I didn’t sleep last night. It was one of those nights when I couldn’t turn off the thoughts racing around inside my head. Most of them came and went like dried leaves on an autumn breeze. A few, the important ones, wouldn’t leave me alone. They wanted answers, and I wanted to sleep. We compromised; they didn’t get their answers, and I didn’t get my sleep.
The context of the most troubling thoughts were things that meant a lot to me but didn’t go as expected. These weren’t errant drives off of the fourth tee; they were heartaches. They were things I wanted but didn’t get. In one case, it cost me everything. My inner self wanted to know why.
There is this propensity to believe if we live a good life, God will bless us with good things. Not exactly prosperity gospel, but close in a non-material way. A feeling that we should somehow be rewarded for doing what is right in God’s eyes. After all if I take the time and money to serve God’s people wouldn’t God smile on me?
Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Tim Keller said, “The basic premise of religion– that if you live a good life, things will go well for you– is wrong. Jesus was the most morally upright person who ever lived, yet He had a life filled with the experience of poverty, rejection, injustice, and even torture.”
Tim answers the age-old question: Why do bad things happen to good people? Christ, Himself, was subjected to immense trauma just because He wanted to save the world. We live in a fallen world with dark forces outside of our control. These forces are always trying to defeat us. If we let them, they will.
Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
With all that happened to Job (Job 1-42), God did not feel the need to tell him why (Job 38:1-18). What God does tell Job is that He, God, is in control of everything and that He is all we really need. God will provide. He will heal our hearts and restore our future.
Isaiah 40:28-31, “Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
I want a warm and fuzzy answer that will help me sleep, but there isn’t one. We are in the midst of spiritual warfare. Dumpster fires in our life will blaze out of control until we lay down the water hose and call on God. I want to know why. It breaks my heart not to know. But I am at peace with the knowledge that, if I let Him, He will redeem me from the fire and set me on high. Experience has taught me this one very valuable lesson; no matter how disappointing things are in the moment, if it is God’s will, it will be the best in the long term.
Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. “
Tomme, this is good stuff….I didn’t sleep last night either. Probably for similar reasons. Your lament portrays our dilemma and our hope so beautifully. It reminds of the verses found in Habakkuk 3:17-19. Thank you.
What a great verse:
Habakkuk 3:17-19 17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. 19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.