The Conundrum of Intentional Obedience

“I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do” – Edward Everett Hale, American author, historian, civil war spy, and Unitarian minister, 1822-1909

Intentionality and Obedience

I sometimes feel like I am one of the Israelites in the desert. God provides, and I grumble. Every time, absolutely every time, I am intentional in my obedience; good things happen. But still, I falter. You see, I want something I should never have. I should never have them because they are not good for me. No matter how much I covet them, I will be disappointed. I know this, and still, I want. God does His best to protect me, except for this “free will” thing. If He took that away, decisions would be easier.

1 Peter 1:14, “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance.”

At night, clarity came over me about what I needed to do. Intentionality and obedience go hand-in-hand. We can’t plan to be obedient; we have to execute. Much of the value in obedience comes from our dogged desire to see it through with urgency.

1 Timothy 1:5, “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”

I am at that point in life where my bucket list has only one last item, obedience to God’s call. It’s somewhat revealing that this is the last thing on my bucket list; shouldn’t it have been the first? In a long life, shouldn’t I have experienced this yet? There are two challenges; first, there is the constant nature of obedience, and second, there is the intentionality of obedience. Mostly I’m obedient when I can see the why. I can follow when what I want is synchronized with what I think God wants. In hindsight, I see that this synchronicity is mostly a false rationalization. I see what I want and assume God sees the same thing.  But His view is greater than mine.

1 Corinthians 2:9, “However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who love him.”

The core issue concerns my genuine desire to be obedient. Am I only obedient when it looks to be to my benefit; when I see God’s desire for my life to be in concert with mine? Am I on God’s side, or do I expect Him to be on mine? Do I expect God to agree with me?

“Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.” – Abraham Lincoln.

Over the last few weeks, I have started to perceive a new view of God that is somewhat different than my previous view. I have always read and heard about God’s emotional attributes; you know his mercy, love, and compassion. I’ve balanced God’s good side with His judgment, wrath, and condemnation. I have built up this image of a God not much different than myself. He is perfect, and I am not, but we share the same challenges. God is much better at taking the right path; His path is correct by definition. This leaves me in the position of trying to empathize with His decisions. I try to put His decision in perspective of what I am experiencing.

Numbers 28:19, “God is not man that He should lie, or son of man that He should change His mind. Has He said and will He not do it? Or has He spoken and will not fulfil it?”

Unchanging and Perfect

Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.”

What if God was constant and our perception of Him changes? What if He is always perfect and absolute, but we perceive Him differently based on the decision’s impact on us? What if there is an innate purity to all of God’s decisions that supersede emotional attributes?  He is everything we perceive Him to be, but it is not what drives Him. It is not that God doesn’t love us unconditionally. It is not that He is not merciful, kind, compassionate, and long-suffering. It is not that God hates sin. Because of these innate attributes of His character, He does not become emotionally highjacked when making decisions. He always does what’s best.

Isaiah 14:24, “Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned so shall it be, and as I have proposed, so shall it stand.”

What would that mean to our obedience? God does not decide based on human emotions like compassion or wrath but absolute truth. We judge the impact of His decision based on how we see it affecting us; did He bless or curse us? Job’s friends had a big issue with this. They tried to tie Job’s predicament to God’s emotional state. They felt Job must have angered God somehow.

Job 34:36, “Job ought to be tried to the limit because he answers like wicked men.”

Once our need to be obedient rises above the emotional attributes assigned to God, it becomes more intentional. We know God’s truth is innately super-eminent and pure so we can follow. Not because we can rationalize some benefit to our world or His kingdom, but because it is by design perfect. And because it is always perfect, we know He is working with our best interest in mind, even when we don’t see it.

I’m not sure about this idea. It resonates with me. It helps me rationalize why I stray when the path is clear, just undesirable. The concept explains why our human-size brain doesn’t always understand answered prayer. Like most people seeing answered prayer motivates us to be more intentional. Our goal should be intentionally obedient, not just reluctantly obedient. We should want to pursue His desire for our life, not just accept the inevitable outcome of His power. Being obedient is moving in the direction of perfection.

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”