I can stand back and say to myself, this is meaningless; it has no bearing on my life or my salvation; it’s just wrong; the wrongness is a value judgment on my behalf.

I go back to Paul’s passage in Romans 7:15-20, one of the most grammatically challenging passages in the Bible, but its message is something we all can relate to.

Paul says, “I do not understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I do not do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. When I do the thing I do not want to do, it shows me that the Law is right and good. So, I am not doing it. Sin living in me is doing it. I know there is nothing good in me, that is, in my flesh. For I want to do good but I do not. I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I am always doing the sinful things I do not want to do. If I am always doing the very thing I do not want to do, it means I am no longer the one who does it. It is a sin that lives in me.”

Struggling with Repetitive Sin

We all struggle with sin. It is inherent within us to stray from God. The lure of the world is ever-present. That lure is not always selfish in origin; sometimes, it disguises itself as righteous indignation. We internalize our behavior as a way of making it more palatable. Sin finds a way of making us think that being right is better than doing right. Once being right is more important, we fail. We fail repeatedly, always wanting to improve but never quite getting there.

1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

The genesis of this thinking comes from a new project a friend and I are undertaking. As we grow older and watch our parents grow older, we want to avoid the pitfalls of aging. I don’t want to become that grumpy older man that people avoid. I want to be light in the darkness. As the saying goes, growing old is not for sissies. As we age past sixty, we realize we are slowly losing control of our everyday life. This loss of control can be frustrating.

So, my friend and I came up with a list of attributes that older people need to become aware of as they age. This list isn’t about how to live healthier or happier; it is about how to interact more positively with younger people who may not realize what you are going through. We then applied Biblical teaching to each attribute. This project was a self-improvement project, not an educational project aimed at others.

Understanding: Converting Information to Knowledge

Proverbs 17:27 – “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.”

The problem that came to light is that even knowing the issues, I still fall short. I struggle to convert information into knowledge, expecting it to become wisdom someday. I live my life like it is just information. Converting information to knowledge requires contextualization, evaluation, application, and reflection. We can not accomplish this in the rearview mirror; it must be forward-thinking.

I do not know myself; I don’t want to move my sin underground away from prying eyes, thinking sinful thoughts while responding with “Bless you.”  I want to turn away from sin altogether. Paul and I have a common problem. We know what to do; we don’t always do it.

The first step is engaging actively with Biblical concepts through discussions, teaching, or hands-on practice. Converting information to knowledge is active, not passive. Knowing something doesn’t mean you understand it and can apply it. In my case, I need to put our list of attributes into action and reinforce that action with discussions and introspection. We can not accomplish this in a vacuum.

Understanding: Converting Knowledge to Wisdom

Ecclesiastes 7:19 – “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.”

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”- Charles Spurgeon.

It gets trickier to change knowledge into wisdom. Wisdom requires time and experience. Wisdom comes from the repetitive practice of trial and error. It is about getting knocked down and getting back up repeatedly. We need to use each opportunity to teach us something new. You start to get a deeper understanding and recognize patterns. There becomes this interconnectedness between the existing state and the desired state of our being. We develop more empathy and emotional intelligence, not just for our being but the being of others. We can’t change others without first changing ourselves.

Final Thought

Paul was more extraordinary than I could ever hope to be, and he still struggled. I can not expect to experience anything different. What Paul did was constantly push back against worldly traits. He never conquered his sin, but he didn’t give in either. He battled it every day. I can not ask myself anything more than that.

James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”
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