Enter the New Year. It is the Chinese year of the rabbit, which is appropriate. As we enter the new year, time is fleeting. We must make the most of this new year before it’s gone.
So, as we enter this new year, I wanted to tell you a story that might help you set your objectives. It’s my story. Like David, Moses, and many other characters in the Bible, my life has had its bumps and bruises. But also it has a lesson. It starts with the first question I had to answer; “who am I?”. That was a tough question for me to answer. A lot of clichés’ came to mind. I also gravitated toward things that sounded grandiose but weren’t true. My true mission in life wasn’t admirable, but finding it and articulating it opened my eyes to what has happened. Writing this is cathartic.
Proverbs 1:8-9, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
THE STORY
Who am I? I am the only son of a high-achieving “greatest generation” father. My mission in life was to be like him but better. I tried to achieve my mission by outworking everyone around me. My dad had one college degree; I have three. He worked full-time through college, and so did I, three times. I studied for every meeting and every engagement like it was a final exam. I had to be the smartest guy in the room. No one could be on my team if they didn’t have my work ethic.
THE JOURNEY
I tried to be this person by emulating my father. My father was a successful engineer; He was President of the City Council in my city and President of the School Board when I graduated from High School; his signature is on my High School Diploma.
He was well-liked, had a good sense of humor, and was a man of high character, brilliant and unassuming He could multiply two eight-digit numbers in his head to entertain my friends. I loved and idolized my father.
Romans 4:4, “Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor, but as what is due.”
I was driven to succeed in everything I tried. I was raised to believe that you didn’t appreciate anything you didn’t work for. This drive manifested itself in anger and frustration. I didn’t feel I ever measured up. My father seemed so natural at it, and it seemed so unnatural to me. I was constantly pressing. Although it did drive me to a high level of success, it didn’t provide any satisfaction in that success. It created relationship problems in almost every aspect of my life. My life and ambition controlled me. I was a slave to whom I thought I must be. My ego and pride painted over all my insecurities.
“To love yourself is to know that your past does not change your worth.”
THE AWAKENING
I was divorced at a young age. I was running 10 miles every day to help deal with the stress. By the age of 30, I had to have a pacemaker. Caffeine and stress short-circuited my heart’s electrical system. Success was killing me; I knew I couldn’t keep this up; I either had to abandon my mission in life or find a better way.
I couldn’t abandon who I thought I was, so I turned to the Bible for advice. I turned to the Bible because I remember it from my childhood days attending church. Going to church still wasn’t in the plan; I was a self-made man. The Bible proved to be an owner’s manual on how to live—changing my approach to working with people significantly reduced my stress. Knowing that I was part of a plan that could not fail gave me confidence, even when things didn’t go well. I started to relax but still lacked purpose.
Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I decided I needed help from people who understood the Bible better than me, so I started attending church.
CLARITY OF PURPOSE
That was when I received my aha moment; it was the tangent point that changed the direction of my life. I was given a cassette tape of a one-person play called “The BEMA.” It was about what you have done for Christ since you met Him. I realized that life had never been about me. It had always been about others. My legacy was not in what I achieved to elevate myself in life but in what I was doing to help others elevate themselves. I found purpose with meaning.
The pressure was gone. The drive is still there, but it is focused on results that do not belong to me. Kingdom gain is the measure; material gain may or may not follow. My goal was to be obedient to Christ when He called.
I quit corporate America and started a couple of companies operating on Christian principles. I held Bible Study once a week in my business to show my commitment to Christ and hold myself accountable to my employees for living up to that commitment. In retirement, I now work with several Christian-based missions using the skills and resources developed in me by God through life experiences. Anger is long gone. I am at peace with the person God made me. And, I want for nothing materially that I do not have or can’t obtain. God is good.
THE LESSON
“Don’t let your past dictate who you are. Let it be the lesson that strengthens the person you will become.”
As we enter the New Year, answering the question of who you are, will open your eyes to what drives you. You might find that the wrong standard drives you. I didn’t realize my dad’s impact on my life until my sisters pointed it out. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen until I was over 60. I was driven by an aberration. I know my father would never have wanted that for me. But I didn’t know it was happening. Christ entered my life and fixed a problem I didn’t know I had. I could not have written my story this way ten years ago. Ten years ago, I still saw myself as Don Quixote saving the fair maiden. Like the fictional Don Quixote, I was tilting at windmills.
Psalm 103:13, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”
God has made us incredible creatures capable of amazing things. But when we try to control who we are or want to be, the wheels come off. Sometimes this control is subconscious. Give it to God. Why? God is good all the time.
Psalm 20:4, “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”